kungtotte Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 So I ask a girl I like to tell me what we have going on and she tells me the following:1."We're friends but we talk. I don't want to move too fast with you."2. Me and my ex have a strong bond but I'm moving on from him.Now, this comes in the context of this particular female being all over the D, asking for pics and telling me she wants an LTR. She's not making any sense to me. Can y'all make sense of this and advise me on how to approach this? 1 is fine, it's a reasonable stance to take, and if that were the only thing I'd say just play it cool and take it slow. But coupled with 2 makes it seem like it's not worth it. It's never a good idea to get involved with someone who is still hung up on their ex. Bad news lies that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biter Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Tinder and OkC have not worked out for me at all. As I may be getting a real job soon instead of working 3 part-time gigs, I might have the money to spring on an eHarmony membership (or something). Do you guys think it's worth it for a 25-year-old with no romantic luck? Generally, my advice is: Go for it! Then, I'd ask: What are your expectations when joining the site/that makes you want to sign up? Do you live in/close to a big city? Specifically, I have no experience with eHarmony. I've met a special someone on match.com, but the endeavor took a lot of time and I signed up for several different sites. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Theda - You are worthy. Don't tell yourself you aren't because that belief is self reinforcing.This.Go and enjoy yourself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 I find this fascinating. Do not most religious people consider their views quite important? Isn't that often kind of the point? Asking simply out of curiosity. I'm Catholic and I consider it to be the LEAST of my problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Thursday Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Tinder and OkC have not worked out for me at all. As I may be getting a real job soon instead of working 3 part-time gigs, I might have the money to spring on an eHarmony membership (or something). Do you guys think it's worth it for a 25-year-old with no romantic luck? I tried eHarmony for a while but found that there really wasn't much of a membership around my age/nearby (I'm 25 and live in London - so not exactly parameters you'd expect to get a low turnout for). I think if you're going to pay for a dating site you need to find one that has a reasonably large membership in your area - all of them say they have lots of people on them but it's not always true. If you know anyone in your area who has some experience with dating sites it might be worth asking them for their experiences, as it is sure to vary quite a lot by location. ST Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon's Queen Consort Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 This is a long rant. You have been warned. [long rant] The spamerial crew may remember this one, but instead of talking only about me I decided to start a new thread about this here. Lately I had met a really good guy who had the whole package that I like; blonde, blue eyes, serious, discreet. Or much simpler he is the complete opposite οf me. Anyway, the friend who introduced us told me that he liked me and I was so excited. My friend had to go back to the city she is living so she told me that she will tell him, for the three of us, to go out for a drink when she will return. However one day she told him that they (she and him) should meet when she would return because people are asking her about him and according to what she told me he was very happy to hear that. Now from other people who knows him I have learnt that he is looking for a serious significant other.Anyway, my friend is coming today and she called him yesterday to tell him that she is coming and to organize the blind date between him and me. Then he told her that he will be out of city for today with his friends and he doesn’t know what time he will return and if he will return early in the evening he will call her in order to go out. Now, according to my friends I am the kind of the good *crazy* kind of person. I am the kind of person who tries always to be happy, I try not to be sad and always find something to be happy even when it comes to really silly things. I will always tell what I think no matter what, even when it is wrong and most people would just shut up and pretend they agree or they don’t care if I think otherwise then you will know it, I am not shy to even get into troubles if I want to say something as maybe the people who have seen me at General ASOIAF might have noticed. I also tend to be extravagant not with my appearance but with who I am. However, when it comes to dating or emotional or sexual relationships I am a completely different person and I lose all my confidence and my *happiness*. I became a disaster and completely socially inept. Even before my friend told me what he told her about his trip, I was sure that he will say no. So, when she told me what he said it really messed up my mood. In any case I would like to ask you what you think that I should do now. My friend is going to leave if not tomorrow then the day after that and I will have no way of seeing him for God knows how long. How do you think that I should try to meet him again? Note: I don’t have his phone number. Thank you for your patience. [/long rant] Thank you for moving it. I didn't knew that it was a thread about dating. I am sorry for the mistake. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon's Queen Consort Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 The Doctor's Consort - I'm not sure what you're asking... Some advises about what I can do. How do you think that I should try to meet him again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Ask your friend for his number and contact him directly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon's Queen Consort Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Ask your friend for his number and contact him directly. I have thought about it but he is square and he doesn't like when a woman take the initiative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 I have thought about it but he is square and he doesn't like when a woman take the initiative. Then he's an idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edda van Heefmstra Ruston Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 I have thought about it but he is square and he doesn't like when a woman take the initiative. A few options off the top of my head: 1) Don't go out with him. 2) Ask your friend for his number, call him up, and ask him when he is going to ask you out. 3) Have your friend be direct with him and say that you're interested and would like a call. No need for her to take him to coffee for that, just call him. 4) Everybody keep wishy-washying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inigima Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 I can't even decipher that post enough to tell what the situation is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 I can't even decipher that post enough to tell what the situation is. I read it 3 times and still didn't have a clue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon's Queen Consort Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 I can't even decipher that post enough to tell what the situation is. My post? If yes, I am sorry English aren't my first language and sometime I messed up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inigima Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Yep, I have no idea what the story is and I don't think I'm the only one. Makes it hard to give advice. I can't tell if you're now in competition with your friend or what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Some advises about what I can do. How do you think that I should try to meet him again? I have thought about it but he is square and he doesn't like when a woman take the initiative. JQC, has your friend given him your number? If he has it, all you can do is wait, no? In that case, best to move on and if somebody else appears before he acts? His loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 As far as I can gather, she met some dude via a mutual friend who lives out of town. Friend is briefly back in town and planned to arrange a double-date with dude, but turns out dude had other plans this weekend. Correct? Dude frankly sounds like a bit of a dick if he's really that fussy about ladies not making the first move. Are you sure you want to sign up for that? One way to find out is, yes, ask him out. If he gets pissy then you have new information, namely that he's not worth the effort. If he actually likes you then he should be delighted to get your message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon's Queen Consort Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Yep, I have no idea what the story is and I don't think I'm the only one. Makes it hard to give advice. I can't tell if you're now in competition with your friend or what. Ok to ay it simpler; A friend introduced us and we talked about 10', she told me as far as she understood he like me. Then she left and she told me that the next time she will come she will tell him for the three of us to go for a drink. She came today but his is out of town and he doesn't know if he will come early in order for us to meet. I have no other way of meeting him, just this friend and she most probably will leave tomorrow. He is too old fashion for me to call him and I don't know iow can I meet him if she isn't here. JQC, has your friend given him your number? If he has it, all you can do is wait, no? In that case, best to move on and if somebody else appears before he acts? His loss. She hasn't done that yet and I don't think that she will be very willing to do it because she is really shy. As far as I can gather, she met some dude via a mutual friend who lives out of town. Friend is briefly back in town and planned to arrange a double-date with dude, but turns out dude had other plans this weekend. Correct? Correct. Dude frankly sounds like a bit of a dick if he's really that fussy about ladies not making the first move. Are you sure you want to sign up for that? One way to find out is, yes, ask him out. If he gets pissy then you have new information, namely that he's not worth the effort. If he actually likes you then he should be delighted to get your message. Well, in my country men are still really old fashion if a woman does the first move they tend to think her as a desperate one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inigima Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Okay. Your options if you want to see him this time around are: 1. Call him2. Have your friend tell him to call you So pretty much what Aoife said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Scot A Ellison Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Hans,I disagree-Religious women are the most fun if you manage to sway them from their beliefs :D.So, should it be more fun to date an athiest and pull them into a faith?As TP, Inigima, and others have pointed out, not funny, not cute, not cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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