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About Datepalm

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    Barbarism and Decadence, Fuck Yeah.
  • Birthday 02/22/1987

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  1. I hate text messages. Let's not do those anymore. No, that's not true. I love text messages, they're efficient and fun and made of words. But the etiquette of the short, Chemistry Guy seems to prefer communicating by text, really long back-and-forths of jokes and the like (we racked up about 150 texts before ever meeting, according to my phone). Which I find...not terrible, but a little bit tedious and unproductive, or at least the obligation of replying, because if I don't reply at some point it's...something (?) when its not. Just ask me out. I'll agree. (I'll be nervous about it, but I'll agree.) Enough with the weeks (WEEKS) of texting. So I quit this week when he texted - I replied the next day. He replied the day after that. I replied the next day. Haven't heard from him since. Is he not interested or is he perceiving me as not interested? Followed by, am I actually interested? Curiouser and curiouser. (On the other, um, incommunicative Indian student, I've unfortunately realized that it would be absurdly difficult for him to drop by me in DRC and the dates probably won't work out - that's not the unfortunate part - but a lot more slightly less difficult for me to drop by him in Malawi, and the dates could work out. That is unfortunate, because that's the kind of thing I will totally not do, (in the circumstances - I love long, weird trips with the excuse/bonus of seeing someone at the end in general) except he brought it up so maaaaybe it doesn't count? Of course it counts. I am not hitchhiking across Zambia to say hi to some guy who won't answer my texts....except I totally would hitchhike across Zambia to say hi to someone I was happy being casual internet friends with. (Thanks again all board people who have let me crash on their couches...) So maybe I should hitchhike across Zambia. You know. For me.)  
  2. Careerchat

    Anything full-time - sure. This is a long term volunteer thing. Sometimes very intense, sometimes a few hours a week. It's like I'd spent years being a volunteer scout master, and was applying for, say, a position as a summer camp guide. It's relevant experience, but it doesn't quite add up to list it as employment. Eh, bureaucracy.
  3. Maybe? Who knows anymore, eh. I mean, I do enjoy his company and mostly think he's a decent person, despite - or because - of various oddities and frustrations. Then, he brings out a side of me I'm not really used to encountering anywhere else and i'm kind of surprised to discover exists at all. Maybe it needed someone who's socially and emotionally out past lunar orbit to give me some room to experiment. It's a curious experience. Finally, I think some of this has to do more with stuff I'm going through than anything he's doing per se - I feel a somewhat similar frustration and distance and self-doubt with a lot of people in my life right now, but there's not a thread that's thematically convenient to vent about being confused and hurt by the friends you don't have a crush on. (And that's all less weird and features less travel.) Maybe there should be.
  4. Economist dude: Hey, maybe I'll be in malawi in March. I could swing by DRC if you're there. Yeah. Don't even know what to respond. (I might actually be in DRC in march.) It would - literally - be faster, cheaper and more convenient to swing by Israel, including if one is starting in Malawi, than by Lubumbashi, a distinctly un-swing-by-able place. (only three international connections, none convenient to Malawi, not itself a major air hub, would you believe,) I mean, it's obviously not going to happen. This is a person I can't rely on to reply to a text message, am I supposed to now pretend i'm actually making plans to meet up in the bloody DRC? A country that needs an invitation letter, two months notice, a police record transcript and literally refusing to move from the embassy lobby (ie, the kitchen of this old apartment behind Rabin Square with an odd smell, pictures of gorillas from the 70's and a conveniently broken doorbell) at one point to get a visa to? Is he just doing this to annoy me? Because he's succeeding.
  5. Careerchat

    Don't get me started on figuring out what to do with my military service on anything international....
  6. Careerchat

    Does anyone have advice on an issue with filling out forms rather than just sending a CV for a position: what if my most relevant experience for the position is (extensive) volunteer/activist stuff, and the section for it is nonexistent or very minimal? Do I stuff it in employment history? The amorphous "additional information" box? I'm ok putting things like full-time fellowships, etc, as employment, but this is years with an organization in a variety of roles and at different levels of intensity and it feels dodgy to put it down as 6-odd years of employment. (And then there's 2-3 other relevant but smaller volunteer gigs I'm not sure what to do with either...)
  7. FWIW, I'm a woman looking for something very, very casual, and much more interested in finding someone - also ok with multiple someones - I find attractive enough - whatever that means - to sleep around with and absolutely do not want any kind of settling down to be anywhere on, near, or in the same time zone as the table...and it's tricky and frustrating and not having a lot of luck. So I think my - and everyone's - impression of men (or women) having the 'upper hand' is simply due to sampling bias.
  8. Spontaneously asked Chemistry Guy for coffee when I found myself near his office today...caught up a bit, but kind of unenthusiastic? Or just nothing much to tell? I dunno. He's apparently still swamped and in the middle of some sort of farcical academic tragi-comedy involving deep layers of unhapiness and resentment in an a international crew of bickering physicists centered on someone moving a chair too loudly. I find this pleasing as a situation but other than that not sure this was a particularly successful date. Next move, if any, is his, I think.
  9. ...yeah, one thing to another and it's coffee tommorrow evening if the snow doesn't shut the city down by then. (Having just gotten back from being alone in a foreign city for work for a couple months, I'm really sympathetic to his slightly desperate "I have no plans I know no one anything you suggest!" type text.)
  10. Boring foods

