Infidelity - when, if ever is it acceptable.

[Ocean of Notions]

Its quite interesting that you consider sex, which should be mutually pleasant, to be a "favour" passed from woman to man.

How less important is physical intimacy than emotional intimacy in a relationship. If the man ceased all emotional intimacy with the woman would that be acceptable? Would him being expected to resume it be construed a "favour"?

I think you're reading too much into the term, or at least my use of it right there. "Sexual acts" would have been a better choice, I suppose.

[slim da reaper]

Excuse me if I'm not going to read enough 'baby books' to grasp which are the best. We're talking days before the internet, man. I'm fucking old.

Stego my post was a joke haha :P

This Robert Stanek he is simply the greatest Fantasy writer to ever live imho :P

[Kalbear]

LOL! I did read both those books

See, I figured that you'd just deal with the baby by telling it to go get a job and meaningful insurance, and possibly figure out more tax breaks for itself.

People keeping their private life private? What kind of newfangled craziness is this?!

Definitely! Down with ... that sort of thing.

[Eurytus]

I think you're reading too much into the term, or at least my use of it right there. "Sexual acts" would have been a better choice, I suppose.

But what about the rest of my post. Is sexual intimacy any less valid than emotional intimacy in a relationship? I doubt anyone would put up with the latter being witheld for such a long period of time.

[Ocean of Notions]

But what about the rest of my post. Is sexual intimacy any less valid than emotional intimacy in a relationship? I doubt anyone would put up with the latter being witheld for such a long period of time.

It depends on the relationship and I don't think it's less valid in a general sense. But "validity" doesn't necessarily make it "obligatory". A relationship is a willing partnership where people choose the rules and choose to share with each other emotions, physicality, etc. The idea of obligation is that you "owe" someone, indebted to someone. It makes for an unequal power structure.

In my original post, I didn't indicate the gender and direction of "favours" for a reason. I find it interesting that you automatically thought I meant it as something "passed from woman to man." It's a two-way street.

Edited for poor grammar.

[El-ahrairah]

When is adultery all right? Well forgive my Bronze Age morals, but... um... Never? Be you King David, Robert Baratheon, or Bill Clinton, it's evil pure and simple.

[Filippa Eilhart]

My husband is under no obligation to cook either. But if he never does then he shouldn't be surprised if I order a take-out.

:P

see, I would just expect you to cook for yourself :P

[GoN]

I don't mind cooking for myself. I love cooking for myself. But cooking for yourself 365 days a year gets old. Maybe you're tired. Maybe you're sick. Maybe you're just craving a little Indian. Sometimes you just want to lay back and have someone else satisfy your cravings. :smoking:

[Mlle. Zabzie]

LOL! I did read both those books ;)

Best thing my OB told me was to throw out "What to Expect." It's a great book for a lot of people, but it made both me and my husband more neurotic than we already were (which is really hard for two type A control freak lawyers, but we somehow managed). She gave me in its place a much less colloquial, more "medical" type book. Worked better for me.

Back on topic, everybody is allowed to be "not in the mood" sometimes, and I think in most relationships both partners occasionally have moments when they aren't in the mood, but go ahead anyhow because they sense that it's important at that moment to the other person, for whatever reason.

[TerraPrime]

And you may as well split up if you do not get pleasure from making your partner come, in and of itself.

Too true.

[MercenaryChef]

When is adultery all right? Well forgive my Bronze Age morals, but... um... Never? Be you King David, Robert Baratheon, or Bill Clinton, it's evil pure and simple.

with all due respect, young rabbit, you honestly do not possess the life experience to possibly properly weigh in on such a topic as 'evil pure and simple.' my marriage lasted well over half the length of your very existence. you are intelligent and passionate about your 'bronze age morals' but they just simply cannot be applied to our current world. relationships are far more complex and alive than something that can be boiled down as simple as you would like them to be. feel free to say what you will on this topic or any other, but your opinions are tainted by your limited life experience and the education and indoctrination you have received so far.

[Kalbear]

When is adultery all right? Well forgive my Bronze Age morals, but... um... Never? Be you King David, Robert Baratheon, or Bill Clinton, it's evil pure and simple

Yes, and the women should not have jobs, some people should be slaves, no one should ever eat shrimp and it's perfectly reasonable and acceptable to beat and rape your wife.

See! Moral platitudes based on a book are totally reasonable and absolute! And as long as you're a white male, there's nothing wrong with living that way!

[Stego]

Stego my post was a joke haha :P

This Robert Stanek he is simply the greatest Fantasy writer to ever live imho :P

You don't have to tell me who Robert Stanek is, mate. :D This shit is ollld.

[Stego]

When is adultery all right? Well forgive my Bronze Age morals, but... um... Never? Be you King David, Robert Baratheon, or Bill Clinton, it's evil pure and simple.

Edit:

Whatever, kid.

Your religion is the real evil, coupled with your ignorance.

[tenalpia]

I don't mind cooking for myself. I love cooking for myself. But cooking for yourself 365 days a year gets old. Maybe you're tired. Maybe you're sick. Maybe you're just craving a little Indian. Sometimes you just want to lay back and have someone else satisfy your cravings. :smoking:

I'd rather cook for myself 365 days a year and know that I'm getting quality ingredients and top notch skill. Getting take aways is so hit or miss - all that promise and so often a whole lot of disappointment.

I provide myself with 5 star cooking, why risk food poisoning? :P

[GoN]

I'd rather cook for myself 365 days a year and know that I'm getting quality ingredients and top notch skill. Getting take aways is so hit or miss - all that promise and so often a whole lot of disappointment.

I provide myself with 5 star cooking, why risk food poisoning? :P

Fair enough.

:P

[slim da reaper]

You don't have to tell me who Robert Stanek is, mate. :D This shit is ollld.

Haha k :P

In ruin mist Stanek's advice was "If your wife has lost interest, do not stray create an army of sock puppets to fufil your sexual needs" :P

[AverageGuy]

My friend

I'd stay out of it. And I would never recommend someone cheat on their SO.

In the abstract, is adultery alright? Eh, it's not such a great evil. I wouldn't even call it bad if the couple's agreed to an open marriage. However, barring that, if it would hurt one party, it sure as hell isn't good. Might as well just separate if you care more about sex than someone you're ostensibly committed to.

[tenalpia]

I may be of the opinion that infidelity is not acceptable but it is a long way, like light years away, from being pure and simple evil! That shit resides in a far darker place...

[TerraPrime]

That shit resides in a far darker place...

He looks pretty fair-skinned to me... :dunno: