Dating Triple-Ex-Eye

[Ankou]

You'd be surprised.

[Inigima]

This conversation is bizarre

[NestorMakhnosLovechild]

He went too overboard on the kind and number of guys she was pulling. In the end he was TOO descriptive and clearly enjoying the telling too much. Also, it makes little sense she would slum it with him until she had an open relationship when she has tons of dudes fawning over her.

Definitely sounds like someone with a cuckold fetish indulging it online. He probably gets off on people telling him he's an asshole and other guys fucking his girlfriend are "what he deserves."

[Kalbear]

Mr cl might also have had a bad sexy time too. Or he might be taking this forums advice and not try to appear too clingy. Honestly it sounds like you're just looking for a reason to slag him.

[Mad Monkey]

Definitely sounds like someone with a cuckold fetish indulging it online. He probably gets off on people telling him he's an asshole and other guys fucking his girlfriend are "what he deserves."

There are other subtle signs that bothered me too, such as the way he went out of his way to make his girlfriend sound more sympathetic (sneering at her over how much hotter the other women were than she was, emphasizing how kind and fair she was to him), and the fact that the whole story was clearly ripped from this cheesy advice column that I read fairly religiously:

A few months ago, in order to spice up our sex lives, I persuaded my wife of four years to try swinging. I searched online and found an ordinary-looking couple I thought would suit us to begin with. We met, had dinner, went to a hotel, and swapped partners.

I am a fit, fairly good-looking, well-endowed man. I was surprised and dismayed when the other man, who is older, somewhat overweight, and balding, undressed. He was way larger than me, and for two hours I had to watch him work my wife into multiple fits, screams, and moans.

Since this experience (which we have not repeated), I haven't been able to look at my wife in the same way. I cannot get that night out of my mind. It's affecting my work and ability to be happy. Sometimes I feel I could just punch my wife in the face. I want a divorce. The few friends I have confided in about this say that I am being unfair, but I cannot see how I could possibly be content in my marriage ever again. Is there a way I can overcome this?

Maybe there are two saps out there who had basically the same silly experience though.

[Arkhangel]

Too much. Overly descriptive, blatantly paints the guy in the worst possible light - I call troll.

[sperry]

So, I posted a few months ago about "religous girl." Religious girl and I chatted a lot, went on a first date, which seemed to go great, but when I asked for a second date, said she wanted to but rejected me. She changed her mind about a week later and said she wanted to date me, but then reversed course again and dumped me a week later. At that point I stopped updating the situation on here, but we were not done.

Even after dumping, we continued texting and engaging in conversations, and started hanging out in coffee-date type situations. We really hit it off for a few weeks, and ended up getting drinks and hooking up one night. After that, she told me that she felt we needed to back off a little bit, which I respected since she had after all dumped me and indicated she didn't want to date. So we went about two weeks at this point without much conversation. At this point, she had a medical scare, and I sent flowers to her. This apparently won her over, and she told me that she wanted to date me.

This time, we dated about a 2 months. Everything was going swimmingly. We hung out a lot, seemed to have a great time together. No fights, or even really small disagreements. Then last week, she dumped me again.

This was pretty devastating for me, as it came out of the blue with no warning. No fights, no distancing of each other, none of the apathy that can seem to set in when two people just aren't clicking.

And I really don't know what to do at this point. I really like this gal. Beautiful, smart, funny, successful. We have a great time together. We don't fight.

But obviously this whole breaking up with me out of the blue thing is more than a bit of a deal breaker. There aren't other guys in her life. I know for a fact that she spends her evenings at home playing music and reading and stuff. So it's not that kind of thing.

Now at this point, it may be a moot point. I texted her a few days later saying that I missed her, I wanted to work with her and things didn't have to end like this, and she said that she was sorry, she knew it was hard, but we weren't going to date again. Now the last couple of times this has happened she changed her mind on her own, so I'm thinking it's very possible it happens again, and I don't know what to do in this case.

The time we have spent together has been fantastic. She has been an involved, caring, and fun girlfriend. I really don't know what to do, as I really like her, but can't keep dealing with this nonsense. I really don't know if this is a commitment issue thing, or if she just isn't that in to me and doesn't know how to express that. When she broke up with me she again reiterated that she loves spending time with me and finds me attractive.