    I like raw cucumber just as is just fine. And add a bit of salt or yogurt or both or something, and it's a whole food-meal-type-thing. Nothing wrong with cucumber.
  11. Watch, Watched, Watching: The Director's Cut

    Still watching Gilmore Girls...made it to season 6. I've somewhat warmed to Lorelei. She goes through some stuff and takes it well. Rory, on the other hand, is just becoming more and more of an unspeakably obnoxious Mary Sue with each episode. The writers seem to have this idea of her being the cinderella to a narcissitic blonde millionaire prince since day 1 and keep coming back to it, no matter how much it goes against everything else they're always telling us about who she is. I love Matt Czuchry on the Good Wife, and he does his best here to give him some charm that might explain why the hell this - supposedly - brilliantly ambitious introvert of a girl might be drawn to him, but there's no making Logan anything but a smarmy tween fantasy of a rich bad-boy boyfriend. I'm also starting to think some of it is down to how much of a flouncing limpid wet paper towel Alexis Bledel's acting here is. The same quirky-witty-determined-entitled "this is me, I'm awesome, deal with it," monologue when Lauren Graham as Lorelei delivers it has some shred of charisma that makes it work at least sometimes and gives a sense of a woman who's determined to get something at least approaching what she wants from life. When Rory does the same kind of thing, she's never anything but whiny and absurd and you wonder why anyone even stays in the same room with her.
  12. FWIW, Theda, I think "naturally friendly" (and even "naturally a tad flirty") is a fairly great quality to have. It wouldn't be something people describe as flirty is it was weird/overboard/etc. To me it sounds like you're friendly and you're nice and you're doing something right, and probably more comfortable in your own skin - when you're not stressing out about it - than you realize. In the opposite of comfortably flirty, I now have a third PhD student to awkwardly text with! This one, phew, isn't Indian. He's Catalan. because that's a much more sensible place. Where do I find these people? Well, this one was found at a hummus place last week where I couldn't resist the sting to my pride of not identifying what language these guys were speaking (Catalan, as may be gathered) and struck up a conversation. Since he's new in town and only here for a few months (doing some PhD internship thing) I gave him my number with the intention of inviting him to a Friday dinner (a bulwark of Jerusalem social life) which I had a vague plan of doing with roomates and couchsurfers. Roomates were sick, couchsurfers cancelled, friends bailed, my parents moved my Dad's birthday party, in short - it didn't happen. Now he texted me asking if I'm doing anything his week - on a Sunday morning when any plan i've mentioned is set for Friday night. So...I wouldn't mind like asking him to just meet for coffee (either dateyishly or just to hang out...I have a lot of sympathy for being a person who doesn't speak the language in a new city right now and he seemed nice,) but would that be presumptous? How much does he get the kind of open-door hospitality cultural norm of a Jerusalem Friday dinner? It's a different invite. I feel like I need to engineer a social situation of some kind to invite him to, because who knows what I mean if I invite him to hang out just the two of us. On the other hand, the text I was just about to send - I'll let you know if we do anything this Friday - seems awfully cold. So. Dilemma.    
  13. You know what's good for something approaching a panic attack? All your colleagues - your your-age colleagues - spending lunch discussing mortgages and school districts with rabid, bright eyed enthusiasm and total conviction while you try to work up the courage to text your new landlord on whatsapp because, honestly, a six month lease, I mean, that's a long time, and, uh, you, know, parents do have a couch and stuff, and then procrastinate from doing that by toying with the idea of texting that guy you went on a second date with two months ago (ie, the most serious relationship of your life,) but don't because, well, he might answer. You decide to compromise by doing neither, but finally calling that new therapist. And sending your boss a call for proposals for a 2 year long project in Cameroon. Hey, they have trains in Cameroon.
  14. Oregon militia almost killed me

    Inquiring minds!