RGBeyondAsshai Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I can't even rant about the big stuff any more because it's gone so far beyond that, like I'm just literally speechless that a) they thought this made narrative sense; and B) there are people giving this episode a 9 or a 10 who have apparently read the books (whut?) BUT a couple of smaller things: 1) So remember when they did the ONLY FLASHBACK they have ever done on the show and it was super important to show it and they hired two young actresses and someone to play Maegy so they could eliminate most of the important parts of the prophecy like the valonqar and Cersei's killing Melara, and everyone was like "no, they'll totally include those parts sometime later in the scene"? Yeah. 2) They literally hired an actress to play Lollys and did CGI Stokeworth so they could have Bronn introduce Larry as "Jaime Fucking Lannister" didn't they? You can call him Jaime all you want, people, but I know Jaime and this gormless incompetent isn't Jaime. He probably got eaten by a bear at the end of Season 3. 3) Poor Carol. First her babydaddy/lover abandons her on this stupid mission that she never wanted him to do, so he's not around when she has to do her walk of shame, and then he goes and gets her baby girl killed. Dollars to doughnuts, Cersei will break things off with Jaime on the show, rather than the other way around. The poor woman's been trying for two years to get it through that numbskull's head that things are different now, maybe he'll finally get the point. On the plus side, there are SO many candidates for "most butchered storyline" that the awards show should be amazing :P :agree: with all of this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cas Stark Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I feel like I'm the only one around here, but I feel it was perfectly in-character for Ellaria to kill Myrcella while Trystane was on the ship. She wants war at all costs, what better way than have the Lannisters execute Doran's only heir? Maybe, since she clearly became insane since last season, and now hatches easily detected crackpot scheme after crackpot scheme and appears to be completely unhinged because on a show that didn't suck, she and all of her daughters who were there on the pier would be as good as dead as soon as Doran hears what they did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
She-Ra Princess of Power Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Where the eff is Ghost?He left with Sam and Gilly duh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bosfan Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I feel like I'm the only one around here, but I feel it was perfectly in-character for Ellaria to kill Myrcella while Trystane was on the ship. She wants war at all costs, what better way than have the Lannisters execute Doran's only heir? Or Jaime can just turn around and ask Doran WTH!? In any case Ellaria would be Deadaria. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbybuilderton Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I feel like I'm the only one around here, but I feel it was perfectly in-character for Ellaria to kill Myrcella while Trystane was on the ship. She wants war at all costs, what better way than have the Lannisters execute Doran's only heir? In character for the show, maybe. If we ignore Oberyn's boast about not hurting little girls in Dorne. In character for the books? Where she's the only one of the Dornish not out for blood in some way, and realizes that revenge is just an endless cycle that SOMEONE has to break? Not at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RGBeyondAsshai Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 He left with Sam and Gilly duh He has spent more time with Sam... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teej6 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I feel like I'm the only one around here, but I feel it was perfectly in-character for Ellaria to kill Myrcella while Trystane was on the ship. She wants war at all costs, what better way than have the Lannisters execute Doran's only heir? But she won't be around to see it. Remember, Doran doesn't believe in third chances. Off with her head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Wow. Just... wow. Just got home, will go catch up in a minute. I just wanted to say 'wow'. So, 13 or 15 mins in and it's 'battle of ice (LOLOLOL) is over. A relief, no more Satannis. Ramsay really is something else, isn't he? wow. What came next? Whatever. What was that one of the actors that plays a Sand Snake said about their wow moment? Wut? The poisoned kiss. Jaime trys to tell Myrcella he is her dad, but she knew and was totes cool and happy about it all. wow. And then she dies! In his arms! LOL So not only no letter from Carol, but now he not only fucked up his 'sensitive diplomatic mission' but got their daughter killed. That useless Larry, I can't imagine how hard life must be for Carol. wow. Arya. wow. Couldn't we have had Trant pick one girl