I'm an Ass

[Lily Valley]

If there was no one else in the line and it was an accident I wouldn't worry about it. I have a major pet peeve for people who get in the 10 items or less line with a cart full of groceries in front of a bunch of people who are just buying a couple of items. This attitude they have that their time is more important than everyone else's. Really irks me. And the cashiers never stop them or make them go to a normal line. Can't blame them though I suppose...not getting paid enough to get into a confrontation with someone like that especially if the manager is the "customer is always right" type. 

I came up with my own solution but of course have no power to implement it. You can get in the 10 items or less line with as many items as you want, but you get charged a $5 convenience fee for every item after the 10th. That'll stop 'em pretty fucking quickly. 

Nearly everyone here in any lane will let you cut if you have only a few items and they have a full cart.  Except at Whole Foods.  Also, the chit chat is a very important part of doing business.  

Last time I was a total ass at a store I went to buy catfood before coffee happened.  I failed to greet the clerk.  O MY GOD!  I might as well have shit on the floor.  Felt bad about it all day.

Also, I didn't make it to my friend's play this weekend.     Sunday was the last night..

Also....oh wait this isn't the confessions thread.

[Jace, Extat]

So I decided to be drunk tonight since the BF's stupid head is going to be at work. Long story short, I went to the store and picked up a bottle of Smirnoff Green Apple (let's see how it tastes), a small cut of NY strip, and a pre-marinated pork loin. I get really munchy when I'm drunk so I'll eat all of the steak, but if the BF isn't still sick there should be some tasty pork loin in the fridge when he gets home, hell we'll probably end up eating it together if I haven't passed out. (this was my non-asshole thinking)

I'm carrying these things up to the automated register and this young man who I see there all the time asks 'oh, are you and your husband having dinner?' In the most unintentionally dismissive way you can imagine I went 'heh... this is all for me.'

Which, again, I meant to say in a kinda playful way. Especially because it's not my intention to eat it all anyways. So that came out completely wrong and I could tell the moment I said it. But I didn't know what to say, so I just kinda laughed and went to checkout... and it gets worse...

I rarely carry cash, I don't like coins and change because obviously they're annoying. But today I just happened to have a very large bill on me that I figured I'd let the machine break down.

So, recap. Buying a bottle of liqueur and two cuts of not-inexpensive meat, make a really dismissive remark to the checkout attendant guy, and pay for my shit with a big bill. 

That's all just a situation. Here's where it gets into asshole territory.

Anyone else just love the smell and feel of a FRESH bill? After I put the money in the machine, it gave me my change. Which included a couple of the FRESHEST bills I've ever seen. Like, putting the bank to shame kinda fresh. I didn't want to put it in my wallet next to my nasty credit cards.

For some ungodly reason, and I don't recall ever having done this before... I smelled the money. In the middle of the automated checkouts. With the nice young man who makes minimum wage that I'd just been inadvertently rude to 3 feet away removing the lock-thingy from the top of my alcohol... I put the cash the machine had just spit out and completely oblivious to anything around me, I smelled the shit out of that money.

It took less than a second for me to realize the full asshattery I was displaying, and I got out of there like my hair was on fire. I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back... I don't know if I should. The young man and the rest of the customers probably think I was high or drunk, and I wish I had been because... yeah...

[Mr. X]

I'd say 80% of the population outside of New Jersey pays at the pump with a credit card. I think NJ is the only state that is all full serve. A smaller population will have to go into the store to pay cash ahead of time.

Pretty sure Oregon is still all full-serve. Also pretty sure it's the only place other than NJ that's all full-serve.

There were a number of places in my hometown in PA that were full-serve when I was growing up, but I can't remember if that was a town rule or just a station-by-station decision. Prices in NJ were substantially cheaper and we lived close enough to the Delaware river that crossing over to fill up was not a ridiculous option.

[Bonesy]

The question here is why do you hate your boyfriend so much, Jace? [emoji14]

/ass

[Jace, Extat]

The question here is why do you hate your boyfriend so much, Jace?

