Yagathai Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 Ready? FIGHT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalbear Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 Pinkeye. Aka chlamydia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yagathai Posted May 17, 2014 Author Share Posted May 17, 2014 Or the face clap. Er, not that I would know from personal experience. Nope. Not me. Hey, look over there! It's a butterfly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 That's not impatient, that's "asshole run the fuck away". At least it was nice of him to get that in right up front and save you the trouble of continuing the conversation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 Still plugging away, trying to maximise my participation in social occasions (not easy as an introvert). Ditto with attempts at online dating (have never had any replies, but am not giving up). Trying to find someone is a lot like trying to get a book published, I've noticed, complete with the alternating cycles of optimism and pessimism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ankou Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 I'm with you. I get the sense not many people like my brand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Monkey Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 Yeah thats pretty much how I felt, Min. Still, surprising IMO. I take it some people confusing "forthright and honest" with "off-putting and rude". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 Right, I'm off to dinner at Ms. N's place. Wish me luck and the ability to not make an ass of myself in front of her friends :) Good luck with any weekend dates and rendezvous folks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 I think I want to try my hand at the online dating scene. Any suggestions on a starting point?ETA: Good luck, KiDisaster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted01 Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 Best of luck! You'll be great :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 Have fun KiD! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derfel Cadarn Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 LITA, there are guide on how to make a good profile and write good messages online, and I'm sure others here can give better advice than me.What I will say is, don't build your hopes up. It can be really brutal. You could talk with a girl for a week or two, agree to meet - and then she might stop messaging you for no apparent reason before a date can be arranged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Monkey Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 Eh... I asked him a question, he ignored it completely and started a new topic and then told me he didnt want to type or that and to call. He messaged me - he could at least try to get me interested first, tell me something about himself, right? I know the type! I bet when he was writing that he was probably thinking about how you'd be wow'd by how direct and confident he seemed. A lot of people get those two confused and think that it's OK to be pushy and rude as long as they think they're just being straightforward. I can't imagine ever just firing off arbitrary orders at someone I just met like that. I guess the upside of that is that when someone gets really weird right away it saves you the time (compared to them getting really weird three weeks later). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Warlock of Qarth Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 I think I want to try my hand at the online dating scene. Any suggestions on a starting point? Here are a few tips: - have a DECENT picture of yourself. Seriously, it amazes me how many people (men AND women) upload some shitty selfie taken in some poorly lit bathroom and call it a day. Have a decent picture of your face, a full body shot and some pictures of yourself doing something active, and you're already ahead of at least 50% of the competition. Oh, and for God's sake, keep your shirt on! - keep your profile and messages short, fun and relevant to the girl's profile. "Hi, how are you! You seem like an fun person! Would you like to chat sometime?" is utterly meaningless and women are bombarded with these kind of messages. Every. Single. Day. Have some female friends or family members in your age bracket read your profile and ask for their advice. Pro tip: Make sure your message header stands out. It can be funny, mysterious, referencing to something in her profile, it doesn't matter. If girl has 20 new messages in her inbox, a message saying "Calling agent [girl's profile name], this is HQ, come in agent [girl's profile name]" is going to draw her attention more than something like "Hey there", "Hi" or "Nice profile!". - When I started out, I often made the mistake of writing in-depth responses when a girl asked me about my work/hobbies or interests. Often I'd never receive a response afterwards (seriously ladies, astronomy isn't THAT boring, is it?) Instead, keep the answer short and to the point and return to the important subject, which is the girl and her interests. Make sure that every message or response you send has a question for the lady you're trying to woo. Failure to do so will dramatically lower your response rate. - get used to rejection. If you get 1 response for every 10 messages you send out, that's about average for a man. You won't get a response to the vast majority of your messages, not even a "Thanks, but no, thanks". Unless you're exceptionally attractive, don't expect women to initiate contact. Also, as Derfel has stated, don't be surprised if a girl goes AWOL, even after you've exchanged a couple of messages and everything appears to be going well. It may well be that she got bored of you, decided internet dating wasn't for her or a