out of a group of three? No. No, we had to see him beating all three girls up. wow.The face change reveal was so obvious it was silly. My head hurts. wow.And the actual kill? LOLOLOL I guess it's 'The Braavos Shiv Massacre'. And at the temple? There's no training, no nothing. You join, and after you've washed a few corpses they show you were the faces are kept. When you need one, you go there, pick the one you want and you're all set. Still not sure about the meaning of the Jaqen and another Jaqen. They will bring Syrio back. wow What else? Ah wall. Sam decides to move to Oldtown with Gilly and the BABY, and he'll become a maester but he'll never give yup women. wowAnd Jon agrees, even though, 'oh I'm going to be all alone, but ok'. Whatever. HS and Cersei was fine. The short hair wig is absolutely horrendous, an abomination. I didn't understand why the crowd was throwing Branston pickle at her but fine. Ser Robert Strong. Meh. Marg and Loras have gone to the Riverlands. Either that or they fled on a row boat. :uhoh: Ah! Someone explain to me Chekhov's corkscrew, please? What was it used for? Wasn't it bloodied when Sansa dropped it to the floor? Drogon out of commission and Dany Damsel in distress. wow. For the Potatoes - called it one or two weeks ago - most underwhelming scene this year. WOW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Wraith Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Because D&D wanted it to happen Their excuse for everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvinus85 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 The mummer's farce is done. I've started a re-read of the books, and I am eagerly waiting for TWoW. That is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaimereborn Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Worst episode of GOT ever, bar the Walk Of Shame. That was a brilliant scene, but given Lena's fantastic acting, their access to an amazing city to shoot in, and an extremely powerful and detailed chapter from the books to draw from, even D&D would have struggled to screw it up. Also Arya's stuff was quite good as it actually felt true to the atmosphere of the show I used to love for the most part. But other than that, the whole Brienne/Stannis thing is the worst, most clumsy and poorly constructed arc in TV history. WTF is Brienne even doing in this show anymore. Standing around literally all season - in which time we are meant to believe she is continually watching one window without toilet breaks - until it is time for her convenient season finale run-in with a major character who she kills. Wait, didn't this crap happen in the S4 finale? And hang on didn't Stannis just have four seasons worth of build-up to a grand tragic end, burning his own daughter alive in the process? No, because instead we get this. We get Stannis apparently having escaped the entire battle bar two foot soliders, we get a glum resigned set of final lines, both for Stannis and Brienne. No sense of an arc coming full-circle, of regret, of emotion, of anything at all really. Fucking tripe. Dorne. What more can be said about what a waste of time this plot was? Not much. But my thoughts essentially add up to hating every moment of this. Hating how they've destroyed Jaime's character - how did he come from Season 3 dark, tormented, inspired Jaime to comical anti-hero Season 5 Jaime? Hating all the acting, hating the Sand Snakes on every possible level, hating how demented and irrational Ellaria is from the word go to that stupid dumbass plan to murder Myrcella while the boat is about 10 metres from the shore. Hating how Doran seems to have no 'master plan' and none of the characters have any dimension other than the one-note mode that D&D have written for them. So the two most controversial and upsetting scenes this season turned out (surprise surprise) to have no greater narrative purpose. Shireen was burned and yet we saw no remorse from Stannis, no actual fallout, no fucking BATTLE in the snow at all. Hell, they even decided to cut Davos' reaction to her death in the moment before we might have had an interesting engagement between two characters. Are these writers allergic to any kind of depth within their storytelling anymore? And the other scene was of course Sansa's rape. No people, she is not empowered, she is not finding ways of steering her own fate against all the odds, she is not using any of the skills she gained over the last few seasons. Unless of course you count her skill with a corkscrew, which she did a wonderful job of. No, instead it's Theon who steers her fate - by murdering yet another person - hey isn't that against his character development? Na, she's evil, it's fine. Onwards: I can't begin to express how bad the Meereen stuff was. Tyrion will save the city with the help of Grey Worm, who apparently will be listened to - because yeah individual Unsullied warriors are renowned by the citizens and will definitely be respected to rule their entire city. Oh and Varys has just been hiding behind that bush in Meereen so don't