Be'lal Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 If there is a special thread to submit titles for Goodkind XXX, someone please move this. Also, sorry if it's already been brought up. Goodkind XXX: Gratch Luuurg Rach Ard All Night Long. EDIT: Why do I get the sinking feeling that there's already a title for XXX? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nex Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 GK XXXI: Wolf Maid's Avatar is WAY hotter than Klan: How's that for an important human theme? Agreed, that's really important human theme, anyone who disagrees is obviously choosing death Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ecchi-Oni Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Goodkind XXX: Putting Barbed Namble Cocks in hentai since date when WFR came out On an unrelated note my desktop died Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Goodkind XXX: Putting Barbed Namble Cocks in hentai since date when WFR came out On an unrelated note my desktop died Is it unrelated? Is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Goodkind XXX: Putting Barbed Namble Cocks in hentai since date when WFR came out On an unrelated note my desktop died Too much hentai, eh? Is it unrelated? Is it? I'm just saying I love your avatar. It's adorable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ecchi-Oni Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 It is unrelated since most of my porn is on the laptop And since I post here from the laptop it was not infected by the Yeard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I'm just saying I love your avatar. It's adorable. World's Cutest Stuffed Monkey. Loves bananas. And Life. As much as a stuffed monkey can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talyn Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I read that as there being single, signed pages placed inside books. Like he signed 13000 pages and mailed them to the bookstores. As in, loose pages, tucked into the books. I could see him doing that. Oh, and... As in too tired to give handjobs to his followers? Ha ha! I took it to mean that the signed pages were inserted when the books were bound together. and Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 It is unrelated since most of my porn is on the laptop And since I post here from the laptop it was not infected by the Yeard. Good for you. World's Cutest Stuffed Monkey. Loves bananas. And Life. As much as a stuffed monkey can. I just wanna cuddle it. *melts* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 On the topic of Tairy's Pay Me To Sign Your Book thing, this was based on Actual Events from around the time Phantom was published. Alas, there are now too many old GK threads to trawl through, but rest assured that Tairy DID charge his fans to come to his book-signing, which he only did in one place, so they also had to travel to go and see him. That's the caring sharing author that we've all come to know and love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deornoth Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I never knew he did this... Way to treat his fans... Did he rip out people's spines for being stupid enough to go along with this? Or was this some kind of yeardy test? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muttering Bill Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I read that as there being single, signed pages placed inside books. Like he signed 13000 pages and mailed them to the bookstores. As in, loose pages, tucked into the books. I could see him doing that. Hey, I've got a signed copy of TotW! Not that it does anything. The book doesn't suck any less for it. I'm sure it's not worth anything. Unless... if the Yeardites are willing to pay to see him, maybe I can get a few bucks for it... GK XXXI: Wolf Maid's Avatar is WAY hotter than Klan: How's that for an important human theme? Yeah, that was better. I know, mine wasn't that good, but it was the best I could come up with at the time. I'm not very good at titles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Pita, don't try to understand the books of the yeard. They are best appreciated with a liberal dose of suspension of disbelief. Like, of course the Iraq war is being won over with firm handshakes and apple pie suspension of disbelief. Trying to understand them will just get you hurt. And yeah, Tairy's version of love is freaky, disturbing and kinda pathetic. Am I seriously that hated? I thought Mytard hated me, am I hated by the rest as well? That actually kinda hurts my feelings. My annoyance was not just the version of love, it was how often "true love" becomes "fuck you". And I hold the theory that they're mostly Mytardzombies, but they probably hate you less because they never confronted you... I've passed WLU on the evil list, then... The only one left to defeat, now, is Myshkin. THEN I WILL BE GOD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dycedarg Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Ha! I watched NGE a couple years ago and therefore got all the jokes. I win at life. We already knew that you win at life. Still, part deux has a few jokes that touch on the lamentable state of certain parts of the fanbase. If you can get all of