Yukle

So have we as a couple become too couple-y?

58 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Have you met Hereward's orcs kids? Those fuckers will make you run up and down a muddy riverbank for fun, then gut you for the last Yorkshire pudding!

Edited by Xray the Enforcer

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I have shared clothes (as in also looked in an SO's drawer for something to wear when I can't find mine).  That's not weird.  Best thing about a new girlfriend is more party dresses and the chance that there's a clean bra on Friday.  

I couldn't share a social media or email account.  I handle way too much stuff through there.  I know couples that do and it's mostly one person who uses it, but passes messages to the other if they come through.  Most of those couples got a fb or twitter to keep an eye on children, initially.  

I draw the line at a bank account.  No.  Everyone should have some financial privacy.  

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On 3/14/2017 at 8:38 AM, Tywin et al. said:

Pfft! Every man knows that once your woman has borrowed your sweatshirt she now owns it. 

Damn straight.

On 3/14/2017 at 3:50 AM, Inigima said:

I mostly see older people sharing an email account. I personally think that's weird, but if it works for you, I don't see why it matters. 

 

On 3/14/2017 at 1:04 AM, Dr. Pepper said:

I have to admit that I'm always leery of those who share emails or social media accounts because the only people I know who do that are either in an abusive relationship or have serious trust and codependency issues.  Assuming this isn't going on here, my question is what's the point?  Also, how long have you been together?  I've had my current main email for like 13 years, or however long gmail has existed.  Before that I had my email for something like 10 years.

It sort of began by accident, really. He shut down his Facebook after disuse. To be honest I don't use mine a great deal either, but it's handy for organising events. When I say we share it, mostly it's just we'll log on to reply to event invitations. I've kept my account, his is now in the dark despairs of Facebook's archives, to be owned forever.

Emails are the same: to make things easy we'd always use his email address when signing up to stuff, especially with banking. And for family events we get people to email him. And then sometime about... five years ago? ... I realised I hadn't even logged into my own account for aaaaaaages. So I just use his. :D 

Besides, there's always texting for surprises and privacy. Except for those hilarious moments when he forgets that his iPad, which I always use (duh) is connected to his messages. So more than once I have been watching Netflix only to have some notifications go off at the top all about the sexy temptresses he is meeting. Okay, that last part I made up, he is always texting his mates about non-fiction books they've read but that makes him sound so incredibly boring.

22 hours ago, Xray the Enforcer said:

Reams of internet data have shown that if you have to ask a question like this, the answer is always "yes." 

https://safr.kingfeatures.com/idn/cnfeed/zone/js/content.php?file=aHR0cDovL3NhZnIua2luZ2ZlYXR1cmVzLmNvbS9aaXRzLzIwMDUvMDIvWml0cy4yMDA1MDIxN185MDAuZ2lm

This was pretty much us at uni. :P

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19 hours ago, Lily Valley said:

I have shared clothes (as in also looked in an SO's drawer for something to wear when I can't find mine).  That's not weird.  Best thing about a new girlfriend is more party dresses and the chance that there's a clean bra on Friday.

For some reason my husband won't share his bras and party dresses. Lame.

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40 minutes ago, Yukle said:

For some reason my husband won't share his bras and party dresses. Lame.

time to get rid of the bum

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On 3/14/2017 at 0:02 AM, Datepalm said:

Separate your social media accounts at once, else how can people be expected to gossip about one of you with the other and keep the evidence for shameful scandals down the line when one of you decided to run for office?

Hahahaha!

Although the way things are going I think we need far more scandals to hold office. ;) 

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None of what you mentioned in the OP is beyond anything I've shared with past live-in girlfriends, so it certainly shouldn't be too weird for a married couple from my perspective.  I suppose the social media thing is weird for most people, so as a disclaimer this is coming from a guy who was signed up for facebook unwillingly by his college roommate in 2004 - and now shares a profile with his roommate brother.  The only thing you mentioned that would bother me is the socks.  But that's cuz I'm weirdly into always having a fresh pair of socks.  Only other hang-ups I've had sharing with exes in the past is toothbrush and deodorant.  Those were out of bounds even during my dirty hippy phase.

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31 minutes ago, dmc515 said:

 The only thing you mentioned that would bother me is the socks.  But that's cuz I'm weirdly into always having a fresh pair of socks.  Only other hang-ups I've had sharing with exes in the past is toothbrush and deodorant.

Just to clarify, we do wash the socks between wearing. Our feet are sort of the same size; it helps that he's short.

Sharing a toothbrush is... strange. Which I know is hypocritical coming from me.

8 hours ago, Xray the Enforcer said:

time to get rid of the bum

I first read this without the context in my mind and thought you were saying my bum is too big. :P

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Posted (edited)

On 3/13/2017 at 11:50 PM, Filippa Eilhart said:

How do you share the medicare card if it has the other person's name on it?

Oh yeah, by that I mean that you can combine cards.

In Australia children and dependents go onto their carer's/guardian's card. If you like, a spouse can go onto the same card, too, but it's not mandatory. By default, even a married couple will not be automatically combined and will remain with two separate numbers and cards.

