Sniffing Sister's and Mother's Panties

[Eponine]

Seems a couple female boarders here have already stated that they would feel very violated if they knew a family member was doing this with their panties, so...

And quite a few people here, including the OP, have also stated that they feel it's an invasion of privacy, a violation of trust, crossing boudaries, etc, so I doubt I'm coming out of left field with thinking it's inherently wrong (Or as you liked to marginalize it, "It's just icky").

As a female boarder who stated that I would feel violated if I knew a family member was smelling my underwear, I want to clarify that I do not think that it's inherently wrong.

What I do think is that it's the father's responsibility to preserve his daughter's privacy as well as helping his son to understand his sexual identity. If the brother and sister were both consenting adults with full disclosure of the behavior, while I might personally find it "icky", I would consider it their business and their decision. It's a different situation with a minor who has practically no choice but to live at home with the son.

But it sounds like if the account of the mother's abusive behavior is true, there are things going on in the family that are far more important to deal with.

[mcbigski]

...,it's just a matter of him wanting female stimulation.

Hey, who doesn't?

[peterbound]

I still can't believe people come on here and post this shit.

[Spastic Plastic]

I've known you for 10 minutes, but have already decided that I don't like you, Old Nan.

I don't think anyone does. Not even Old Nan himself.

Cantabile, I think your son did the right thing not to involve the sister. But there's far more urgent issues here than a kid jerking off in his mom's panties, that's the least of the problems in that family. You need to help your son to stand up for himself.

[Analu]

As a female boarder who stated that I would feel violated if I knew a family member was smelling my underwear, I want to clarify that I do not think that it's inherently wrong.

What I do think is that it's the father's responsibility to preserve his daughter's privacy as well as helping his son to understand his sexual identity. If the brother and sister were both consenting adults with full disclosure of the behavior, while I might personally find it "icky", I would consider it their business and their decision. It's a different situation with a minor who has practically no choice but to live at home with the son.

Well, my intent wasn't to lump you (or any other female boarder that felt it was a violation) into the same group as me. But I agree with what you say.

And I don't know. I've been thinking about it all thru dinner, and maybe it's not quite as evil/horrible as I made it out to be, and "inherently wrong" was not the right choice of words to use. Initially, I was just so shocked to read it, because it never even occurred to me to do something like that when I was a kid (and I grew up in a household that outnumbered me 5 to 1 in gender, so I would've had plenty of opportunities).

Trying to think outside of my usual narrow scope, I suppose I can see why some would think it's normal to do that with your mom's panties, with the whole Oedipus complex and whatever else pertains to mom/son attraction. But with his sister too? I feel that's a giant violation of trust between siblings. I'm really close with my sisters, and can just imagine the feeling of disgust on their faces if they ever caught me doing something like that with their panties. Our relationship would never have been the same.

I don't think anyone does. Not even Old Nan himself.

Isn't Old Nan a girl? Or is that another one of his wordplay things?

Anyhow, now we're gonna be late for the movie and I'm getting yelled at, so might try to check on this later tonight for further discussion, but most likely not until Monday.

[Darkostar]

Trying to think outside of my usual narrow scope, I suppose I can see why some would think it's normal to do that with your mom's panties, with the whole Oedipus complex and whatever else pertains to mom/son attraction. But with his sister too? I feel that's a giant violation of trust between siblings.

I think you're lumping two fetishes together. The reason for sniffing the panties could indeed be an incest kink, but more than likely they're the only panties that are around to sniff. :lol: Probably has nothing to do with them belonging to the mom and sis.

The panty sniffing thing, though, may very well stem from having a domineering mother. It's very prominent in asian cultures, where there's a weird duality of absolute female worship (their porn involves as much pleasing the woman as the dude, unlike western porn) and complete and utter objectification of them. From what I've seen in terms of japanese dudes who are INTO hentai and whatnot, there seems to be a need to want something inaccessible, and your grandson's mom sounds like she's making women feel inaccessible to him via her actions. That, or he WANTS her, and feels like she's inaccessible. My money's on the former, though.

[smegma]

As a female boarder who stated that I would feel violated if I knew a family member was smelling my underwear, I want to clarify that I do not think that it's inherently wrong.

What I do think is that it's the father's responsibility to preserve his daughter's privacy as well as helping his son to understand his sexual identity. If the brother and sister were both consenting adults with full disclosure of the behavior, while I might personally find it "icky", I would consider it their business and their decision. It's a different situation with a minor who has practically no choice but to live at home with the son.

But it sounds like if the account of the mother's abusive behavior is true, there are things going on in the family that are far more important to deal with.

