Dating #17 - Your Biceps Make For Awesome Pillows

[Derfel Cadarn]

Congrats Drac! Kind of cool seeing your relationship start of in these threads as a 'maybe going out' to engagement.

Just passed the two month annoversary with gf, still going well. We're going away for a couple of days next week. Already each others families etc. :)

[Kelli Fury]

I mean, I'm vaguely deist (mostly I believe there is something, and my position on it is I still don't care) and V is a satanist into chaos magick. No conflict at all, he's a sweet guy and a good boyfriend and that he's a practitioner of the dark arts is not my business.

[Theda Baratheon]

I have a first date with someone tomorrow who said theyd be in south wales anyway so asked if i wanted to go on a date and now it turns out theyre coming from cornwall to see me and then back and im spooked. How do i tell them not to come. I dont feel comfortable with someone ive never even met before travelling 6-8 hours driving to see me. Would it be mean to say to him i feel under pressure and that's a lot of travelling so maybe he shouldn't do it???

[lessthanluke]

I have a first date with someone tomorrow who said theyd be in south wales anyway so asked if i wanted to go on a date and now it turns out theyre coming from cornwall to see me and then back and im spooked. How do i tell them not to come. I dont feel comfortable with someone ive never even met before travelling 6-8 hours driving to see me. Would it be mean to say to him i feel under pressure and that's a lot of travelling so maybe he shouldn't do it???

Don't think it would be mean at all. Totally see where you are coming from with the pressure, that much travel makes it seem like a way bigger deal than a normal first date.

[Larry of the Lawn]

I have a first date with someone tomorrow who said theyd be in south wales anyway so asked if i wanted to go on a date and now it turns out theyre coming from cornwall to see me and then back and im spooked. How do i tell them not to come. I dont feel comfortable with someone ive never even met before travelling 6-8 hours driving to see me. Would it be mean to say to him i feel under pressure and that's a lot of travelling so maybe he shouldn't do it???

No, don't feel bad about cancelling if you feel uncomfortable. But, I did drive 3 hours to meet my gf on our first date about a year and a half ago. And I would have driven farther, too.

[brook]

I don't think you need to feel bad about asking him not to come but I think it might be worth going anyway.

You are not responsible for what he chooses to do, if he chooses to travel that far to see you that is completely on him it doesn't obligate you to do a thing. He obviously thinks you're worth travelling for and I personally think he's right.

[lessthanluke]

I don't think you need to feel bad about asking him not to come but I think it might be worth going anyway.

You are not responsible for what he chooses to do, if he chooses to travel that far to see you that is completely on him it doesn't obligate you to do a thing. He obviously thinks you're worth travelling for and I personally think he's right.

But also all of this. You could really hit if off and then the drive would be worth it.

[Kelli Fury]

I find this fascinating. Do not most religious people consider their views quite important? Isn't that often kind of the point? Asking simply out of curiosity.

I used to consider myself Christian, these days I'm more of a pantheist agnostic. At no point was it a big deal to me. The great questions of the universe have less practical day to day bearing than what someone's favorite cookies are. Therefore, I consider cookie preference a more important test of compatibility. I think a lot of people feel this way

[maarsen]

I used to consider myself Christian, these days I'm more of a pantheist agnostic. At no point was it a big deal to me. The great questions of the universe have less practical day to day bearing than what someone's favorite cookies are. Therefore, I consider cookie preference a more important test of compatibility. I think a lot of people feel this way

Do you want some one who hates your favourite cookie or loves your fave? There are arguments for both.

[fuseprime]

It depends on how big a part of their/your lives it is. My religious views are not in the least bit important to me and don't impact my lifestyle at all. As long as any potential partner was not a dick about whatever they believed it makes no difference to me whatsoever

I'm a Catholic, and I dated a Jewish girl for two years. I didn't consider our difference in views on religion to be an obstacle, because we shared the same values. Neither of us put down our religious beliefs and I thought it was important. We never try to convert each other either.

