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Sue-ssical, part one: The Perfect King


LordStoneheart

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Isn't Stannis just like the worst of all possible Mary Sues?



I mean, just listen to his backstory. He's an atheist because his parents died in a shipwreck. Tragic orphan story, check. He's the unappreciated brother that was bullied by the Big Tough Warrior older brother and the Fabulously Popular younger brother. He accomplished great deeds at Storm's End but was given Dragonstone instead. He's the misfit of the family, but that works to his advantage as a Sue. All his flaws are made out to be these things that make him so perfect, like being rigidly moral with no exceptions except Davos. And he gets this sidekick from Mary Sue hell whose flawed past also makes him into this perfect knightly character with an aww shucks attitude and a cute vegetable nickname.



Stannis even gets two women at his side to literally worship him as the chosen hero, and fawn at his every move. Melisandre does all sorts of magic tricks just to appease this guy. It's like everything is just handed to him. Except the Iron Throne, but that's all part of his Mary Sue Journey through the Monomyth. Since he's Azory Hie Rebirthed its so obvious he's going to win the throne and unite everyone against the white walkers, marry Daenerys, and have three wives (three heads of the dragon anyone?).



Coming soon, Sue-ssical, part two: Sandor the Perfect.



Every character's a Sue if you don't like them...





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Stannis's back story is basically a D & D campaign. He is a Paladin wielding a magic sword, accompanied by a loveable Rogue (Davos) and a mysterious Cleric (Melisandre). He even has a spoony bard (Patchface), though he lost his solemn, knowledgeable Wizard in the beginning of the first book.

Since he's Azory Hie Rebirthed its so obvious he's going to win the throne and unite everyone against the white walkers, marry Daenerys, and have three wives (three heads of the dragon anyone?).

I disagree. 'Three heads of the dragon' traditionally referred to one person with two spouses (ie Aegon and his two sister-wives). If Stannis married three women (including Dany), he would not be able to find dragons for each of them. Dany is bound to Drogon already; Stannis may yet ride Viserion or Rhaegal, and if he does that leaves just one dragon for the other two people in the marriage. If Stannis is the referent of that prophecy, he would be limited to a maximum of one additional wife.

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  • 6 months later...

I'm waiting for Part 2.

ah how I wish I would've stuck with this... I thought I was going to but I just kept putting it off and fell behind in school work. And don't tell the Hound fans, but the more I read about him for this the less I was harsh on him (only in Storm, fuck him before that) and the less funny things I could find to construct him into a Sue.

But between you and me, and I guess anyone who reads this, there are some on here who stretch the term so thing that I think I could try it again. Interested? :)

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ah how I wish I would've stuck with this... I thought I was going to but I just kept putting it off and fell behind in school work. And don't tell the Hound fans, but the more I read about him for this the less I was harsh on him (only in Storm, fuck him before that) and the less funny things I could find to construct him into a Sue.

But between you and me, and I guess anyone who reads this, there are some on here who stretch the term so thing that I think I could try it again. Interested? :)

Very.

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