Yeah I don't think it's a GOOD thing that he does that, as it's violating the sister and mom's privacy and the kid should learn that is why it's wrong, not that he is compelled to do so.

Poor kid.

[Old Nan]

Yeah I don't think it's a GOOD thing that he does that, as it's violating the sister and mom's privacy and the kid should learn that is why it's wrong, not that he is compelled to do so.

Well, that could have been done in three sentences and avoided what seems to be a major family catastrophe. "Hey son, you can't keep jerking off into other people's panties. They're their panties, not yours, and even though the government has the right to go through our garbage cans, you do not have the right to paw through the hamper and play with their clothes, because they deserve their own privacy. And speaking of privacy, if you want to watch that creepy cartoon porn, make sure I don't find any evidence of it, much less your mother, because she'll try to send you to a shrink, and you'll end up on mood stabilizers that'll cost us hundreds of dollars a month and make you grow boobs and unable to get it up at all. OK, carry on, consider yourself as having had 'The Talk.'"

[Zap Rowsdower]

Impassive, marmoreal as I survey the tempest, the merest flicker of light reflected from my eyes is the only thing that might more or less suggest emotion. And perhaps it is less rather than more.

From where it hangs over my chest, suspended by a string, I bring a whistle to my lips. The whistle is made of wood. It is old and covered in scratches and dust. But beneath the imperfections one can detect myriad symbols of indeterminate origins.

At first the sound that issues forth brings to mind the sad honking of a kazoo rather than an actual whistle. But as the sound mounts in volume and intensity it segues into the buzzing innumerable flies, the droning, the buzzing of swarms of locusts. There are wolves howling and primates shrieking. Panthers and lions and tigers and bears growling, oh my, and also a very human cry of pain. The sound is made up of all sounds and is therefore a simulacrum of reality. When the sound is overlaid across creation it renders its originator invisible within the clangor.

I part the vines and branches and step back into the jungle most wild, concealed within the noise, and in turn concealing my dismay. I disappear. I fade away.

And the nature of complete concealment is to cease to exist. To further this end I forget and misremember what is was that first made me flee.

I was not not here.

No, certainly not me.

I was not here and I never read what I just read.

Goodnight. And God bless America.

[TrueMetis]

First of on the Hentai thing, Yuna is hot so I can understand that.

Second as a 17 year old male I feel really bad for this kid, never did the panty sniffing but did have an incident involving barbies that my mom found about so I can relate.

As for "the Talk" probably should have been done a while ago, but then I remember a quick sex ed course when I was in like 2nd grade so my expectations maybe different.

Although at the end of it the kid seems to have more of a problem with his mom than anything to do with sex.

[Ormond Snow]

I feel inclined to post even though I normally just lurk.

Where to start, where to start...

When I was younger, lets say age 11-14, I felt compelled to crossdress. Maybe it had something to do with interest in the opposite sexe or maybe not. From my current viewpoint the answer would be yes but back then I had little interest in sex even at 14; although, that does not mean I was not interested in girls. I will say, "if I had longer hair I'd look pretty in these clothes", crossed my mind at one point.

To crossdress you need clothes and needless to say I could not use my own that would never work so I took my mother's. There isn't really much to say other than I got caught. Now, I was not caught in the act--I made sure no one else was in the house when I did dress up--but I was stupid enough that I did not always put the clothes back. This probably gave my parents some time to mull over how to handle the situation. How did I feel at the time? I don't recall. I was definitely embarrassed and I did not want anyone (else) to find out about my hobby. My mother, god bless her, said, "if you want to wear the clothes that's fine but you have to ask first", or something along those lines. There was probably a bit more to the lecture but that is what I remember.

Now where was I going with this? I have no clue. Other boarders have covered the advice portion pretty well. A gentle but firm talk about the situation will suffice. Definitely do not involve siblings under any circumstances. Having your parents find out is not so bad (maybe not in this case) but siblings are a different matter entirely.

I hope this helps. Otherwise, I just told an embarrassing story for no particular reason.

[Spoony]

I would have used the telling of the mother as leverage to make the kid stop, after the sex talk, which probably should have happened a while back.

I don't think Cantabile should talk to his grandson about this.

I think Cantabile should get Darkostar to talk to his grandson. That guy seems to be on the dot on this whole business.

Maybe we should all have Darkostar on speed dial.

But Old Nan charmed me with this bit.

I like it.

