Stannis Eats No Peaches Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 - Tyrion reports to Tywin that a Moon Brother stabbed a Stone Crow over a sausage. The following day the Stone Crows cut off the Moon Brother's throat. Why? "Perhaps they were hoping to get the sausage back" :dunno:This.Pretty much anything the clansmen say is hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan the Man Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 Jon Connington thinking about Duck as a Kingsguard- lucky he had managed to convince Aegon to leave the other 6 spots open, otherwise Duck might have been trailed by 6 ducklings, each more blindingly adequate than the last. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sol-3 Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 When Irri and Jhiqui bicker over something and both solemnly finish with "it is known". Cracked me up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florina Laufeyson Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 When Irri and Jhiqui bicker over something and both solemnly finish with "it is known". Cracked me up!"You are almost a boy. Rhakaro does not bed with boys. It is known.""It is known you are also a cow! Rhakaro does not bed with cows!"And Missandei is all just not playing attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Eater Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 "The Freys were bringing the fat fool a bag of bones. Some call that courtesy, to bring a man his dead son's bones. Had it been my son, I would have returned the courtesy, and thanked the Freys before I hanged them"-Lord Borell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunni Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 I have completely forgotten this. It was indeed classic :)I remember Renly laughing because Joffrey was disarmed/ beaten by a 10 year old girl. Very funny. There's another moment that always makes me laugh. Arya is still in Westeros. She's speaking with Lord Beric and Gendry and assessing herself. Gendry says she's not even strong enough to swing a war hammer. She replies "I could if I wanted!"It it just so like Arya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Flashheart Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 The only one who was even halfway presentable was young Baelor Hightower. A pretty lad, and my sister washalf in love with him until he had the misfortune to fart once in our presence. I promptly named him Baelor Breakwind, and after that Elia couldn’t look at him without laughing. I was a monstrous young fellow, someone should have sliced out my vile tongue.”Yes, Tyrion agreed silently. Baelor Hightower was no longer young, but he remained Lord Leyton’s heir; wealthy, handsome, and a knight of splendid repute. Baelor Brightsmile, they called him now. Had Elia wed him in place of Rhaegar Targaryen, she might be in Oldtown with her children growing tall around her. He wondered how many lives had been snuffed out by that fart.This had me laughing alot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod The Impaler Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Hah, I imagine Illyrio's blink looked a lot like Varys when told about Tyrion's plan.http://www.youtube.c...bOa_WD0nE#t=93sWhen Bronn mentions what he's done with all the thieves in King's Landing...http://www.youtube.c...cZ3lT4jY#t=114s"For questioning?""Uhh, no."Varys looked stricken - those were probably a good portion of his little birds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Pepper Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Sansa's first period. Totally not funny in context, but I do remember my thoughts when first reading the scene. At first I thought her dream happened truly and she was bleeding from a wound because there was just too much blood for it to be believable. I was very confused. I had to go back and read it again to understand. I felt very terrible for Sansa but I still couldn't stop myself from laughing at the very unrealistic descriptions of what her first period was like. It started out well enough with dreams about knives in the belly and then turned into a 'wtf? this is ridiculous' type of laughter. It was like every terrible thing imaginable GRRM could think of when it came to periods all wrapped up in one scene - PMS, cramps, blood like a waterfall, emotional, etc. Yeah, I laughed. Of course, like I said above, not funny at all in context. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MotherAnduin Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Jaime's severed hand which was tied around his neck routinely slapping Brienne's boobs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odon Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Gatehouse Ami says how her father was hung by outlaws. Her mother corrects it to "hanged", saying "Your father was not a tapestry."Lancel is told to marry Ami because she'd win over the Darry smallfolk. Jaime's cousin asks, "How, by fucking them?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelmHammerhand Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Love a ton of these, seriously some funny stuff and I agree that the Roose bastard diss is the nuclear diss, but my persona favorite has not been mentioned:Lord Manderly on the passing of Little Walder Frey: "Though mayhaps this was a blessing. Had he lived he would have grown up tobe a Frey"I laughed my ass of at this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommens Cat Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 When arya is in harrenhall and is going to sleep and repeating names. A lady asks for food and poliver hits her and arya starts saying poliver. Just cracks me up cause all the others in her list did way worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odon Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 The Hound decides to ransom Arya off to Lysa Arryn. "Maybe she'll marry you to her little Robert. Now there's a match I'd like to see." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shiola Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 This is right after Tywin has told Kevan and Tyrion all about Robb marrying Jeyne. He is talking about how lowborn the Westerling ancestors are and all of that, and Tyrion's narration says:"Having once married a whore, Tyrion could not entirely share his uncle's horror at the thought of wedding a girl whose great grandfather sold cloves."Something about that made me laugh out loud, which doesn't happen often when I read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TalalOfDorne Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 A lot of Cersei moments in Feast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Last Grenseer Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 "want some, your grace?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smelios Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 "Strong Belwas is hungry!" He roared at everyone and no one in particular. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Moff Mithrandir Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Nimble Dick to Brienne " for a stag i will take your maidenhood and show you what the nickname really means" :bowdown: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Eater Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Nimble Dick to Brienne " for a stag i will take your maidenhood and show you what the nickname really means" :bowdown:Oh that's a good one.A lot of Cersei moments in Feast.I need a cup of Arbor gold, during a meeting after the news arrived of Euron taking the Shield Islands. ALmost exactly what Robert would have thought during a council meeting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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