How big is too big? ...well it was THIS BIG. update pg 13!

[Jaxom 1974]

I'm now worried it's a bit gay though... what do you think?

I think there were more gay romans than the history books tell us. So what though? If he likes it, don't tell him what about your second thoughts! Let him enjoy it.

[Kelli Fury]

What you don't understand, Aedan, is that things like jewelry and flowers are trophies to many women. You display them like scalps for other women to see proof your conquest. One of my exes used to send flowers to my work all the time and clients and female coworkers would say, "aww, he must really love you." I thought that was stupid and a little embarrassing, but tons of women live for that shit. They want people to think they are loved and cared for (and really, with Disney and women's magazines, we are taught that our worth can be measured in our ability to catch a man) because it makes it look like there is something special about you.

[quirksome]

So true, Ms Fury.

Aedan - So when does the socially useful action of dressing up professionally/attractively and adorning oneself with trinkets metamorphosize into vanity? Engagement rings are a convention of 30 years' standing, is it wrong to want a culturally normative symbol?

[quirksome]

Hahahhaha what, seriously? It's a nice ring, more importantly he loves it, and you're worried it's "a bit gay"? (Oh no! Not the homosexuality!)

Well... there is some context to this. It's a long-running joke among our friends that Mr Q wears the skirts in our relationship. I'm the straightforward, practical, decisive emotionally incompetent partner, he's the listening, caring, patient, stable, emotional partner.

And about the presumed sexuality... you see, Mr Q likes interior design, cooking, ballroom dancing and working out. He has long floppy hair and wears fashionable suits. He has a mellifluous upper class voice and at least eight neurotic girls have him on their speed dial for dating advice. Put it this way... if one didn't know him personally, one would not be alone in questioning Mr Q's directionality. Hence my worry that I'm pansifying him. :worried:

And when we went gift shopping in the Rituals aromatherapy boutique in St Pancras, I swear all the assistants thought he was gay! Just because he was wearing my pashmina, sniffing all the smelly stuff and asking questions about perfume notes. They were totally paying more attention to him than me!!! :tantrum:

[snowleo]

I just have to show off my husband's awesome ring, which is made of OUTER SPACE. http://www.chrisploof.com/meteorite.html

My own ~1 carat ring belonged to my husband's grandmother. I kept it in its original white gold setting and added a pink sapphire "enhancement" band. It's small enough not to interfere with all the latex gloves I go through at work, which mattered to me, since I wanted to wear it all the time. I was actually surprised to get a ring at all, since my husband was a student-loan burdened PhD candidate. I would not have wanted my husband to spend anything on a ring--pay down the loans, instead! That said, I'm irrationally happy with my sparkly diamond :)

snow "not too big" leo

[Seventh Pup]

What you don't understand, Aedan, is that things like jewelry and flowers are trophies to many women. You display them like scalps for other women to see proof your conquest. One of my exes used to send flowers to my work all the time and clients and female coworkers would say, "aww, he must really love you." I thought that was stupid and a little embarrassing, but tons of women live for that shit. They want people to think they are loved and cared for (and really, with Disney and women's magazines, we are taught that our worth can be measured in our ability to catch a man) because it makes it look like there is something special about you.

I'm not dening that a lot of women do take a lot of pride in displays of affection by their partners. Or that their are women who play try to one up each other. But I will say that I think it is a bit more then that to most of us who delight in flowers and rings.

For myself when I look at my ring I do not see something sparkly that proves my husband loves me. I see a piece of future history, a link to this moment in time that I will hopefully have for the rest of my life. That when I am an old grey bitty with one tooth and a mess of grandchildren, I can look down at and remember this moment, the moment we committed ourselves for life. A moment before kids, morgages, or any reason other then love to be together. We are building this great future for ourselves, and I can't wait to live that life, but I love that I have this bookmark, this beautiful reminder of right now. I love the idea of passing it off on to future generation when I'm gone.

Since I plan to wear it every day for the rest of my life I like that it is beautiful. That it was well thought out, and unique. I love that I love looking it.

For the flowers and such, I just love that I'm with someone who is proud to be with me. Who understands me enough to know that I love them. And who doesn't take me for granted. I like not feeling like the invisible, or convienient SO. I also just really love flowers.

[Ixodes]

I just have to show off my husband's awesome ring, which is made of OUTER SPACE. http://www.chrisploo.../meteorite.html

Those rings are really cool. I wish I would have seen them 9 years ago when I was ring shopping.

[Whitestripe]

ok I've decided the I want a Chris Ploof ring/. Luckily for me, he has work in a gallery in Syracuse, just a few blocks from my beloved's workplace. Christmas is coming, after all.

[kiko]

Hmmmm. What do people think about non-matching rings? I would like yellow gold, but Mr Q would like platinum/white gold. Those colours also suit our respective skin tones better. Is yellow gold seen as too old-fashioned? (Yes I care about what others think. I probably shouldn't. Whatever.)

Hah! Easy solution to that problem. Our wedding rings match the West European skin as well as the East Asian

https://www.dropbox.com/s/3ebphtwehu9v5ct/DSC00359.JPG

[quirksome]

Hah! Easy solution to that problem. Our wedding rings match the West European skin as well as the East Asian

https://www.dropbox....ct/DSC00359.JPG

:idea:

I just have to show off my husband's awesome ring, which is made of OUTER SPACE. http://www.chrisploo.../meteorite.html

I want to get this for him SO BADLY.

