Red Tiger Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 On 21-3-2016 at 4:44 PM, Kay Fury said: So I think I have a date with an ex from a few years back (much discussed in early versions of this thread) who I had to redistribute based on him being terribly handsome (think if Thor was a metal guitarist) but a close friend of one of my ex spouses and far too rowdy. He randomly texted to say he quit drinking and knows I hate him but he wants to take me out and he sent pictures of his adorable cat. I've been in a terrible gloom and he was really great for letting me do unspeakable sex things to him so while this could be a terrible idea I'm probably just going to do it anyway. Aint nothing wrong with some casual banging Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerenthaClone Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 On 3/19/2016 at 2:08 AM, karaddin said: Merentha - Hope it goes well, I imagine your job is rather time intensive so guessing that's why it would be casual for a long time. You're compassionate and empathetic, so if you can work the practical stuff and are compatible I'm sure you'd be a great partner. Aw thanks! And this is basically Adult Dating 101 for me, since the last time I dated a new person was basically when I was 21 with both of us in undergrad. Dating someone who already has a very established schedule, habits, and isn't in the middle of a hugely transitory phase of their life is weird guys, even more so when the last two apply to me as well. But its been fun so far when we can actually meet up, so there's that. Does anyone else work a really unconventional schedule and date a normal person? Tips? I think it was a (minor) factor in some of the problems in my last relationship and I'd rather avoid them again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datepalm Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 OK, I'm afraid that a week or so of low grade okcupid texting in, I'm about 30% convinced Brain Science Guy is actually an experiment in AI development. He makes awkward academics a through n seem like a socially sensitive, well adjusted, la-di-dah sort of crowd. (Now, unfortunately, I just briefly imagined this group of totally unrelated men in the same room. Not good.) I'm really running out of ways to respond to weirdly cryptic, occasionally faintly poetic (in that way that computer generated semi-nonsense text can sometimes be...) a-personal statements about how to formulate research methodologies. I'm just going to ask him out to figure out what's going on - maybe it's a language gap...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhangel Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 Datepalm, after going on a string of okay but underwhelming first dates with varying shades of scientists from OKCupid, I just went on one with a lawyer/former lit major and oh my god. Actual conversation with someone who likes words is amazing, yo. He's awesome, I'm really excited to see him again. Possibly you're just hunting through the wrong section of the metaphorical university campus? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhangel Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 Military dude is coming to my city for Easter; I'm going to the city where he usually is for Easter because my family is there. I did tell him that I was out of town but seems like he forgot and thought we would be spending time together this weekend. His plane comes in at 5:30, mine leaves at 6, he seems to have some idea that we're going to make out in the airport for the 30 mins in between the two - this is pretty much literally what his text messages say. I'm not especially keen for that, not only because of the not-insignificant risk of missing my plane but also because as I mentioned above, I met someone else this week and I really liked him and we've already made plans for next weekend and it just seems kind of shitty to both of them (even though no one has said anything's exclusive and blah blah blah people can do what they want but this is how I feel, okay? :p). But we're not quite at the stage where I say that to military dude, given I've only met this other guy once, so I'm just trying to dodge this totally impractical idea of his. Bit worried about hurting his feelings, but what can you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhangel Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 To clarify, he's not coming to town specifically to see me, he grew up nearby and his family and some old friends etc. live around here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 My read on it is that you just aren't actually particularly interested in meeting him, but feel because some vague plans might have been made you have an obligation. You don't, you don't owe him anything and he's responsible for his own feelings. Particularly given the entire thing at the airport is his misunderstanding. I'm not saying you should be cruel about it, but being honest and telling him you just aren't feeling it is more have OK. Your feelings of not wanting to see someone else after meeting someone you like is fine too. It's about what it makes you want, not whether you're expected to be exclusive. When I'm really getting into someone new, I tend to lose interest in anyone else new. If he's going to get pissy about it he's not really someone you want to be seeing anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 8 hours ago, Arkhangel said: His plane comes in at 5:30, mine leaves at 6, he seems to have some idea that we're going to make out in the airport for the 30 mins in between the two - this is pretty much literally what his text messages say. I'm not especially keen for that, not only because of the not-insignificant risk of missing my plane but also because as I mentioned above In addition to what Karaddin said, his plan is really stupid and presumptuous. If your plane is leaving at 6, you will be on the plane by 5:40, if not earlier. And expecting someone you've only met once to just meet up and immediately start making out in an airport is super rude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 16 hours ago, Arkhangel said: Datepalm, after going on a string of okay but underwhelming first dates with varying shades of scientists from OKCupid, I just went on one with a lawyer/former lit major and oh my god. Actual conversation with someone who likes words is amazing, yo. He's awesome, I'm really excited to see him again. Possibly you're just hunting through the wrong section of the metaphorical university campus? lemme go ahead and just re-affirm the literature degree/attorney combination as optimal for these purposes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IheartIheartTesla Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 I just came here to note that as an Indian scientist guy, reading Datepalm's posts is very amusing. Also, some of us scientists do like words. AS long as they describe equations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 On 3/23/2016 at 8:29 AM, MerenthaClone said: Does anyone else work a really unconventional schedule and date a normal person? Tips? I think it was a (minor) factor in some of the problems in my last relationship and I'd rather avoid them again. first step is to be like marlowe's zenocrate and rest thee like a lovely queen. second is to be like milton's adam and relax your joints though horror runs through your veins. 