Sophelia Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 The Guardian newspaper is inviting readers to vote on which they think should win the bad sex award this year. So which would you vote? My thoughts: I think they're a little disappointing as bad sex award candidates (no.3 is geek humour, 2 is just boring, 8 doesn't stand out in anyway), however some of them do have a bit of that classic bad sex groanworthiness... No. 4 retrieves itself in the last sentence, which leaves it as a contender, similarly to no. 6 (though the last sentence in 5 is just bad writing, that in 6 is more disturbing)No. 5 gets close...um... but never quite fulfils its promise (not memorably bad enough) ditto no. 1Has to be no. 7 for me. Ugh. Edit: after Kat's comment I realised I'd got 1 and 2 merged - oops Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datepalm Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Someone appears to be getting dismembered in 5. 1-4 are just bad writing. (3 is even sort of ok, or at least has a touch of humor.) The last sentence of 6 is...um... yeah, it's 7. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 I voted for #1. Too many body parts no one wants to think about during sex. Is she a biologist or something? Also, who picks Woody Guthrie as a pen name? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterbound Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Tobacco and Chocolate? Sign me up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dietl Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Mhmmm...chocolate. I don't like it quite as bitter, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biter Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Also, who picks Woody Guthrie as a pen name? No one, as far as I know. Guthrie wrote it in 1947, but apparently couldn't find a publisher for it during his lifetime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorshach Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Certainly 7. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sci-2 Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Guthrie saw cocks that have hair on the shaft? Not to mention pimples large enough for a woman to feel? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dietl Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 I vote for 1. I don't know why you all are for 7, I think it's a charming little piece of literature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearbert Dondarrion Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 5 for me. Who thinks neuromuscular euphoria while having sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isalie Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Tobacco and Chocolate? Sign me up. :rofl: I don't know about worst but 7 was funniest by far. Most of them were simply awkward, someone should've just told them to fade to black. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 No one, as far as I know. Guthrie wrote it in 1947, but apparently couldn't find a publisher for it during his lifetime. What in the...? I'm going to pretend like I never knew this fact and go back to believing Guthrie couldn't have possibly written something this bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sci-2 Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 I vote for 1. I don't know why you all are for 7, I think it's a charming little piece of literature. I think it's the tasting of finger post butt, ah, fingering. Not everyone finds a Bakkerian honeyed anus appealing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanF Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 7, definitely.BTW, which is the book that has the line, "plough me with your hoe. Fertilise me with your seed?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hereward Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 The Hobbit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isalie Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 The Hobbit? So that's what The Desolation of Smaug means. I knew he was feisty, but I never knew in what way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goodbye World Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Definitely 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borque Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 They are all bad, but number 7 clearly should win this. Honorary mention to number 3, with the rejoicing statisticians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Usotsuki Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 7, definitely.BTW, which is the book that has the line, "plough me with your hoe. Fertilise me with your seed?" I think it's from the unexpurgated version of Alan Titchmarsh's autobiography. I rather liked number four, it seemed deliberately disconcerting rather than accidentally atrocious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacuna Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 7, definitely.BTW, which is the book that has the line, "plough me with your hoe. Fertilise me with your seed?" They couldn't work tractors in there as well? What a wasted opportunity... Anyway, I think it's number 5 and neuromuscular euphorias and vas deferenses for me. But number 7 is neck and neck. A peasant saying, indeed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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