Combining cards is handy if you both want to take kids to the doctor, or to take each other, without needing another card. One person terminates their separate Medicare details and combines to the other so they're shared from now on.

That said, of my two siblings who are also married (not to each other, we're not Lannisters), one has not bothered to combine cards and one has.

Edited by Yukle

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3 minutes ago, Yukle said:

Just to clarify, we do wash the socks between wearing. Our feet are sort of the same size; it helps that he's short.

Sharing a toothbrush is... strange. Which I know is hypocritical coming from me.

Yeah, even with washing the socks that'd still bother me.  But that's my hangup.

Honestly, I've never actually experienced sharing of a toothbrush - I was more referencing a Seinfeld episode there.  But I have had multiple exes use my deodorant before, and I'm not cool with that.

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38 minutes ago, dmc515 said:

Yeah, even with washing the socks that'd still bother me.  But that's my hangup.

Honestly, I've never actually experienced sharing of a toothbrush - I was more referencing a Seinfeld episode there.  But I have had multiple exes use my deodorant before, and I'm not cool with that.

Wow. Ok. What is so precious about YOUR deodorant that it cannot be shared? I mean, we have our own but if one person runs out then we share until it is replaced. Or going away for a night or two and travelling light we share that type of thing (shower gel, toothpaste, deodorant), what's the point of taking two of everything?

I'll only share a toothbrush if I have forgotten mine - never on purpose.

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2 minutes ago, Isis said:

Wow. Ok. What is so precious about YOUR deodorant that it cannot be shared? I mean, we have our own but if one person runs out then we share until it is replaced. Or going away for a night or two and travelling light we share that type of thing (shower gel, toothpaste, deodorant), what's the point of taking two of everything?

I'll only share a toothbrush if I have forgotten mine - never on purpose.

I dunno, sharing deodorant just grosses me out.  Always was fair about it - never used her deodorant.  Don't see what's so offensive about preferring to keep armpit cleaners individualized.  :dunno:

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2 minutes ago, dmc515 said:

I dunno, sharing deodorant just grosses me out.  Always was fair about it - never used her deodorant.  Don't see what's so offensive about preferring to keep armpit cleaners individualized.  :dunno:

My deodorant is really flowery smelling. I know he'd prefer BO to the smell of mine.

I, however, disagree. As does anybody with a functioning olfactory bulb.

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37 minutes ago, Yukle said:

My deodorant is really flowery smelling. I know he'd prefer BO to the smell of mine.

I, however, disagree. As does anybody with a functioning olfactory bulb.

LOL, fair enough.  Points for making me google olfactory bulb.

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4 hours ago, Yukle said:

My deodorant is really flowery smelling. I know he'd prefer BO to the smell of mine.

I, however, disagree. As does anybody with a functioning olfactory bulb.

I always get the plainest deodorant possible so it's no bother to share. On the occasions that I bother to wear any perfume I wouldn't want it to clash with my deodorant.

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9 minutes ago, Isis said:

I always get the plainest deodorant possible so it's no bother to share. On the occasions that I bother to wear any perfume I wouldn't want it to clash with my deodorant.

Side note from someone who never has to share deodorant (single): I always get unscented deodorant and for some inexplicable reason, this is shelved, labeled and marketed as a women's product. You literally can't find men's unscented deodorant. Why is smelling like nothing a feminine thing? (Not that it bothers me to buy women's products. They have all the nice-smelling shower gels too.)

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6 hours ago, dmc515 said:

I dunno, sharing deodorant just grosses me out.  Always was fair about it - never used her deodorant.  Don't see what's so offensive about preferring to keep armpit cleaners individualized.  :dunno:

"Individualized armpit cleaners"   :rofl:  I've been sniggering for 10 minutes.  I'm not that fastidious.  Have shared a toothbrush when I have forgotten my own.  I ask first because I know some people are upset by it.  I'm not with a person I date.  

Yukle, I'm going to giggle about X-ray stealing your bum All.  Day.  Long.

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I always have lots of back up toothbrushes.  If I even suspect someone touched my toothbrush, I will toss it.  So gross.

But I also think things like kissing is gross, too.  I don't even share that with my partner all that much. She goes to kiss other people to fulfill whatever need that is.  

 

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Yeah, you're fine

My wife and I have separate Email and Facebook accounts, but really, my Facebook account is ours, people know if they want to get a hold of her to usually contact me.  Her email handles all the financial affairs.  Same with our cell phones, we share a data plan each with our own phone, but if people want to get a hold of either one of us they tend to call her because she never answers the thing.

My wife borrows my clothes all the time, especially when cleaning stuff, doing yard work, or it is a particularly cold day.

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8 hours ago, dmc515 said:

Yeah, even with washing the socks that'd still bother me.  But that's my hangup.

Honestly, I've never actually experienced sharing of a toothbrush - I was more referencing a Seinfeld episode there.  But I have had multiple exes use my deodorant before, and I'm not cool with that.

My husband used my deodorant this morning.  His ran out yesterday and we didn't venture into the snow to buy more.  Mine is cucumber scented.  We'd all rather this happen than the alternative.  Given that we swap various bodily fluids, him rubbing his newly showered armpits with my deodorant seems relatively tame.

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