 

/ass

Oh, don't let my verbal abuse confuse you (he sure doesn't )

I totally love the dopey bastard, and my negative remarks aside I owe him more than I can ever repay. He's a terrific guy who looked past all of my wrongs, and never for a second do I believe the jokes I make about him. I know I'm not a smart or bright or special person, but I feel special for having him in my life. He makes me happy and that's all it's fair to ask for.

Not to devolve into sappiness (which I hate), but it's strange how much we fit together. I'm volatile and crazy, he's cool and calm. I hate and rage, he understands and appreciates (if you ever see a comment from me that seems morally significant or insightful, I probably stole it from him). I'm an athlete first and a nerd second, he's a total dudebro who reads Marcus Aurelius and lectures me about being a better and more moral person. He thinks football is excessively violent, and I think soccer causes depression. My favorite historical figure is Alexander of Macedon, his is Martin Luthor King Jr. We both agree that each of those men are amazing, but we'll argue for hours about whether my man was just a warmongering brute and how his didn't give a shit about women.

Make no mistake. My less-than-complimentary comments about him are a projection of my own failings, nothing more.

And the Smirnoff Apple is fucking disgusting, but I think it has at least gotten me drunk.

[Wise Fool]

 Finally I looked at her and smiled "Any plans for Thanksgiving?" Her face was an immovable piece of granite when she said "No. You?"

And suddenly I realized what a personal question that is. It's asking about her family, her friends, and other personal things in one fowl swoop. It's not really the right thing to ask of a total stranger who's just trying to get through their work day. So yeah I'm a jackass. How about you?

I don't see how you're a jackass. It's a fairly standard conversation piece, light, seasonal filler to pass the time. Cashiers ask that sort of thing with their customers for that reason, there's no reason it's suddenly rude if you ask them. No, she probably gave you that look because she'll be working on Thanksgiving... like I will... like the vast majority of grocery workers.

[Ser Creighton]

I'd say 80% of the population outside of New Jersey pays at the pump with a credit card. I think NJ is the only state that is all full serve. A smaller population will have to go into the store to pay cash ahead of time.

I'm talking about the people who pay at the pump, leave their car there to block anyone else from pumping and then head into the store to get their ding dongs, lottery tickets and cigarettes. Move your damn car out of the way! Its a big problem in the morning when i have to fill up.

Oh fuck me, the lottery tickets, I can't handle being behind someone buying lottery tickets. I am not talking about a couple of quick picks but the people who pull out their special lottery ticket folder and start going over numbers for 10 fucking minutes.

Anyway since this thread is about being an ass which seems to be my specialty I thought I would stop in and check out all those special little moments we have in our daily lives only to find everyone being super nice.

Oh sure one person accidentally used an express lane, and Theda does not stop to have random conversations on the street.

Let's see when I was 14 Jen P asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance also gave me a rose. To which I replied "I don't really like roses thanks anyway." Followed by "oh god your not going to cry now are you? Fuckkkkkk, could you at least do it someplace else." The first time I kissed a girl I called her by the wrong name. First time a girl told me she loved me I broke up with her, and the second time too, and one of them was my best friend. I didn't break up with her right away though I avoided her till her birthday and then when I was trapped I broke up with her. Honestly I still cringe about these moments but I also laugh. It seems like I am always exasperated about something.

I will tell off anyone at a store who tries to get me to donate money are get one of their cards, I don't need to carry around more crap and tell your multi billion dollar franchise they have plenty of money to give especially your billion dollar CEO who keeps most of his fucking money in a tax shelter. Why do I need to get one of your stupid ass cards to get a discount? Is it not enough that I spend a shit ton of money at your store? No I need to add you piece of shit discount card to my already over taxed pockets.

