(SPOILERS) Criticise Without Reprecussion - Rant & Tear apart

[Wingednosering]

On 2016-05-30 at 11:02 PM, Lord Syv Aldlark said:

I love how this season is supposed to be past where we are in books.

Sam- already in Oldtown in books at this point

Dany-slightly ahead, yet the drogon scene is basically the last chapter she is in book and the Meerennese knot seems to not be a thing or if it will be late.

Jamie and Brienne are both heading toward the riverlands.. hahahahahahahah

 

This was a ways back, but I'm actually of the mind that this is intentional.  The fact that they're now going backwards and filling in half of the stories they cut in previous seasons tells me that they knew they'd beat GRRM to the punch and decided to buy him more time.  They revealed the future (past?) of Hodor, but nothing else so far has really felt like book canon to me.  I expect that's actually intentional to spare book readers.  I mean...the way they portrayed Benjen as half wight, half human just reeks of "We want to avoid giving a clear answer on Benjen and Coldhands."  They did it in a way that made the book/show divide incredibly difficult to discern.

 

Long story short, I think they're dumbing the show down, going off track and circling around to fill in missing subplots to help out the book readers that don't want things spoiled.

 

In regards to this episode (hell, this whole season): the dialogue is painful.  I really only care about the things they might reveal that are book-canon rather than the show itself, since it died back in season 4-5 for me.  I've always hated Dany and these repetitive speeches aren't helping.  Can't believe they killed the direwolves to save their CG budget for endless dragon monologues.

 

[Edit]: Was this the second consecutive episode with no nudity?  Holy crap, that might be a record.

 

[Edit 2]: Forgot about the warty penis.  Nevermind.  At least we got one episode without boobs.

[Pumpkin G. Snark]

After this episode some primitive sitcom lines come to mind (and probably I’m not the first):

  – You have beautiful eyes, girl.

 – You too. But I’m supposed to shut yours forever.

 – (with theatrical affectation) Mercy!

 – You know my name?!

 

 – We have dick jokes in eps 1, 2, 3, 4. We even show them an actual dick in ep 5. What about ep 6?

 – Don’t worry, for ep 6 we’ve got Dickon Tarly.

 

 – Bran, where’s your uncle Benjen?

 – The Others took him! (General laughter.)

 

 – How many ships I’ll need?

 – About 1000, my Queen.

 – Well, it’s very convenient. I’ve heard of a man who’s going to build exactly one thousand. And he wants to marry me. Now, how long to Meereen?

 – About one week.

 – It's very convenient too. So next episode I’ll be there.

 

 – Attention, kids. Why do we name Jaqen H’ghar a kindly man?

 – ‘Cause he said “Don’t let her suffer”.

 – What should we do to the people who make us suffer?

 – (all together) Stick ‘em with the pointy end!

 

 – What do you think, Maisie?  

 – I think you’re delivering this scene wrong, Lena. You should raise your head and shout to the guards: “Take him! Take him! Take him!”

 

And so on.

[Future Null Infinity]

5 minutes ago, Pumpkin G. Snark said:

– How many ships I’ll need?

 – About 1000, my Queen.

it was so lame, it's a slap on the viewers' intelligence, they wanted us to cheer the moment because we know Euron is coming with 1000 ships

[The Boastful Knight]

14 hours ago, TimeforTravel said:

- Coldhands and Benjen being merged... I'd rather have just Coldhands or just Benjen, but didn't GRRM say they were separate?

 

He kinda did, but whatevs. It's not like if either of them is gonna have any plot relevance in the books, the show will follow that, because by that point, the show will be probably over or it will have revealed Benjen's/Coldhands' purpose. I know it's probably not a big deal all things considered, but the Coldhands Benjen mashup is just so D&D. It's so like them to spit in the faces of book readers. Like, they had the oppurtunity to introduce Coldanhds in s04 for example, but they didn't, instead they gave us the mutineers storyline, which was just stupid on many levels. This is another half-assed attempt from them trying to look "clever" or some shit, because it was a popular fan theory for a while.

[The Boastful Knight]

15 minutes ago, Future Null Infinity said:

it was so lame, it's a slap on the viewers' intelligence, they wanted us to cheer the moment because we know Euron is coming with 1000 ships

Yes i bet they thought everyone's gonna be like mindblown from making that connection to the last episode. What are we, kindergarteners?

[Future Null Infinity]

4 minutes ago, The Boastful Knight said:

Yes i bet they thought everyone's gonna be like mindblown from making that connection to the last episode. What are we, kindergarteners?

and made us shouting 'what a beautiful concidence', they are bending the reality for danny, I would be so satisfied if she said 'so I will build those ships' and then Euron come

[Maid So Fair]

7 hours ago, Raksha 2014 said:

 

I had the strong impression that Margaery was going along with the High Septon to save Loras from continued abuse and hopefully to free him.  She has been pliable and courteous with the High Septon all along; and he has taken the time to personally visit and counsel her.  He wanted to get the crown under the control of the Faith; and Margaery and Loras were the means to do it; Margaery brought Tommen along for the ride.  Margaery gains immunity from trial (I believe), avoids a walk of shame, hopefully gets the Faith's support for Tommen and herself for awhile; and hopefully an eventual chance to spring Loras.  Then, I think, she and the Tyrells will turn the tables on the Faith.  Or at least die trying.

