Rant and Rave without Repercussion [Book Spoilers]

[R4W13Y]

I see that the positive nitpicking thread has 0 replies and 0 views. Wonder why.

I didn't believe you, but holy shit, you're right.

Just a heads up people: Dany used blood magic to start her whole career. She burned a rape victim and genocide survivor alive in a magic ritual that awakened her dragons from eggs turned to stone. So yeah...there's some tainted by blood magic to go around all over the place.

:agree:

I don't mind the blood magic aspect of it. I just hate that Jon will be changed when he is resurrected, like LSH, and I'm not sure what changes there'll be.

[Cas Stark]

Even in the books, Stannis is looking like a loser, if you care to see beyond your favouritism for him.

I don't have favoritism for Stannis. But, how is he looking like a loser? Now, it's possible the pink letter is accurate, though almost no readers have believed that, and he will be dead at the outset of Winds...in which case of course he won't have been able to burn his daughter alive.

But last we saw him, he had just hooked up with a banker, presumably carrying lots of cash. He had uncovered the Karstark treachery. The Boltons decided to leave Winterfell and meet him in the field after all. And his men are not sell sword losers, but Northerners who are ready to die for Ned's little girl.

[Twenty of House Goodmen]

Even in the books, Stannis is looking like a loser, if you care to see beyond your favouritism for him.

And in the event that he does lose in the books, what was the point of making him burn Shireen in the show? Because if he somehow manages to survive the Battle of Ice after losing, and make his way to the wall, that would be incredibly bad storytelling by GRRM considering he couldn't even make it to Winterfell in autumn.

[HexMachina]

I don't have favoritism for Stannis. But, how is he looking like a loser? Now, it's possible the pink letter is accurate, though almost no readers have believed that, and he will be dead at the outset of Winds...in which case of course he won't have been able to burn his daughter alive.

But last we saw him, he had just hooked up with a banker, presumably carrying lots of cash. He had uncovered the Karstark treachery. The Boltons decided to leave Winterfell and meet him in the field after all. And his men are not sell sword losers, but Northerners who are ready to die for Ned's little girl.

And he is facing Bolton's allies who are of dubious loyalty.

[Kikajon]

I just misread "raped" Shireen..why not..now anything goes!

It is difficult to say which was the most embarrassing moment.

[Borodin]

D1: How do we have Arya kill Trent?

D2: Trant. How about she kills him with Needle, like in the books. You know, like a professional. She is in assassin school after all.

D1: Yeah. That's true, but remember the buzz we generated when the Mountain crushed Obelyne's eyes in Tyson's trial by combat?

D2: You mean Oberyn at Tyrion's trial by combat. But I catch your drift. "The Mountain and the Viper" was our most popular episode next to the one we invented out of thin air: "Hardhome". Eye-gouging is ratings gold!

D1: High-five, genius friend!

[Kikajon]

I just misread "raped" Shireen..why not..now anything goes!

It is difficult to say which was the most embarrassing moment.

[Eucratides_Megas]

I didn't believe you, but holy shit, you're right.

:agree:

I don't mind the blood magic aspect of it. I just hate that Jon will be changed when he is resurrected, like LSH, and I'm not sure what changes there'll be.

Yeah, that's the sucky part. GRRM said the ending would be bittersweet, and what's more bittersweet than saving humanity but being changed forever, and not for the better? Stannis, Jon, Dany...they're all shaped by their goals in good ways and bad.

[Prince of the North]

If I had not been spoiled to the books, and expecting the WoS, I, too, would have counted it as one of many scenes denegrating women, having gratuitious nudity, etc. I really can't blame them for even dismissing good scenes when the context/ environment of the show does not fit organically.

I agree. Yes, let's not forget that the context of the WoS in the books is completely different that that of the show because the character Cercei is completely different in the show! As you say, that's the problem - it's not organic. And, of course, literally anyone could predict that it would be a recurring problem when the strategy of adapting the story has been to write backwards from practically each plot point with very little concern for internal consistency, logic, etc. Sorry, I feel compelled to bang my head against a brick wall some more! :bang:

[HexMachina]

Yay for Emilia. Deadpan actually did some decent acting this week. Who'd of thunk it?

[Eucratides_Megas]

D1: How do we have Arya kill Trent?

D2: Trant. How about she kills him with Needle, like in the books. You know, like a professional. She is in assassin school after all.

D1: Yeah. That's true, but remember the buzz we generated when the Mountain crushed Obelyne's eyes in Tyson's trial by combat?

D2: You mean Oberyn at Tyrion's trial by combat. But I catch your drift. "The Mountain and the Viper" was our most popular episode next to the one we invented out of thin air: "Hardhome". Eye-gouging is ratings gold!

D1: High-five, genius friend!

Can someone do a flash video parody using these bits as a script? This would be fucking hilarious. And please keep them coming :)

[R4W13Y]

Can someone do a flash video parody using these bits as a script? This would be fucking hilarious. And please keep them coming :)

Seriously. Obelyne and Tyson :rofl:

[Follmann]

Yay for Emilia. Deadpan actually did some decent acting this week. Who'd of thunk it?

Yeah, she was great as that wooden post in the FTW scene.

[The Knight in Motley]

Reader

Your false plot is dead, reader. It and all its characters were smashed in 10 weeks of episodes. I have its ending. Tell its author.

Your false plot's themes are dead. Their metaphors smeared upon the walls of Winterhell. Come see them, reader. Your false plot lied, and so did George RR Martin. You told the world Sansa was getting smarter. Instead she went to Winterhell to be raped by Ramsbo.

