I'm an Ass

[Inigima]

Doesn't it cost more, though? I'll endure just about any inconvenience to save a buck. Hell, if they had a drill-your-own-oil option to get discounted gas, I'd be the first in line. 

Nope, at least not compared to Maryland. I think a gas tax disparity is the reason but I don't know for sure. Either way I'd pay a few cents per gallon to not do it myself.

[Mr. X]

Doesn't it cost more, though? I'll endure just about any inconvenience to save a buck. Hell, if they had a drill-your-own-oil option to get discounted gas, I'd be the first in line. 

In my experience (growing up in PA and living in NY), gas in New Jersey is consistently the cheapest between NJ, PA, NY, and CT. 

[Guest]

There's a pretty badass doctor I know at work who I learned was going on vacation via regular work correspondence.  The next time I saw him I was casually like "How was Japan?"  He was like "what?"  And I was like "Didn't you get back from vacation?" And he was like "Yeah, Fiji."  I think I'd seen Fiji on the correspondence but my monkey brain went "Pacific Ocean / Mt. Fuji" with it and spewed out "Japan" when I saw him.  An only slightly-embarrassing encounter normally but with someone you want to impress making it a bit worse. 

[Aint Nuthin But A HoundDog]

Nope, at least not compared to Maryland. I think a gas tax disparity is the reason but I don't know for sure. Either way I'd pay a few cents per gallon to not do it myself.

Huh. I just assumed it would cost more. There used to be full-service islands here in WV alongside the pump-your-own, and I think there was some sort of surcharge for full service. (They also cleaned the windshields and checked the car's oil if requested.)

[A True Kaniggit]

There is really only one instance when I actually go out of my way to be an ass. And that is when there is a long line of traffic, because the highway is going down to one lane, and people try to bypass it and merge at the last second. Screw those guys! I'm not letting them in. 

[Liffguard]

There is really only one instance when I actually go out of my way to be an ass. And that is when there is a long line of traffic, because the highway is going down to one lane, and people try to bypass it and merge at the last second. Screw those guys! I'm not letting them in. 

They're actually doing what you're supposed to do. Queuing in both lanes reduces the length of the tailback. I see signs regularly that say "Please use both lanes whilst queuing. "

[zelticgar]

There is really only one instance when I actually go out of my way to be an ass. And that is when there is a long line of traffic, because the highway is going down to one lane, and people try to bypass it and merge at the last second. Screw those guys! I'm not letting them in. 

Yes, this is a big issue. Its supposed to be like a zipper, you always let one car in the other lane go ahead of you when lanes merge. The people that drive right up on the car in front of them and wont let the one car  into that lane are complete asses. My wife used to do this all the time but I shamed her into acting like a decent human and she follows the rule (at least with me in the car). 

The lane block dynamic is interesting. In most cases when people are interacting with others face to face in situations where you both get to the same queue at the same time our natural tendency is to yield and proactively let people go ahead of us. When in vehicles the instinct is the exact opposite.

 

[Damiana]

Once upon a time, my daughter and I were shopping at the mall. We'd stopped in one of the many trendy women's clothes shops to look around. One of the mannequins was wearing very tight, shiny silver booty shorts - the kind worn mostly by prostitutes and strippers. My young daughter, who was maybe 15 at the time, told me they were Jentina pants. (Cue my motherly, out-of-touch confusion.) I replied, "no, dear - those are sucky sucky five dollar pants." Suddenly, I felt this warmth at the back of my neck and turned to see this middle-aged Oriental lady glaring right at me. The look of withering contempt on her face told me that she somehow knew I was thinking of that scene from Full Metal Jacket. I had spoken in my own voice, with my own Texas accent, and I certainly didn't mean for the remark to sound as racist and insensitive as it did. I opened my mouth to apologize, but one of the more sensible voices in my head told me to shut up and run away, which is just what I did.