Oh here is an ass moment for you, you ever get someone in the drive thru that just takes forever? You know they were in line in front of you for 5 minutes but when it came time to order they had no clue what they wanted. Then they start talking to the kids, oh wait what do you want, oh billy your so silly, oh how is the movie, oh shit I am in the drive thru, gosh what do I want. Well when they stick their head out of the window to order, I just lay on the horn. Every time they try and talk. "Oh gosh my horn seems to be going very erratic every time you try and order. Gosh what has it been like 10 minutes and you still don't know? Do you need to ask the McDonalds another question about what is on the menu right in front of you?" If I see a family behind me at a drive thru I go extra slow, it's like karma to me. They deserve it always taking their screaming little monsters everywhere, thanks I am glad I paid 30 bucks for these movie tickets so I could hear your child cry and scream the entire time. Oh that was a fun plane ride, thanks for the migraine your kids suck.

I tell parents not leave me alone with their kids, yet for some odd reason they always do cause they think their kids are the best, and I will just adore them, because they are so special. They are not special they're almost always average at best. My revenge is to tell the kids the truth, about whatever question they ask, and I do it bluntly. Why did mommy and daddy leave? They are tired of you and needed a brake, and they probably want to get hammered and have sex. It's not that they don't love you, you are just annoying them, now cry yourselves to sleep.

Okay I don't actually do that last one, but I totally want too. But anyone one I know would never trust with their kids, poor little bastards would end up in therapy, most of them use me as a threat. Hey do any of you have any kids, I want to try an experiment, you know you don't like your kids, think of this as revenge for all those good years they have stolen from you. I am kidding I am sure some of you love your kids... really. 

[Bonesy]

Shit, Jace.

I was just being an ass in the being an ass thread.

Because I'm an ass. But thank you for sharing.

[Jace, Extat]

Shit, Jace.

 

I was just being an ass in the being an ass thread.

 

Because I'm an ass. But thank you for sharing.

Sorry, I may have gotten a bit defensive of my moron even though I knew you were being tongue-in-cheek. 

How often do you find a good looking bastard who not only accepts you're over your problems, but is willing to keep possession of them after you're coming off surgery for the 4th time in as many years, right?

To be honest, we both know I'd totally be more fun if I just went and bought a shitload of weed, but he accepts that I love having an important job even if it leaves me acting like a bitch. If that's not true love, I don't know what is...

[Theda Baratheon]

Ugh, oh man. I usually find assholes kinda funny sometimes but being rude to people just doing their job and going off on one of those fucking obnoxious, rude, ridiculous rants about discount cards and telling ME off for doing MY job (we are CONSTANTLY badgered to SELL MORE, SELL MORE or can be told off) is unforgivable. 

As if you would make a dumb as shit faux outrage about rich CEO's and multi-dollar companies to THE GIRL BEHIND THE TILL ON MINIMUM WAGE. You think she gives a clustering FUCK about you or your opinions on capitalism? She doesn't. You say "no thanks" and move on. 

Also people who shout at me (in case you couldn't tell I WORK RETAIL lol) for the PRICES of DVDs...I had one man scrunch up a piece of news paper (4 days old) with one price (obviously price had changed in those 4 days) and then he threw the newspaper ball in my face. This was after shouting at me and leaning forward slightly over the counter (he was v tall and scary) and saying he was going to "DO me for false advertisement" and I have had people when I ask the totally innocuous question "do you need a bag?" lift up the bag their holding silently, looking at me like I'm stupid and thrusting the bag towards me slightly only to dramatically put it loudly back down again. Assholes. THOSE are assholes. 

Then I am the MOST passive aggressive faux cheerful friendly sales assistant EVER. Oops...tag isn't coming off, let me try again...oops! Still not working. Let me try the machine alllllll the way over there *walks slowly to till furthest away* okay done! *walks slowly back* "i'm sorry i know i asked but do you need a bag?" *smiles patiently and waits for their answer* "okay. I know i asked. Long day! Woo!" *puts items through extremely slowly* oh woops! *drops one* "sorry!" "Okay! That's __________ £ please" *takes money and drops it* "woopsie!" *slowly looks for it* "got it!" *puts it into till at snails pace, hands back change just as slowly* "bye now!!! NEXT!!!!" and then i put through the next transaction at the speed of lightning hahahahh. 

