Datepalm

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About Datepalm

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    Barbarism and Decadence, Fuck Yeah.
  • Birthday 02/22/1987

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  1. Dating: Hell is Other People

    Well, it's worked so far, but it's a very small extra step. The plaintiveness of having to now 'request contact' first to say anything on the most spontaneous channels (facebook, skype) is offputting and an extra barrier, I guess, and I flat-out asked him to not contact me ever again, so that's that - but it's not a huge hurdle, and the oh-so-casual email remains annoyingly available, for example. And we're still Linkedin contacts. And both on Zotero, to get really esoteric. And someone innocently asked me just the other day if I'd read the paper he published and then I couldn't resist looking that up. (Dull but actually kind of citable for my barely-even-a-proposal-thesis. (Won't. (But wouldn't it be funny if...(No. (Although...(and then I was half way through drafting a sci-fi story where two people could only communicate by academic citations because there was an interplanetary cold war on and they both had to pursue increasingly convoluted avenues of complementary but not obviously corresponding research to be able to keep it up, and then the interplanetary KGB, who are actually the main characters, cracked the code but realized that it could lead to a breakthrough in contacting aliens or something like that and then I really start wondering what the hell goes on in my head.))))))
  2. Dating: Hell is Other People

    HOW did you do that? I would love to do that (I don't have his number, we're not connected on any social media, etc), but short of managing to forget the guy's actual name, (sadly, an easy to spell and remember name) I can't remove my access to any number of very convenient, very immediate channels. (facebook, skype, email, viber, whatsapp...it's a big, shiny internet out there.) BTW - I've kinda finalized my Pune trip this summer. Any tips?
  3. Dating: Hell is Other People

    The result will be weird. We always add up to weird. I'm obviously into that, I just think he's only tolerating me. Which sucks. Which is why i'm resisting. Sometimes I waver though. Anyway, I was discussing this with my roomate yesterday - who's disappointed with himself for being a bi, genderqueer polyamorous type who's somehow by pure coincidence spent the last 15 years in a series of long term, monogamous relationships with women, and so decided to cheat on his girlfriend, break up with her, and try to sleep with a guy living in a monastary who showed up on grindr (Jerusalem :dunno:) - and we decided that if i'm going for transgressive, I need to find a proper hard-core racist settler. I can do better than some mired-in-neoclassical-economics-American. The spectrum goes wider than that. Sorry, this Australian was boring. I call 'em as I see 'em.
  4. Dating: Hell is Other People

    Texting mad economist guy is a terrible idea, right? Right. Right? Left? No, right. Capitalist by thoughtless default. Believes people are essentially rational economic actors. (Poor thing has no choice, really. It is sometimes like listening to a twitter bot who's only input texts were Freakonomics and a couple of Thomas Friedman columns about globalization. (Seriously what is wrong with me?)) Terrible idea. But...well...yes, rationally he's a miserable barely-presence in my life, but its a productive kind of misery. I mean, literally. He annoys me and I get things done. Dating boring Australians barely present is an unproductive kind of misery. They annoy me and I watch six episodes of Northern Exposure instead of getting up in the morning. That makes sense. Right? (ok I don't do well with unemployment and weddings and having to sort out my own schedule.)
  5. 150!?! Lol. This one was about 150, which puts it at the very smallest end of what might be considered within the social norm in Israel. Any smaller than that, and it's something strange and notable. 3-400 is standard, 500+ not unusual. And that's in the secular, Jewish sector. I've been to Arab weddings of 1000 plus people, which I always find just bizarre (in terms of the need for my presence, I mean, being as I don't like weddings. If you're someone who does, by all mean), but inevitably the bride/groom (whoever i'm connected to) will somehow find me and note my presence and tell me how important it is I showed up, in this crowd and yup, I have to go to the next one as well. My parent's wedding had 11 people, including them, which I regard as reasonable. Basically goes to my argument of seeing a wedding as a private rather than public affair. Only people who need to be there...should be there. I suppose 65 is fine in the sense that you can have a good relationship with someone, or be an old but distant friend, but not read anything whatsoever into not being in the closest 65 people to them, especially taking into account family. ETA - or 32.5 closest people, assuming a 0 level of overlap in the two parties social circles. Even better!
  6. I do not like weddings. I do not enjoy them, people. I do not enjoy very small falafels and lots of things featuring aragula and getting unintentionally tipsy on a patio overlooking a highway (frankly, I somewhat enjoyed the highway.) I particularly am not fond of stilted conversations with people I haven't seen in five years and being dragged back to periods of my life that are pretty solidly dead. You do not need me at you wedding, friend I no longer actually speak to because we've had a falling out, but mostly because our lives have nothing in common any more, socially, life-stageily and increasingly geographically. I do not need to be at your wedding. We do not need this small mutual irritant of a rubber band of guilt and nostalgia stretched between us in the form of you feeling a need to invite, and me feeling a need to attend, else it's some kind of bridge-burning. I do not, however, blame you. Nor me. I blame the institution of the big wedding and it's associated signifiers of attendance and non-attendance, which both of us were trapped by residual affection and a decade of shared history into politely but pointlessly observing. In short, if weddings were sensibly sized affairs in this country, and carried sensible social and emotional cachet in general, we would not have found ourselves in this situation. You could have not invited me, and it would have meant nothing, and I could have not gone, and it would have meant nothing, and our friendship could have continued on to it's gradual decline or someday resurrection without this new stumbling block of an awkward encounter involving high heels and small sandwiches which is so staggeringly unrepresentative of either of us. That's all.
  7. In politics, what is a 'young person'?

