GOODKIND IX - Killer Queen

[Moosicus]

--Pat5150

I have to agree with Mormont, it is bad form to post a private communication on a public forum. But, since I had the opportunity to read that post before it was deleted, I have some thoughts to share.

1) mystar likes to bitch about trolls, but he is the very essence of trollishness, he comes to this board and pisses on us, and then he leaves. Very trollish.

2) In the email he makes the claim that certain posters here (and I assume he means me) are violating "fair use" and copyright laws. Personally, if he wants to bring a bitch against me, I would prefer that he actually comes out and says it to my face (as much as is possible on an internet chat board), despite that, Mormont gave me the heads-up a while ago to make sure that I was keeping within the "fair use" guidelines, and I believe I have been quite diligent in upholding those standards. Terry (BBNC) is always given credit, and his work is being reproduced for the sole purpose of critique. There is no crime or violation of any law or standard taking place here.

3) mystar doesn't defend the works of Terry Goodkind(BBNC). Whenever he shows his face around here it is only to insult us. Only once has he attempted to stand up for our hero Richard, and that was for the "Violet episode" (on a sidenote, I'd like to point out to people who weren't able to read the email from mystar, that he spelled her name "Violate") and he didn't even have the facts correct, saying that Richard was in immediate danger from Violet, which is completely false.

4) If mystar has a problem with anything on this board, he should bring his problems to me. I'm the one doing the QotD and I do my best, not just to quote the Yeard correctly and give him credit, but I also try to put every quote in its proper context. For mystar to say that things are being left out is absurd. Everything you need to know in order to understand the QotD is spelled out in the beginning, or such is my hope. If things are not clear enough I am certainly willing to give further explanations.

5) mystar, I am throwing down the gauntlet. If we are as stupid as you think we are, you should have no problem defending TG(BBNC)'s works against me. I know his books pretty well, perhaps as well as you do, though I don't take too much pride in that. If you are going to come to this board, and particularly this thread, be prepared to defend yourself. Because I'm ready for you. I don't need my fellow board members, I'm ready for you all on my own. If you're gonna get all pissy about "fair use", bring that shit to me, I'm the one who is quoting this shit.

Just to finish my peace, I'd like to quote the Bible (at least I think its the Bible), "If you're gonna bring it on.....BRING IT ON!!!!!!!"

[VigoTheCarpathian]

In as dramatic tone as possible:

I offer myself as a second in this. Where ever vague and lame threats are issued, I will be there to add my ridicule. I would stand with you, Mad Moose. By threatening the QotD, not only are certain people trying to suppress Truth and Freedom, they just sound lame.

BTW, what do ya'll think for the second installment of Sword of Truth: Porn edition? I was thinking "Bone of Tears"

Followed by:

"Stud of the Fold"

"Temple of the Bints"

"Hole of the Fire"

"Faith of the Balling"

"Pillars of Procreation"

ETA: almost forgot this one (the original title is almost perfect)

"Naked Empire (that is ready to fuck)"

"Chodefire"

"Felchtom"

[Moosicus]

In as dramatic tone as possible:

I offer myself as a second in this. Where ever vague and lame threats are issued, I will be there to add my ridicule. I would stand with you, Mad Moose. By threatening the QotD, not only are certain people trying to suppress Truth and Freedom, they just sound lame.

I appreciate your support, but what I want is a one on one with mystar. I would hate for him to be in the position of having to take us all on. That isn't the point. He's made some accusations, though he hasn't so far shown the testicular fortitude to name names, by which I mean "The Mad Moose", but still I hold out hope that he will show up to take me on. What I need from you, Vigo, and the rest of my good pals here on the thread, is your moral support. And your parodies, which keep me going. Thats all the back up I need.

BTW,

"Temple of the Bints"

What the fuck is a Bint?

Edit: I would just like to add this as a side note: mystar seems to grow closer to TG(BBNC) with every post he makes. For some reason I can't help but think of him as some kind of celebrity stalker. I picture mystar living in some one bedroom apartment with pictures of TG covering his walls and windows. I can also see candle-lit alters featuring shit picked out of Terry's garbage. But that's just my impression, I may be wrong.

[The Stranger]

ummm...

as someone who has been an avid reader of this...facet...of the forum ever since a lazy winter sunday when Werewolf created GKIOG and Mormie subsequently had to [mod] [/mod] us of all into submission, I have to say that I don't see where the fire is on this one, Moose.