57 minutes ago, IheartIheartTesla said: I just came here to note that as an Indian scientist guy, reading Datepalm's posts is very amusing. Also, some of us scientists do like words. AS long as they describe equations. is there a mathematician's rhetoric for seduction, by the bye? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Fury Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 I decided against seeing metal ex because I remembered how not worth the hassle he was last time around. But a friend of mine (also a friend of metal ex and one of my ex spouses and my roommate) is also in the same newly single and needing to learn to be a fun person again boat. So we're going to hang out soon and if something happens cool, if not also cool. I am also bringing another friend who also happens to know all of those same people to Ini's wedding in Baltimore. He lives in New York and I'm not sure if he thinks it's a date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IheartIheartTesla Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 5 hours ago, sologdin said: Is there a mathematician's rhetoric for seduction, by the bye? No, mathematicians just do it by the numbers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 11 hours ago, sologdin said: lemme go ahead and just re-affirm the literature degree/attorney combination as optimal for these purposes. I'm unconvinced. I imagine dating a lawyer as every conversation being like a debate with Scot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 On 3/21/2016 at 2:29 AM, Arkhangel said: How Tigger is Tigger? I've heard tell they are bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy. Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! Also jumpy, bumpy, clumpy, thumpy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears of Lys Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 On 3/23/2016 at 4:47 PM, Datepalm said: OK, I'm afraid that a week or so of low grade okcupid texting in, I'm about 30% convinced Brain Science Guy is actually an experiment in AI development. He makes awkward academics a through n seem like a socially sensitive, well adjusted, la-di-dah sort of crowd. (Now, unfortunately, I just briefly imagined this group of totally unrelated men in the same room. Not good.) I'm really running out of ways to respond to weirdly cryptic, occasionally faintly poetic (in that way that computer generated semi-nonsense text can sometimes be...) a-personal statements about how to formulate research methodologies. I'm just going to ask him out to figure out what's going on - maybe it's a language gap...? I fear for the continuation of the species. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datepalm Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 On 23/03/2016 at 4:05 PM, sologdin said: 23 hours ago, IheartIheartTesla said: I just came here to note that as an Indian scientist guy, reading Datepalm's posts is very amusing. Also, some of us scientists do like words. AS long as they describe equations. Ok, amusing is better than expected... I've been wondering if i'm either being horribly offensive or possibly wandering off into some cultural issues (academic culture as much as national, perhaps) I have no idea how to start working my way around. On 23/03/2016 at 4:05 PM, sologdin said: lemme go ahead and just re-affirm the literature degree/attorney combination as optimal for these purposes. And all others presumably, right? I really have been invited to join both the communist party and a quasi-radical food coop in the past few months as totally serious answers to the questions "where am I supposed to find someone I actually want to date?" 8 hours ago, Tears of Lys said: I fear for the continuation of the species. Oh, I would be quite surprised if anyone in this story, anyone, including me, ever has kids. Not saying it's completely impossible, but I'd be surprised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears of Lys Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 On 3/21/2016 at 4:57 AM, Angalin said: I have no idea why this post insists on quoting Datepalm. Never mind. A not-exactly-dating-related question for the hive mind: I keep on having coffee or meeting in other various ways with people who've either never met me or haven't met me very often. Depending on the energy level - keep in mind that I'm an extrovert - I occasionally arrive in full Tigger mode. I've been trying to moderate this slightly, but want to know: for the first few meetings, how moderated does the Tigger effect need to be and for how long do I need to keep my foot on the brake? eta: these meetings can be social, academic, or business-ish. I try to rein it in for the latter. I definitely have an inner Tigger too. I don't know if it comes across in my posts. I guess I try to suppress Tigger as much as possible, but sometimes he just comes bounding out. On 3/21/2016 at 9:17 AM, Angalin said: When I'm really on a roll, the paws do not touch the ground. This happens less often than it used to. Thanks for the advice. Watch me perform the role of a serious person for all future engagements. I will be clock-watching where possible. Yeah, my Tigger doesn't come out as much either. Maybe it has something to do with getting older? 13 hours ago, Manhole Eunuchsbane said: I've heard tell they are bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy. Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! Also jumpy, bumpy, clumpy, thumpy. Oh, yes. PLENTY of fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But I've been told Tigger can wear people out. Oh, well. We'll just bounce on to something else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maarsen Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 10 hours ago, Tears of Lys said: I fear for the continuation of the species. If Ted Cruz can find multiple mistresses, the continuation of the species is the least of our worries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears of Lys Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 35 minutes ago, maarsen said: If Ted Cruz can find multiple mistresses, the continuation of the species is the least of our worries. Good God. That's one thing we don't need is more little Cruzes running around, being obnoxious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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