    High schools are rife with Marxist professors now? Nice.
  8. Dating: Hell is Other People

    The question is whether her inattentiveness is actually unattractive to you or not. Some people are chatty, it's not necessarily a flaw.
  9. Dating: Hell is Other People

    First time I ever even understood the logic of being attracted to an older teacher (imbalance of power, authority and experience generally strikes me as a turnoff) was a small lit class. Four months on French post structuralism and what it means to be touched by a text and yup, there it was. Words work, why can't people use them correctly? Makes me miss Mad Economist PhD guy, sadly, as monologues about the most banal aspects of air travel were something of the man's specialty. Now there was 40 minutes on flier miles so sincere and deranged that I quickly found myself trying to figure out how to segue into phone sex just to make him shut up. (failed). All I managed to summon up here was ' Yes, I understand. Australia IS very far away.'
  10. Dating: Hell is Other People

    I suppose, in a way, from her perspective it was a very enjoyable evening.
  11. Dating: Hell is Other People

    What did you reply? Because by definition, that was therefore a better date than the guy who called it a night by walking me to the end of the block. There was also bizarrely profuse sweating at one point, which I really didn't understand.
  12. Dating: Hell is Other People

    Date last night. Australian tourist. 20 minutes on frequent flier miles, 40 minutes on the uses of USB drives. I don't know where I find them.
  13. In politics, what is a 'young person'?

    Depends on particular local political circumstances, I think. In some places in Africa, "youth" can easily mean up to 45 - it has less to do with age than with failing to achieve some of the trappings and milestones of adulthood in fairly traditional societies, like getting an education, having a regular job, being able to build a house and therefore get married, etc. Poverty or war can mean that those never happened to a huge swathe of the population, so there you go - a particular demographic constituting particular problems. In Israel it's a lot in the context of home ownership. In the USA student debt and underemployment seem to be the thing. I'm sure each place has it's own stuff that defines youth as a political class.
  14. Stupid Questions: The Triumphant Return

    People who don't shower yet feel compelled to keep up appearances, I suppose.
  15. Stupid Questions: The Triumphant Return

    Mmm, I feel like I'm a ways away from that kind of effective networking or whatever. I randomly endorse people for things that seem reasonable when it encourages me to ("Oh, I worked with that guy for a month at that thing. I think I asked him to send something to the printer for me once. I don't recall anything catching fire. All right, endorse for Javascript,") say yes to everyone (I think I have about 100 people,) sometimes trawl through its suggestions and send invites to people I know when procrastinating, and am careful to avoid ever accidentally sending anything to a professor (cringe!) I have never actually used it for anything ever. What I've been told is that profile contents are more or less meaningless, but that it does need to exist and not look juvenile, as some kind of mark of modern professionalism. I've got most of the more respectable places i've been involved in penciled in, but no details, and I'm pretty happy to leave it at that. But I've got a nagging sense I should fill it out if I'm job-hunting again. Hence feeling like this is a stupid question.