Craziest Theories

[miyuki]

On 1/17/2020 at 1:08 AM, Platypus Rex said:

It's the truth!

I'm honestly not joking. When they were sending Myrcella to Dorne, Varys wasn't there but Lollys was. In fact, every time we see Lollys, Varys isn't around and vice versa. Moreso, we know that Varys is a mummer and in ASOS Tyrion sees Varys disguised as a fat woman. 

 

Only thing that bugs me is that Lollys (actually Varys) got raped like 50 times so Varys' acting skills must be next level or he just enjoyed it. 

[Fun Guy from Yuggoth]

In the book Castles by Alan Lee: Caer Arianrhod ("Castle of the Silver Wheel") was a circular castle in the middle of the sea, and the home of an enchantress Arian, to escape their enemies Arian's brother Gwyddion lifted the Castle up into space and it became a constellation called the Arianrhod--the Silver Wheel, now known as the Northern Crown (Corona Borealis). 

Gwyddion launched a castle into space, a castle that is a Silver Wheel, and in Welsh gwyddin means "wooden" and gwyddon means "wizard".  A wooden wizard launched a silver circular castle.

Weirwoods are silver, and they form weirwood circles--a weirwood grove is a Silver Wheel of sorts.  One of the magic hills from MST with a standing-stone circle is referred to as a King's Crown.  And weirwoods are said to crown hills:  "great hill of High Heart. . . the mighty carved weirwoods that crowned it"

And I think the King's Crown / The Cradle constellation is Corona Borealis, which is made up of seven stars.

"The Father reached his hand into the heavens and pulled down seven stars," Tyrion recited from memory, "and one by one he set them on the brow of Hugor of the Hill to make a glowing crown." (hugel means Hill in german)

This is a reverse telling of the same story: a glowing crown of stars come down from heaven and land on a weirwood hill.

The weirwood circle on the High Heart is on the brow of a hill: " High Heart, a hill so lofty that from atop it Arya felt as though she could see half the world. Around its brow stood a ring of huge pale stumps" and weirwoods glow.

 

The Kings Crown is the Cradle, and they are both metaphors for a weirwood circle.  " the pale thick roots of his weirwood throne cradling his limbs as a mother does a child "

Nagga's Cradle is next to Nagga's Hill on Old Wyk (or is it Wick like a candle?), where Nagga's Ribs look like weirwood, he built a longhall out of her bones (and long means "ship" in gaelic) and built longships out of Ygg. and it is where the Grey King wore the driftwood crown.  And this is where the Storm King's Thunderbolt sets the tree ablaze,   And where a Sea Dragon drowns islands.

 

Coincidentally, Dunk mentions the King's Crown constellation when Wat's Wood is ablaze:

"They were too far away to make out flames, but the red glow engulfed half the western horizon, and above the light the stars were vanishing. The King's Crown was half gone already, obscured behind a veil of the rising smoke."

 

From the same book the page about Oberon describes him as the King of the Fairies, and he is a storm king who lives in a magic castle in an enchanted forest, he has a magic wand with the power to put all in a trance of sleep, and a Ring of Invincibility, and Alan Lee's painting for this entry on Oberon is a huge tower that is alive that has eyes all over it.  (This castle actually belongs to the giant Angoulafre, that Oberyn sends Huon to slay)

Weirwood groves are leafy magic/enchanted castles that are alive, they are castles with eyes. they put people in trances of sleep, they grow in ring formation and they are a sort of Ring of Invincibility (and invisibility). 

Oberon is a metaphorical weirwood.

 

"We are fond of spears in Dorne. Besides, it is the only way to counter his reach. Have a look, Lord Imp, but see you do not touch." The spear was turned ash eight feet long, the shaft smooth, thick, and heavy. The last two feet of that was steel: a slender leaf-shaped spearhead narrowing to a wicked spike. The edges looked sharp enough to shave with. When Oberyn spun the haft between the palms of his hand, they glistened black. Oil? Or poison? Tyrion decided that he would sooner not know. "I hope you are good with that," he said doubtfully.