[kellaria]

I just have to show off my husband's awesome ring, which is made of OUTER SPACE. http://www.chrisploo.../meteorite.html

Those are so cool! I wish my husband and I had known those existed before we got married.

I've been married for four years and I don't have a wedding ring. My husband does, but mine was thrown down an open drain by our toddler son. Fortunately it couldn't have been worth more than $250 because it was a cheap piece of crap. We couldn't afford nice rings when we decided to get married, so I picked an inexpensive, low-quality platinum band with a microscopic diamond that was probably fake. My engagement ring was ruined when I crammed it on the wrong finger whilst drunk and had to have it cut off after walking around for two weeks with a really swollen right index finder. It was also pretty cheap.

My husband makes 5x what he was making four years ago now, but he won't buy me a suitable replacement just yet because he (rightfully) believes I will lose it. He wants to wait until our son is a little older, when I'll hopefully be less of a scatterbrained wreck. I would like a very nice but conservative diamond. Not really into "bling" myself, but I have to admit I do look at other women's rings and wonder if their husbands love them more than mine loves me... although I must remind myself that men are also tuned into the status quo of engagement/wedding rings and will spend absurd amounts of money just to prove they can buy a better ring to other men.

[Guest Raidne]

Does your husband not believe in insurance? Will you lose my ring?

[Seli]

I just have to show off my husband's awesome ring, which is made of OUTER SPACE. http://www.chrisploo.../meteorite.html

My own ~1 carat ring belonged to my husband's grandmother. I kept it in its original white gold setting and added a pink sapphire "enhancement" band. It's small enough not to interfere with all the latex gloves I go through at work, which mattered to me, since I wanted to wear it all the time. I was actually surprised to get a ring at all, since my husband was a student-loan burdened PhD candidate. I would not have wanted my husband to spend anything on a ring--pay down the loans, instead! That said, I'm irrationally happy with my sparkly diamond :)

snow "not too big" leo

I love the idea, I first encountered it when Peter Watts showed off the rings he and Caitlin Sweet got when they married http://www.rifters.c...ws-of-Power.jpg

[quirksome]

A Sudden and Unexpected Update! Mr Q proposed to me yesterday and I am extremely happy and most surprised!

We drove up to Oxford on the Sunday on the pretext that “There are some course books in the history library and they’re only available in Oxford.” (I was totally fooled – you need books! Of course I’ll come with you!) Before we went to the departmental library, Mr Q suggested we walk around Merton college, where I was an undergraduate.

When we reached the Stone Table which supposedly inspired C.S.Lewis’ Stone Table in the Narnia books, I stood up on the bench to point out where I used to row on the river and when I turned around he was standing there with the ring. We both cried and I said YES!

Apparently he had planned it three months ago, and I thought I was being so clever in hinting about rings and “informing” him about the 4Cs. By the time I had started this thread, my devilishly scheming chap had already found the perfect diamond!

He had asked a friend to buy it wholesale in Dubai, it’s an Ideal Round Brilliant, a carat (the perfect size for my little hand!), very very clear and white VVS1/E on a gold metal band, with a Tiffany 6 prong white gold setting. I love it, but I love the fact that he proposed in a place which has such emotional resonance for me more.

A happy end to the thread! :wub:

[a wooden chair]

Congrats Q! Now I need to find something else to tease over.

[Minaku]

A Sudden and Unexpected Update! Mr Q proposed to me yesterday and I am extremely happy and most surprised!

We drove up to Oxford on the Sunday on the pretext that “There are some course books in the history library and they’re only available in Oxford.” (I was totally fooled – you need books! Of course I’ll come with you!) Before we went to the departmental library, Mr Q suggested we walk around Merton college, where I was an undergraduate.

When we reached the Stone Table which supposedly inspired C.S.Lewis’ Stone Table in the Narnia books, I stood up on the bench to point out where I used to row on the river and when I turned around he was standing there with the ring. We both cried and I said YES!

Apparently he had planned it three months ago, and I thought I was being so clever in hinting about rings and “informing” him about the 4Cs. By the time I had started this thread, my devilishly scheming chap had already found the perfect diamond!

He had asked a friend to buy it wholesale in Dubai, it’s an Ideal Round Brilliant, a carat (the perfect size for my little hand!), very very clear and white VVS1/E on a gold metal band, with a Tiffany 6 prong white gold setting. I love it, but I love the fact that he proposed in a place which has such emotional resonance for me more.

A happy end to the thread! :wub:

Congratulations, Q!

With a VVS1/E stone, you better be putting out eyes at 20 paces with the laser on your hand.

[Sis Who Swears]

Congrats Quirksome, awesome proposal! Well done, Mr. Q.

[Nichole]

Congrats! Sounds like a very lovely proposal.

[The Warmth of Winter]

Congratulations Quirksome! Sounds like a perfect proposal.

[Ixodes]

I bet he was trying not to laugh everytime you casually brought up diamond info. I would have played ignorant and talk about cubic zirconia with every hint you dropped.

Congrats! Sounds like a wonderful proposal.