[Dr. Pepper]

So I decided to be drunk tonight since the BF's stupid head is going to be at work. Long story short, I went to the store and picked up a bottle of Smirnoff Green Apple (let's see how it tastes), a small cut of NY strip, and a pre-marinated pork loin. I get really munchy when I'm drunk so I'll eat all of the steak, but if the BF isn't still sick there should be some tasty pork loin in the fridge when he gets home, hell we'll probably end up eating it together if I haven't passed out. (this was my non-asshole thinking)

I'm carrying these things up to the automated register and this young man who I see there all the time asks 'oh, are you and your husband having dinner?' In the most unintentionally dismissive way you can imagine I went 'heh... this is all for me.'

Which, again, I meant to say in a kinda playful way. Especially because it's not my intention to eat it all anyways. So that came out completely wrong and I could tell the moment I said it. But I didn't know what to say, so I just kinda laughed and went to checkout... and it gets worse...

I rarely carry cash, I don't like coins and change because obviously they're annoying. But today I just happened to have a very large bill on me that I figured I'd let the machine break down.

So, recap. Buying a bottle of liqueur and two cuts of not-inexpensive meat, make a really dismissive remark to the checkout attendant guy, and pay for my shit with a big bill. 

That's all just a situation. Here's where it gets into asshole territory.

Anyone else just love the smell and feel of a FRESH bill? After I put the money in the machine, it gave me my change. Which included a couple of the FRESHEST bills I've ever seen. Like, putting the bank to shame kinda fresh. I didn't want to put it in my wallet next to my nasty credit cards.

For some ungodly reason, and I don't recall ever having done this before... I smelled the money. In the middle of the automated checkouts. With the nice young man who makes minimum wage that I'd just been inadvertently rude to 3 feet away removing the lock-thingy from the top of my alcohol... I put the cash the machine had just spit out and completely oblivious to anything around me, I smelled the shit out of that money.

It took less than a second for me to realize the full asshattery I was displaying, and I got out of there like my hair was on fire. I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back... I don't know if I should. The young man and the rest of the customers probably think I was high or drunk, and I wish I had been because... yeah...

What you were smelling was probably someone's dirty butthole that they wiped just that morning right before they neglected to wash their hands and then they used that hand to pick their boogers and maybe used that same hand to pick up their dog poop.  It's the booger and poop smell.  Joke was on you, chica.  

 

On a similar note, I hate giving my card over to swipe.  Most swipe machines can be done by just the customer.  But once, I saw a cashier do gross things with her hands right before she took my card to swipe it.  Unintentionally, I was a total asshole.  I took my card by the very tip and lathered the thing in purel.  When I looked up she was looking at me like I was the worst piece of scum in all the world and then I realized what it looked like.  It appeared as though I was so disgusted by her as a human that I couldn't even stand to touch something she touched.  But really, I was just disgusted that there were slobber germs all over my card.  

[IamMe90]

Oh fuck me, the lottery tickets, I can't handle being behind someone buying lottery tickets. I am not talking about a couple of quick picks but the people who pull out their special lottery ticket folder and start going over numbers for 10 fucking minutes.

Anyway since this thread is about being an ass which seems to be my specialty I thought I would stop in and check out all those special little moments we have in our daily lives only to find everyone being super nice.

Oh sure one person accidentally used an express lane, and Theda does not stop to have random conversations on the street.

Let's see when I was 14 Jen P asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance also gave me a rose. To which I replied "I don't really like roses thanks anyway." Followed by "oh god your not going to cry now are you? Fuckkkkkk, could you at least do it someplace else." The first time I kissed a girl I called her by the wrong name. First time a girl told me she loved me I broke up with her, and the second time too, and one of them was my best friend. I didn't break up with her right away though I avoided her till her birthday and then when I was trapped I broke up with her. Honestly I still cringe about these moments but I also laugh. It seems like I am always exasperated about something.