them as well, you'll win at uber-life too. Not getting them won't disqualify you from winning life at since only people with no lives actually spend time in fanfic land. Yes, I did just admit that I have no life. In any case, the second part of my parody was ready yesterday but my internet connection appears to have been infected by the Eleventh Angel Chicken so it's taken me longer to get it up than I expected. Behold, the second half of the parody. Namble Genesis Truthelion 01:2 Chicken Attack Warren watched Commander Zedd watch the monitor. Being second in command wasn't really all it was cracked up to be. Lots of standing around and doing nothing while his boss got to do all the fun stuff. He heard a voice on the intercom say that Major Katsuragi had finally arrived with the Third Seeker. Zedd turned to him. "I'll leave matters to you." Then the Commander strode off, imperturbable as always. 'Their first meeting in years' Warren thought. On the monitor, he could see that the Chicken was approaching the perimeter of the city. He looked down at the bridge technicians and began issuing orders. The long-haired one and the one with glasses were quick to obey. They probably had names but Warren had never bothered learning them. *** The motion indicator continued to click as the elevator descended deeper into the underground base. While watching the device, Richard thought over the wonders he had just witnessed in Midlands-3. A gigantic underground cavern blooming with life and light, an entire city under the earth, huge rooms full of machinery and giant walkways that must have been designed purely to look cool. Unfortunately he didn't have time to gaze in wonder because he had to keep up with Nicci's rapid pace. She kept muttering something about being behind schedule. What did he care for her schedule? Suddenly, their elevator reached its destination. Nicci strode towards the opening door, only to stop in her tracks when she realized a woman was standing behind it, waiting. "You sure took your time. Don't you realize this is an emergency?!" The speaker was Doctor Cara Akagi, head scientist of D'HARA. She wore her lab coat over a tight red leather outfit which accentuated her generous assets. A zipper ran down the front, fastened at the top with a pullring. No one on the base dared comment on that ring, much less attempted to pull it down. The older workers whispered of an intern named Deejay Krapt who had tried to do just that, once. It was said his screams echoed through the halls of the base for a week. At the moment, she looked most unhappy. Nicci attempted to diffuse the tension. "Ahaha, sorry. I'm still getting used to the layout of the base." "Oh fine. Come along, I'll punish you later." "(Mumble mumble mumble)" "What did you say?" "I said 'Yes Mistress'" *** Cara led the group into a darkened room. Richard's mind had wandered as Cara spoke of numbers and ratios and things that were probably meaningless but once he realized he was in the dark, his unmatched intellect began working again. Maybe his father had brought him here for a surprise party? All of a sudden, someone flipped a light switch. Richard found a pair of giant golden eyes staring back at him. He fell over backwards in surprise. "Hehe, got you! What do you think?". As Nicci spoke, Richard stood up and for once in his life, he was speechless. In front of him was a gigantic head formed in a rather capric shape, with two horns rising out from the back of the skull. Looking down, Richard could see the shape extend far down below him. The giant's body was white and if Richard was any judge, fleecy. It was, he thought, the most noble thing he had ever seen in his life. As he stared in awe, Cara began to speak again. "Like it? This is Truthelion Unit-01, mankind's last hope in the battle with the Chickens." "Did father build this?" "That's right." Looking up, Richard could see an observation window above and behind the noble giant. Standing at that window, smirking, was the father he hadn't seen in years. "It's been a long time Richard." "Why did you bring me here, father?" Ignoring him, Zedd spoke to the women. "Prepare Unit-01 for launch. Richard will pilot it." "What?! Father, what are you saying? Why?" "Because you have been identified as one of the Seekers, the only ones who can control a Truthelion. The Marduk Institute report also indicated that you possess the rare Garystu gene. You will become a pilot; it is your destiny." *** On the surface, Namble strode through the deserted streets of Midlands-3. The Yeard was close now, it could feel it in its bones. Well, if it had bones, which it didn't. All it had to do now was find a way down. Raising its arm, it pointed at a section of pavement. Immediately, an explosion vaporized the concrete and a large chunk of the earth underneath, penetrating several layers of the armor concealed under the surface. The energy from the explosion was then forced skyward into a column, long and straight until the end where excess energy bled off diagonally downward, forming twin barbs. *** Below, the room shook. Zedd looked upward for a second, his smirk briefly replaced by concern. "We have no time left. Prepare Richard to pilot the Truthelion" While the women argued over technical details, his son just