Kudos to you if you managed to get all that from the previous episodes. And sure, it's a no brainier for Marg - she gets a get out of jail free card for pretending to be pious. 

But Marg isn't the one calling the shots - what does HS have to gain by releasing her? Is he foolish enough to believe her fake conversion? If he's going to rely on her support in influencing TomTom, surely he must realise that throwing someone in a dungeon for lying (and then asking them to lie some more) is not how you gain friends and influence people? Surely he would know that as soon as he loses leverage by releasing Loras, Marg will turn the tables on him? Also, he must have realised that TomTom was going to tell Cersei and he's not surprised to see he Tyrell soldiers show up. I thought originally he intended for an actual altercation to take place so that people would see t h depravity of the crown, but it didn't go anywhere.

Now if I truly wanted to honeypot I would say that HS knew all along that eventually the Crown would get sick of this BS and proceed to aggressive negotiations so he decided to milk the situation for what it was worth. Rather than lose both hostages and have his movement slaughtered he throws them a bone by releasing Marg, making it look like he's doing her a favour, gets to keep Lotras, gains influence over TomTom and buys himself a lot more time. Then again, none of this is apparent or even seeded in the show. But hey, at least I know that HS used to be a cobbler that liked to paaaaartaaay!

[Maid So Fair]

1 hour ago, The Boastful Knight said:

He kinda did, but whatevs. It's not like if either of them is gonna have any plot relevance in the books, the show will follow that, because by that point, the show will be probably over or it will have revealed Benjen's/Coldhands' purpose. I know it's probably not a big deal all things considered, but the Coldhands Benjen mashup is just so D&D. It's so like them to spit in the faces of book readers. Like, they had the oppurtunity to introduce Coldanhds in s04 for example, but they didn't, instead they gave us the mutineers storyline, which was just stupid on many levels. This is another half-assed attempt from them trying to look "clever" or some shit, because it was a popular fan theory for a while.

The thing I don't get about this is that Coldhands means nothing to the Unsullied as he b vet appeared or was mentioned in the show. To get any excitement out of Coldhands' identity reveal you need to have read the books - and if you have read the books you know he isn't Benjen.  

[Le Cygne]

7 minutes ago, Maid So Fair said:

Then again, none of this is apparent or even seeded in the show. But hey, at least I know that HS used to be a cobbler that liked to paaaaartaaay!

Yeah, it never pays to write the story for them. And it's really not our job.

Surely they wouldn't do something this stupid is usually answered by, sure we can. And they just make it up as they go along anyway.

[Neds Secret]

1 hour ago, Maid So Fair said:

Kudos to you if you managed to get all that from the previous episodes. And sure, it's a no brainier for Marg - she gets a get out of jail free card for pretending to be pious. 

But Marg isn't the one calling the shots - what does HS have to gain by releasing her? Is he foolish enough to believe her fake conversion? If he's going to rely on her support in influencing TomTom, surely he must realise that throwing someone in a dungeon for lying (and then asking them to lie some more) is not how you gain friends and influence people? Surely he would know that as soon as he loses leverage by releasing Loras, Marg will turn the tables on him? Also, he must have realised that TomTom was going to tell Cersei and he's not surprised to see he Tyrell soldiers show up. I thought originally he intended for an actual altercation to take place so that people would see t h depravity of the crown, but it didn't go anywhere.

Now if I truly wanted to honeypot I would say that HS knew all along that eventually the Crown would get sick of this BS and proceed to aggressive negotiations so he decided to milk the situation for what it was worth. Rather than lose both hostages and have his movement slaughtered he throws them a bone by releasing Marg, making it look like he's doing her a favour, gets to keep Lotras, gains influence over TomTom and buys himself a lot more time. Then again, none of this is apparent or even seeded in the show. But hey, at least I know that HS used to be a cobbler that liked to paaaaartaaay!

Yet again the D$nces have me bewildered. Last time we saw Marg she was defiant, she was holding Loras together and she was on to the High Sparrows game. Now unless her sudden conversion is fake because she has calculated that she has to do it to protect Loras then WTF?? Characters cannot do full  180s from one scene to the next without having a bloody good reason and if she has really converted we should be SHOWN how it has happened and WHY!!! That is THE story, otherwise we as the audience have no clue what is going on, we need to know the characters motivations to understand why they do things!! That is what telling a story is about.. Otherwise it's just a collection of skits played by people in character. If Marg is really pro HS then how he has accomplished this is important, because we need to see whyMarg is behaving like this so we can decide how we feel about her and the choices she is making. Witout  this information then It just does not make sense for Marg to have changed so much in so little time, and  all of it has been off camera.

[Ser Quork]

6 hours ago, Simon Steele said:

Well, the worst thing to me is that the writers seem to be taking direct jabs at GRRM and the source material now through Arya's scenes with the troubadours. Didn't Arya's "mark" or whatever say something like "the source material is shit?" And Arya say, "then change it and make it good?" I really feel like the disdain for the source material couldn't be implied much more--at least not without hitting us over the head with a hammer.