1. Mystar is just some dude. his opinions are amusing to us, and whatever he might intend to the contrary, his defenses simply add fuel to the GK fire that has taken over the Literature sub-forum.

2. Mystar has come to realize that his defenses only add to our fervor, and as such, he's stopped posting in these threads.

3. Mystar hates us to the bone. seeing as he can't channel this hatred into *zing* moments with such a hostile audience, he seems to have contented himself with watching and taking note, perhaps whilst keeping a Nixon-style 'Enemies List.'

4. making a public challenge to the mod of a relatively large board (which isn't known for its sense of irony or restraint) is only going to encourage raiding. for chrissake, we all know how they reacted to lukewarm Amazon reviews. how are they going to react to some GRRMinista besmirching their yearded god and challenging his prophet to an exegesis-off?

5. let the facts speak for themselves: dip thy velvetine antlers in the waters of Truthiness, and let the QotDs flow. :bow:

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Moose: from what I understand (I'm from the states, and have only heard the word uttered on Monty Python), a bint is a derogatory term for a young woman. It was the best I could come up with. Plus, the whole offer of being a "second" was basically an offer to make fun of anyone mystar thought would be his moral equivalent (his "second"), or in the event you could not perform your duties, make fun of mystar personally.

I'd have to say that this must be taken with a grain of salt: it was a personal email, and since the sender has not expressed these feelings/legal threats in an open forum, we can all assume that there is some meaure of cowardice at work. I suggest that we all forget about what anyone has said in emails...it is just so easy to misconstrue what a person might say when they might have to defend their statements.

As it stands: Freedom and Truth = 1, anyone who claims to know Freedom and Truth = 0

(jeezus, you got Chodefire and Felchdom, but had to ask what a bint was?)

[Moshe Goldberg Rubinshteyn]

Mad Moose, thank's for the amazon link, and yes I've read your review (very nice one). Still, I would like to see a few 'professional' reviews. No offense to you or the other Amazon reviewers. There must be reviews in SF/F magazines and maybe even other, more general literature news outlets.

PS I also checked the Barnes&Nobles reviews, including the following:

(I hope it's fine to reproduce it here)

Ron Wilson, an avid and true fan, May 19, 2006, *****

What a breth taking thrill ride! (advanced copy review)

Having received an advanced copy, I was thrilled to settle in for a good read. What I got however was an amazing read! I could not force myself to put the book down. I was pulled ever deeper into this world that Goodkind has so artfully created, pulled so entirely in that the world around me ceased to exist. I simply could not stop reading. From the first page this book is a non-stop race leaving you breathless at times, gritting your teeth with determination for the characters and then suddenly being over come with cold sweats at the break neck pace this book provides. Twists and turn don't even begin to describe it. Fear of what is happening, rushing to finish, then more fear that you are running out of pages because you don't what this great novel to end. We learn the answers to some nagging questions about Richards mother, we see and learn about things that go all the way back to Wizards First rule! We see the plot thicken and realize we never would have though these things would happen. This book is the perfect set up for the final chapter in this story arc. I was exhausted when I finally finished this great book. If your a fan, your gonna love it, to all the people who just want to whine and complain, this book is not for you so don't bother. Just stop wasting our time.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Damn! I wish I knew something that could take my "breth" away! And make me condescending enough to say that the people who don't get it might as well stop wasting "our" (is that just you and your 29 cats, or?) time.

A review must be a defensive thing, hoping against hope that one can make another not believe in someone else's opinion, but my own. By the way...Phantom was not a "race that leaves me breathless", it was a book that left me hopeless. I do not think that this series will be ended satisfactorily, or well.

Mahalo

[Chaldanya]

What the fuck is a Bint?

bint=woman in british slang... (it may have been regional once upon a time, but fucked if i know where from)

N

[mormont]

'Bint' comes from the arabic term for girl or daughter (it's the female form of 'bin'). It became a non-specific, patronising term for a woman in UK slang, probably via colonialism. Trivia of the day.

And there is no problem with reproducing a review made in public, Polaris. As for 'fair use', I'm not an expert on that by any means, but Ran thinks the QOTD is within fair use and he knows more than me. This is something we raised, unprompted, on at least three or four seperate occasions with people: this is the first time I've seen or heard of a complaint about it.

[Krafus]

There are a lot of lukewarm reviews here, be sure to scorll down to see the best one, by someone you know very well. Vote for me you bastards!