So I'm really torn. If it's a fear of abandonment or commitment, I'd like to work through it with her because I think she's worth it in terms of actually being together. But I also can't deal with this emotional rollercoaster, that seems to only manifest itself in occassionally dumping me.

[Littlefingers In The Air]

So, I posted a few months ago about "religous girl." Religious girl and I chatted a lot, went on a first date, which seemed to go great, but when I asked for a second date, said she wanted to but rejected me. She changed her mind about a week later and said she wanted to date me, but then reversed course again and dumped me a week later. At that point I stopped updating the situation on here, but we were not done.

Even after dumping, we continued texting and engaging in conversations, and started hanging out in coffee-date type situations. We really hit it off for a few weeks, and ended up getting drinks and hooking up one night. After that, she told me that she felt we needed to back off a little bit, which I respected since she had after all dumped me and indicated she didn't want to date. So we went about two weeks at this point without much conversation. At this point, she had a medical scare, and I sent flowers to her. This apparently won her over, and she told me that she wanted to date me.

This time, we dated about a 2 months. Everything was going swimmingly. We hung out a lot, seemed to have a great time together. No fights, or even really small disagreements. Then last week, she dumped me again.

This was pretty devastating for me, as it came out of the blue with no warning. No fights, no distancing of each other, none of the apathy that can seem to set in when two people just aren't clicking.

And I really don't know what to do at this point. I really like this gal. Beautiful, smart, funny, successful. We have a great time together. We don't fight.

But obviously this whole breaking up with me out of the blue thing is more than a bit of a deal breaker. There aren't other guys in her life. I know for a fact that she spends her evenings at home playing music and reading and stuff. So it's not that kind of thing.

Now at this point, it may be a moot point. I texted her a few days later saying that I missed her, I wanted to work with her and things didn't have to end like this, and she said that she was sorry, she knew it was hard, but we weren't going to date again. Now the last couple of times this has happened she changed her mind on her own, so I'm thinking it's very possible it happens again, and I don't know what to do in this case.

The time we have spent together has been fantastic. She has been an involved, caring, and fun girlfriend. I really don't know what to do, as I really like her, but can't keep dealing with this nonsense. I really don't know if this is a commitment issue thing, or if she just isn't that in to me and doesn't know how to express that. When she broke up with me she again reiterated that she loves spending time with me and finds me attractive.

So I'm really torn. If it's a fear of abandonment or commitment, I'd like to work through it with her because I think she's worth it in terms of actually being together. But I also can't deal with this emotional rollercoaster, that seems to only manifest itself in occassionally dumping me.

I am tempted to go on a rant about not being able to win no matter what you do, but that's not fair. What I feel you should do is let her know that while you're really into her, you have enough self-respect not to let her drag you on an emotional rollercoaster.

I wouldn't go as far as demanding an explanation but I would certainly insist on one. Let the bullshit die and the healing begin, I say. But mostly I want to say good luck. She doesn't sound like a bad girl but you have to be happy and I'm rooting for you.

[MinDonner]

:dunno: Sounds more like she's stringing you along for the attention. The best thing you can do for yourself is to believe her when she says she doesn't want to date and move on; no-one needs to be in a relationship situation where they're constantly afeared of being randomly dumped. Anyone can SAY "oh I really enjoy your company" but if this is contradicted by their actions, then listen to the actions.

[kungtotte]

Yeah, I wouldn't put myself through that. If you get back together, what's stopping her from breaking it off again in another two months?

[Stannisaurus]

http://www.redditlog.com/snapshots/554905

Like others said, too perfect to be true

[Inigima]

I agree with Mindonner, stop seeing her.

[Arkhangel]

The time we have spent together has been fantastic. She has been an involved, caring, and fun girlfriend. I really don't know what to do, as I really like her, but can't keep dealing with this nonsense. I really don't know if this is a commitment issue thing, or if she just isn't that in to me and doesn't know how to express that. When she broke up with me she again reiterated that she loves spending time with me and finds me attractive.

