Dating: “I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone.”

[Swordfish]

8 hours ago, Datepalm said:

So someone asked me out, I think...someone I have a couple of classes with, have spoken to quite a bit, am acquainted with on a day-to-day basis, and he probably doesn't intend to pick my brain about research proposals and there were no apps involved. And he's...ok, I guess. Likeable? I dunno. Someone I actually thought of when trying to experiement - at least mentally - with the idea of asking someone out. So kind of the ideal situation in my sense of needing someone else to make the I-ask-you effort just the once (not involving academics, economic modeling or their wife.)

Naturally, since then (yesterday) I've been vaguely awkward around him and now wish I didn't have to see him today. (To be clear, I agreed, there's just not a date on it.) This is why I keep trying to leave the country and avoid my life. Living it in 1-to-3 month increments separated by airports is just so much more conductive...

You should consider finding something you're interested in and proposing the details.

'Hey, I know we agreed to go out, and there's this <XXX> on <date>, want to check it out?'

 

[Red Tiger]

I thought Datepalm was just venting.

[Datepalm]

Processing. Processing. It's like venting but without the relief.

[Arkhangel]

Was it a 'do you want to get drinks some time?' semi-casual scenario, or does he want to go on more of a serious dinner date kind of thing?

My trainer at the gym is super hot, and it sucks because I have a personal rule against hitting on people in customer service jobs while they're at work. I almost want someone less attractive to replace him. Almost.

[Datepalm]

"How about we get a beer sometime, like outside of here." Very casual.

mmm, is it a motivating abstract hotness, or a do-something-about-it hotness? I spent a semester basically only turning up for a 6 PM statistics class once because the teacher was a dorky-hot TA who got my Douglas Adams references, but it didn't require anything beyond that.

[sologdin]

you might message something similar to:

Quote

Tomorrow, you are ordered to appear at my residence, [address], for drinks, dinner, and lasciviousness.

there is no limit to this technique; it'll knock their blocks off.

[Arkhangel]

16 hours ago, Datepalm said:

"How about we get a beer sometime, like outside of here." Very casual.

mmm, is it a motivating abstract hotness, or a do-something-about-it hotness? I spent a semester basically only turning up for a 6 PM statistics class once because the teacher was a dorky-hot TA who got my Douglas Adams references, but it didn't require anything beyond that.

Excellent, it's really the best kind of first date because there's no pressure and if it turns there's no chemistry you can both just pretend it was always a friendly beer. Nothing to lose!

Hot in the sense that in another context I would absolutely do something about it, but like I said, I have a personal ban on hitting on people in their workplaces especially if it's a customer service role. I think it's shitty when men hit on the female instructors, and so really couldn't justify doing the same myself just because the gender roles are reversed. Goddamn ethics always ruining everything *mutter mutter*...

[Datepalm]

I'm trying to decide between two classes in the same timeslot, which have a fairly balanced list of pros and cons...clearly, the fact the Chemistry Guy (ie, Second Indian PhD Guy, ie, that guy I went out with twice a year ago who then semi-ghosted the whole thing, ie, quantitatively speaking, the most serious relationship of my life) is inexplicably in the hallway outside one of them (why the hell is he even in this campus? I though the all hard-sciences people were required to spontaneously burst into flames if they aren't eaten by the trolls in the psych experiments basement if they wander this deep into Social Sciences,) both of us making strict point of not acknowledging having spotted the other, like characters in a China Mieville landscape...is a legitimate and effective way to choose between the two classes, is my point, looking for silver linings? Right?

Then I get a text from an Indian number which turns out to be a clingy guy from Pune I went out with once three months ago to no particular success who I haven't heard a peep from since but a. appears to think I'm in Iran (I'm fine with that), b. really wants to keep touch all of the sudden (I'm not fine with that) because of course these things would happen in the same 200 seconds.

 

 

[Lily Valley]

Because this year wasn't miserable enough, I reopened my OKC profile.  Let the games begin. 

I sent out a couple of messages, why not.  The floodgates have opened.  Already have a full mailbox from the LAST go-round.  I deleted 50 "Hey cutie" messages.  Had to update my profile pictures.  It turns out I don't have a great body shot.  Well, my to do list today just got longer. 

Also, do I have to tweeze my eyebrows?  They're completely out of control, but I don't have to look at them, so I just don't really care.

My last date was on election night and, er, it didn't go very well.  Gary was back in town last month and we hooked up once or twice (Quit LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT INI, I KNOW!)