 

In the fight against Gregor Clegaine, Oberon deploys a leafy poisoned spear to the Mountain's underside when the Mountain has eclipsed the sun:

Quote

The sun of Dorne, Tyrion told himself, but it was Gregor Clegane who moved first to put the sun at his back. . .

The Red Viper crouched, squinting, and sent his spear darting forward again. Ser Gregor hacked at it, but the thrust had only been a feint. Off balance, he stumbled forward a step.

 

Prince Oberyn tilted his dinted metal shield. A shaft of sunlight blazed blindingly off polished gold and copper, into the narrow slit of his foe's helm. Clegane lifted his own shield against the glare. Prince Oberyn's spear flashed like lightning and found the gap in the heavy plate, the joint under the arm. The point punched through mail and boiled leather."

 

"for an instant Prince Oberyn had wings. The snake has vaulted over the Mountain."

 

The Mountain has eclipsed the sun, there is a bright shaft of light from the ground from the Red Viper (who is a weirwood castle) and Oberyn's leafy wooden spear flashed like lightning going up into the air, it punctured the Mountain and brought him to the ground.  Then Oberyn had wings and vaulted over the Mountain.  This sounds like a mythical retelling of a weirwood rocket launch.  (and the red comet is described as a red dragon, and a dragon is a serpent, so Red Viper = Red Comet)

 

[Platypus Rex]

14 hours ago, miyuki said:

I'm honestly not joking. 

Me neither.

14 hours ago, miyuki said:

 Only thing that bugs me is that Lollys (actually Varys) got raped like 50 times so Varys' acting skills must be next level or he just enjoyed it. 

That does not bother me.  We were not there when Lollys was raped 50 times.  It was not caught on video.  It is merely something Tyrion was told.  Also, Varys may indeed be a woman (but I guess that's still another "crazy" theory).  

[Nagini's Neville]

3 minutes ago, Platypus Rex said:

Me neither.

That does not bother me.  We were not there when Lollys was raped 50 times.  It was not caught on video.  It is merely something Tyrion was told.  Also, Varys may indeed be a woman (but I guess that's still another "crazy" theory).  

Bronn and Varys then, huh? Next challenge: Varys needs to give birth. That probably also won't be caught on video. Only the three eyed raven knows 

[Reekazoid]

On 1/18/2020 at 10:24 PM, hiemal said:

My craziest religious theory is that the Many-Faced God is simply the Moon of the Moonsingers and the Facelss Men take their name from its dark phase.

Mind. Blown. 

[Reekazoid]

Ok my favorite semi-original theory ( as in I thought of it and months later came across a similar mention) is that magic that sustains The Wall is powered  by human sacrifice. That’s why the brothers of the Nights Watch leave must leave  everything and everyone of their previous life behind, and serve for life  upon pain of death.  
 

Even the Night’s Watch vows resemble an incantation of sorts.  

 

[three-eyed monkey]

I don't believe Daario is Euron but the reason people think it's a thing is because it almost was a thing. There are a lot of similarities between Daario and Euron but, from what I remember, the biggest criticism of the theory is that the timeline is too short for it to work. So basically, if Euron had more time then it might be more plausible.

We also see similarities with Brienne and Pretty Meris, as well as Sandor and Caggo Corpsekiller. For example, Pretty Meris is a Westerosi woman, six feet tall, wears mail, and has scars on her cheek, which sounds a lot like Brienne the Beauty. These characters were Brienne and Sandor originally, both of whom would have went to Essos and ended up in the Windblown, signifying they had lost direction in their lives. Then, the five year gap was dropped. GRRM felt he would have to tell too much of the story in retrospect to cover the gap. Taking a chunk like that out of the timeline meant they remained in Westeros instead, while the pov chapters set in Mereen were reworked, changing details and creating Pretty Meris and Caggo in the process.

