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Dating thread VII? Single Nerds Club


Sylva Santagar

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I don't know. The other community I'm hugely active in, Wrestling Forum, is a far cry from this one. Those guys might defend Penny on this.

Oh, there are people I know who would say this is The Way To Score. Doesn't make it right or acceptable.

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Oh, there are people I know who would say this is The Way To Score. Doesn't make it right or acceptable.

Or the easiest, either. Lies tend to bite you in the ass. Simply talking less is much easier, safer and more efficient. Lie/brag a little too much and your date will disqualify you for being self-absorbed

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I think today guys are finally coming to the (correct) conclusion that, simply stating that you are "just" looking for sex or FWB with a woman can get you those EXACT results, with very little problems. Plenty of women are looking for the same things some guys are- honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.

Came back to the thread to post just that.

It's amazing what honesty can bring to a conversation.

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Often, the issue is not honesty, but lack of tact, so that when something fails, people blame it on "I failed because I was *too* honest," when in fact, they failed because they acted like a tactless douchebag.

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Often, the issue is not honesty, but lack of tact, so that when something fails, people blame it on "I failed because I was *too* honest," when in fact, they failed because they act like a tactless douchebag.

Oh absolutely. Knowing how to communicate is an artform that seems to be getting lost.

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Or the easiest, either. Lies tend to bite you in the ass. Simply talking less is much easier, safer and more efficient. Lie/brag a little too much and your date will disqualify you for being self-absorbed

I can't imagine that has ever happened to you. The disqualifying for being self-absorbed bit.

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The problem with being self-absorbed is that you're relying on a finite source of sustenance. It's far more evolutionary advantageous to absorb others. Ask the amoebas.

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Why can't you imagine that? Yes, I get away with alot due to my height and white boy swagger, but there are limits to every woman's patience.

I know we've been over this, but is the whiteness a prerequisite?

I want to know how to incorporate some of this swagger into Sci-Sci Style .

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It was Jessimae Peluso. We got to talking back stage and she is from Syracuse originally and that's just an hour from where I grew up so we had a lot in common. Her friend I will be staying with was also an original of Syracuse.

Jessimae is on your coast more than my coast. I will see if she is performing in SD anytime soon and let ya know.

Okay, I am totally not building a fantasy where she and I become best friends and tour the world making fun of all the idiots. Not at all.

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Okay, I am totally not building a fantasy where she and I become best friends and tour the world making fun of all the idiots. Not at all.

I've met you both and I'd rather tour the world with you :)

She could come too if her not coming would be a deal-breaker...haha

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A couple questions about first date etiquette:

  • How long should a coffee date last? And how do you end them gracefully, without sounding like you aren't having a good time? Today I ended one (with a girl I quite liked) as I was returning from the bathroom with "So I never know how long these things ought to last," which worked out well since while I was away from the table her friend texted her to let her know she could come by. (She's moving and needs to take measurements of an apartment her friend is vacating.)
  • Followup after: Literally the first date I went on after I split with my ex a while ago the girl texted me the next day to say she'd had a good time and hoped we could get together soon. That seemed like a pretty good idea so I've done it since. It has rarely worked out. Last time I went into a successful series of dating I didn't do any of that shit and just called a few days later to ask if she wanted to get together again. What's ideal?
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Lord knows I'm not exactly an expert at dating, but re: the coffee date, I'd have a reasonable non-insulting excuse handy from the start for why you had to leave at a particular time, and stick to that - the "helping friend move house" one is ideal, but anything decent should do as long as it's not "...and Jersey Shore starts in twenty minutes!". It also makes the point that you have a life and aren't just hanging out with her for want of anything better to do, and gives her a non-awkward end point too. Hour, hour and a half tops?

Second point, I see nothing wrong with that approach, and suspect you were just unlucky there. Though I guess you do also need to call again and make a specific arrangement later; "soon" being kinda vague. Anyone who makes a fuss about some fucking 3-day rule or whatever is a game-playing asshole not worthy of your time anyway.

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I think it's hard to have an ideal for that just because what different people want are so opposite. Best to go with the kind of time period you feel like because then it's natural and will screen for people who are better suited to you.

For example I am in favour of lots of communication and like contact right after the date, anyone that didn't like that is probably going to get annoyed at me in the long term anyway so better to put them off right away.

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Lord knows I'm not exactly an expert at dating, but re: the coffee date, I'd have a reasonable non-insulting excuse handy from the start for why you had to leave at a particular time, and stick to that - the "helping friend move house" one is ideal, but anything decent should do as long as it's not "...and Jersey Shore starts in twenty minutes!". It also makes the point that you have a life and aren't just hanging out with her for want of anything better to do, and gives her a non-awkward end point too. Hour, hour and a half tops?

Second point, I see nothing wrong with that approach, and suspect you were just unlucky there. Though I guess you do also need to call again and make a specific arrangement later; "soon" being kinda vague. Anyone who makes a fuss about some fucking 3-day rule or whatever is a game-playing asshole not worthy of your time anyway.

Yeah we went about 90 minutes.

When I say "call and ask if they want to get together again soon," I'm scheduling in that call if they say yes.

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