[Manhole Eunuchsbane]

^^^

[A True Kaniggit]

Yes, this is a big issue. Its supposed to be like a zipper, you always let one car in the other lane go ahead of you when lanes merge  

 

Yes. One car, that is OK. But when traffic is like this:

I

I

I (barrier, down to one lane)

II<jerkoff cutting

II<jerkoff  cutting

I

I

I

II<jerkoff cutting

I

I

I

I

and someone drives in the right lane to get to the front instead of getting in line, I'm not going to let them in. 

Edit: for clarification. 

[litechick]

I subscribe to the 'use both lanes' theory.  Or rather, the 'traffic must keep moving' theory.  I don't particularly care if someone is being aggressive so long as they pull it off with no interruption of the flow.  If you make me hit my brakes--you are a fucktard. I would rather go 3 mph consistently than stop and go 15 mph, ya know?

Part of this comes from driving big trucks where stopping/starting makes everything much more hideous for all of us. (I ain't winning any drag races in that thing.)

I will admit to at least one occasion when someone was trying to cut to the front of the line and I just said 'Kiss my ass.  I'm bigger than you so I am blocking the shit out of you.'  In that particular case people were passing on the shoulder.

Recently I was an ass because I was a slave to a polite reflex.  A colleague saw me on the street and stopped to tell me about a friend of his from the industry who had committed suicide.  We talked for a bit and at the end of the conversation I expressed sorrow for his loss but then I said, "have a nice day."  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

[Felguy]

I can't really be an ass. Except if those Indian Windows technical support people call here. I have to tell them to not call again and hang up,  multiple times because they call back. 

 

But then again they are asses for trying to scam me and other people so it cancels out. 

[JonSnow4President]

I can't really be an ass. Except if those Indian Windows technical support people call here. I have to tell them to not call again and hang up,  multiple times because they call back. 

 

But then again they are asses for trying to scam me and other people so it cancels out. 

Say something like "I'm so glad you called, my computer is on fire, and I have no idea what to do."  

They still try to sell you a "registry cleaner."

[Felguy]

Say something like "I'm so glad you called, my computer is on fire, and I have no idea what to do."  

They still try to sell you a "registry cleaner."

Will try next time.

 

 

[A True Kaniggit]

Okay, I think I am officially going to asshole hell.

I was at a coworkers birthday get together at a saloon, and as I was saying goodbye/shaking hands I accidentally knocked over someones bottle and spilt their last 15% of beer. I did not buy her a new one. Is there any salvation for me?

[Minstral]

Okay, I think I am officially going to asshole hell.

I was at a coworkers birthday get together at a saloon, and as I was saying goodbye/shaking hands I accidentally knocked over someones bottle and spilt their last 15% of beer. I did not buy her a new one. Is there any salvation for me?

Unfortunately.... there will be that special place in hell awaiting people like you and me.

One time I was at a sort of party I got drunk and vomited, of course I made a bit of an ass of myself for that. I was later accused of trying to use someones clothes to clean the mess up the next day (by my sister actually). The thing is that while I do quaff a lot when I really want to, I'll tend to remember every detail (not joking). So when I am told this later on during a bit of a hangover I got defensive and adamantly told her that it never happened. Aimed for the toilet, and got it in, and could not account for whatever was on someones clothes. I was pretty damn blunt in my speech looking back though, but it surprised me how taken aback my sister was when I said it.

[Sis Who Swears]

Okay, I think I am officially going to asshole hell.

I was at a coworkers birthday get together at a saloon, and as I was saying goodbye/shaking hands I accidentally knocked over someones bottle and spilt their last 15% of beer. I did not buy her a new one. Is there any salvation for me?

Nope, you are fucked. ANY time you spill someone else's drink, you buy them another. Whether there was 15% left (how the HELL did you come up with that number) or 95% left. To do less is totally an asshole move.

[A True Kaniggit]

1. Nope, you are fucked. ANY time you spill someone else's drink, you buy them another. Whether there was 15% left 2. (how the HELL did you come up with that number) or 95% left. To do less is totally an asshole move.

1. Damn, I was afraid of that.

2. Drunk math. It look like more than 10% but less than 20%.