I will tell off anyone at a store who tries to get me to donate money are get one of their cards, I don't need to carry around more crap and tell your multi billion dollar franchise they have plenty of money to give especially your billion dollar CEO who keeps most of his fucking money in a tax shelter. Why do I need to get one of your stupid ass cards to get a discount? Is it not enough that I spend a shit ton of money at your store? No I need to add you piece of shit discount card to my already over taxed pockets.

Oh here is an ass moment for you, you ever get someone in the drive thru that just takes forever? You know they were in line in front of you for 5 minutes but when it came time to order they had no clue what they wanted. Then they start talking to the kids, oh wait what do you want, oh billy your so silly, oh how is the movie, oh shit I am in the drive thru, gosh what do I want. Well when they stick their head out of the window to order, I just lay on the horn. Every time they try and talk. "Oh gosh my horn seems to be going very erratic every time you try and order. Gosh what has it been like 10 minutes and you still don't know? Do you need to ask the McDonalds another question about what is on the menu right in front of you?" If I see a family behind me at a drive thru I go extra slow, it's like karma to me. They deserve it always taking their screaming little monsters everywhere, thanks I am glad I paid 30 bucks for these movie tickets so I could hear your child cry and scream the entire time. Oh that was a fun plane ride, thanks for the migraine your kids suck.

I tell parents not leave me alone with their kids, yet for some odd reason they always do cause they think their kids are the best, and I will just adore them, because they are so special. They are not special they're almost always average at best. My revenge is to tell the kids the truth, about whatever question they ask, and I do it bluntly. Why did mommy and daddy leave? They are tired of you and needed a brake, and they probably want to get hammered and have sex. It's not that they don't love you, you are just annoying them, now cry yourselves to sleep.

Okay I don't actually do that last one, but I totally want too. But anyone one I know would never trust with their kids, poor little bastards would end up in therapy, most of them use me as a threat. Hey do any of you have any kids, I want to try an experiment, you know you don't like your kids, think of this as revenge for all those good years they have stolen from you. I am kidding I am sure some of you love your kids... really. 

Damn,  you're unapologetically awful.

[Ser Creighton]

Ugh, oh man. I usually find assholes kinda funny sometimes but being rude to people just doing their job and going off on one of those fucking obnoxious, rude, ridiculous rants about discount cards and telling ME off for doing MY job (we are CONSTANTLY badgered to SELL MORE, SELL MORE or can be told off) is unforgivable. 

As if you would make a dumb as shit faux outrage about rich CEO's and multi-dollar companies to THE GIRL BEHIND THE TILL ON MINIMUM WAGE. You think she gives a clustering FUCK about you or your opinions on capitalism? She doesn't. You say "no thanks" and move on. 

Also people who shout at me (in case you couldn't tell I WORK RETAIL lol) for the PRICES of DVDs...I had one man scrunch up a piece of news paper (4 days old) with one price (obviously price had changed in those 4 days) and then he threw the newspaper ball in my face. This was after shouting at me and leaning forward slightly over the counter (he was v tall and scary) and saying he was going to "DO me for false advertisement" and I have had people when I ask the totally innocuous question "do you need a bag?" lift up the bag their holding silently, looking at me like I'm stupid and thrusting the bag towards me slightly only to dramatically put it loudly back down again. Assholes. THOSE are assholes. 

Then I am the MOST passive aggressive faux cheerful friendly sales assistant EVER. Oops...tag isn't coming off, let me try again...oops! Still not working. Let me try the machine alllllll the way over there *walks slowly to till furthest away* okay done! *walks slowly back* "i'm sorry i know i asked but do you need a bag?" *smiles patiently and waits for their answer* "okay. I know i asked. Long day! Woo!" *puts items through extremely slowly* oh woops! *drops one* "sorry!" "Okay! That's __________ £ please" *takes money and drops it* "woopsie!" *slowly looks for it* "got it!" *puts it into till at snails pace, hands back change just as slowly* "bye now!!! NEXT!!!!" and then i put through the next transaction at the speed of lightning hahahahh. 