Okay, I just voted for you. Nice review, btw - reminds me of why I abandoned this series after book 4 and now look back only to mock.

(And man, logging out of Amazon is always a bitch.)

[Werthead]

For the UK market, the semi-average review in SFX that I quoted two pages back is the most significant as it will reach a hell of a lot people. The next issues of Dreamwatch and Starburst should carry reviews of the book as well.

[BranTheBuilder]

For the UK market, the semi-average review in SFX that I quoted two pages back is the most significant as it will reach a hell of a lot people. The next issues of Dreamwatch and Starburst should carry reviews of the book as well.

cheers I'll pick up a copy tomorrow.

To ad to the "Bint" debate - I'm not certain where it is most frequently used, but where I grew up (west Lancashire) it is a very common expression, mostly used by the "Working class" folk in the old mill towns. Weather it's derogatory or not depends on context and tone of voice.

[The Marquis de Leech]

Inspired by the previous parodies, and with more than a touch of irony:

The Communist Manifesto, as written by Kahlan Marx and Terry Goodkind

A chicken that is not a chicken is haunting literature. All the powers of those things lacking in moral clarity have entered into a holy alliance to back this chicken: the Imperial Order and Richard's various half-brothers, eight-year-old girls and any random passer-by who happens to get in the way of the hero at any point in time.

Where is the chicken thing that has not been decried as evil manifest by Objectivists? Where is the chicken that has not instantly hurled back the Yeard against large, distracting boobies?

Two things result from this fact:

I. Chickens that are not chickens are already acknowledged as evil incarnate.

II. It is high time that something be done about my co-author.

The history of all hitherto existing Yeards is the history of multi-page descriptions of rape.

[Editor's Note: At this point the manuscript breaks off, due to the co-authors hacking each other to pieces. The intended concluding sentences appear to have been "Objectivists of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your Yeards."]

[Moosicus]

Oooooooh, a "bint", now I get it. Its not a word we use up here. As for the other stuff, well, in all fairness, I was pretty drunk last night.

[Kingslayer]

You gars ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Why are you afraid of Tary? Admit to your own crimes, and the learning can begin.

[Jaxom 1974]

BTW, what do ya'll think for the second installment of Sword of Truth: Porn edition? I was thinking "Bone of Tears"

Followed by:

"Stud of the Fold"

"Temple of the Bints"

"Hole of the Fire"

"Faith of the Balling"

"Pillars of Procreation"

ETA: almost forgot this one (the original title is almost perfect)

"Naked Empire (that is ready to fuck)"

"Chodefire"

"Felchtom"

These are good...but some others...

"Wizard's First Bone"

"Soul of the Fuck"

"Butt Naked Empire"

"Daisy Chainfire"

"Phantom"...Yeah, I know, but it's not an easy title to "pornify", however, the plot of a woman who wakes up not knowing who she is, gets captured by Sisters of the Dark (I'm still holding out for the famous black porn actresses. Triplets) and has to deal with the bad guy who's name is easily transformed into Jagangbang doesn't really need a porn title when it already has a porn plot.

[TLL17]

I was under the impression that the only meat that the IO likes to eat are the pan-seared enemy testicles. But I suppose they could make testicle jerky, for long marches.

I do agree that they probably could strike make crazy guerilla strikes, and it would make sense tactically to do so at one time so the enemy wouldn't be prepared. But then apparently it works again, because Jagang is evil (therefore an idiot), and wouldn't increase security on his caravans or anything like that. Plus, I would think there would be a huge force of soldiers who actually went and surveyed the damage, so I wouldn't think the most likely thing the soldiers would do is stick around and put up skull decorations, spice the ground up a little, etc.

As well, does anyone have a problem with them letting non-resisting citizens go? Didn't Richard advocate killing all the IO supporters? I mean, aren't they just going to join army or at the very least tell the IO your numbers, how you were armed, where you went and all the things guerillas would not want known? So either these guys are disobeying Richard's orders or Richard/TG changed his mind (didn't want scenes with noble D'Harans chopping down little kids). Plus, I mean, c'mon, Richard's been known to kill conscenscious objectors in the past anyway...I am I seeing contradictions that are not there, or what?

Vigo, my friend, its even worse than that.

Richard's strategy was written by a 14 year old boy who's idea of strategy is to watch the Patriot and think its real. And even then he doesn't get it right.

How are you going to coordinate the destruction of 35-40 cities in a month with guerillas hiding in the bush, especially given a mideaval (sp) time period? Oh, and not get caught, especially in a militarized state like the Empire?

