Mme Erzulie Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 It is with great pleasure I present to you all: Erzulie the Unruly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 just how many name changes is this now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 I had a dream this morning about advertising celery ("Add some moral fibre to your diet!"). Damn you, Terry! *shakes fist* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angus Niven Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 I believe you also forgot pharmacist/alchemist. I think he's also an expert mathematician. While discussing those "representational designs involving lethality" he makes some references to algebra IIRC. A shorter list might be one of the shit that Richard is no good at. My intial attempt: - Small talk. - ???? (elementary logic and common sense, perhaps?) I've also been considering a list of all the properties the Sword of Truth has been seen to have. It: - Makes the user murderously angry. - Will cut through anything. - Makes a cool sound effect whenever it's drawn. - Can destroy spirits. - Will not harm anyone unless the user thinks they deserve it (since Richard thinks everyone deserves it, this is no longer an issue). - Can block Wizard's Fire. - Has an alternate setting that allows the wielder to kill out of love (!?). - Causes the wielder to think "Bringer of Death" at least once per sentence for no apparent reason. (And that's just from WFR!) - Is full of spirits of past wielders, who grant their skill to the current wielder and give kung-fu-movie-esque advice on occasion. (Makes me wonder what happens when two Seekers with entirely different fighting styles try to give advice at the same time - "There! Go on the offensive and batter down his parries with brute strength-" "No, no, NO, you stupid git! Work your way behind him and then hack his legs off-" "Shut up, that'll just expose him to those guys over there with spears!" "A true Seeker fears not such things!" "No wonder you weren't on the job long - hey, what happened to the owner? He's got all these sharp things sticking out of him..." "Damn, that's the third one this week. I wonder what we're doing wrong?") - Can conducts magic lightning that will destroy three-thousand-year-old magic barriers. The manufacturer makes no guarantee of performance against more modern barriers. - Will kill anyone travelling in the sliph with it. - Can put the wielder into a homicidal rage even from halfway across the world. - Will stop working in protest if the wielder gives in to such namby-pamby ideas as killing people being regrettable. - Will protect anyone touching it from the effect of a Chainfire spell. Did I miss anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 I believe it also doubles as a juice-o-matic. It slices, it dices, it juices, it's fifty tools in one! How much would you pay to own this amazing sword of truth? Don't answer yet, because if you order now..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 I know you have it as your sig Wolf Maid, but holy shit if that isn't the most sickening TG quote I have ever read. That whole Q&A was :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:, gah there are not enough emoticons to really cover it. I guess we know now why gang rape is such a recurring plot device in the series. Nach. It's okay. Let's spread the word on TG's, er, uh, I'm sorry, I can find no words to describe it. I still haven't dared read the entire Q&A. These quotes are more than I can stomach at the moment... I managed to scan through them. By the time I got on about magic I just...blanked out and like a computer, re-booted. And we shouldn't forget the most important thing that Richard is: - The author writing himself in the story. Yep. Gary Stu FTW! I think what I find most disturbing in that Q and A is that everyone in that board seems to accept and is okay with what he said. Even with the gang rape thing. For a moment there I felt my hope in humanity die a little. In any case, I think there might be hope still. I don't know if anyone posted this, but I have a link on a wank on Goodkind in good old Fandom_Wank in Journalfen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piper Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Tsk tsk, he forgot his own rule on contradictions: The magic in my books is treated as an existent — a thing that exists. . . . However, because magic is not real, it can’t really exist. So, by the first quote, he tries his hardest to give rules and substance to his magical system, because it is "a thing that exists," but then gets mad at fans for trying to figure out exactly what these rules are, because let's face it, "magic is not real." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Tsk tsk, he forgot his own rule on contradictions: So, by the first quote, he tries his hardest to give rules and substance to his magical system, because it is "a thing that exists," but then gets mad at fans for trying to figure out exactly what these rules are, because let's face it, "magic is not real." As MinDonner and Myshkin have said before me, continuity (and apparently consistency) isn't among Terry's strong points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 If Sam Raimi decides to film WIZARD’S FIRST RULE in New Zealand I promised him that if I had time between books I would go there. A wizard always keeps his promise. HA! It is true! He is writing himself into the story as Richard! I know some people in NZ. Maybe they can arrange something...lott aempty space in NZ you know... And this also begs the question: Has anyone tried to get to Sam Raimi and ask him what the hell he's thinking? And does he know what he'd be getting himself into? Someone send that man the returns from Eragon...that'll change his mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deluge Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 The theme of CHAINFIRE, for example, is belief in one's self. The plot is one man's struggle to prove what he believes to be true when everyone else thinks he is wrong. Do I even have to say it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Do I even have to say it? Yes. Yes you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deluge Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Actually, I originally read the quote as "one man's struggle to prove what he believes to be true and what everyone else thinks to be wrong." I still think it's funny, just much less so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dycedarg Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 My intial attempt: - Small talk. - ???? (elementary logic and common sense, perhaps?) - If Tairy didn't write so damn many deus ex machina that keep Richard from ever being wrong, I'd say 'The ability to admit when he's screwed up'. - Compassion - Humility - Reversing the polarity of the neutron flow. And... that's all I can think to add. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Monkey Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 As MinDonner and Myshkin have said before me, continuity (and apparently consistency) isn't among Terry's strong points. Neither is, you know, writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Neither is, you know, writing. Well, there is that, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 How would a TG interview conducted by any one of us go, I wonder...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 How would a TG interview conducted by any one of us go, I wonder...? It would get real ugly, real quick. Despite claiming that he hardly ever reads other authors (apart from Ayn Rand), he sure is judgemental about what other fantasists are apparently doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 How would a TG interview conducted by any one of us go, I wonder...? Q: You are a tool, are you not? A: No. I am not a tool. I am an implement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 It would get real ugly, real quick. Despite claiming that he hardly ever reads other authors (apart from Ayn Rand), he sure is judgemental about what other fantasists are apparently doing. Could it be done with a straight face though? Could it be done in such a way to get info we want to know, yet be damnning at the same time...? Has anyone ever interviewed the man who wasn't a disciple or a USA Today feature writer who wouldn't know which hard questions to ask anyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 more anagrams, just for S&G: Debt of bones = Best Fed Noob Stone of tears = Taste Of Snore Soul of the fire = Oh Feel Our Fist Naked empire = Meek Rand Pie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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