"Hey son, you can't keep jerking off into other people's panties. They're their panties, not yours, and even though the government has the right to go through our garbage cans, you do not have the right to paw through the hamper and play with their clothes, because they deserve their own privacy. And speaking of privacy, if you want to watch that creepy cartoon porn, make sure I don't find any evidence of it, much less your mother, because she'll try to send you to a shrink, and you'll end up on mood stabilizers that'll cost us hundreds of dollars a month and make you grow boobs and unable to get it up at all. OK, carry on, consider yourself as having had 'The Talk.'"

Starts off kind of bland, but the mood stabilizer bit was golden.

If I have any problems with my kids, I'm going to get Old Nan to talk to them.

EDIT: Also. Thank you Cantabile for sharing your families personal tragedy with us. It has lived up to it's expectations, and has been amusing in a way - as well as informative.

[buy one get one free]

The most obvious immediate step is a change in having the opportunity available to the grandson. This means, remove said undies from the equation, then address the larger issue of his emerging sexuality more delicately.

Make a universal family declaration, without explanation, that from here out, everyone is responsible for their own laundry, to keep their laundry in their own rooms until they are ready to launder them.

Of course, this solution of removing the symptom (if not the cause) only works if they child respects the boundaries of the bedroom space, which I suspect he would, given the silent message that his folks know what's what.

Then there are the real issues at hand of your toxic daughter in law and emasculated son, which is for another thread.

[Cantabile]

Goodnight. And God bless America.

Did you write that all yourself? Very impressive; I thought it was prose from a professional novel.

My mother, god bless her, said, "if you want to wear the clothes that's fine but you have to ask first", or something along those lines. There was probably a bit more to the lecture but that is what I remember.

Thank you for sharing your story, Ormond. I think it's great that people can share their embarrassing tales, because it makes the rest of us feel more normal for having ones of our own.

I hope no mother ever says, "If you want to jack off into my panties, that's fine, but just ask next time first," though :P I wonder if just offering to give the kid some money and let him buy panties for his own use would have worked, or if suggesting it would have embarrassed him into hiding the behavior, or feel too awkward to do it again.

Anyway, my son never texted me back last night, so I'm not sure how things went. I'll give it an hour or so for him to wake up then call to get the full story.

[Spastic Plastic]

Maybe your daughter-in-law is dumping his mutilated corpse in the sea as we speak, and that's why you haven't heard from him.

[Cantabile]

Hiding bodies requires a level of planning and intellect I don't believe she possesses :P She has the crazy-as-hell personality to make a wonderful axe murderer, but doesn't have the wits to get away with it.

[Stego]

I think the answer to this should be obvious to anyone -- prayer.

[Jaerv]

On the incest topic (I agree that it is highly unlikely that Cantabiles grandson really is incestuos, bt the topic is inetresting):

Incest maybe generally despised, I don't know data about that. But it is not generally outlawed. See this map about incest legislation

Red: Incest between consenting adults prohibited

Yellow: Incest between consenting adults not prohibited, incestuous marriage prohibited.

Blue: Incest legal, but incestuous couples must seek government counseling before marriage

Green: Incest with one party under the legal age of adulthood prohibited, but Incest is legal otherwise.

Grey: No Incest laws/unknown.

EDIT: In many muslim countries the Bintʿamm, the daughter of a man's father's brother, i.e. his patrilateral cousin, is seen as the ideal bride.

[kuroishi]

On the incest topic (I agree that it is highly unlikely that Cantabiles grandson really is incestuos, bt the topic is inetresting):

Incest maybe generally despised, I don't know data about that. But it is not generally outlawed. See this map about incest legislation

Red: Incest between consenting adults prohibited

Yellow: Incest between consenting adults not prohibited, incestuous marriage prohibited.

Blue: Incest legal, but incestuous couples must seek government counseling before marriage

Green: Incest with one party under the legal age of adulthood prohibited, but Incest is legal otherwise.

Grey: No Incest laws/unknown.

EDIT: In many muslim countries the Bintʿamm, the daughter of a man's father's brother, i.e. his patrilateral cousin, is seen as the ideal bride.

Either I don't really get the difference between green and yellow, or the map is wrong because in France incestuous marriage (parent-children or brother-sister) is prohibited as well.

Unless incest with one party under the legal age of adulthood is not prohibited in Finland or Japan ?

[Jaerv]

Either I don't really get the difference between green and yellow, or the map is wrong because in France incestuous marriage (parent-children or brother-sister) is prohibited as well.

Unless incest with one party under the legal age of adulthood is not prohibited in Finland or Japan ?

Is it? Thanks for the Info, because that means that the German-language Wikipedia is wrong at this point.

(While the English-language Wikipedia completely ignores France :lol: )