Red Helm Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 The better question is where will Sansa and Theon go period? Can't go to the Wall (as Evil!Thorne will just turn them over to Ramsey). No Stannis Army to help. Are they going to head back to Littlefinger and the Vale (with Brienne and Pod in tow)? Hoof it all the way to Last Hearth because reasons and Rickon? My bet is they will be stuck traveling the requisite episodes to get to Castle Black after Jon's resurrection, despite Mel making it there in an episodes worth of time. Don't care. They've butchered that masterpiece of a character arc in ADwD and have stunted Sansa's development too. I've gone past caring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Tower of Almond Joy Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Ja'qen made Arya go blind so she wouldn't have to watch the rest of the episode... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciri Riannon Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 First he will need a new girlfriend, won't he? And that's how Asha Yara will return to the series. Wouldn't be surprised at all. They've already screwed up every single story arc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borodin Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Hopefully this hasn't already been posted yet. This is an absolutely brilliant review of S05E10:"You want a good girl, but you need a bad pussy." - D.B. Weiss, Dan Benioff "So, why did they hand Jaime Tristane? This seems like a stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid plan. And Ellaria tries to throw her handkerchief in the water, but it blows back and doesn't fall in. A perfect metaphor to the whole Loras' birthmark storyline: an absolute fucking failure." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks9VeB5vI70 It was another spot on review. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veltigar Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 That's a tough call. But, yeah, I think Show Doran edges out his book counterpart, allowing his ONLY HEIR to get on a ship and go to KL where he will be a de facto Lannister prisoner, cause I didn't see an army on that boat, is really stupid, stupider than Book Doran's stupid my plan was to sit on my ass for 15 years plan. Also, zero punishment for whack jobs busting into your sancturary and attempting what amounts to a coup? Say you are sorry and it's all okay?That's really the crux of it all isn't it. Like, book Dorne wasn't perfect. There was actual room for improvement but what we got was a crock of shit. They cut all the interesting things out of Dorne (the worldbuilding, Elaria's disapproval of a new war, etc.) and they even cut out the fun campy stuff (Especially, he that is of the night). And we got fuck all in return. But that was Book!Renly. Show!Renly, was the rightful king was was fair and kind to everyone!True, after all, that is what made sense creatively. Satannis was bad pussy but showrenly was just a blessing. Show Doran > Book Doran? This does not compute. It does not. It does not!Well yeah it does, we're measuring stupidity here. Show Doran wins that one easily. LOL, what is that lightweight going to do in KL next year? Or, maybe that won't happen, they will turn the boat around or some shit? I think the show is contractually obligated to have a guy with curly hair there at all times. With Jonope staying out of the action for an episode or two, we need someone to fill the void Kit Harrington's hair left. Oh man, what sort of madness will Ramsay the Supervillain get up to next season? Will he kill Euron with six good men in a row boat? Will he track Sansa and Theon down to the Wall? They murdered his girlfriend. Things have just gotten personal for Rambosey. He'll make those evil villains pay for what they did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Helm Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Hopefully this hasn't already been posted yet. This is an absolutely brilliant review of S05E10:"You want a good girl, but you need a bad pussy." - D.B. Weiss, Dan Benioff "So, why did they hand Jaime Tristane? This seems like a stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid plan. And Ellaria tries to throw her handkerchief in the water, but it blows back and doesn't fall in. A perfect metaphor to the whole Loras' birthmark storyline: an absolute fucking failure." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks9VeB5vI70Jacobs has mixed content. Claims Quentyn is alive, that Euron is Daario and I think he once said Daenerys is Lyanna and Rhaegar's child. Does good reviews, though is far more concerned with these awful, convoluted conspiracy theories than he is with ASoIaF's literary brilliance. Though perhaps he is self aware and does it for fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Helm Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 People, Ramsay isn't a Mary Sue! ...Benioff is simply a mentally ill man who has strange lapses/episodes into 2004 where he still thinks he is writing Troy, thus explaining the nigh-invulnerability of Ramsay and his 20 good men (that needs a tm) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R4W13Y Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Why were the Sand Snakes and Ellaria even allowed to see Myrcella leave? And why was Ellaria in particular allowed to approach and touch the princess after she's spent all season lobbying and trying to have her killed? In the books GRRM tries to make it so that every character, no matter how little a role they play, behaves in a reasonable and believable way that is consistent with their position. The show has thrown that to the wind. Enter in the show apologists to say that Doran really wanted her killed (despite imprisoning the SFs instead of just letting them kill Myrcella if that's what he really wanted! and despite coming out and saying to Ellaria that he doesn't want her hurt - why would he lie to Ellaria about that only to later be like, JK Ellaria, kill her...for what reason? and despite having his son and only heir on the boat now as a Lannister hostage). Oh but then the show apologists will respond with "he didn't care about Trystane and he's just going to legitimize one of the SFs as his heir instead" at which point I have to just leave the discussion since it's gone completely off the rails. (this is an actual scenario proposed by many in the discussion thread, no I did not make this up) Because there are only 6 citizens in the city of Dorne. Doran does nod to Ellaria to say goodbye so maybe he was in on it? But without him confirming it this episode it seems like no and it'd feel tacked on next season. Especially since Trystane is on the ship. Unless maybe it's a Dornish ship and theyre taking everyone to Meereen to recreate Quentyn's book plot sort of? Actually if that happened it would save the Dornish plot and lived up to Nym's comments. Ellaria throws away her hankerchief and Doran rolls up to give a version of the Justice Vengeance Fire and Blood Speech then it cuts back to Jaime who goes to the ship captain who tells him that the ship is going to Meereen and he's hostage. But I suppose hoping for that would be too much to expect for D&D You're honeypotting (coming up with elaborate theories that explain away inconsistencies in the show) :P That might make it better, but I seriously doubt that is going to happen. Plus, David Nutter implied that they are headed to KL, Jaime is going to want to spare Trystane, and Cersei is going to want to kill him, and this is what will finally make him hate her (dumb). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cas Stark Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I can't take seriously anyone who thinks Daario is Euron. Just no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Helm Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 You're honeypotting (coming up with elaborate theories that explain away inconsistencies in the show) :P That might make it better, but I seriously doubt that is going to happen. Plus, David Nutter implied that they are headed to KL, Jaime is going to want to spare Trystane, and Cersei is going to want to kill him, and this is what will finally make him hate her (dumb). I think that may be even worse... oddly the outright perversion of ASoIaF is somewhat better than taking the best moments of the series and shoving them into a terrible context and making them unearned, i.e. Daznak, or Theon remembering his name, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Helm Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I can't take seriously anyone who thinks Daario is Euron. Just no. One person insisted that Rolly Duckfield was Ned Stark. Oh, it gets far worse. At least the Euron = Daario people have something of a foundation that is one actually solid ground. EDIT: http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/topic/74891-possibility-of-ned-being-alive/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 People, Ramsay isn't a Maru Sue! ...Benioff is simply a mentally ill man who has strange lapses/episodes into 2004 where he still thinks he is writing Troy, thus explaining the nigh-invulnerability of Ramsay and his 20 good men (that needs a tm)I know it's meant in jest and all, but could we stay clear of comments on the mentally ill and similar? Just a small request, thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laughing Storm Reborn Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Ramsay Bolton, the former bastard with no military strategic feats aside from hunting people like dogs, beats Stannis Baratheon because in the show, the latter and the writters completely forgot his resume from the books... It might have been the work hours, that i can understand... but at least say it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veltigar Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Perfect themesong for showTyene and Faularia. No insult to Nelly Furtado intended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Helm Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I know it's meant in jest and all, but could we stay clear of comments on the mentally ill and similar? Just a small request, thanks Fine. People on these threads seem such ever so sensitive petals, though I shall try to abide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aFeastForDragons Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 ^Daario being Euron fills in a lot of plot holes and questions in their stories. Its silly though. Why did Brienne call Renly the rightful King>? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Helm Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 ^Daario being Euron fills in a lot of plot holes and questions in their stories. Its silly though. Why did Brienne call Renly the rightful King>? Because Gaston and LeFou wrote it. Logic need not apply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 LOL, what is that lightweight going to do in KL next year? Or, maybe that won't happen, they will turn the boat around or some shit?Shipwreck on fucking Tarth, they all die. THE END./wishful thinking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veltigar Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Let's stop referring to D&D as Gaston and Lefou. They aren't even fit to shine Lefou's boots, let alone those of the great Gaston! Plus, D&D couldn't pull off a song like this in a million years. :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SerDesmondHume Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 You're honeypotting (coming up with elaborate theories that explain away inconsistencies in the show) :P That might make it better, but I seriously doubt that is going to happen. Plus, David Nutter implied that they are headed to KL, Jaime is going to want to spare Trystane, and Cersei is going to want to kill him, and this is what will finally make him hate her (dumb). Yeah I know. Everytime I think D&D are building to something elaborate and clever it always finds a way to underwhelm even my lowest expectations. A lot of people thought Trystane would be pseudo Aegon or pseudo Quentyn and Dorne would fight for the throne too. But if Trystane is just a plot device then that's disappointing. I suppose they're streamlining Dorne's involvement in the upcoming war too like with Stannis/The North so expect no major Dorne developments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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