stood there like a wayward pine, staring into space. "Richard, why are you standing there? Get ready." His son finally looked up. "No." "What did you say?" "I sad no. You're trying to tell me what to do. That's telling me I should live my life the way you want me to live. It's obstructing my right to choose Life and decide my own destiny. You say that I'm special? You're right that I'm special. I know the Truth and soon, everyone here will know it too. They will join me in choosing Life or they will follow your orders like the lemmings they are and choose Death." "Richard, shut up. Doctor, if you would?" "I'm not done yet! By virtue of my understanding of the Truth I-" Richard's pontificating was cut short by Cara's sharp blow to the back of his skull. "Thank you Doctor. Now Richard, I'll only say this once. Pilot the Truthelion" "No." 'Damn brats these days.' Zedd thought. An inspiration struck him and he activated his radio. "Warren, our new pilot is useless. Wake Kahlan." "Are you sure? After that incident-" "She hasn't been raped yet." Rubbing the back of his head, Richard mused darkly on all the things he was going to do to his father. He hated the old man, always trying to make him do things he didn't want to. Well, he'd never make Richard do anything again. He strode back towards the door but stopped when it opened in advance of him and a girl on a stretcher was wheeled through. It was the same girl he had seen earlier, only now she was wearing a skintight white bodysuit with artistically arranged bandages around her head and arms. Now that he was closer to her, Richard couldn't help but notice that she was racked for a fourteen year old. His thing began to rise once more. As she was rolled past, Richard looked into her eyes. They were trusting eyes he thought, intelligent and especially kind eyes. As she went by, Richard saw her smile, a special smile only for him. Or maybe it was a wince of pain, either way was ok as far as he was concerned. The medics stopped and the girl sat up, breathing heavily. *** In the streets, the Chicken was practically quivering with anticipation. Only a little more and it would be through the armor. Then, it could become one with the Yeard. It fired once more, and the enormous shaft of energy the residents of Midlands-3 would come to call Namble's Cock rose skywards once more. *** The room trembled as the hellish energies being wielded above vented themselves upon the earth. The pale-haired girl was thrown out of the stretcher and landed hard on the floor, her bosom heaving as she took deep, gasping breaths and moaned as if she was in pain. Richard ran over to her and grabbed her, noticing that as he did, her moans grew in intensity. Richard surmised that she might be in pain. Their eyes locked again and he felt something: A bond between them, something stronger than even the Truth. It was the Plot. Zedd's voice broke the magic of the moment. "Son, if you don't get your ass into that machine, I'll make her pilot it. She's in no condition to so much as sit up so it will be certain death and it will be your fault for being a stuck up little bitch and I'll never let you forget it." Now Richard had to decide. "Mustn't choose Death. Mustn't choose Death. Mustn't choose Death. Mustn't choose Death. Mustn't choose Death. Mustn't choose Death." "Did I mention that she'll be your co-worker if you say yes?" "... Alright, I'll pilot it." *** The group, minus Richard, reconvened in the control room. Cara's assistant Maya was already there, giving Richard last minute instructions prior to activation. The scientist reached for a microphone. "Richard, how are you doing?" "Fine I guess, aside from this Agiel thing. It's kind of... uncomfortable." "It's absolutely required to synchronize your body with the Truthelion. Stop complaining, the burning feeling will go away in a while." Cara then leaned over Maya's shoulder to press a button on the console. As she straightened up, she whispered something into the younger woman's ear which caused her face to turn bright red. Nicci shot the scientist a disapproving look. Over the intercom, Richard's panicky voice could be heard. "Eeeewwww, what is this stuff filling the cockpit?!" "That's LCL, it does all sorts of important things I can't be bothered to explain right now." "It's really gross, just so you know." "Did I mention it's made from the blood of slain enemies?" "Really, in that case I guess it's ok." Maya began running down the activation checklist. "Nerve connections, all green. RBL pulled. Ego borderline thingy whatsis looking good. Synch ratio... 