worry - there will be plenty of familiar faces next season as we watch Tyrion's sarcastic yet capable command of Meereen unfold. Meanwhile, Daario and Jorah will go hunting a pack of Uruk-Hai, sorry, Dothraki. Man I'm so glad they decided to cut out all the depth from Dany's alone-time in the wilderness too. What would the audience have done if confronted with a hint at psychological depth to one of the lead characters and an actual resolution to the conflict of peace v war, Meereen vs Westeros, mother of dragons vs 'mhysa', which this ENTIRE SEASON WAS MEANT TO REPRESENT. No screw that, let's just bring in the Dothraki and she can throw down that ring because she has an inkling that Daario and Jorah will scour every blade of grass in the region until they find a sign of her having been there. Lastly, the Wall. Well this was all telegraphed EVERY SINGLE EPISODE EVERY TIME WE SAW JON LOOK AT OLLY. But the way it was done felt rushed, unengaging and uncomplicated. Just like this entire season really. Kit's acting was poor really - there was no emotional punch to this scene and there definitely should have been. The 'traitor' thing was pathetic and also out of keeping with the fact the Nights Watch didn't really want to have to do this. Same goes for the 'Benjen prank'. It's really contrived and out of keeping with the way that this should have been more of a reactive, emotional, angry moment from the brothers of the Nights Watch against Jon, rather than a planned party trick. And this also seems to have taken place many days after Hardhome and in the meantime Jon's had his happy family chats with Sam while people have been standing around for days on end looking bored. Again, bad pacing, made no sense. Crap shot to end the season on. More complaints: why didn't we get any resolution with Littlefinger and the Tyrells? Why does Brienne still exist? Why is Balon still alive? Where the fuck is the Blackfish? What are the Freys doing? Where did Roose Bolton go? Where the fuck is Gendry? Only one thing is certain from here on out. Season 6 is going to be so, so, so bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twenty of House Goodmen Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Game of Thrones. Where House Tyrell is more plot relevant van than House Baratheon(no offense Good Guy Garlan, I do like the Tyrells, but it seems Margaery had more screen time than Stannis ever did). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 This is the era I guess where we have to question everything. i don't know why the showrunners would choose wildly different paths for storylines, but this sure is shit doesn't feel like where the Stannis storyline is going in the books. Hated everything about this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RGBeyondAsshai Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2015/06/14/game_of_thrones_season_five_finale_review_the_series_may_be_packed_with.html?wpsrc=fol_tw "This season of Game of Thrones was packed with murder and rape. It was also so, so boring" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Ghost of Someone Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Also did I miss something. What caused arya to go blind? bad moonshine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zombies That Were Promised Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 -Brienne called Renly the "rightful king" to...the rightful king. What??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Why did Theon suddenly decide to help Sansa at that moment? I mean there was no build up for this big change to make sense. Fuck. This. He went from Reek straight to Theon, and OFF CAMERA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twenty of House Goodmen Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 -Brienne called Renly the "rightful king" to...the rightful king. What???Perfectly in character to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misnthropia Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 FTW is a great scene--after years of denying his desire to help his family, Jon gives in, rallies an army to his side, and is cut down at the height of his triumph, by men who are legally and, some might say, morally justified in their actions. And they could have done it! Jon already turned down Winterfell--now he hears Sansa is in danger! Even without the Pink Letter, he could have declared he was leaving to save her--a logical result of what little character arc he's had! But no. He walks into a trap, because he's an idiot. So much this. Follow the carrot to Benjen. Weve been hiding him all these years in our dark cellar. Why was it so hard to just do it like it was in the damn books?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rise Above Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 -Brienne called Renly the "rightful king" to...the rightful king. What??? Everyone has a different idea of who "the rightful King" is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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