"and going off on one of those fucking obnoxious, rude, ridiculous rants about discount cards and telling ME off for doing MY job"

I do not believe we have ever met, nor would I have a clue if you worked in retail. Of course it is a rant it's a thread about being an asshole. And speaking of rants, please continue you are doing lovely.

"As if you would make a dumb as shit faux outrage about rich CEO's and multi-dollar companies to THE GIRL BEHIND THE TILL ON MINIMUM WAGE. You think she gives a clustering FUCK about you or your opinions on capitalism? She doesn't. You say "no thanks" and move on."

Of course I don't, I was being awful to be awful, the entire point of the post, being an ass. You think I care about discount cards? Really? I admit I get sick of being asked if I want one, because everyone does that these days, but what are you going to do. It's also not actually selling anything, the card is free, but you need it to get a discount. It used to be stores had sales now you need the special card to get the discount during the sale. What opinion on Capitalism did I give by the way? I can't even find that.

"Also people who shout at me (in case you couldn't tell I WORK RETAIL lol)"

No... really? I could not tell, when did I shout at you though? I mean you are cap shouting at me, but I don't recall shouting at you, ever. You know what I think, I think your a very sweet young woman who may not be as sweet as people think, and you internalize. I touched a nerve on a post that is by and large a joke and simply kept with the theme of thread. The theme being an ass is the theme of the thread. Now granted the stuff I said about my youth was 100% true, though you only have a very limited view of it. Like the girl who asked me to the dance, well she was good friend of mine, and I knew she had a crush on me, and I knew my best friend was in love with her. Wasn't the first time she asked me out either, it would of never worked, she was a good friend to me and nothing more. She is still married to Matt one of my best friends and I hooked them up on their first date. But that is not theme, and I still cringe when I think about hurting her feelings, but it was for the best.

The girl I called the wrong name, well it's more like I said the wrong name. We were talking about her and a friend of hers and they had been fighting and she did not want to talk about it, so she was using kissing to try and change the subject, and she did it mid sentence, so when she stopped I continued with the girls name. Did not stop her from being pissed because kissing didn't work, but it's not exactly what it appears in my post either.

Not going to lie I basically ran the first two times a girl told me they loved me. I was a kid it freaked me out, I won't apologize for that. But again not the theme of the thread and I admit I was an ass about it, but I was also freaked out.

The entire post I wrote is about being an ass and how to be an ass, because you were all being so nice and that is not the theme. Though I had no idea you are in retail, how could I? Do you actually think something that over the top is real? I don't like kids screaming in movie theaters or on planes and I think people who get lost using a drive thru should probably not use the drive thru as it is designed for speed. I don't experiment on my friends children or torture them either, that was a joke. A very over the top joke. Lets finish up with your post, it, seems you needed to vent about your job and that's okay, because in my line work that's all anyone ever does to us is vent. Though you do understand that most people have stress in the work place, just like you.

".I had one man scrunch up a piece of news paper (4 days old) with one price (obviously price had changed in those 4 days) and then he threw the newspaper ball in my face. This was after shouting at me and leaning forward slightly over the counter (he was v tall and scary) and saying he was going to "DO me for false advertisement"

That is when you call the police, though I am not sure how that relates to me not wanting a about 100 discount cards. I mean where do I put all of them when I go shopping? Look I am sorry that happened, but really false advertising is horrible, I can't believe you did that to an innocent man, did you ever think about his feelings? See now that is a joke, because it's a being an ass thread and it's really not that hard to be an ass. Which was the entire point of what I wrote, also I get calls to situations like that all the time and people can get scared and shaken up, we find that one of the best ways to get people to relax is use humor about the situation to calm them. It's a natural thing with laughing it releases stress naturally.

and I have had people when I ask the totally innocuous question "do you need a bag?" lift up the bag their holding silently, looking at me like I'm stupid and thrusting the bag towards me slightly only to dramatically put it loudly back down again. Assholes. THOSE are assholes.