I imagine something similar happened with Daario and Euron, with Daario becoming his own character and Euron's original role in Mereen been taken by Victarion instead.

[Platypus Rex]

17 hours ago, Nagini's Neville said:

Bronn and Varys then, huh? Next challenge: Varys needs to give birth. That probably also won't be caught on video. 

Bronn and Varys are no problem.  Bronn probably has no interest in laying a finger on his new wife.  But even if he did do a proper investigation, and found out that Lollys was indeed a woman, it would not establish that she was not Varys.

Varys giving birth is a little more of an objection, since Varys is probably too old for that, even if he is a woman.  But, like you said, there were no cameras present for that either.  All he needs is a co-conspirator and a baby to use as a prop.  He's already got the co-conspirator, if the theory is correct.  And he seems to have no difficulty coming up with unwanted children as tools.

[Nagini's Neville]

8 minutes ago, Platypus Rex said:

Bronn and Varys are no problem.  Bronn probably has no interest in laying a finger on his new wife.  But even if he did do a proper investigation, and found out that Lollys was indeed a woman, it would not establish that she was not Varys.

Varys giving birth is a little more of an objection, since Varys is probably too old for that, even if he is a woman.  But, like you said, there were no cameras present for that either.  All he needs is a co-conspirator and a baby to use as a prop.  He's already got the co-conspirator, if the theory is correct.  And he seems to have no difficulty coming up with unwanted children as tools.

We'll know, if little baby Tyrion has no tongue 

[Platypus Rex]

8 hours ago, three-eyed monkey said:

I don't believe Daario is Euron but the reason people think it's a thing is because it almost was a thing. There are a lot of similarities between Daario and Euron but, from what I remember, the biggest criticism of the theory is that the timeline is too short for it to work. So basically, if Euron had more time then it might be more plausible.

If Euron can use blood sacrifice to the Storm God, to control winds and get himself a steady 12 knots, then he may have all the time he needs. 

I say "may" because the timeline issues are complicated, and we would need to know more before we could say if the timeline worked or not.  But certainly, the timeline issues are not as simple as many objectors allow for.

And of course there is no guaranty that GRRM's timeline of ASOIAF will work, no matter what theories turn out to be correct or not.

[Megorova]

21 hours ago, three-eyed monkey said:

We also see similarities with Brienne and Pretty Meris,

Because of their similarities I think that Pretty Meris is Brienne's mother, and one of Duncan the Tall's descendants. <- That's one of my own "crazy theories"

[Mystical]

That the last two books will ever see the light of day. That's just crazy talk.

[Narsil4]

On 1/14/2020 at 11:15 PM, By Odin's Beard said:

a great, white tree that stretched into the air like a ladder to the Throne of God.

It's been a while since I read MST, but that seems like it could also have parallels to the White Mountain in Tolkien lore and perhaps the Mother of Mountains in GRRM's. 

http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Taniquetil
http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Ilmarin

On 1/14/2020 at 11:15 PM, By Odin's Beard said:

Sithi make swords out of it

Dragons and Weirwoods seem to have a number of parallels, burnt sacrifices in their maws, a tendency to start out or end as stone, etc. 

So I suspect Weirwood hearts contain high amounts of iron, similar to Dragonbone, making the sap blood red. 

Which may be where the main component for Valyrian Steel comes from. 
So the first creation of VS may coincide with the destruction of an important tree and a war with the CotF. Perhaps from the destruction of Ygg and the end of the Pact around 6000 years ago. 

On 1/14/2020 at 11:15 PM, By Odin's Beard said:

(dorn is german for thorn, and dorn is gaelic for fist)

In Tolkienese dorn/doron might also add the connotations of stiff, tough, oak, dwarf. 

On 1/19/2020 at 8:23 AM, By Odin's Beard said:

pulled down seven stars ," Tyrion recited from memory, "and one by one he set them on the brow of Hugor of the Hill to make a glowing crown.