I will have my shocking moments back. If you want the ending to your story, come and get it. I have it on HBO for all the world to see, proof of your lies. The network is greedy, but we have made a promise to spoil the 7 terrible books that started this series in Winterhell.

I want my gasps back. I want the false plot’s canon. I want to remove as many fantasy elements as possible. I want more whores.

I want to exploit them, their naked bodies. And I want my Saint Tyrion. Send them to me, reader, and I will not trouble you or your nerd friends. Keep them from me, and I will cut out your story’s heart and eat it.

Benioff the Arrogant,

Trueborn author of A Song of Ice and Fire.

There are not enough upvotes in this world... :bowdown:

[The Northern Scholar]

So, it's been 30 pages or so since I posted (I think) and I'm still irrationally upset over the possibility that a stupid EW interview spoiled something like Jon Snow's fate. It's not like there are no reasons to think he'll survive. There are many narrative threads that would be left dangling. It's really bothering me.

On topic, I want to talk about Arya again. I've posted here how much I love Arya's House of B&W storyline. I hate that her warning was completely absent. I hate that they dropped Cat. I hate that the struggle isn't "Arya vs. No one" but "REVENGE vs No One."

Mostly, I felt her killing of Trant was terrible. The beating of the young girls was unnecessary. More so, I felt like I was watching a scene from Kill Bill. The way the show portrayed her killing of Trant came off as so cheap. I hated it.

[HexMachina]

Yeah, she was great as that wooden post in the FTW scene.

She wasn't phenomenal, but she was hardly "deadpan" this week.

[Daenerys_Is_Coming]

Some predictions: Sam will arrive in Oldtown within the first two episodes, meanwhile it'll feel like maybe a day has gone by at the Wall. Jaime will return to King's Landing instead of Dorne. Bronn will refuse a prostitute and say he's longing for "bad Dornish pussy". Melisandre will use nudity to manipulate or kill Thorne. Balon will die randomly within the first three episodes, Euron will arrive almost immediately after. Euron will be introduced abusing a young woman; the scene will be at least 3 minutes long. Dany will be or will almost be raped by the Dothraki. Doran will allow Ellaria to live for some reason, instead Nym will get the chop. Someone will threaten to rape Yara. Bran will be a Master Warg when we first meet him. We'll see the same flashback hinting towards R + L a dozen times. The Harpies will like Tyrion. Daario and Jorah will have a fight over Dany.

That's too good for D+D!

Sam will arrive in Oldtown within the first two episodes (and little Sam will still be an infant), meanwhile it will be tomorrow on the wall as Mel stands over Jon's dead body. She will try to save him with the power of boobies, but fails when she catches Olly peeping thorugh a window. He'll nod in appreciation of her magnificent busom.

Jaime will return to King's Landing, but only after he makes a brief stop at Evenfall Hall to ask Daddy Tarth for his daughter's hand in marriage. Bronn will refuse a prostitute and say he's longing for "bad Dornish pussy". Melisandre will use nudity to manipulate Thorne into burning Daavos at the stake so they can forget about the Rickon storyline. Balon will die off screen and Euron will give the eulogy at his funeral. Euron will be introduced abusing a young woman; the scene will be at least 13 minutes long.

Dany will almost be raped by a Dothraki until Drogon flies in and burns his cock off. The Dothraki see this as great power and ride with her back to Mereen (in one episode, no less) Doran will allow Ellaria to go to KL for some reason, taking the Sand Snakes with her. Tommen will fall in love with the most beautiful woman in the world, so Cersei sends zombie Mountain to kill the sisters, but Bronn shows up and saves his Dornish pussy. A dead Mountain means that Cersie can't use him for trial by combat, so Jamie and Lancel duel to the latter's death, with Jamie giving Lancel a triumphant gold middle finger. F**k Yeah!

Ramsay will threaten to rape Yara. (He needs something to do, right?) Bran will be a Master Warg, flying on the back of Hodor who has magically sprouted wings. The Harpies will totes like Tyrion, because, I mean... who doesn't? He's funny! They'll surrender to Tyrion and help him build a giant saddle to ride Viscerion after he bravely frees that dragons. Daario and Jorah will find Dany's ring in THE MIDDLE OF THE DOTHRAKI SEA and totally realize they're on the right path!

Finally, we'll see/hear the same flashbacks hinting towards R + L a dozen times, culminating in a botched attempt to burn Jon's body as he emerges from the ashes with three tiny dragons and on his naked body.

[BadPussy]

Shit episode but i'm so happy we finally have some closure on Benjen, hands up if you guessed that he warged in a piece of wood

One of the funniest things I have read on here.

[Follmann]

She wasn't phenomenal, but she was hardly "deadpan" this week.

Joking aside, I can agree on that. Maybe pert of the problem are some of the other actors she shares scenes with.

[Anarchosaurus Rex]

So, it's been 30 pages or so since I posted (I think) and I'm still irrationally upset over the possibility that a stupid EW interview spoiled something like Jon Snow's fate. It's not like there are no reasons to think he'll survive. There are many narrative threads that would be left dangling. It's really bothering me.

On topic, I want to talk about Arya again. I've posted here how much I love Arya's House of B&W storyline. I hate that her warning was completely absent. I hate that they dropped Cat. I hate that the struggle isn't "Arya vs. No one" but "REVENGE vs No One."

Mostly, I felt her killing of Trant was terrible. The beating of the young girls was unnecessary. More so, I felt like I was watching a scene from Kill Bill. The way the show portrayed her killing of Trant came off as so cheap. I hated it.

The killing of Trant had too much talking.