Hahahahaha, wow, here I thought I was the exasperated one. You are totally venting, you are like full vent mode here. Okay, again it was a joke post keeping with the theme of the thread, and it was at no point directed at you, why would it be? All I implied was you all were being nice, which is not what the thread was about. It was not meant to hurt your feelings or upset you, again how would I know what you do for a living? And the post was so over the top, I end it with child experimentation, that is a dead give away.  You know what might be good? Career change. I know we all know that retail and services can deal with a lot of assholes, but lets be honest, just because you are nice... maybe I don't actually know you, does not mean everyone in every given field is nice. You got plenty of assholes in every industry.

"Then I am the MOST passive aggressive faux cheerful friendly sales assistant EVER."

No, no, you seem so friendly and like you really love your job. Seriously tell me how you really feel.

"Oops...tag isn't coming off, let me try again...oops! Still not working. Let me try the machine alllllll the way over there *walks slowly to till furthest away* okay done! *walks slowly back* "i'm sorry i know i asked but do you need a bag?" *smiles patiently and waits for their answer* "okay. I know i asked. Long day! Woo!" *puts items through extremely slowly* oh woops! *drops one* "sorry!" "Okay! That's __________ £ please" *takes money and drops it* "woopsie!" *slowly looks for it* "got it!" *puts it into till at snails pace, hands back change just as slowly* "bye now!!! NEXT!!!!" and then i put through the next transaction at the speed of lightning hahahahh."

Okay or maybe not tell me how you really feel. I take it back, what I said earlier about not meeting, I think we may have met. And I knew you guys did that shit on purpose, though nobody ever asks me if I want a bag, they just put stuff in the bag. Like if they just handed me like 3 large shopping bags worth of clothes sans the bag at Brooks Brothers I might give them a glance. I would, I would be like are you going to bag this shit or do I need to return it right now? If it makes you feel better, pretty much all the sales people I know send me Cards telling me how great it was working with me. Honestly it probably wasn't, but I am quick, I know what I want and I spend a lot of money. Oh and they never ask me if I want a card, I get the discount, and the invite to the private party. I love getting those, I never go, unless someone else wants to go. But it's nice that they want me to spend more of my money on them, very considerate.

I got a question since you work in retail, why do they call it working together when they send me a card or say goodbye? I wasn't working I was spending money, they were working. Also why do I need a discount card? Why can't something simply be on sale? What do I need another card for? Jewel had the card, then they ditched the card, and then they brought the card back. Why? It was better when it was gone. I go to 5-6 different grocery stores, Mariano's, Trader Joe's, Jewel, Whole Foods, CVS, Walgreens, that's 6 cards just to buy food and razors. ABT does not make me carry a card, and even if something isn't on sale, you can still haggle over the price. And none of that includes meat Seafood or bread. Guess what? More cards. Every clothing store has a discount card, just put it on sale or give me an app so I can just have it all on my phone. This is on sale if you have discount card. Why do I need a card?

See my rant was way less hostile then your rant. Not that you are are hostile, cause there is no anger there.

Seriously I hope you have a better a day, week, month, ummm maybe get one of those foot spa things, relax a bit, unwind, smoke a J, ummm breath, deep breaths, yoga maybe. You might think about skipping caffeine if you aren't already. Lovely rant by the way, really got the essence of your love for consumers and retail. I am going to hit the treadmill now, you don't live in the US right? So it's still safe for me to shop in stores here?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Ser Creighton]

Damn,  you're unapologetically awful.

I am horrible person I admit it. I might actually be evil. Hold on lets find out.

What you were smelling was probably someone's dirty butthole that they wiped just that morning right before they neglected to wash their hands and then they used that hand to pick their boogers and maybe used that same hand to pick up their dog poop.  It's the booger and poop smell.  Joke was on you, chica.  

 

On a similar note, I hate giving my card over to swipe.  Most swipe machines can be done by just the customer.  But once, I saw a cashier do gross things with her hands right before she took my card to swipe it.  Unintentionally, I was a total asshole.  I took my card by the very tip and lathered the thing in purel.  When I looked up she was looking at me like I was the worst piece of scum in all the world and then I realized what it looked like.  It appeared as though I was so disgusted by her as a human that I couldn't even stand to touch something she touched.  But really, I was just disgusted that there were slobber germs all over my card.  