 

[Larry of the Lawn]

1 hour ago, Lily Valley said:

Because this year wasn't miserable enough, I reopened my OKC profile.  Let the games begin. 

I sent out a couple of messages, why not.  The floodgates have opened.  Already have a full mailbox from the LAST go-round.  I deleted 50 "Hey cutie" messages.  Had to update my profile pictures.  It turns out I don't have a great body shot.  Well, my to do list today just got longer. 

Also, do I have to tweeze my eyebrows?  They're completely out of control, but I don't have to look at them, so I just don't really care.

My last date was on election night and, er, it didn't go very well.  Gary was back in town last month and we hooked up once or twice (Quit LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT INI, I KNOW!)

 

Best of luck on there, Lily.  I too have recently gone back down the OKC and Tinder double-barrelled rabbithole.  it didn't last very long, though, using the apps on my phone felt like playing a video game or something.  Will take another spelunking expedition into online dating in a few weeks when I can give it some more attention.  

Did have a couple of tinder dates, but both canceled on me, one just disappeared and the other gave me plenty of notice. 

Also hooked up with my roomie / exgf a few times in the last couple weeks.   Which was probably stupid, but weirdly enough hasn't been weird at all.  

[Lily Valley]

Every single guy I have a high match rate with loves Stephenson.  Every.  Single.  One.   OKCupid's robot just yelled at me for answering 10 questions in a row as irrelevant, yet they don't screen for STEPHENSON????    I don't care if someone likes the taste of beer or not.  I care about whether or not they fill their minds with boring drivel and like it enough to include it as a talking point on their profile. 

Adoration of Stephenson was the ONLY specific listed on one guy's profile.  I mean REALLY?   That's the only thing you can tell me about yourself? 

Also, 95% of the men my age have their limit set from 20 years younger to 1-2 years older.  

:gives up and gets six more cats:

[Datepalm]

Stephenson is a problem.

[Liffguard]

All of my dating success has been through online sites, so you'd think I'd be a big fan. But I'm increasingly coming to the conclusion that the previous successes were complete flukes. Online dating is just soul-draining. Depending on the site I either have like, four possible matches total or I have to wade through an endless sea of "I'm down to earth and love to laugh. My hobbies are socialising and watching TV."

 

Fuck it, I'm going to become a celibate zen warrior monk.

[Larry of the Lawn]

26 minutes ago, Liffguard said:

 

 

Fuck it, I'm going to become a celibate zen warrior monk.

Of course, this will probably attract a legion of amorous prospects.

[Theda Baratheon]

I'm kinda scared of online dating lmao I think the only people really attracted to me are creepy nerds who put me on a pedestal because I like movies and videogames...like...a lot of other people in their 20s...and I've got no time for it..I feel like I'm betraying my people to say nerds are some of the worst at being creepy and entitled ...and I just don't want to stay indoors and just watch movies anymore like lots of guys who seem to like me want to do and I also can't be bothered to be tied to one person and am also kind of not a great prospect in a romantic partner as I'm basically away with the faeries almost all the time and don't have a lot to give but I also just want to date!!! and meet people!!! And kiss them!!! But am not interested in casual sex, well, not really ...so I think I'm just a solo person LOL just gonna continue down the road of totally closing myself away to any human other than friends to which I have limitless amounts of love and time and affection for 

[Lily Valley]

Messages rolling in:

"Are kids a problem?"  I don't know, ARE THEY??

"Whassup?  Will you pee on me?"  I don't know, will you vacuum my house?  Are you an idiot?  Oh wait.  You are.

"hey"  No comment.

"You will be loved forever and i will be monogamous and you can do whatever you want because I am a loyal man"

I asked if the last was looking to be a cuck or looking for a hotwife, response was...lacking in good spelling.

[Kelli Fury]

LILY NO GARY!!!! He's unworthy.

[Lily Valley]

On 12/3/2016 at 9:47 PM, Kelli Fury said:

LILY NO GARY!!!! He's unworthy.

I know, I know.

Currently have messages from three age appropriate men who all have "taco" somewhere in their handle.  I'm not sure how I'm supposed to keep them straight.

[Raja]

16 minutes ago, Lily Valley said:

"taco" somewhere in their handle.

I've had the same thing - I assumed it was spam/ bots. It's a bit odd. 

[Datepalm]

Yes! What is it with the tacos? I also thought it was some kind of spam, but I've actually met one of the tacos and chatted to another. It's just a bizarre pattern. Research required.