Your Random ASOIAF/TWOIAF/D&E Opinions, Confessions and Dirty Secrets, (making the) 8. [The Seven was cursed]

[Blackfyre Bastard]

6 hours ago, JonCon's Red Beard said:

Not even Cersei could tell them apart, that's why she confessed to sleep with all of them.

Osmund, Osfryd and Osney.

Osmund and Osfryd have the most letters (6), they're the eldest. Osney is the youngest one.

Osney, the YOUNG ONE is the one ordered to bed YOUNG Margaery. He fails, and he does sleep with Cersei.

Varys tells Tyrion Cersei has been flirting with Osmund, and Tyrion tells Jaime they had sex. Osmund, rhymes with Tormund. Jaime even fantasises with OSMUND'S MEMBER being inside Cersei. He's a KG

Osfryd was named Commander of the GC. As far as I remember, he has done nothing (nor Cersei).

Hope that helps.

You're back! Nice to see you around JonCon.

Does this mean Chinese New Year's celebrations are over?

[LordManderlyAsDragonRider]

8 hours ago, JonCon's Red Beard said:

Not even Cersei could tell them apart, that's why she confessed to sleep with all of them.

Osmund, Osfryd and Osney.

Osmund and Osfryd have the most letters (6), they're the eldest. Osney is the youngest one.

Osney, the YOUNG ONE is the one ordered to bed YOUNG Margaery. He fails, and he does sleep with Cersei.

Varys tells Tyrion Cersei has been flirting with Osmund, and Tyrion tells Jaime they had sex. Osmund, rhymes with Tormund. Jaime even fantasises with OSMUND'S MEMBER being inside Cersei. He's a KG

Osfryd was named Commander of the GC. As far as I remember, he has done nothing (nor Cersei).

Hope that helps.

Thanks, that does help..I can get started on my colour coded chart now

So young Osney (who is the unemployed one) was the one that killed the high septon? And although he was the one Cersie ordered to sleep with Marg, she ended up sleeping with Osmund to make him confess to sleeping with Marg? 

I really can't blame Cersie, I'm about to confess to having slept with them all, much easier than keeping them straight!

 

[JonCon's Red Beard]

3 hours ago, LordManderlyAsDragonRider said:

Thanks, that does help..I can get started on my colour coded chart now

So young Osney (who is the unemployed one) was the one that killed the high septon? And although he was the one Cersie ordered to sleep with Marg, she ended up sleeping with Osmund to make him confess to sleeping with Marg? 

I really can't blame Cersie, I'm about to confess to having slept with them all, much easier than keeping them straight!

 

As far as I remember, Cersei only flirted with Osmund. I don't really remember if she slept with him or not. If she did, she probably did it around book 2 and 3, when Jaime wasn't still there and before Tywin arrived. She slept with Osney to bribe him into pursue Margaery (yes, he killed him. Cersei made him do all sort of things to slept with her).

And yes, I would say the same.

 

[JonCon's Red Beard]

5 hours ago, Blackfyre Bastard said:

You're back! Nice to see you around JonCon.

Does this mean Chinese New Year's celebrations are over?

I'm still needing a couple of weeks to reinstall at work, but yea, party is over

Although I had fun: I went to the beach, my hair stopped falling off and it's growing back healthy and strong, and I got bitten by the Zika mosquito, which granted me an immediate trip to the hospital and a doctor telling me that our Zika mosquitos are healthy so, it's not big deal. I haven't yet captured the bastard. (the mosquito, not the doctor).

[Lost Melnibonean]

6 hours ago, JonCon's Red Beard said:

As far as I remember, Cersei only flirted with Osmund. I don't really remember if she slept with him or not. If she did, she probably did it around book 2 and 3, when Jaime wasn't still there and before Tywin arrived. She slept with Osney to bribe him into pursue Margaery (yes, he killed him. Cersei made him do all sort of things to slept with her).

And yes, I would say the same.

 

That's my recollection too. Varys tells Tyrion how Cersei converted Osmund to her side by the promise of sexual favors. But she banged Osney to get him to kill the High Septon and to get him to seduce Maergary. 

[LordManderlyAsDragonRider]

7 hours ago, JonCon's Red Beard said:

As far as I remember, Cersei only flirted with Osmund. I don't really remember if she slept with him or not. If she did, she probably did it around book 2 and 3, when Jaime wasn't still there and before Tywin arrived. She slept with Osney to bribe him into pursue Margaery (yes, he killed him. Cersei made him do all sort of things to slept with her).

And yes, I would say the same.

 

I think you are right, not sure how I mixed Osmund into the "sleeping with Margaery" plot, he is just the witness.

I think I get so confused because Osney at first is a little reluctant to confess to the High Septon. I think he says something about how he would go to hell for lying to a High Septom. So I didn't think this was the same guy who actually killed the last High Septon!

What a complex moral compass these Kettleblacks have...

[HexMachina]

Just to clarify here, the only time we actually have Cersei having sex with Osney in the books is when she gets him to go confess to the High Septon to bedding Margaery, NOT when she asks him to seduce Marg. He (Osney) wrangles this by saying there should be some truth to his confession that he bedded the Queen (I.e. He actually did, just not the one he claims. That he says this implies he has not slept with Cersei prior to this). We don't know if she had slept with the other two or not. Personally, I think it at least likely that she had slept with Osmund. I'm not sure why she would be worried that all 3 confessed to bedding her if she hadn't actually slept with the others, but anyway... 

Cersei also intended that Osney would go to the Wall and kill Jon Snow after confessing. I believe he alone of the Kettleblack brothers is facing execution (for deicide)

[Good Guy Garlan]

9 hours ago, JonCon's Red Beard said:

I'm still needing a couple of weeks to reinstall at work, but yea, party is over

Although I had fun: I went to the beach, my hair stopped falling off and it's growing back healthy and strong, and I got bitten by the Zika mosquito, which granted me an immediate trip to the hospital and a doctor telling me that our Zika mosquitos are healthy so, it's not big deal. I haven't yet captured the bastard. (the mosquito, not the doctor).

OMW, you're back! 

Of course you'd return from your self-imposed exile with a fashionably exotic disease, you're living the #GriffLife! Please tell me you had to fight to reclaim your ancestral house from some squatters and an opportunistic cousin.

[LordManderlyAsDragonRider]

3 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Just to clarify here, the only time we actually have Cersei having sex with Osney in the books is when she gets him to go confess to the High Septon to bedding Margaery, NOT when she asks him to seduce Marg. He (Osney) wrangles this by saying there should be some truth to his confession that he bedded the Queen (I.e. He actually did, just not the one he claims. That he says this implies he has not slept with Cersei prior to this). We don't know if she had slept with the other two or not. Personally, I think it at least likely that she had slept with Osmund. I'm not sure why she would be worried that all 3 confessed to bedding her if she hadn't actually slept with the others, but anyway... 

Cersei also intended that Osney would go to the Wall and kill Jon Snow after confessing. I believe he alone of the Kettleblack brothers is facing execution (for deicide)

When Cersei asks Osney to sleep with Margeary, this exchange takes place:

“You are a wicked man,” the queen whispered, “and no true knight, I think.” She let him touch her breasts through the silk of her gown.

“Enough.”

“It isn’t. I want you.”

“You’ve had me.”

“Only once.”

He grabbed her left breast again and gave it a clumsy squeeze that reminded her of Robert.

“One good night for one good knight. You did me valiant service, and you had your reward.” Cersei walked her fingers up his laces.

 

So Osney had slept with Cersei before, and I'm assuming the "valiant service" was killing the High Septon. Although Osney's reluctance to lie to the High Septon makes me question of it was really him that did that.

As to why he had to sleep with Cersei again to make the "slept with a queen" true, I just don't know.. Maybe they Kettleblacks are even confusing themselves and they aren't sure who slept with Cersei

[JonCon's Red Beard]

4 hours ago, Good Guy Garlan said:

OMW, you're back! 

Of course you'd return from your self-imposed exile with a fashionably exotic disease, you're living the #GriffLife! Please tell me you had to fight to reclaim your ancestral house from some squatters and an opportunistic cousin.

Hah! I haven't noticed this

I have an opportunistic cousin but she's not to worry. Some colleagues, though...

[The Fattest Leech]

On 2/15/2016 at 8:15 PM, LordManderlyAsDragonRider said:

I confess: I just can't keep the kettleblack brothers straight! I need a big, colour coded chart or something. Cersei slept with two on them right? And confess to sleeping with the third one, for reason I don't really understand. There is one in the King's Guard and one is a Gold Cloak, what does the last one do? 

And does Cersei not know that they were Tyrion's men (or pretending to be)? They seem like the last people in the world she would trust.

And who do they work for? Are they still working for little finger?

I just don't think I'll ever get them straight, took me a few years to even get their last name right (somehow read it as kettlebacks), so don't have high hopes for sorting out their first names!

I think they are actually still Littlefinger's men, although, I can't see how much help they have been or will be anymore. Maybe just feeding current news to LF through some type of courier???

In ASOS- Sansa 5, when LF takes Sansa to his homestead on the FIngers, Sansa meets the Kettleblacks father and LF casually mentions that the boys are in his service. Here are a few refresher quotes:

Quote

Oswell grinned, showing a mouth of crooked teeth. "No, but m'lady might of met my three sons."

It was the "three sons," and that smile too. "Kettleblack!" Sansa's eyes went wide. "You're a Kettleblack!"

"Aye, m'lady, as it please you."

Quote

"There's a clever girl." He [Petyr] smiled, his thin lips bright red from the pomegranate seeds. "When the Imp sent off her guards, the queen had Ser Lancel hire sellswords for her. Lancel found her the Kettleblacks, which delighted your little lord husband, since the lads were in his pay through his man Bronn." He chuckled. "But it was me who told Oswell to get his sons to King's Landing when I learned that Bronn was looking for swords. Three hidden daggers, Alayne, now perfectly placed."

Quote

"So one of the Kettleblacks put the poison in Joff's cup?" Ser Osmund had been near the king all night, she remembered.

"Did I say that?" Lord Petyr cut the blood orange in two with his dagger and offered half to Sansa. "The lads are far too treacherous to be part of any such scheme . . . and Osmund has become especially unreliable since he joined the Kingsguard. That white cloak does things to a man, I find. Even a man like him." He tilted his chin back and squeezed the blood orange, so the juice ran down into his mouth. "I love the juice but I loathe the sticky fingers," he complained, wiping his hands. "Clean hands, Sansa. Whatever you do, make certain your hands are clean."

Quote

"If he's half as clever as a sheep pellet, you would think so. Ser Lothor knows as well. But Oswell has been in my service a long time, and Brune is close-mouthed by nature. Kettleblack watches Brune for me, and Brune watches Kettleblack. Trust no one, I once told Eddard Stark, but he would not listen. You are Alayne, and you must be Alayne all the time." He put two fingers on her left breast. "Even here. In your heart. Can you do that? Can you be my daughter in your heart?"

 

[The Fattest Leech]

On 2/15/2016 at 8:15 PM, LordManderlyAsDragonRider said:

I confess: I just can't keep the kettleblack brothers straight! I need a big, colour coded chart or something. Cersei slept with two on them right? And confess to sleeping with the third one, for reason I don't really understand. There is one in the King's Guard and one is a Gold Cloak, what does the last one do? 

~snipped~

Oh... and this reminds me of this part in The Sworn Sword with Dunk:

Having three Wats in the company caused confusion when Bennis was trying to tell them what to do.

 

"We should give them village names, ser," Egg suggested, "like Ser Arlan of Pennytree, your old master." That might have worked, only their villages had no names, either. "Well," said Egg, "we could call them for their crops, ser." One village sat amongst bean fields, one planted mostly barleycorn, and the third cultivated rows of cabbages, carrots, onions, turnips, and melons. No one wanted to be a Cabbage or a Turnip, so the last lot became the Melons. They ended up with four Barleycorns, two Melons, and two Beans. As the brothers Wat were both Barleycorns, some further distinction was required. When the younger brother made mention of once having fallen down the village well, Bennis dubbed him "Wet Wat," and that was that. The men were thrilled to have been given "lord's names," save for Big Rob, who could not seem to remember whether he was a Bean or a Barleycorn.

[HexMachina]

7 hours ago, LordManderlyAsDragonRider said:

When Cersei asks Osney to sleep with Margeary, this exchange takes place:

“You are a wicked man,” the queen whispered, “and no true knight, I think.” She let him touch her breasts through the silk of her gown.

“Enough.”

“It isn’t. I want you.”

“You’ve had me.”

“Only once.”

He grabbed her left breast again and gave it a clumsy squeeze that reminded her of Robert.

“One good night for one good knight. You did me valiant service, and you had your reward.” Cersei walked her fingers up his laces.

 

So Osney had slept with Cersei before, and I'm assuming the "valiant service" was killing the High Septon. Although Osney's reluctance to lie to the High Septon makes me question of it was really him that did that.

