Jump to content

GOODKIND IX - Killer Queen


MinDonner

Recommended Posts

Yeah, when she thought she was doing it with Drefan the "spirits" had taken away her powers, not just for the duration of the sex, but for the duration of their marriage. She got them back after Dick ripped his spine out and he took a spill in the Slyph.

Is it any wonder why I get so easily confused...? :lol:

The Sword of Truth: Check Reality at the Door! (I think that's my vote for the title of the next thread.) :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"As you all well know, life under the Order offers nothing but decay and

ruin. There is little work, little food, little to look forward to... except

the promise of glory in some afterworld life-but only in exchange for your

selfless service in this one. The priests of the Fellowship of Order have

nothing to offer you but misery, so they proclaim suffering a virtue and in

exchange generously grant you extravagant, eternal rewards in some other

world. Rewards that cannot be examined beforehand, rewards in a world that

is unknowable, except, they claim, to them. Not one of you would be gullible

enough to trade a dog for such hollow promises, and yet legions have been

swindled into eagerly offering up their own lives, the only life they will

ever have, in the unfair exchange.

found this quote in Chainfire - it seems to sum up some of TG (BBHN) pet hates - communism and the church.... this shortly after a paragraph where Richard goes on about how the locals must join him and the D'harans in thier fight....

hypocracy? surely not.

as for the issue of supply lines and fighting far from home:

"For one thing, the Imperial Order has not fully grasped the corrosive

effect of distance from their homeland. No matter how much they loot, they

still need vast quantities of every kind of supply, from flour to make bread

to feathers to make arrows. They can't scavenge enough food to feed their

numbers. They need craftsmen and workers to support their fighting men and

they need a steady stream of new soldiers to replace the vast numbers lost

in the battles of the campaign. It is difficult to fight in a strange and

distant land. Their losses from sickness alone have been staggering. Yet

with reinforcements always arriving they have been able to more than replace

all they lose. Their army grows constantly, becoming more formidable with

each passing day. But that means it also has more needs every day.

TG (BBHN) has thought about these things - but they only seem to apply to the order...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Richard's soldiers eat and breath Objectivism this is why they do not need to be supplied. As for the great distances Richard has discovered that an Objectivist walks faster than any other person. Why, Terry Goodkind has just considered his speed at producing novels and has translated it to marching.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As anyone knows, the forces under Richard's command eat moral celery, drink the sweet nectar of the blossom of Objectivism, bathe in cleansing fluids of Truth, and then they shit Freedom all over the IO.

They can travel fast and perform the impossible in one night.

They salt the earth with the tears of IO families, and with their own Truthful semen.

They burn IO soldiers and sorcerors with the fiery jalapeño diarrhea spray of Justice.

They expect no mercy. They be relentless.

They are the D'Haran People's Front Crack Suicide Squad. Crack Suicide Squad, attack!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My brain demands internal consistency.

Internal consistency? With TG (BBNC)? You're asking too much!

HARK! Next Time, place a warning, please! That was almost too much for my innocent young self!

Hark, you :owned:

Now I need to wash my brain to get rid of that image.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"As you all well know, life under the Order offers nothing but decay and

ruin. There is little work, little food, little to look forward to... except

the promise of glory in some afterworld life-but only in exchange for your

selfless service in this one. The priests of the Fellowship of Order have

nothing to offer you but misery, so they proclaim suffering a virtue and in

exchange generously grant you extravagant, eternal rewards in some other

world. Rewards that cannot be examined beforehand, rewards in a world that

is unknowable, except, they claim, to them. Not one of you would be gullible

enough to trade a dog for such hollow promises, and yet legions have been

swindled into eagerly offering up their own lives, the only life they will

ever have, in the unfair exchange.

But but but...in TG's world there IS an afterlife. Richard knows this, afterall he has talked to the spirits of the dead. So the IO's priests might have a point

Link to comment
Share on other sites

y'know, I can't tell if that's supposed to be an insult or a compliment.

I think it's both.

Well, the quote probably dates back when the Fountainhead was first published, back in the 1940s, so American female writers of ideas are a 'rarity' back then.... :rofl:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Right, I've been through and collated all the parodies I could find on my blog - everyone's credited, but if you'd rather not be on there then let me know and I'll take it down. Also, if I've missed any of em then give me the URL and I'll rectify as soon as I can!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

After visiting your blog I can only praise your moral "celery" in the fashion of those worshipers of Richard's "thing".

:bow:

MinDonner, lead us, protect us, show us the way!

MinDonner, lead us, protect us, show us the way!

MinDonner, lead us, protect us, show us the way!

MinDonner, lead us, protect us, show us the way!

MinDonner, lead us, protect us, show us the way!

At this point I start crying and finally understand the greatness of moral celery and that I have to seek freedom, truth and only follow your teachings.

MinDonner, lead us, protect us, show us the way!

MinDonner, lead us, protect us, show us the way!

MinDonner, lead us, protect us, show us the way! Etc.

Have you ever thought about starting a cult? :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Whatever next? You'll tell us your real name is not Min!

I always wondered if you can see colourful patterns and shapes which seem like prophetic destiny around the posters on this board. If you do would you let us in on some of these insights? I have a feeling they would be very interesting, especially because they always come true.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

MinDonner, the parodies rock! I thought I read them all, aparantly not. The Harry Potter one cracked me up :cool:

On a side note, TG (BBHN) likes to make simplified statements about simplified examples, how about this one:

in the Muslim world people follow an ideology mostly (theology better) and non secular government has much less an influence on people. Should that increase the need for a stronger non secular government in those countries in order to minimize the threats of religious fanatism?

Or is that a contradiction to TG's (BBHN) philosofy: government is evil, self is good? But than, contradictions do not exist. Damn I still haven't reached moral clarity. Terry-ism is only for the happy few I guess.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, to take an example from the real world, Libya had a strong secular government which reduced the level of fanaticism; despite some, er, questionable connections with terrorists at the beginning, Libya is now quite a strong and forward-thinking country that is now being welcomed into the international community.

Do we think Richard would want to be integrated into a community of any kind? NO! So he'd probably be against the idea, and would just kill all the people instead.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think Richard might agree to be part of a community... As long as he's made leader of said community, and thus could preach his drivel to the unenlightened masses in a 10-page speech.

Also, he'd kill all dissenters. After all, a community with him at its head is obviously Good, those who oppose it are Evil and thus must die.

Or, if he decided against it, he'd make some grandiose, 10-page speech about how they obviously have evil ideas that can only lead to death and destruction.

Also, he'd kill all those who promote the idea. After all, their ideas are Evil and can only lead to death and destruction, so the proper response is obviously to visit death and destruction upon them, their families, their cities and their countries.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...