That's gross, and again more retail complaints, this could be a thing. Doc where have you been and am I evil? Theda hurt my feelings, I am not sure, I think they were feelings, followed by a strange clear salty discharge from my eyes, like I had something in them, it was very strange.

Seriously where have you been, I never see you around anymore, granted I am never around, but I still Bump into Bumps, of course it is usually to tell me not to do something, but I do bump into her. You used to have that nice logical effect in general, not so much logic running around that place these days.

[Aint Nuthin But A HoundDog]

I love the full-service stations when I go through Jersey. I hate pumping gas. I wish we had the same thing in Maryland.

Doesn't it cost more, though? I'll endure just about any inconvenience to save a buck. Hell, if they had a drill-your-own-oil option to get discounted gas, I'd be the first in line. 

Back to the original subject and to the OP: I don't think you were an ass at all; just ... awkward. As the queen of awkward situations, I know all about that. I'm very much the introvert and any kind of small talk is almost physically painful for me, and as I result I often find myself blurting out something stupid and/or nonsensical in my desperation to appear "normal." But the best part is that some of the dumb things I say I'm doomed to relive in my head, over and over again ad nauseum, like a film loop, and it's equally mortifying with each showing. Yeah, life is fun like that. 

[Theda Baratheon]

I was purposefully ramping up my anger and assholery to match the thread lol thats why I didnt directly quote you because it would seem a bit personal and you said everyone was so nice in the thread earlier haha. I DO get angry at rude customers and it's black friday tomorrow and xmas around the corner so i think all retail workers go abit loopy and frustrated around this time  that said my seething, burning rage wasn't entirely genuine 

I thought you might be able to give as good as you get i didnt mean to genuinely come across as a real personal attack though im sorry 

[Theda Baratheon]

Lol i am in the UK so you are safe from my rage hahaaha and im actually really pleasant to customers. I think i probably need a new job tho phew almost popped a blood vessel earlier  

[HexMachina]

What you were smelling was probably someone's dirty butthole that they wiped just that morning right before they neglected to wash their hands and then they used that hand to pick their boogers and maybe used that same hand to pick up their dog poop.  It's the booger and poop smell.  Joke was on you, chica.  

 

On a similar note, I hate giving my card over to swipe.  Most swipe machines can be done by just the customer.  But once, I saw a cashier do gross things with her hands right before she took my card to swipe it.  Unintentionally, I was a total asshole.  I took my card by the very tip and lathered the thing in purel.  When I looked up she was looking at me like I was the worst piece of scum in all the world and then I realized what it looked like.  It appeared as though I was so disgusted by her as a human that I couldn't even stand to touch something she touched.  But really, I was just disgusted that there were slobber germs all over my card.  

Swipe cards are almost non-existent in the UK now so we tend not to have this problem. Most customers that use them (in my experience at least) tend to be from overseas. I think there may even be some stores that wont take them now, and i know when i was working in retail you had to get the signatures verified by supervisors/managers (which isually pissed the customer off but hey ho). 

 

And Theda, i love reading your retail rants  One of the best things about working in retail was lunch/coffee breaks where you could rant like that to your colleagues, lol

[Grimbold]

Damn folks, you need some stoic calm in your life.

[Theda Baratheon]

Swipe cards are almost non-existent in the UK now so we tend not to have this problem. Most customers that use them (in my experience at least) tend to be from overseas. I think there may even be some stores that wont take them now, and i know when i was working in retail you had to get the signatures verified by supervisors/managers (which isually pissed the customer off but hey ho). 

 

And Theda, i love reading your retail rants  One of the best things about working in retail was lunch/coffee breaks where you could rant like that to your colleagues, lol

hahahaha i love a good rant tbh. im very rarely genuinely angry and upset when making these rants i quite enjoy them  only fellow retail workers will understand how cathartic they can be. I dont genuinely hate all my customers  i quite like people, im much more optimistic about people than i used to be and thats after working in retail for two and a half yrs haha