So I'm really torn. If it's a fear of abandonment or commitment, I'd like to work through it with her because I think she's worth it in terms of actually being together. But I also can't deal with this emotional rollercoaster, that seems to only manifest itself in occassionally dumping me.

Have you tried just asking her why she doesn't feel she can be with you?

Failing a fully honest answer to that question, though, after a polite message explaining how you feel about her but that you can't keep dealing with this emotional yoyo-ing, I would cut off all contact.

[Insomnium]

Let me ask this. If you don't contact her, is she likely to contact you? Seems one sided, and that would be the telling point. I think Min was spot on. It's hard for some people to turn away the attention.

[Inigima]

Stop indulging her. Don't ask her shit. Just stop.

[Theda Baratheon]

Stop indulging her. Don't ask her shit. Just stop.

Yep.

not to be mean, but she sounds a bit terrible.

[KiDisaster]

I'll give religious girl the benefit of the doubt and say she sounds like a classic case of someone who has no idea what they want, rather than her deliberately stringing you along and messing with you for the fun of it. Either way though, that's not someone you want to be investing your time in. I'm with everyone else, bail and move on.

[kungtotte]

I can't believe I've found a Norwegian (Mr. Big), a Finn (Mr. J), and now a Swede.

Saving the best for last, eh? Smart move.

[Frances Bean Corbray]

So, I posted a few months ago about "religous girl." Religious girl and I chatted a lot, went on a first date, which seemed to go great, but when I asked for a second date, said she wanted to but rejected me. She changed her mind about a week later and said she wanted to date me, but then reversed course again and dumped me a week later. At that point I stopped updating the situation on here, but we were not done.

Even after dumping, we continued texting and engaging in conversations, and started hanging out in coffee-date type situations. We really hit it off for a few weeks, and ended up getting drinks and hooking up one night. After that, she told me that she felt we needed to back off a little bit, which I respected since she had after all dumped me and indicated she didn't want to date. So we went about two weeks at this point without much conversation. At this point, she had a medical scare, and I sent flowers to her. This apparently won her over, and she told me that she wanted to date me.

This time, we dated about a 2 months. Everything was going swimmingly. We hung out a lot, seemed to have a great time together. No fights, or even really small disagreements. Then last week, she dumped me again.

This was pretty devastating for me, as it came out of the blue with no warning. No fights, no distancing of each other, none of the apathy that can seem to set in when two people just aren't clicking.

And I really don't know what to do at this point. I really like this gal. Beautiful, smart, funny, successful. We have a great time together. We don't fight.

But obviously this whole breaking up with me out of the blue thing is more than a bit of a deal breaker. There aren't other guys in her life. I know for a fact that she spends her evenings at home playing music and reading and stuff. So it's not that kind of thing.

Now at this point, it may be a moot point. I texted her a few days later saying that I missed her, I wanted to work with her and things didn't have to end like this, and she said that she was sorry, she knew it was hard, but we weren't going to date again. Now the last couple of times this has happened she changed her mind on her own, so I'm thinking it's very possible it happens again, and I don't know what to do in this case.

The time we have spent together has been fantastic. She has been an involved, caring, and fun girlfriend. I really don't know what to do, as I really like her, but can't keep dealing with this nonsense. I really don't know if this is a commitment issue thing, or if she just isn't that in to me and doesn't know how to express that. When she broke up with me she again reiterated that she loves spending time with me and finds me attractive.

So I'm really torn. If it's a fear of abandonment or commitment, I'd like to work through it with her because I think she's worth it in terms of actually being together. But I also can't deal with this emotional rollercoaster, that seems to only manifest itself in occassionally dumping me.

http://bayareagem.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/i041010peanuts1.jpg

Or, in other words:

Stop indulging her. Don't ask her shit. Just stop.

[Inigima]

OH - and Mr. Commercial Litigation called last night, from his office. His cell phone is broken. So, at least he is a gentleman.

Speaking as an IT guy: he's a lawyer, and you think that motherfucker didn't have a new phone same-day? I'm reeeeeeeaaaaaaaaal skeptical.