UK Politics: General Election Triviality

[Xray the Enforcer]

Goddammit. That's like me forgetting to tell everyone I was eligible for a Hugo this year. (I actually was eligible for a Hugo this year, and forgot about it until the day nominations were due.)

And here I was thinking that I could start a thread soliciting ideas on what my platform would be! :bawl:

[Alex.]

Goddammit. That's like me forgetting to tell everyone I was eligible for a Hugo this year. (I actually was eligible for a Hugo this year, and forgot about it until the day nominations were due.)

The Hugos appear to have gone a bit #gamergate this year anyway unfortunately.

(Congrats on the eligibility though, that's cool)

[Xray the Enforcer]

Yeah, if I had been organized, in a regular year I might actually have had a shot. This year, no chance.

Lummel, you make excellent points that Poe's Law absolutely applies to U.S. politics. Man, we are a nation of mouthbreathers.

[Chaldanya]

The reason we're not getting a lot of electionfic is that Lummel is now writing for The Guardian. Only way to explain this:

John Major, for example – it was the moment when, every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was his engorged penis repeatedly penetrating Edwina Currie’s moistened labia. To this day, that’s still all I see. That’s all I ever see, over and over again on a disgusting loop that cannot ever end. The image has lost all meaning now. It’s just meat slamming against meat. This, I suspect, is why I can now only become aroused by watching 1970s educational documentaries about the production of tinned dog food.

N

[Xray the Enforcer]

:stillsick:

[Alex.]

So as part of the Tories forced volunteering great idea, spending your time volunteering at a Trade Union will be specifically banned. This lot are just a parody of themselves. Apparently it's the "Big Society in action".

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/volunteering-at-trade-unions-will-be-specifically-banned-under-the-tories-new-paid-volunteering-leave-plan-10168581.html

[Lummel]

The reason we're not getting a lot of electionfic is that Lummel is now writing for The Guardian. Only way to explain this:

N

I never knew that you thought my spelling was bad enough :laugh:

But there is only one way I can attempt to refute this vile charge:

A wave of pleasure swept over Edwina leaving her trembling, wet, and puzzled by the plumbing arrangements, as she looked across the room at the Prime Minister, resplendent in his Pearly King costume

"John, I thought you'd never come", her voice a soft sigh of longing. She was as tremulous as the cover of a romantic novel held by someone with Parkinson's Disease and twice as crass as someone who could make such an observation.

"I'm sorry, but I had to finish my peas...Norma...she knows how to cook peas"

"Undress for me"

The Prime Minister kept his eyes fixed on her, on that hard line of her shoulder pads, which seemed to deny the presence of the soft curves of her body encased in the power suit. He undressed silently, never shifting his male gaze, folding his clothes neatly on to a chair, then finally with an unexpected flourish sweeping a decorated jacket over the back of the padded chair.

"The cabinet table? Again?"

"Yes John..."

With a single quick shrug she managed to get her own jacket off, but then coyly played with a button on her blouse as she regarded his most conservative organ "...but first lets eat some eggs."

[Alex.]

Oh ffs

Eta: as if you didn't have that prepared waiting for the opportunity to copy and paste

[Alex.]

John Major in a Pearly King costume has done me I have to say. That's it for the weekend

[DJDonegal]

Just watched the Labour Manifesto launch speech from Ed Milibland. He was on good form. I know he was surrounded by one-eyed Red Party fans, but his humour was good and he came across really well.

ETA: Ken Livingstone's Polish lookalike has challenged Farage to an old fashioned duel over immigration.

Quite possibly my favourite story of the campaign so far.

[Maltaran]

The Tory activists standing behind Gove on the BBC right now are all wearing Nicola Sturgeon masks

[Pebble thats Stubby]

The prince mentions that a duel with such weapons is what any self-respecting 18th Century Polish aristocrat and an English gentleman would do.

Although I fully support such efforst and would personally like to cheer on Andrzej, I think his biggest mistake is assuming that Nigel is a Gentelman.

[polishgenius]

The descendants-in-exile of disenfranchised Polish Szlachta are pretty badass. I say that as such a one myself. :P

[The BlackBear]

I thought generally in duels the challenged can choose what weapons are used. Maybe they could have a drink off?

[polishgenius]

I thought generally in duels the challenged can choose what weapons are used. Maybe they could have a drink off?

You think Farage is fool enough to challenge a Pole to a drink-off?

What am I talking about. Of course he is.

[The BlackBear]

You think Farage is fool enough to challenge a Pole to a drink-off?

What am I talking about. Of course he is.

Just imagine how brilliant that would be.

[Chaldanya]

I never knew that you thought my spelling was bad enough :laugh:

But there is only one way I can attempt to refute this vile charge:

You think I'm worried about spelling when I'm confronted with the thoughts of Edwina Currie's labia? Jesus, you must have a stomach made of cast iron.

N

[ljkeane]

Labour are really going all out in my constituency. I've had three or four leaflets through my door and they've just had a load of volunteers going round knocking on doors. I don't think I've ever had more than one or two leaflets before. They've got a new candidate this year but I would have still thought it'd be a fairly safe Labour seat so it's a bit of a surprise how hard they're pushing it.

[Lummel]

You think I'm worried about spelling when I'm confronted with the thoughts of Edwina Currie's labia? Jesus, you must have a stomach made of cast iron.

N

The thought of Edwina's labia doesn't scare me, I have seen her once, although on reflection she was dressed at the time

as was I

. Giant chickens were not involved.

I should probably explain that I am more the depressive than the anxious type so my reaction is more likely to be **sigh** ah, those are the labia of noted '80s politician Mrs Currie, is now the right time to make an inappropriate remark about the virtue of doing knitting? **sigh** rather than "Help, I'm hyper-ventilating, anybody got a brown paper bag to breath into?!"

what is this life of mine that I am discussing Edwina Currie's labia in a public forum? I'm sure that they are perfectly decent in a physical sense if not perhaps the most apt topic of polite conversation, now I suppose I have to accept that the discussion of the nether regions of UK politicians 1979-to date is likely to be my legacy on this site - not exactly a topic you can do on Mastermind

[SeanF]

I never knew that you thought my spelling was bad enough :laugh:

But there is only one way I can attempt to refute this vile charge:

A wave of pleasure swept over Edwina leaving her trembling, wet, and puzzled by the plumbing arrangements, as she looked across the room at the Prime Minister, resplendent in his Pearly King costume

"John, I thought you'd never come", her voice a soft sigh of longing. She was as tremulous as the cover of a romantic novel held by someone with Parkinson's Disease and twice as crass as someone who could make such an observation.

"I'm sorry, but I had to finish my peas...Norma...she knows how to cook peas"

"Undress for me"

The Prime Minister kept his eyes fixed on her, on that hard line of her shoulder pads, which seemed to deny the presence of the soft curves of her body encased in the power suit. He undressed silently, never shifting his male gaze, folding his clothes neatly on to a chair, then finally with an unexpected flourish sweeping a decorated jacket over the back of the padded chair.

"The cabinet table? Again?"

"Yes John..."

With a single quick shrug she managed to get her own jacket off, but then coyly played with a button on her blouse as she regarded his most conservative organ "...but first lets eat some eggs."

How about The Mellorphant Man, in his Chelsea strip?