The US actually tried something very similar to this in the early 1950s, bankrolling attempts at armed resistance and funding fifth columnist movements in the Ukraine and Eastern Europe. Stalin and his sucessors crushed it handily and a bunch of people died for nothing. Stupid idea.

Communist movements tried it, too-think of the failure of the foco strategy (sp) in Boliva under Che Guevara's lamebrained adventure and in Venezuela in the 1970s. It didn't work. At best, it gave the guerillas a desultory stalemate in Columbia, where M-19 which later became the basis for FARC became less of a legitmate guerilla movement and survived by selling their souls to drug dealers as hired guns.

There was also the final fate of Blackforce 10 in the Dutch East Indies during World War II. Composed of Dutch, Australian and British forces, after the the Japanese invaded, they fled into the jungles and tried to conduct a guerilla war. It lasted about a month before they were all caught or killed because the population despised the Dutch colonizers and turned information over to the Japanese. Of course, the Japanese were even worse pricks as colonizers, and the population came to hate them and start their own, more successful, guerilla movement...

But I digress.

For guerilla warfare to succeed, the guerillas must win over the population through either coercion, currying favor, or a mixture of both and sustain this. Doing so insures that the regular occupying forces can't gain the information necessary to hunt down the guerillas and destroy them with overwhelming firepower. Popular support ensures a steady supply of recruits, food and material support, etc. Over time, the regular invading forces get worn down and give in.

Sometimes this strategy works; often it doesn't-in fact it fails more often than people realize, or just leads to a bloody stalemate.

Ultimately successful guerilla wars also often require states where central control is weak, the population is divided and opposed to the occupying forces or has greeviances the government does not address, and there is a low soldier to population ratio and weakened seucrity forces and logistical, transport, and communications infrastructure. Also rugged terrain or urban environments where the guerilla can hide in the general populace.

None of the above applies to Richard's goofy invasion.

One of the many problems with the whole guerilla campaign is that there may be some brief limited and isolated successes, but then the population would turn against Richard who, operating in an umfamilar environment, would be easily destroyed via the application of some very basic and elementary imperial policing policies that predate the Roman Empire by the well-organized Imperial Order and its security apparatus.

Richard's retarded speeches wouldn't win anybody over.

On top of that, the people and forces of the Order know their own land better than Richard's own troops do. Therefore, they would give back information to the Imperial Order, which would then hunt Richard's forces down and destroy them in their entirity. This would be particularly easy as Richard's forces are in big groups if they are going to destroy 35-40 cities in a frigging month.

The people, even if Richard does not have noncombatants killed, would still hate him for his foreign ways, alien idelology, and the fact he's destroying their economic livelihood. They would inform on him in a second. Killing everybody Richard can doesn't help either, the people will only turn against him even more. Richard has no support to maintain his guerilla forces? Also, how could he hide his large forces against an antagonistic population and the Order?

Also the Empire is a well organized authroitarian regime with extemsive security services and military forces. They have to have numerous agents in the field and scouts and whatnot that could quickly respond to Richard's raids. Even if people sympathized with Richard for some reason, they would still inform on him because his guerilla forces, the foreign invaders, will leave someday, whereas those of the Order and Empire live in the empire and are thus there to STAY.

Richard's strategy stands on its head the logic of guerilla war, which has its best success as a defensive tactic.

[Watcher]

Just to finish my peace, I'd like to quote the Bible (at least I think its the Bible), "If you're gonna bring it on.....BRING IT ON!!!!!!!"

Correction the phrase "BRING IT ON" came from here, not the Bible.

I missed the MyStar post. But I'm thinking it one of his typical posts

Blah, Blah, Blah, you don't understand Terry Blah, Blah, Blah, if you haven't read everything he's written blah blah blah

Blah, Blah, Blah, my life is better then yours because I don''t waste time mocking people.

Blah, Blah, Blah, you are all losers Blah, Blah, Blah

Blah, Blah, Blah, <some vague threat> Blah, Blah, Blah

Note: not an actual message from Mystar

[Werthead]

Dear God, it's nearly time for another thread. How the hell do these keep filling up so fast? Subtitle suggestions as normal.

During recent ramblings around the Internet I came across this gem of a page. And my thoughts followed a natural progression of application which could be quite interesting. The Antirahlists? The D'Haran Freedom Fighters' Resistance? Hmm.

[Thomas Hetz]

That website wins at life.