That seems to parallel Durin's Crown. 
http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Durin's_Crown
http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Song_of_Durin

Quote

He stooped and looked in Mirrormere,
And saw a crown of stars appear,
As gems upon a silver thread,
Above the shadow of his head.

It might also suggest a connection to the Great Bear. 
http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Valacirca

On 1/16/2020 at 11:56 AM, By Odin's Beard said:

(And in Lovecraft, the bholes are gigantic white worms that that live in tunnels underground, and the magical enchanted tree that the zuggs live under came from a seed that fell from outer space.)

Firewyrms seem a lot like bholes. 

Dragon and tree may grow from similar sources of fallen sky-stone.  

On 1/18/2020 at 8:24 PM, hiemal said:

My craziest religious theory is that the Many-Faced God is simply the Moon of the Moonsingers and the Facelss Men take their name from its dark phase.

I've been thinking that R'hllor and the Great Other might be the Red(Lunar Eclipse) and Blue(Full) aspects of the moon.  

As a celestial representation of the heart in conflict with itself. 

On 1/18/2020 at 8:24 PM, hiemal said:

Finally, my attempt to bumble my way towards a unified theory of magic:

Oh nice, I've had similar thoughts about that. 
I've been thinking of it mechanically as something Aether-like and maybe based on some of the ancient greek thoughts on the universe. Perhaps the moon contains a hive-mind of souls similar to the weir.net and might be considered a celestial goddess with many different aspects. 

[hiemal]

 

4 hours ago, Narsil4 said:

I've been thinking that R'hllor and the Great Other might be the Red(Lunar Eclipse) and Blue(Full) aspects of the moon.  

As a celestial representation of the heart in conflict with itself. 

Oh nice, I've had similar thoughts about that. 
I've been thinking of it mechanically as something Aether-like and maybe based on some of the ancient greek thoughts on the universe. Perhaps the moon contains a hive-mind of souls similar to the weir.net and might be considered a celestial goddess with many different aspects. 

In my head-canon, the eclipse is the "Usurper's Moon", and it has been and come again several times (I suspect) in Planetos' history signalling periodic catastrophes as one of the magical Summer or Winter Poles that serve instead of magnetic ones is destroyed. In present circumstances the destruction of Valyria has left the world unbalanced until a either new Summer Pole can be established (Isle of Faces?) or The Winter Pole could somehow be destroyed and the world returned to something like natural.

As for the moon hive-mind, I have considered the idea that the GEotD actually practiced skinchanging with entire celestial bodies, so that when an Emperor or Empress "passed" they moved their essence. In this bit of tinfoil, the Dawnite rulers are dimly remembered by the Andals as the Seven, so that for example the Yellow Emperor could be the Crone and associate with the Moon and and so on and so on. So R'hlorr (the Bloodstone Emperor after his partial apotheosis) could be "warging" the red comet?

[Nagini's Neville]

On 21. Januar 2020 at 3:36 PM, Mystical said:

That the last two books will ever see the light of day. That's just crazy talk.

Why, oh why so cruel you must be???? Aren't you supposed to be.... um mystical NOT heartless?

[Lost Melnibonean]

https://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php?/topic/145775-petyr-baelish-is-varys’s-littlefinger/

https://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php?/topic/127378-the-dusky-woman-is-missandeis-mum/

[The Map Guy]

On 1/16/2020 at 8:58 PM, 2uenten said:

The "George Loves Alyssa Milano" Theory was pretty good. 

That has to be the sexiest theory in ASOIAF history ever ... too bad it lasted as long as a one night stand.

I still like the one where Azor Ahai Reborn WILL BE BACK!

I also like the one where George uses kids shows to write stuff for ASOIAF

Spoiler

Elmo, Kermit, Grover Tully? C'mon George!

 

On 1/16/2020 at 10:45 PM, Reekazoid said:

Especially with all the guerrilla marketing leading up to the big reveal.  lol  

That hype lived up better than the hype prior to HBO GoT Season 8!