I have a first date with someone tomorrow who said theyd be in south wales anyway so asked if i wanted to go on a date and now it turns out theyre coming from cornwall to see me and then back and im spooked. How do i tell them not to come. I dont feel comfortable with someone ive never even met before travelling 6-8 hours driving to see me. Would it be mean to say to him i feel under pressure and that's a lot of travelling so maybe he shouldn't do it???

From the outside looking in, I don't think you should feel mean about not wanting to see him. I can totally see where it would make you uncomfortable. On the other hand, what do you have to lose? It could be a lot of fun!

[Littlefingers In The Air]

So I ask a girl I like to tell me what we have going on and she tells me the following:

1."We're friends but we talk. I don't want to move too fast with you."

2. Me and my ex have a strong bond but I'm moving on from him.

Now, this comes in the context of this particular female being all over the D, asking for pics and telling me she wants an LTR. She's not making any sense to me. Can y'all make sense of this and advise me on how to approach this?

[Littlefingers In The Air]

Theda, I say go for it but take all the precautions you need to take to feel safe. This might be worth the chance, yo.

[Theda Baratheon]

I haven't called it off i just felt very guilty and unworthy but its his choice so when he realises im weird w/e plus i remembered we bought tickets to see the nick cave film and female trouble and no one else will watch female trouble at the art centre with me lol

[cdawnb]

I haven't called it off i just felt very guilty and unworthy but its his choice so when he realises im weird w/e plus i remembered we bought tickets to see the nick cave film and female trouble and no one else will watch female trouble at the art centre with me lol

He obviously thinks you are worth the trouble. You should think you are too.

Try it. You may be surprised.

[WrathOfTinyKittens]

Littlefinger - people are fickle. She may not know what she wants. Or it could be that she wants you / likes you, but in her more reasoned moments she believes that she needs more time to move on from her ex first or whatever. Point 1 is probably related to her liking you and being afraid to mess it up.

[Arch-MaesterPhilip]

I haven't called it off i just felt very guilty and unworthy but its his choice so when he realises im weird w/e plus i remembered we bought tickets to see the nick cave film and female trouble and no one else will watch female trouble at the art centre with me lol

If he is willing to travel six hours to see Female Trouble with you he thinks you're totally worthy.

[karaddin]

Theda - You are worthy. Don't tell yourself you aren't because that belief is self reinforcing.

[Gillio]

Do you want some one who hates your favourite cookie or loves your fave? There are arguments for both.

maarsen, one of us should be worried, this was my first thought, too. :agree:

So I ask a girl I like to tell me what we have going on and she tells me the following:

1."We're friends but we talk. I don't want to move too fast with you."

2. Me and my ex have a strong bond but I'm moving on from him.

Now, this comes in the context of this particular female being all over the D, asking for pics and telling me she wants an LTR. She's not making any sense to me. Can y'all make sense of this and advise me on how to approach this?

Maybe she realises she's in rebound territory because of 2, and doesn't want to rush into things. Maybe she'd like you to be still around when she's completely moved on.

I haven't called it off i just felt very guilty and unworthy but its his choice so when he realises im weird w/e plus i remembered we bought tickets to see the nick cave film and female trouble and no one else will watch female trouble at the art centre with me lol

You are right, its his choice, you should not feel guilty, or pressured for that matter! I'd trust Brooke and karradin's feedback on this one.

enjoy yourself.

[Ravenhair]

I haven't called it off i just felt very guilty and unworthy but its his choice so when he realises im weird w/e plus i remembered we bought tickets to see the nick cave film and female trouble and no one else will watch female trouble at the art centre with me lol

Theda, I had similar trepidations about someone flying 6 hours to see me. In fact, I did everything to convince him that he should not make the trip. I whined about my age and sent thie ugliest possible pics of myself. He made the trip anyway. I'm definitely happy he ignored my protests about how awful I am. He still makes the trip, and I still remain very happy that he does.

[Mormont'sRaven]

Tinder and OkC have not worked out for me at all. As I may be getting a real job soon instead of working 3 part-time gigs, I might have the money to spring on an eHarmony membership (or something). Do you guys think it's worth it for a 25-year-old with no romantic luck?