superior male specimen messaged her and she liked him more. When a girl get 20-30 messages a day, she can afford to pick the cream of the crop. OkCupid posted some of their numbers and the top 5% of the men got three times as many responses as the next 5%, so unless your name is George Clooney, be prepared to invest significant time and energy before you even get your first RL date. - don't wait too long to meet up in real life, but, as Derfel stated, don't be surprised if the girl bails when you ask for her number. Good luck LitA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 Right, well, the date was last night and went rather well for the most part. Dinner was good, I got along with her friends and they seemed to like me which is of course good, though one of them did get a bit obnoxious with a certain habit as the night went on. Habit may not be the right word. The two of them asked me a lot of questions, as you might expect, wanting to know more about me and such. Apparently Ms. N hadn't really told them that much since I'd be meeting them soon anyway. Anyway, one of the two friends (who was a J, funnily enough, maybe you guys are on to something) kept comparing me to Ms. N's ex every time they learned something new about me. Example: They asked what I do, and then how long I'd been doing it, and when I told them I've been doing my current job for nearly 6 years she'd turn to N and go "Oh wow, ex-bf never held down a real job." or something to that effect, and this went on most of the night. Now none of them were negative comparisons (negative to me that is) since from what I gathered her ex was a real asshole and a loser, but it started to grate after a while, and I could tell N wasn't liking it either. I get that they want to make sure I'm not like him if there's even a possibility that she and I will end up making things official, and trust me I know I'm going to be compared to any and all exes, but it just seems rude to do it in front of me. Maybe I'm just being weird and it's normal though. I dunno. Anyway, it wasn't that big of a deal and the rest of the night went great. I stuck around a few hours after the other two left. A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell so I won't get into any specifics but it was a good time :lol: Really liking this girl. I don't know if it'll last or go anywhere but oh well, might as well enjoy it for now :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kungtotte Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 You're not weird. They're weird for doing that in front of you. As you say, you will obviously be compared to any and all exes but it's not appropriate conversation for dinner when you're actually present.As for myself I'm getting more and more excited over my date with IT Girl, and less and less interested in pursuing Lady J. She's got more than a little baggage and seems pretty hung up on her ex, and I can't really be bothered with that. If Lady J wants it, she's going to have to come get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 Sounds good kung! I can't remember what you've said in the past, but there was something that gave me a good feeling about IT Girl. Probably just that she's IT Girl and I approve of that :P ETA: Ki - Agreed with kung, they are rude for doing that and it sounds like she felt the same. At least that's out of the way now and hopefully nothing similar will happen again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhangel Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 - When I started out, I often made the mistake of writing in-depth responses when a girl asked me about my work/hobbies or interests. Often I'd never receive a response afterwards (seriously ladies, astronomy isn't THAT boring, is it?) Instead, keep the answer short and to the point and return to the important subject, which is the girl and her interests. Make sure that every message or response you send has a question for the lady you're trying to woo. Failure to do so will dramatically lower your response rate. I disagree with this. I actually recently stopped chatting to a guy because he did exactly this - after four or so messages, I was giving out a lot more in-depth responses than he was, and he was responding to everything and asking questions about it but he wasn't giving me anything back. Not only does that make it harder to carry a conversation, it's uncomfortable because, y'know, many or most of us do not consider ourselves and our interests to be the important subject and actually want to have a real discussion with a give-and-take. So I'd say tell them about your interests, even or especially if they're a little unusual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 Maybe the middle ground here is just being specific about interests without being overly detailed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 I disagree with this. I actually recently stopped chatting to a guy because he did exactly this - after four or so messages, I was giving out a lot more in-depth responses than he was, and he was responding to everything and asking questions about it but he wasn't giving me anything back. Not only does that make it harder to carry a conversation, it's uncomfortable because, y'know, many or most of us do not consider ourselves and our interests to be the important subject and actually want to have a real discussion with a give-and-take. So I'd say tell them about your interests, even or especially if they're a little unusual.same. I don't like it when people shift conversations so that you are the one expected to talk at great length because I don't really enjoy talking about myself for too long without talking about the other person too, I enjoy conversations not interviews :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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