Ran

How would you rate episode 701?

How would you rate episode 701?   307 members have voted

  1. 1. What's your rating from 1-10, with 10 being the highest/best?

    • 1
      10
    • 2
      6
    • 3
      9
    • 4
      14
    • 5
      20
    • 6
      27
    • 7
      73
    • 8
      69
    • 9
      38
    • 10
      41

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137 posts in this topic

Hey Youtube, could we get an autotuned montage of Sam almost puking at the Citadel. That would be tremendous.

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2 minutes ago, ummester said:

Two ladles, one Sam

Retch!

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It got a 3 from me. Sandor was the only thing that saved it. Boring. All set up. Littlefinger smirking around the entire episode while Sandra acts dumb was almost too much to watch.

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7.5 from me.

Pluses: Rory killed it as usual. Danny didnt speak. Arya and the Freys.

Minuses: Samwells routine went on too long.  Not enough Tormund & Brianne.  Euron escaped from a roadrunner cartoon. 

Sophie Turner is probably the most beautiful actress on GOT this season but she does nothing for me.  Dead fish.  Maybe she will grow into her attractiveness.

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Solid 8. Best opener and kudos to Walder Frey actor; he gave away a little of the farce without giving away too much. Jaime's jealousy is still sickening, but I suppose understandable if you go along with the idea that he's loved his sister all his life. Euron was a little too animated in that scene; I wish Jaime had run him through for that alone. The scenes of Arya breaking bread with the Lannister army and Sandor being forced to confront guilt possibly for the first time in his life were so well-done. For both Arya and Sandor, a code of life might be easily formed but when you see how a certain approach to things impacts the lives of those just trying to go about theirs, gives you a different perspective. Things I could have done without; Sansa's petulance in the great hall; save that shit for private convos with Jon, and speaking of shit, yeah, we all know Sam's job at the citadel is revolting - how many times did we need to see him doing it? Glad GoT's back. 

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9 hours ago, Jasta11 said:

-Arya massacring the Freys was cringeworthy and a big reason why I didn't rate it higher. If she can perfectly emulate a 90 years old codger, how can you even stop this girl? She could literally murder anyone. Killing Walder satisfied my primal revenge boner, that was just gross overkill.

Bro. That's kind of what Faceless men do....

I just wish we got some actual training scene of Arya changing identities, because she was just sort of able to do it all of a sudden. Other than that, it's par for the course of faceless man abilities. Usually faceless men just don't go around killing randoms. So I'm wondering if that won't play into the demise of Arya somehow. 

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8 hours ago, Frances Bean Corbray said:

Okay let's seriously (wink wink) try to figure out my score for this week.  Now, as Ian MacShane famously said, it's just Tits And Dragons, so lets use that as our baseline. Were there Dragons this week?  YES. Were there tits?  NO.  Okay, since only half the show formula is present, our baseline is 5 out of 10.

No Theon?  full point deduction.  Alfie Allen is putting in one of the best acting performances on the show and you're gonna leave him on the bench on Opening Day?  Pfffffffffffffffffffffff. (4)

Gratuitous WHITE WALKER SHOT complete with zombie giants.  Half Point bonus.  Season 7 is here, it's time for regular reminders of The Real Shit. (4.5)

NO SAND SNAKES.  Also, Dany was almost virtually silent,  I think this, together, is worth a full point. (5.5)

Throwing book readers a bone by having an Alys Karstark show up, I'll give that Plus Half-Point. (6)

Arya killing a bunch of Freys is nice but even the long layoff won't let me forget that's technically two episodes in a row with that now.  Also she forgot to bust Uncle Edmure out of prison after killing all the captors.  Again.  You'll notice this is becoming a bit of a thing for me.  Also, she had a chance to kill Ed Sheeran and did not.  Of course she has not left his company yet so there's still hope.  I'm gonna call this a WASH, but I reserve the right to retroactively change this to a half point deduction if she does not eventually Kill Ed Sheeran.

Beep.  Boop.  Bran Bot Is Talking.  Beep Boop.  I should probably take half a point off here, but Meera gave her dad a shoutout and Edd put in appearance.  Also it kinda looked like he was trying to escape the show under the pretext of STEPPING OUT TO TAKE A LOOK like he's gonna up and see the Walkers with his naked eye or whatever.  I support Edd running away from this show and finding Parallel Universe Game Of Thrones where he gets more lines.  I'll give this a WASH.

