Theda Baratheon Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 I've been regularly leaving by bed at 3pm, by the time I shower, get dressed and go downstairs to join the living, it's already dark outside...I've been doing for a few weeks now...I hate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch-MaesterPhilip Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 I've been doing so good lately but I think I'm hitting a low. It is the absolute worst time, not that there is ever a good time but you get it. I've been extra lonely as or late and that is a big part of it I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 made a post on tumblr about depression and got 120+ on it today which means a lot of people just ''get it'' sad but trueo, doesn't mean it's accepted or understood though because half of the people that suffer from anxiety and depression don't even accept it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdawnb Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 made a post on tumblr about depression and got 120+ on it today which means a lot of people just ''get it'' sad but trueo, doesn't mean it's accepted or understood though because half of the people that suffer from anxiety and depression don't even accept it. That's because so many people look at it as a weakness and not a sickness, even people who have it. I'm not really sure why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterbound Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Went to the doc. Weening of the Wellbutrin. Not sure if it helped or not, or if i needed to just get my nutrition back in line and stop listening to the VA docs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdawnb Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Went to the doc. Weening of the Wellbutrin. Not sure if it helped or not, or if i needed to just get my nutrition back in line and stop listening to the VA docs. Meds can be funny things. I was on various meds for almost 7 years but then had to stop about 3 years ago because of lack of money. I haven't noticed a huge difference.For some people, they seem to be life savers. All I seemed to get were side effects. I hope it works out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterbound Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Meds can be funny things. I was on various meds for almost 7 years but then had to stop about 3 years ago because of lack of money. I haven't noticed a huge difference.For some people, they seem to be life savers. All I seemed to get were side effects. I hope it works out for you. Yeah, it was making me super .... flat? That and I was getting forgetful and a motherfucker. Not sure if that was the meds or something else, but I'd like to try life without them again for a while. 90days is a good trial run. See how I do without them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdawnb Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 I have insomnia right now. Oh joy. All lack of sleep does is fuel my anxiety which in turn fuels my depression.I'm in for a rough few days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drawkcabi Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 I went to see my new therapist for the first time today. I hadn't gone in for a couple months, since my last appointment with my old therapist. I had an appointment last month I had to cancel because our car was in the shop, it was only supposed to be in for a couple days and ended up being in for almost 3 weeks.I ran out of my anti-depression meds too during that time. I'm on generic Zoloft. Soon as we got the car back I picked up a new prescription.Anyway my therapist talked about the importance of building my support network especially after I told her what I've been thinking about a lot lately.Stress and anxiety has been overwhelming me lately and specific and detailed suicidal thoughts have been running through my head. I've been feeling that the only reason I'm still around is because of who is depending on me, otherwise I wouldn't be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdawnb Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 I went to see my new therapist for the first time today. I hadn't gone in for a couple months, since my last appointment with my old therapist. I had an appointment last month I had to cancel because our car was in the shop, it was only supposed to be in for a couple days and ended up being in for almost 3 weeks.I ran out of my anti-depression meds too during that time. I'm on generic Zoloft. Soon as we got the car back I picked up a new prescription.Anyway my therapist talked about the importance of building my support network especially after I told her what I've been thinking about a lot lately.Stress and anxiety has been overwhelming me lately and specific and detailed suicidal thoughts have been running through my head. I've been feeling that the only reason I'm still around is because of who is depending on me, otherwise I wouldn't be.I understand what you are going through. I don't have any answers for you but I wanted you to know you aren't alone in feeling overwhelmed and having suicidal thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drawkcabi Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 I understand what you are going through. I don't have any answers for you but I wanted you to know you aren't alone in feeling overwhelmed and having suicidal thoughts.Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pro Augustis Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 For what it's worth, you really are not alone drawkcabi. The last sentence of your post in particular was eerily familiar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spring Bass Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Damn intrusive thoughts flared up again. They've definitely been getting better (I've gone stretches of days where they were effectively non-existent), but they triggered back again, and it just takes a few things to trigger them. Blargh. Just got to get back on it, letting the thoughts go without dwelling on them, and resisting any sort of compulsions. It's worked before (although unfortunately that may have just caused the intrusive thoughts to shift to a different subject). I'll go look up a therapist or psychiatrist if they're not getting better by mid-January. I thought about going to one earlier, but they've mostly been getting better since August so I haven't gone yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A True Kaniggit Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Damn intrusive thoughts flared up again. They've definitely been getting better (I've gone stretches of days where they were effectively non-existent), but they triggered back again, and it just takes a few things to trigger them. Blargh. Just got to get back on it, letting the thoughts go without dwelling on them, and resisting any sort of compulsions. It's worked before (although unfortunately that may have just caused the intrusive thoughts to shift to a different subject). I'll go look up a therapist or psychiatrist if they're not getting better by mid-January. I thought about going to one earlier, but they've mostly been getting better since August so I haven't gone yet. I hate when this happens. People say time since the event is supposed to help, and I guess it has. The longer it's been, the longer I can go without the memories popping up. But every now and then, you just have a bad night, and you can't think of anything else. Tonight's been the first time in at least 3 weeks, and I hope it's the last time.Take care EB, you're not alone, and I hope those pesky thoughts go away once and for all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdawnb Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 I'm getting so tired of the pain. It seems never ending. It has been never ending. Even if it eases off for awhile it comes back with a vengeance. I feel like I have no place to turn, no place to run or hide from it. My anxiety is so bad I can barely breathe today. The depression is grinding me down. I'm just tired of it. I would give anything to be normal, or at least not like this. I'm so lonely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tower of Almond Joy Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 snipped Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdawnb Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Hello Everyone. Have had a dickens of a time getting on here. Just now the screen was all moving around up and down. The holiday season has been not been pleasant to say the least. Its been downright awful. My husband still can't walk. He has stress fractures that his quack of a foot surgeon missed, Found a better dr he can go to that I went to years ago. didnt know we could see him. He deosnt go back to the new dr until mid Jan, holidays sure messing up getting appt.I've had gastritis caused from all the stress so I cant eat much. and the pain from that is bad no much to do about it either.I have been so depressed I dont have time for anxiety. I dont care like I used too. if something falls on the floor i just leave it there. my new favorite saying is 'it can wait until tomorrow' then say it again the next day. not like myself at all.Theda - I miss you very much. Happy New Year! Hopefully it will be better for all of us. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Hello Everyone. Have had a dickens of a time getting on here. Just now the screen was all moving around up and down. The holiday season has been not been pleasant to say the least. Its been downright awful. My husband still can't walk. He has stress fractures that his quack of a foot surgeon missed, Found a better dr he can go to that I went to years ago. didnt know we could see him. He deosnt go back to the new dr until mid Jan, holidays sure messing up getting appt.I've had gastritis caused from all the stress so I cant eat much. and the pain from that is bad no much to do about it either.I have been so depressed I dont have time for anxiety. I dont care like I used too. if something falls on the floor i just leave it there. my new favorite saying is 'it can wait until tomorrow' then say it again the next day. not like myself at all.Theda - I miss you very much. Happy New Year! Hopefully it will be better for all of us. Ihave been thinking of you a lot lately and worried I didn't see you in this thread ! I am so sorry you are feeling so low. Ans that the holiday season has not been good for you at all (big internet hugs) I had a couple arguments with my family and my Dad told me he thinks "I like being unhappy" (so NOT NOT NOT TRUE ) and that "it's hard to feel any sympathy for you when you don't do anything to help yourself" this is when I broke down in tears and told my Dad how unhappy I was and he just got ANNOYED at me and my sister got angry and disgusted at me and sighed and ignored me when I told her I felt like nothig was good in my life so...THIS is why I don't open up to them about my feelings and why I have always been conviced they dont believe in depression or believe I suffer from it and that im some sort of dramatic liar who loves to be sad and a victim when really im just a girl who LOVES to laugh and be creative and instead im trapped in my depression and i hate it. Big hugs to everyone here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoë Sumra Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 PPD, or at least the start of it. Big yay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdawnb Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Theda, there is nothing more heartbreaking, frustrating and infuriating than to have the people you depend on for support dismiss your illness as some sort of phantom issue. Or to say that you enjoy being sad. I'm so sorry that happened to you.The only advice I can give you is that you will have go outside your family to receive the support you need and deserve. You are in the UK so I don't know what sort of social services you have access too, but please, take advantage of the ones you do have. I know it seems overwhelming to wade through all of the obstacles that come with trying to get help, but I encourage you to try if you can.You, or anyone else on this thread, are welcome to pm me anytime if you need to vent. You aren't a bother, none of you. Please reach out to someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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