As to why he had to sleep with Cersei again to make the "slept with a queen" true, I just don't know.. Maybe they Kettleblacks are even confusing themselves and they aren't sure who slept with Cersei

Oh, my mistake! Unsurprising tbh, I had them down as Kettlebacks for the longest time. Along with Boros Blout.*sigh* so inattentive 

4 hours ago, The Fattest Leech said:

Oh... and this reminds me of this part in The Sworn Sword with Dunk:

Having three Wats in the company caused confusion when Bennis was trying to tell them what to do.

 

"We should give them village names, ser," Egg suggested, "like Ser Arlan of Pennytree, your old master." That might have worked, only their villages had no names, either. "Well," said Egg, "we could call them for their crops, ser." One village sat amongst bean fields, one planted mostly barleycorn, and the third cultivated rows of cabbages, carrots, onions, turnips, and melons. No one wanted to be a Cabbage or a Turnip, so the last lot became the Melons. They ended up with four Barleycorns, two Melons, and two Beans. As the brothers Wat were both Barleycorns, some further distinction was required. When the younger brother made mention of once having fallen down the village well, Bennis dubbed him "Wet Wat," and that was that. The men were thrilled to have been given "lord's names," save for Big Rob, who could not seem to remember whether he was a Bean or a Barleycorn.

Iirc, there is a Barleycorn ends up on the Wall

[The Fattest Leech]

3 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Oh, my mistake! Unsurprising tbh, I had them down as Kettlebacks for the longest time. Along with Boros Blout.*sigh* so inattentive 

Iirc, there is a Barleycorn ends up on the Wall

Tom Barleycorn  Good catch. 

 

[Shuvuuia]

Ok, because I have to work today, I'm going to bitch about Tyrion: I don't like Tyrion but I'm also tired of Tyrion bashing. Even with show Tyrion, I think it sometimes crosses the line of calling out show bs and goes into mocking a disabled character. And with book Tyrion I'm actually surprised by some things I see, esp regarding his relationship with Sansa (and I don't like it in the books or on the show) because if other characters behaved like Tyrion, they would be hailed as heroic and romantic. 

[Crippledtank]

So finally picked up a copy of "a knightt of the seven kingdoms" and its freaking amazing, honestly i think i love it more than the asoiaf series! (Im sure ill love asoaif more once wow comes out)

All i could think about after was how great an asoiaf rpg be.

You could start as a hedge knight like dunk

Be the bastrd of the king/prince

Compete in tourneys

Be a man at arms during a rebellion

Join the NW or KG

This needs to happen, like yesterday.

[Shuvuuia]

2 hours ago, Crippledtank said:

So finally picked up a copy of "a knightt of the seven kingdoms" and its freaking amazing, honestly i think i love it more than the asoiaf series! (Im sure ill love asoaif more once wow comes out)

Yay! Join the club.

If the show was good, I would've wished for a little remark from Bloodraven about Dunk and Egg, or Daeron II, or Blackfyres...

[JonCon's Red Beard]

I can't believe they name their children Wat.

[The Fattest Leech]

7 hours ago, Crippledtank said:

So finally picked up a copy of "a knightt of the seven kingdoms" and its freaking amazing, honestly i think i love it more than the asoiaf series! (Im sure ill love asoaif more once wow comes out)

All i could think about after was how great an asoiaf rpg be.

You could start as a hedge knight like dunk

Be the bastrd of the king/prince

Compete in tourneys

Be a man at arms during a rebellion

Join the NW or KG

This needs to happen, like yesterday.

As Shuvuuia said WELCOME! 

Those stories are great. I have the big book and whatever graphic novels that are out and I have them on Audible to listen to (over and over).  Harry Lloyd does the narration and he is awesome. (His low voice gets a little too low to hear sometimes). 

And I hope to death that HBO and D&D keep away from these stories. 

[Crippledtank]

52 minutes ago, The Fattest Leech said:

As Shuvuuia said WELCOME! 

Those stories are great. I have the big book and whatever graphic novels that are out and I have them on Audible to listen to (over and over).  Harry Lloyd does the narration and he is awesome. (His low voice gets a little too low to hear sometimes). 

And I hope to death that HBO and D&D keep away from these stories. 

I second that. Although it would be hard to screw the story up i somehow think theyd ruin it.