SURPRISE.  Jorah is at the Citadel in all his Greyscale glory.  I like this potential very much.  Full Point. (7)

Sam Tarly the world's fattest ninja steals the key to the SUPER IMPORTANT ARCHIVES in which he finds... shit he already knew.  And Gilly had to remind him.  Jon already knows about the Dragonglass, Edd already knows about the Dragonglass, folks know Dragonstone has a fuckton of it.  Little Sam is 5 years old and doesn't look a day over 1 And A Half.  The Citadel must have good skin moisturizer in ample supply.  Minus 3/4ths of a point.  Should be a full point, probably, but the bedpan shit montage was kinda funny. (6.25)

Fredo, you're my brother, and I love you, but don't ever take side against the family again.  Sansa and Jon disagreeing makes sense.  Sansa and Jon butting heads makes sense.  Sansa's more worried about Cersei, Jon's more worried about The White Walkers.  Their difference of opinion is reasonable and hey, they had the weakest sibling relationship among the Stark kids growing up anyway.  Sansa trying to make Jon look like a chump in front of the Northern Lords makes little sense.  She seems like she should know better, and that we should've seen them have that conversation PRIVATELY, before or after the address.  Not that the after conversation they did have was much better.  Let's namedrop all the COOL VILLAINS who aren't on the show anymore.  EDGELORDZZZZZZZZZ.  Maybe emulating complete evil assholes is...good? BOTH SIDES DO IT M I RITE.  Who wants to do some kamikaze shots of bleach with me?

By the way, what's dumber than letting Pedofinger still creep around Winterfell?  Having Brienne juggernaut her way through the fourth wall like the Kool Aid Man AND DRAW THE AUDIENCE'S ATTENTION TO HOW DUMB IT IS THAT HE'S STILL HANGING AROUND.  OH YEAHHH!!!!!  Sansa's excuse for keeping him around is, as usual, weaksauce. "We need his army."  You still have that army with Lord Royce and you KNOW this, Sansa.  Either have her side with LF and turn on Jon or finally have her turn on LF, just don't drag it.  Sansa's regressing again and mayhaps it is just my imagination but Sophie Turner seemed to give a couple fewer fucks as the character regression is getting to her as an actor.

But Jon is still my dude.  "Arm EVERYONE age 10 to 16."  Damn right the girls too.  The Real Shit is coming, fuck the old rules, we need to survive and there's no time for anyone to be riding the bench.  Inspired by Jon's mercy, I will show mercy myself and deduct only a quarter point, over all. (6)

THE HOUND I guess is officially Down With BWB.  I am okay with this.  I am also okay with no Lady Stoneheart because Beric was cooler anyway and I'm glad the show is keeping him around.  Coming across the same homestead Sandor mugged in Season 4 is a little coincidental, but whatever, we get some DEVELOPMENT for The Hound so that's okay.  Isn't reading the flames supposed to be, like, hard?  Didn't Melisandre have to practice this shit for years?  Well, I guess in retrospect she did kinda suck at it.  Anyway Sandor being a fucking virtuoso flame reader is kinda stretching the bonds of disbelief suspension, but whatever, he sees The Real Shit and knows what's up now.  That's fine.  I guess I'll go WASH because I like Beric, even when he's going CSI in the middle ages on some dessicated corpses and kicking my immersion in the genitals.

HEY LOOK IT'S CAPTAIN JACK SPARROhnowaitmymistake.  Okay there were brief moments where I thought I could hear echoes of the real Euron Greyjoy.  And I guess it works if you run with the idea that he's just giving Cersei the B.S. he knows she wants to hear.  And at least they didn't fuck around with building to this alliance and just got it over with in Episode 1.  But half point deduction for no Qyburn, and I'm being generous.  (5.5) 

So 5.5.  I guess I'll go up to 6 because I'm in a good mood because the show is back and I tend to like the things I like more than I hate the things I hate.

 

Holy cow. Bravo on this post, sir. Was laughing my ass off the whole way through it. 

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What the hell did I watch? I swear by the black cloaks of the kingsguard that it was insane. Leaving aside all the deus ex idiota that is Cersei sitting the Iron Throne and Euron sailing the entire iron fleet for a 5 minute meeting with her...and leaving aside that in a 7 episode season we need a 5 minute montage of shit and stew with Sam and Ed Sheeran singing a song, and leaving aside the fact that despite the battle of the bastards, hard home, the fist of the first men and, ya know, freaking dying and being reborn that Jon has had zero character development, leaving aside the strange metaphysical phenomenon whereby the size of the great hall in winterfell is inversely proportionate to the size of Dany's dragons...leaving all of that and the bajillion other absurd plot inconsistencies aside.....this was just very bad writing. I mean, we are talking Three's Company level of writing here. What a train wreck.  I don't believe the showrunners are capable of shame as there is no way that people with the ability to feel that emotion could write this show, but they really ought to be ashamed of themselves.