399.99 percent?" Cara leaned over Maya's shoulder again, this time so quickly that her chest brushed the woman's face in the process. Maya didn't seem to mind much. "399.99%?! That really is incredible." "Yes, of course he's that good..." Nicci commented, a touch of bitterness in her voice. "Did you say something Major?" "Never mind." *** Within minutes, the technobabble was over and the Truthelion moved to its launch platform. In the corner of the hangar, a technician was recording the scene so it could be used again and again. Nicci turned to Commander Zedd, who looked at the readouts and then nodded. She then turned back to the others. "Truthelion, launch!" The final restraints were released and the giant machine rocketed towards the surface at speeds well in excess of fast. *** Hearing a sound, Namble turned. A hole in the street was opening behind it. Suddenly, a gigantic shape emerged. Woolen white armor and horns... the natural enemy of the Chickens, given form. Truthelion Unit-01 faced down Namble. In the mecha's cockpit, Richard stared at the Chicken with a raptor-like gaze. Watching all this on a monitor far below in the safety of headquarters, Nicci whispered a prayer. "Richard, don't get raped." To Be Continued... Chickens, the mysterious invaders who threaten mankind. Truthelion, the only thing that can stop them. In the streets of Midlands-3, Richard fights for his life. What will awaken on this fated day? And what of the mysterious Kahlan? Next time on Namble Genesis Truthelion: An Odd Looking Ceiling/Bringer of Death. Of course, there'll be lots of Important Human Themes too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 No you don't. Foxtrot is no longer a daily. You can't read it that much. Before commenting, I'll briefly allow you to contemplate the past participle of 'to read'. This could be a possible winner. Though I think those that missed the silhouette one should see it first before deciding on XXXI for certian...heh... I missed the silhouette avatar. This saddens me 'cause everyone keeps talking about it. Though the current one looks really friendly. Agreed, that's really important human theme, anyone who disagrees is obviously choosing death I think even Yeardi von Namblecock would agree that big-titted avatars are important human themes. Goodkind XXX: Putting Barbed Namble Cocks in hentai since date when WFR came out August, 1994 On an unrelated note my desktop died Fixed. My desktop's fan is currently making unpleasant grinding noises, you have my sympathy. Fortunately my piece of shit Mac laptop is my internet computer, so pornography, wikipedia and internet-based Tairy-bashing are still options. Huzzah! I never knew he did this... Way to treat his fans... Did he rip out people's spines for being stupid enough to go along with this? Or was this some kind of yeardy test? I can't be bothered to find the thread, but I do remember this being raised a while back. And just finishing the books is test enough; if you can pass that, you are eligible for yeard-wrapped handjobs and important human-themed reacharounds. Goodkind XXX - Always a pitcher, never a catcher: The other reason it hurts to sit down. And I hold the theory that they're mostly Mytardzombies, but they probably hate you less because they never confronted you... I've passed WLU on the evil list, then... The only one left to defeat, now, is Myshkin. THEN I WILL BE GOD. Is there an acutal list? Link please. How did Myshkin get so high? We already knew that you win at life. Still, part deux has a few jokes that touch on the lamentable state of certain parts of the fanbase. If you can get all of them as well, you'll win at uber-life too. Not getting them won't disqualify you from winning life at since only people with no lives actually spend time in fanfic land. Yes, I did just admit that I have no life. C'mon, we all know that none of us have lives. We spend all of our time in our parents basement, plotting, praying and composing ways of making the Yeard look bad. Since he is such a genius, it naturally takes us hours and hours. Personally, I've spent entire weeks sleepless, drinking coffee and thumbing through my thesaurus, desperately trying to find a way to feel better about myself by bringing down the greatest hero that has ever lived - Terry Goodkind. It brings meaning to my soul the way America brings freedom to Iraq. I'm about halfway through the second half of the parody and it has made me chuckle. Now I've got stuff to do, I'll finish it later. You may have no life Dyce, but you write funny anime-SOT crossover parodies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 A not-quite-hypothetical question: Would you read a book that has this as a blurb: "Wonderfully captivating...a truly enjoyable read." - Terry Goodkind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nex Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 @ Dylanfanatic: I would, just to see what the hell is Yeard reading. I thought he reads only Ayn Rand... or is he saying that just to hide from which books he stole things? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 A not-quite-hypothetical question: Would you read a book that has this as a blurb: Let me guess the book: This one? Perhaps this series? I know it's not this one. Actually, knowing the source it must be an old blurb for this one since imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Is it bad that I'm amused that Link #3 takes 300 pages to explain "how good" it can be? Actually, the book is called The High King's Tomb by Kristen Britain. But I don't know if it's fantasy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 I wonder how the author feels about a recommendation from such a hack. If I were her I'd be afraid I'd end up on the bestsellers list for morons. Just for us lemmings, I'm suggesting a "Sigging Mystar" week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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