Foreverlad Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 [quote name='Will' post='1443929' date='Jul 17 2008, 05.19']Say you heathen? I say Heretic! Beware, my son, and stray not from the path of the Discordant Lemming, for the Lemming is a tricksy critter and the path, once lost may prove difficult to find again. The Creator, in His wisdom, sent His only begotten Son into the world that He might rip of the spines. The Son was sent--it is true--unyearded, but the Son's work was ever watched over by the Father, and the Father wore upon his pointed dome the one true Yeard and in this way was the Father's wisdom passed down to the Son. Richard--may he continue to touch us--is not divine in and of himself, but only because he is the favoured child of a Yearded creator. It is all very meta, but it is the only true Truth when you come to understand it. Could a mere mortal arbitrate morality as keenly the Goodkind does? Of course not. It follows that He is the mouth-piece of some super-mortal agent, and what agent is more holy than a Yeard? The Yeard is cleaved in twain. One part is seated over the brain that the host might know Truth, and the other is seated on the jaw and about the lips that the host might speak Truth. Repent your heresy and submit lest I be forced to declare schism in the house of the Lemming.[/quote] Swedish grandmothers everywhere cross their legs in fear of such declarations. I submit, but only because I have not the strength to mock further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 ... I think you guys have just killed my bullshit receptors for today Thank you all. I hate all of you, except for the Lemmings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mme Erzulie Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Aw, such a shame. I was envisioning Protestant and Orthodox Lemmings. Yeardites and Truthyists. Bloody rebellion, wars that upheave the world order. Debates of iconoclastic proportions. Torture! Testivores! Almost-Rape! Jaw-kicking! Leather-clad Lesbians! Pseudo-Chickens! Goats! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 There is only one way to settle this. Two statues must be built of Tairy, one Yearded, one Yeardless. Whichever makes the most people drop to their knees weeping is the Truthiest and shall be duly worshipped. All those who resist shall be branded as heretics. You have until the end of the day to build your statues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreverlad Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 [quote name='Moosicus' post='1443959' date='Jul 17 2008, 06.20']There is only one way to settle this. Two statues must be built of Tairy, one Yearded, one Yeardless. Whichever makes the most people drop to their knees weeping is the Truthiest and shall be duly worshipped. All those who resist shall be branded as heretics. You have until the end of the day to build your statues.[/quote] I was soooo going to put Goodkind's head on Mt Rushmore, but I just don't have the stomach for staring at the face for extended periods of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 .. People don't realize that Yeard is a symbol of mankind's failure Richard doesn't have a Yeard. the closest he gets is a beard, but he uses totally awesome [s]magic[/s] logic to make it disappear. As Richard is awesome, we must assume that Yeardlessness, as such, is also awesome. As such, TG's portrayal of Yeardlessness, making it a beard and a bald, is accurate. Any who claim that a Yeard is the high path are 13 year old middle eastern swedish grandmothers who aren't mature enough to get the books and skim. And possibly like Qwerty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ecchi-Oni Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I step away from here due to life happening to me and when i come back i find Tairy WITHOUT A YEARD!!!! I demand answers!.. or ice-cream if anyone has any. Either way is fine really. Anyway, how can anyone say that Richard "The One" Rahl doesn't have a Yeard. Have he ever had a shave or a haircut during the course of the books? And as we all know reason is the only sovereign thus Richard has the Yeard. Or maybe not... Love how Tairy is trying to look like a Bond villain :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreverlad Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 [quote name='Ecchi-Oni' post='1445029' date='Jul 17 2008, 20.33']I step away from here due to life happening to me and when i come back i find Tairy WITHOUT A YEARD!!!! I demand answers!.. or ice-cream if anyone has any. Either way is fine really. Anyway, how can anyone say that Richard "The One" Rahl doesn't have a Yeard. Have he ever had a shave or a haircut during the course of the books? And as we all know reason is the only sovereign thus Richard has the Yeard. Or maybe not... Love how Tairy is trying to look like a Bond villain :D[/quote] Actually, among his other many talents, Richard can cut hair, as evidenced (and explained) while evening out Rachel's hair back in Wizard's First Rule. As for the beard, Richard specifically grew one out as a sign of his slavery to the Sisters of the Light. It didn't please Kahlan when they were reunited (as per standard Goodkind operating procedure, they were seperated for the majority of the book) so Richard magic-ed it away. So, as I explained earlier, the most essential moments of Goodkindian Yeardism existed without our glorious protagonist riding a yeard. As for ice cream, what kind of socialist movement do you think we're running here?!? Go get your own damn ice cream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kheldar Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 [quote name='Ecchi-Oni' post='1445029' date='Jul 17 2008, 20.33']I step away from here due to life happening to me and when i come back i find Tairy WITHOUT A YEARD!!!! I demand answers!.. or ice-cream if anyone has any. Either way is fine really. Anyway, how can anyone say that Richard "The One" Rahl doesn't have a Yeard. Have he ever had a shave or a haircut during the course of the books? And as we all know reason is the only sovereign thus Richard has the Yeard. Or maybe not... Love how Tairy is trying to look like a Bond villain :D[/quote] The books also don't tell you every time someone has to take a leak, or eat some food. Are we to surmise, then, that Richard never has to urinate, and that he gets most of his nutrition from the air? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 Well, as the book tells us that Kahlan arrives in the Westlands after a few weeks' rough travel, with perfect hair and clean dress, carrying nothing but a small pouch, I suspect that the characters DO live on air (and have the pixies do their hair and laundry while they sleep). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mashiara Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 The Yeard is gone?? :stunned: I hadn't checked this thread in a while, I'm glad I took the time to read back. Some total stranger sent me a message on Facebook earlier today congratulating me on my taste in books and saying that all I need to make my collection perfect is to read The Sword of Truth series by Goodkind. :lol: To which I replied that to my eternal shame I have read those books and I think Goodkind is one of the worst writers alive. And that a) he ripped off Jordan and B) he keeps preaching his incoherent philosophy. I told him to go read some of Tairy's interviews to see what I mean. Oh, and I think I also mentioned something about him not writing fantasy but dealing with important human themes (even though that doesn't translate as well in Greek.) In the very likely case that the guy is a rabid Goodkind fan who will be mortally offended by my comments, can anyone give me the links to some of Tairy's most entertaining interviews? I have a feeling they'll come in handy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreverlad Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 [quote name='Kheldar' post='1445510' date='Jul 18 2008, 08.30']The books also don't tell you every time someone has to take a leak, or eat some food. Are we to surmise, then, that Richard never has to urinate, and that he gets most of his nutrition from the air?[/quote] Kheldar my friend, If Terry spent all his time explaining the mundane, when would he get around to the spinal excavations? :P As for nutrition, anyone who's read the books knows it's spice soup or human flesh that does a body good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 [quote name='Moosicus' post='1443959' date='Jul 17 2008, 05.20']There is only one way to settle this. Two statues must be built of Tairy, one Yearded, one Yeardless. Whichever makes the most people drop to their knees weeping is the Truthiest and shall be duly worshipped. All those who resist shall be branded as heretics. You have until the end of the day to build your statues.[/quote] [url="http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b209/Jaxom_27/zod_head.jpg"]KNEEL BEFORE TERRY![/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 Hey, Lemmings! What do you think? Should one give the new Steve Ditko bio by Blake Bell ([i]Strange and Stranger: The World of Steve Ditko[/i]) a shot? He was as much of a whacko for O'ism as Tairy is...could make for entertaining reading... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kheldar Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 [quote name='MinDonner' post='1445602' date='Jul 18 2008, 09.31']Well, as the book tells us that Kahlan arrives in the Westlands after a few weeks' rough travel, with perfect hair and clean dress, carrying nothing but a small pouch, I suspect that the characters DO live on air (and have the pixies do their hair and laundry while they sleep).[/quote] I'm married. I know how much women are concerned about appearance. Kahlan probably spent 3 hours every day fixing her hair and washing her clothes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ecchi-Oni Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 [quote name='Kheldar' post='1446127' date='Jul 18 2008, 10.50']I'm married. I know how much women are concerned about appearance. Kahlan probably spent 3 hours every day fixing her hair and washing her clothes.[/quote] And quad members knew better than to interfere? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 [quote name='Kheldar']I'm married. I know how much women are concerned about appearance. Kahlan probably spent 3 hours every day fixing her hair and washing her clothes.[/quote] Or TG didn't care or notice that. I'm actually pretty fine with what he did. It's an obviously bad author thing to do, but I'm not gonna be upset with it at all. It may be because I'm probably the most Zen I've ever been, but if TG decides that story needs come before logic, he can be happy doing it. I know very few women who, when they have to go to wilderness places, bring things that help them fix heir hair and clothes. Most of the ones I know would actually get quite upset at the generalization. Even the most air-headed ones I know, who can't last a day without lipstick, have done better in a class trip. I assume that trekking through Midlands and Westlands with a small stop at the TG equivalent of hell is a bit more challenging then a 3 day trip to the Negev desert, at winter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arthmail Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 On top of that, this is similar to the middle ages. So while she might care to some extend, chances are zero she's going to show up presentable as the bride for a wedding. I have to leave this thread for good, but its so addictive. Its just every time i hear some new piece of stupid shit from the books, i lose control. Worst series ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kheldar Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 [quote name='Ecchi-Oni' post='1446164' date='Jul 18 2008, 14.07']And quad members knew better than to interfere?[/quote] Woe to the man who musses a woman's hair after she spent 2 hours getting it just right. (At least, woe to him who musses it before the proper time ;)) [quote name='The Pita Enigma' post='1446223' date='Jul 18 2008, 14.47']I know very few women who, when they have to go to wilderness places, bring things that help them fix heir hair and clothes. Most of the ones I know would actually get quite upset at the generalization.[/quote] Look at my avatar again...it'll give you a hint about how the comment was intended. [quote name='The Pita Enigma' post='1446223' date='Jul 18 2008, 14.47']I assume that trekking through Midlands and Westlands with a small stop at the TG equivalent of hell is a bit more challenging then a 3 day trip to the Negev desert, at winter.[/quote] Probably. Those adept at such travel, though, are probably better at avoiding things that will get them extremely dirty. And I know that if I had to take a trip through Hell, I'd probably want to scrub myself thoroughly afterward. Besides, why would someone be attracted to a nasty, stinky, travel-stained woman with tangled hair and severely soiled clothes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 [quote name='Kheldar']Besides, why would someone be attracted to a nasty, stinky, travel-stained woman with tangled hair and severely soiled clothes?[/quote] Which is why, in my post, I addressed the possibility that TG didn't want to deal with it, and wanted to create a situation in which it would be love at first sight, instead of "You have to shower" at first sight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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