Quorra Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Lmao! Whoa! How much recon was applied to this endeavor? Did you consider how this archaeology fella may react when he finds out that you stalked his ex? This sounds like the plot of a Wes Anderson film. I found out where she worked and I went there a few times, figured out which one she was. I think he'll be flattered. I sure would be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arbor Gold Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 So I'm pretty sure I blew it with North Carolina Guy by inviting another guy along on our date. :lol: The thing is, I wasn't all that excited about this date - I'd worn a cute outfit but also wore my hair in a low ponytail to indicate that I wasn't trying very hard to impress him. While walking the block and a half to the bar, I ran into the very cute door guy/barback from my corner saloon. He and I hugged hello, chatted a bit, and he ended up changing the direction he was walking and walking with me down to where I was going. We stopped out in front and chatted some more, then he asked if I was meeting someone or just hanging out. I was enjoying our conversation so I said that I was meeting someone, that I wasn't excited about it, and that he should stay for one drink. Plus, I was there early so we had about 20 minutes before North Carolina Guy was due to arrive so I figured the timing wouldn't be too bad. Unfortunately, Cute Door Guy and I got distracted and did a lot of talking, so by the time NCG arrived, we were literally in the middle of cheersing with our drinks and taking our first sips. Cute Door Guy did a great job of chatting with North Carolina Guy but my interactions were half-hearted at best. When Cute Door Guy left I walked him out. We hugged goodbye and he told me; "I'm working tonight starting at 9, you should come hang out with me." I replied with "maybe" and we parted ways and of course I was there at 9:30 "to watch the end of the Giants game on my way home." :leer: North Carolina Guy and I had a few drinks at the first place and two drinks at another place. I'm honestly not even certain how we left things - I'm pretty sure I just did a "well, this was cool, have a good night" and went on my way. I do know that we got into a disagreement about bar etiquette and at another point he was playing devil's advocate regarding something related to GoT and I told him he was being stupid. I haven't heard from him since and I don't want to see him again so that's that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inigima Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 If you don't want to go out with someone, please don't waste their time by, in fact, going out with them. Also, your head games about hairstyle would not so much as register with most of us. We do not know how to read hairstyle for level of interest and are not even aware that that is possible. I know I would be terribly insulted if I showed up for a date and my date was clearly halfway into a date with another dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quorra Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 So I'm pretty sure I blew it with North Carolina Guy by inviting another guy along on our date. :lol: The thing is, I wasn't all that excited about this date - I'd worn a cute outfit but also wore my hair in a low ponytail to indicate that I wasn't trying very hard to impress him. While walking the block and a half to the bar, I ran into the very cute door guy/barback from my corner saloon. He and I hugged hello, chatted a bit, and he ended up changing the direction he was walking and walking with me down to where I was going. We stopped out in front and chatted some more, then he asked if I was meeting someone or just hanging out. I was enjoying our conversation so I said that I was meeting someone, that I wasn't excited about it, and that he should stay for one drink. Plus, I was there early so we had about 20 minutes before North Carolina Guy was due to arrive so I figured the timing wouldn't be too bad. Unfortunately, Cute Door Guy and I got distracted and did a lot of talking, so by the time NCG arrived, we were literally in the middle of cheersing with our drinks and taking our first sips. Cute Door Guy did a great job of chatting with North Carolina Guy but my interactions were half-hearted at best. When Cute Door Guy left I walked him out. We hugged goodbye and he told me; "I'm working tonight starting at 9, you should come hang out with me." I replied with "maybe" and we parted ways and of course I was there at 9:30 "to watch the end of the Giants game on my way home." :leer: North Carolina Guy and I had a few drinks at the first place and two drinks at another place. I'm honestly not even certain how we left things - I'm pretty sure I just did a "well, this was cool, have a good night" and went on my way. I do know that we got into a disagreement about bar etiquette and at another point he was playing devil's advocate regarding something related to GoT and I told him he was being stupid. I haven't heard from him since and I don't want to see him again so that's that. Play on Playa. Question about the ponytail: Does it go higher on your head the more interested you are in a guy? What does a side pony indicate? Pigtails? What about a sock bun?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 I know I would be terribly insulted if I showed up for a date and my date was clearly halfway into a date with another dude. I agree, that would be pretty rough. I have never been on a date that I'm not at least a little bit psyching myself up with "this is going to go well and not be uncomfortable!" The idea of walking in and there being another dude there would suck. Doubly so if she seems to have good chemistry with other dude. I would really want to leave ASAP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arbor Gold Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Ini, I know I behaved horrendously wrt inviting Other Dude. That was my bad. However, the point of the date was to show the first guy cool spots in my neighborhood. We spent 4 hours together and he loved both places I took him so I don't consider it a waste of his time just because I had no intention of hooking up with him. Play on Playa. Question about the ponytail: Does it go higher on your head the more interested you are in a guy? What does a side pony indicate? Pigtails? What about a sock bun?? A couple of months ago I was in a gay-ish bar and received fashion advice from a dude there. I had my hair pulled back and he said: "Darling, straight men don't want to fuck women who look like boys. Wear your hair down. And put on lipstick". It's been pretty solid advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raja Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 I personally like hair tied up or short hair - the latter is so rare in women my age (20s) that I can't help but do a double take when I see someone with it. I wouldn't have