But they're such poor writers, I immediately took the insult to be insulting themselves, and they didn't even know! 

4 hours ago, Wingednosering said:

[Edit]: Was this the second consecutive episode with no nudity?  Holy crap, that might be a record.

Unfortunately not, we had warty penis close-up and actress Sansa's boobs in 5.

58 minutes ago, Maid So Fair said:

The thing I don't get about this is that Coldhands means nothing to the Unsullied as he b vet appeared or was mentioned in the show. To get any excitement out of Coldhands' identity reveal you need to have read the books - and if you have read the books you know he isn't Benjen.  

Absolutely mind-numbing. 

[Neds Secret]

12 hours ago, Low Sparrow said:

Agree. This could have been in episode 2. Made the repeat scene from season one uncessary, and spared us the emo kahls from same scene.

By now, Dany and new khalasar and could have gotten back to Mereen and ended the slaver conflict. The only logistical problems left would be how to feed 100K dothraki while they wait 20 years for the ironborn to build 1000 ships, and that Tyrion might run out of dick jokes by then.

No, that could never happen, Tyrions got more dick jokes then Unsullied to pull them on!

[Nami]

On 30/05/2016 at 0:01 AM, Lord Parker said:

-Bran and Meera did not mention Hodor, Summer, the extinction of a race that has existed since most likely the beginning of time, etc...

Seriously. WTF. The writing is so so bad.

[Tyrek Lannister]

6 hours ago, storm.131 said:

LOL yes!  I wish it ended in the same way as Theon's speech in Winterfell, that is, with someone whacking her over the head and saying "I thought that speech would never end.  Let's go home lads."

Hahahah

[storm.131]

20 hours ago, Nerevanin said:

Overlooking everything else, I have two main problems with this episode:

1) how did Dany deduced from that little sand that there is Drogon hiding behind the hill?

2) Isn't Tarly's castle a bit... too big?

I agree on both counts.

Specifically in regard to Horn Hill, I would love to know why they bothered to film on location in Spain but then use CGI for the exterior of the castle?  The Castell de Santa Florentina where it was filmed seemed to me to be far more reflective of the Tarly's status than the preposterously huge building in the CGI.

[Ser Morbid]

I'am sick and tired on bashing GoT this is season, it's just too bad. And what is the bigest outrage is that Butthead nad Beavis were proclaiming that this season is the best they ever did ... like , really ?!  

[Lord Syv Aldlark]

The characters have such little real emotion.

Bran just downloaded the history of the world. Lost his direwolf and his friend and the cotf..

 

Yet his emotion level is pretty low and he just provides clumsy exposition we already saw and know.

The sign of bad writing is when you explain something in exposition you already showed viewers

[Nerevanin]

3 hours ago, storm.131 said:

I agree on both counts.

Specifically in regard to Horn Hill, I would love to know why they bothered to film on location in Spain but then use CGI for the exterior of the castle?  The Castell de Santa Florentina where it was filmed seemed to me to be far more reflective of the Tarly's status than the preposterously huge building in the CGI.

I just googled Castell de Santa Florentina and it definitely looks much better (and way more as a castle) than that pseudo-greek-something CGI thing. It doesn't even look like a fort that you would be able to defend against enemies.

[Daenerys_Is_Coming]

20 hours ago, SerMixalot said:

Westeros has Ramsey and twenty good men. 

Game

Set

Match

I fixed that for you! 

 

EDIT: Ugh! Someone beat me to it, lol. Sorry for double post. 

[Daenerys_Is_Coming]

I don't even know what that was I watched last night. Still trying to digest. Stream of consciousness thought....

Benjen - Happy to see him. Maybe we're not going to get the original Coldhands lore or whatever, but I'm happy he's back and at this point I will take any small wins in the show I can get.

Jamie  - Finally! Carol's handbag is going to get his storyline back on track and stop sulking around the Red Keep. I'm not really sure if they can redeem showJamie for me at this point -  he's become a charisma-less appendage - but like Benjen above, I'll take what I can get. 

Cersei -  So at this point I am pretty much convinced that Cersei will die by the end of this season. The Hound will beat the Mountain during Cleganebowl and Tommen will sentence Cersei to death (the gods' justice). All of my unsullied friends are absolutely set on the idea that Cersei is going to make a huge comeback this season and start kicking ass and taking names. I think that D&D's decision to really downplay Cersei this season is specifically so they can be like, "Oh snap! Surprise Motherf**kers! You thought Cersei was going to get revenge, but look how clever we are by killing her off!" They are absolutely inept in the art of foreshadowing and subtlety. 

Samwell/Gilly - Can I please have my 30 minutes back? What a waste of time. I literally could not care less about Sam and Gilly at this point and can't comprehend why we spent so much time with House Tarly last night. Did it move the storyline forward at all? (no) Did it provide new character development? (no) It was all one long pointless dinner party that reaped no plot rewards. Sam stole Heartsbane.  Was that what that entire detour was about?