MinDonner Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I think you may be confusing monogamy with the occult art of infallible prophecy. Maybe use more chicken entrails on your first date? Those tealeaves are so inaccurate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanteGabriel Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 "Works" is a subjective term. I know plenty couples who are together for 10-20 years and are miserable. ... And? I know plenty of single and non-monogamous people who are miserable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywolf2375 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 ... And? I know plenty of single and non-monogamous people who are miserable. isn't this how this conversation always ends? There are examples on both sides of it, there are choices on both sides of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanteGabriel Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 isn't this how this conversation always ends? There are examples on both sides of it, there are choices on both sides of it. Yep. Established all that within the first couple of pages. Why PA chose to advance that as an argument, well, I don't know, maybe wolves don't have great memories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yagathai Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 You know, for a thread created primarily so Ser Scot could brag smugly about how much he's not fooling around on his wife, this went to a really annoying place really fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Alexander Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Yep. Established all that within the first couple of pages. Why PA chose to advance that as an argument, well, I don't know, maybe wolves don't have great memories. Eh, I specified in the first post that the issue isn't the failure of the idea, it's the failure rate. And I totally accept that poly failure rate is high as well, although I'd estimate that it's lower. Poly people are more ok with breakups and accept breakups as part of the game. Mono people are much more impacted by breakups. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Scot A Ellison Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 Chataya,Thanks.:)It's not easy. It's not perfect. It's work but work I value and that I think is worth it. And for the record I'm as human as everyone else and I'd be lieing if I said I never wonder what my life would be like if I were not married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yagathai Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 That's like three humblebrags in two sentences. Impressive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord of Oop North Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 But there are those who make it work, or have other priorities in life and don't much care if it works or not, and simply use it for convenience. And I think - good for them.This is such an idiotic statement that I almost didn't respond, but it pissed me off a little too much. Are you trying to be a prick on purpose? How about not transferring your own hang-ups, issues, or failures with monogamy to the member of the human race that does finds love, happiness, and intimacy in a long-lasting relationship. To even imply that we are all somehow lying to ourselves out of convenience is so blatantly offensive that I'm forced to respond with a big 'fuck you, mind your own fucking business'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elder Sister Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Love it :) Love you too, Scot, but sometimes, I need to laugh. Especially when everyone in the thread who is married seems so smugly married.I'm married; the topic is on monogamy, and I posted. My apologies for coming across as smug; I was just feeling very loving towards Mr. ES when I posted. Next week, when he's once again talking about needing a new bass boat, has mowed down my flowers and is screaming at the TV, it'll be a different story. :)I love being married, but I suspect I would love being a single Accounting hottie with the world at my feet. We can't all be Lady Chats. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Scot, I have absolutely ruled out monogamy as a relationship model because of the way my longest relationship ended. I genuinely believed I would spend the rest of my life with that person. Staying together ten years was HARD. Losing a relationship with the center of my little universe was even harder. My friends were so disturbed by our breakup I was completely alone. I will never put myself through that experience again. This doesn't mean I don't envy you. I do.PA, do you have a dog? Mine humps everything without discrimination. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Scot A Ellison Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 Lily, I wish you all happiness whatever road you choose to walk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanteGabriel Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Monogamy, like conservatism, can not fail. It can only be failed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Monogamy. I just don't know where I'm at on the subject. I've only recently turned away from Christianity and I can tell you, my ideas about monogamy and polygamy were completely based on what I had been taught (or lied to about). Still, monogamy is still something I'd like to work for me, because it's appealing.On the other hand, it's a hard concept to put into practice because I'm a young, nice looking guy with a bright future and I have no qualms about telling a girl when I'd like to have relations with no relationship. Some consent and some don't but there is enough consent to interfere with me being able to settle right now. I'm still pretty fresh off a breakup from my last monogamous relationship so I'm just looking for fun right now.And when I read about others opinions on polygamy and become comfortable with the idea of not giving a damn about what consenting adults do, so long as there's honesty involved, I wonder if polygamy is something for me. So for now, all I can really do is live my life and see how things end on the relationship side of things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Alexander Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 This is such an idiotic statement that I almost didn't respond, but it pissed me off a little too much. Are you trying to be a prick on purpose? How about not transferring your own hang-ups, issues, or failures with monogamy to the member of the human race that does finds love, happiness, and intimacy in a long-lasting relationship. To even imply that we are all somehow lying to ourselves out of convenience is so blatantly offensive that I'm forced to respond with a big 'fuck you, mind your own fucking business'. You're reading into it too much (or not enough). I said there are those who make it work. I'm not generalizing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Ok, not everyone came across as smug, but since I'm in a really bitter place towards monogamy, and men, and all relationships in general, at the moment, it's definitely colored my perspective ;) I've read Eat, Pray, Love, but I thought Elizabeth Gilbert came across as terribly smug in the Love chapter, and I can't read her book Committment for fear I would barf. Reading Eat, Pray, Love and thinking the author comes across as a terrible person just means your head is screwed on right. :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 "Works" is a subjective term. I know plenty couples who are together for 10-20 years and are miserable. Monogamy failure rate is very high in my observations. This isn't just divorce or couples' splitting up rate, it's also general unhappiness that can be observed. Are there lots of couples who are very happy in mono relationships - yes, absolutely. One of the things I discuss lots of the time with my "Students" (e.g. those who come to me for dating advice), is to figure out if they are a "wolf" or a "dog". Wolf-type people should avoid monogamy, as it will only cause harm to them, and their partners. Dog-types are more likely to have monogamy "work". It's always so cute when you break out the PUA crap. It's like you are afraid some of us might have missed the tells in every one of your posts and you need to make sure we understood the type of person you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyanna Stark Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Either you're certain that it will end in some forseeable future, or you aren't (and just hope for the best, like in your case). It is an either/or.This is just bizarre. Unless you have gained the ability to know what's going to happen in the future. I love being married, but I suspect I would love being a single Accounting hottie with the world at my feet. We can't all be Lady Chats. <3 :agree: Instead we'll have to live vicariously through Chataya! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Alexander Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 This is just bizarre. Unless you have gained the ability to know what's going to happen in the future. This doesn't require any kind of foretelling. Either you go in with a mindset of "this is temporary", or you don't. It's always so cute when you break out the PUA crap. It's like you are afraid some of us might have missed the tells in every one of your posts and you need to make sure we understood the type of person you are. Shryke on the case? I've said many times I'm surrounded by players and that I'm an "honest" player myself. Grats, you've figured me out. I know PUA in an out, just like I know normal, relationship-oriented dating in and out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Scot A Ellison Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 PA,So, it's either a self fulfilling prophecy or it's not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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