picked up on the low ponytail bit either - it's not even something I would think of. Either ways, got another date of OKCupid this weekend. The last one ( with a different person) was okay, but I think we both realised that the chemistry just wasn't there. The good thing is that we've hung out as friends multiple times and I've got a chance to see more of the city. Edit: I thought Quorra was trolling us with all that stuff, tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 I found out where she worked and I went there a few times, figured out which one she was. I think he'll be flattered. I sure would be. You would be flattered if you found out some dude you like was stalking your ex? I find that really, really hard to believe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Kilmore Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 I found out where she worked and I went there a few times, figured out which one she was. I think he'll be flattered. I sure would be. Then, You do you. ETA: Sarcasm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NestorMakhnosLovechild Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 I found out where she worked and I went there a few times, figured out which one she was. I think he'll be flattered. I sure would be. I feel like this is the beginning of a story that ends in either a threesome and eventual double murder, or a jail time resulting from the violation of a restraining order, with the threesome being optional in that case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Much as I subscribe to and support the "Do you" philosophy of life I feel this is one situation where 'do you' does not and should not apply. If doing you involves stalking anyone for any reason...stop doing you. Stop doing you immediately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted July 22, 2015 Author Share Posted July 22, 2015 I guess different cultures have different meanings, and a ponytail on a date or when you're chilling with a lady, at least where I'm from, is used to indicate openness to the idea of sex (though certainly not that sex is bound to happen). Most of the women from home I've dated would wear a ponytail on the first date for this reason. Do other people have other subtle ways of expressing their openness to the idea of sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch-MaesterPhilip Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Do you respect that person? If so, should you not respect his/her assessment of you? If s/he finds you handsome and charming, then why would you disrespect him/her by denying them that assessment? We each are attractive to some people. Sometimes, we get lucky, and the people who are attracted to us are also the people we are attracted to. Those are the people we should date. Just because a lot of people might not find us attractive or funny or date-able, it should not rob us of the motivation or initiative to date the ones who do. What kind of disservice is it to those who do find us attractive and charming if the payment for their sensibility is to be told they are wrong? Early on, I've dated a guy who does feel that he's unloveable, unattractive, and etc. He was actually very hot, to me. I did my best to convince him that I do find him attractive and loveable, but (1) I was too young to know how to do it well and (2) I eventually got tired after a few months of being shut down. Then I guess it became a fulfilled prophecy, because at the end I did find not not love-able. That sort of thing has happened to me in the past honestly. The only difference is I am able to suppress feelings of inadequacy or self loathing for a little bit. But once they start peeling back the layers and see what's beneath they usually don't like it for the very reasons you describe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Kilmore Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Much as I subscribe to and support the "Do you" philosophy of life I feel this is one situation where 'do you' does not and should not apply. If doing you involves stalking anyone for any reason...stop doing you. Stop doing you immediately. That comment was meant with Strong Sarcasm, as I articulated my thoughts on this action already in the thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mexal Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 I guess different cultures have different meanings, and a ponytail on a date or when you're chilling with a lady, at least where I'm from, is used to indicate openness to the idea of sex (though certainly not that sex is bound to happen). Most of the women from home I've dated would wear a ponytail on the first date for this reason. Do other people have other subtle ways of expressing their openness to the idea of sex? Where are you from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 That comment was meant with Strong Sarcasm, as I articulated my thoughts on this action already in the thread. I am the dumb. I guess different cultures have different meanings, and a ponytail on a date or when you're chilling with a lady, at least where I'm from, is used to indicate openness to the idea of sex (though certainly not that sex is bound to happen). Most of the women from home I've dated would wear a ponytail on the first date for this reason. Do other people have other subtle ways of expressing their openness to the idea of sex? Jelly bracelets. Duh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted July 22, 2015 Author Share Posted July 22, 2015 Where are you from? Akron, Ohio. I refer to local culture when I speak of culture, just for clarification. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted July 22, 2015 Author Share Posted July 22, 2015 I am the dumb. Jelly bracelets. Duh. Is that what those were for? I know they were a thing in middle school and early high school but I wasn't sexually active through most of high school, so I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quorra Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Much as I subscribe to and support the "Do you" philosophy of life I feel this is one situation where 'do you' does not and should not apply. If doing you involves stalking anyone for any reason...stop doing you. Stop doing you immediately. Who would Jesus do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Is that what those were for? I know they were a thing in middle school and early high school but I wasn't sexually active through most of high school, so I don't know. Lol I don't know if anyone actually took them seriously. They were sort of an in-joke when I was in highschool cause that was around the time the news networks were fear mongering over them. "WHAT YOUR TEENAGER'S LATEST FASHION TRENDS REALLY MEANS, MORE AT 11!" We just played a game with popping them for points. You had to be ever vigilant of someone sneaking up to snap one off your wrist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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