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I give it a 8

I wanted to it give it power because of the first scene. I don't like a terminator-like character in a story. I hope GRRM was not planning on this too. 

I really hated the sibling rivalry between sansa and Jon. It doesn't feel authentic. It feels as if they are trying to give Sansa priority since her biggest arc finished. I would assume in the book, it's completed different considering they swapped Sansa's storyline

Everything else I really enjoyed. Hounds prophecy is interesting. We got a glimpse of the dagger from season 1, why?

Jorah! He is back!!! Dude became the thing! It's clobbering time!

 

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I give it a 8

I wanted to it give it power because of the first scene. I don't like a terminator-like character in a story. I hope GRRM was not planning on this too. 

I really hated the sibling rivalry between sansa and Jon. It doesn't feel authentic. It feels as if they are trying to give Sansa priority since her biggest arc finished. I would assume in the book, it's completed different considering they swapped Sansa's storyline

Everything else I really enjoyed. Hounds prophecy is interesting. We got a glimpse of the dagger from season 1, why?

Jorah! He is back!!! Dude became the thing! It's clobbering time!

 

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Posted (edited)

I considered giving it an 8, but the fact that it was the season premiere, after we had waited so long, pushed it up to a 9.

(Not surprising it wasn't a 10, though.  As a season premiere, we can't expect much in terms of big events or major developments)

Edited by Cron

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A solid 8. It covered almost every character and set up their plots nicely. Couldn't really expect much more from a season opener. They packed a lot into that episode and it nearly all was important story building.

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9 minutes ago, Cron said:

I considered giving it an 8, but the fact that it was the season premiere, after we had waited so long, pushed it up to a 9.

(Not surprising it wasn't a 10, though.  As a season premiere, we can't expect much in terms of big events mor major developments)

No offense, but why does waiting longer for the premiere cause it to be rated higher? Shouldn't the episode be based on the episode's own merits? If we had waited 10 years for it, would it have earned a 10 because we waited even longer?

I have been awaiting TWOW from GRRM for years and likely will wait another year or two longer. But the fact that the book will have taken so long to have been released will not cloud my judgment about its quality. If it sucks, it sucks. And if it's great, it's great.

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Starting at a neutral 5...

Good politicking at Winterfell, and the Brienne scene was good. +2

Arya scenes were good, just the flaunting was a bit much. Nice to get some singing. +2

Didn't like the chamber pot scenes, but did like the autopsy one. -1

Cersei's recap was good. +1

The Hound is good as usual, though the references were too subtle. +1

Didn't like the black new fashion, Arya and Euron got cool-looking garments though. -1

The Dragonstone stuff felt too slow. -1

I'll give it an 8.

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I gave it a 9 in terms of first-episode-of-the-season. It was a really great first episode to get the season going.

  • Arya's scene was cool.
  • I loved Sansa's chance at finally getting to play the game.
  • The Hound's redemption arc is really beautiful.
  • Was excited to see Jaime finally not cowtowing to Cersei's every whim. I really hope that he is the one to finally do her in, in a Mad Kind "kill the mall" kinda way. 

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A solid 4 out of 10.

I guess the best I can say about it is that it set up the pieces and helped people who don't watch the show remember what the hell is going on.

however for anyone without the brain of a goldfish it seemed like everything was just being explained for our benefit instead of people have conversations.

A couple of good scenes and a couple of truly awful ones!

- Kings landing was horrible: so many unnatural conversation and exposition

- Somebody kill Ed Sheeran now

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7. First episodes are generally getting characters into place, somewhere, and indicating to the viewer was is to come.  This episode did that.  The reason I did not rate it higher was due to the 'Arya kill all Freys' scene.  If I was an Arya fan, I would be very worried as she is now written into a corner.  Looks like Atomic Arya is now in place.

I really liked the Jon/Sansa argument.  I honestly could see both of their arguments, and I could understand why they each think as they do.  The scene had depth and real life logic.  I appreciated it. 

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4 hours ago, SafeFromWinter said:

Starting at a neutral 5...

Good politicking at Winterfell, and the Brienne scene was good. +2

Arya scenes were good, just the flaunting was a bit much. Nice to get some singing. +2

Didn't like the chamber pot scenes, but did like the autopsy one. -1

Cersei's recap was good. +1

The Hound is good as usual, though the references were too subtle. +1

Didn't like the black new fashion, Arya and Euron got cool-looking garments though. -1

The Dragonstone stuff felt too slow. -1

I'll give it an 8.

.. so you're saying that you gave it a 3?

That's what your real answer is :D 

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