NFL 2013 Week 2 Thread - Go back to college Chip Kelly!

[Jace, Extat]

YOU! It's all YOUR fault!

I'm sorry, I was lost in his dreamy, glazed-over, unfocused eyes...

People making sexist jokes actually are sexist. Shocking.

No, this is not the time and/or place. This might be surprising, but there actually are not times or places when sexist jokes such as Rhom's oh-so-clever "Derp...he's got lady parts hurr hurr" should be expected or are acceptable. What's not surprising is that those shitty kinds of jokes only get made at the expense of players that one doesn't like. That's the shitty opinion that you're advocating - feminine qualities have no place in the Manly Manland of Football (american).

What other groups do you comfortably mock within the safe confines of the Man Zone NFL Thread? Should I expect a level of homophobic jocularity as well? Maybe you have some gay "jokes" that you want to toss out? How about having a go at handicapped people?

I don't want to live in a world without inappropriate humor. There's a reason it's funny, and that reason is not because it's polite. If I know that someone would rather not hear such comments (as I now know you prefer), I'll refrain from making them myself. I think it's a very important trait to not take yourself (or life) too seriously. A friend I used to play D&D with had a very pronounced stutter, but he was the first person to make light of the condition. He was comfortable enough with himself and his friends to do so, if you are uncomfortable with comments of a sexual/sexist nature, then I'm sorry that my advocating them upset you. I'm not sorry that I find them humorous at times, but I am sorry that you were offended.

[BLU-RAY]

Wasn't the spread for this game like 13 points? With this offense, the Pats shouldn't be favored by double digits against anyone. Maybe not even a TD.

ETA: 'I'm sorry you were offended' is a bullshit defense. Why even post it? Ditto on the "I have a black friend" defense. And there's a significant difference between someone making fun of themselves and a group of friends joining in and a post on a public goddamn message board. The "safe space for sexist jokes" is pretty ridiculous also. Fuck, what about the women who post in this thread? Props to LL for saying something, I should've done so initially.

[Jabronius Maximus]

I'm sorry, I was lost in his dreamy, glazed-over, unfocused eyes...

I don't want to live in a world without inappropriate humor. There's a reason it's funny, and that reason is not because it's polite. If I know that someone would rather not hear such comments (as I now know you prefer), I'll refrain from making them myself. I think it's a very important trait to not take yourself (or life) too seriously. A friend I used to play D&D with had a very pronounced stutter, but he was the first person to make light of the condition. He was comfortable enough with himself and his friends to do so, if you are uncomfortable with comments of a sexual/sexist nature, then I'm sorry that my advocating them upset you. I'm not sorry that I find them humorous at times, but I am sorry that you were offended.

The super hardline stance on inappropriate humour is one of the many reasons I stopped browsing in the asoiaf book section of this site. I'll admit I too find it funny, but I also usually refrain from making those comments myself. Anyway, let's forget about this and bask in the Pats' glorious, gutsy win over the Jets.

[Jace, Extat]

Wasn't the spread for this game like 13 points? With this offense, the Pats shouldn't be favored by double digits against anyone. Maybe not even a TD.

ETA: 'I'm sorry you were offended' is a bullshit defense. Why even post it? Ditto on the "I have a black friend" defense. And there's a significant difference between someone making fun of themselves and a group of friends joining in and a post on a public goddamn message board. The "safe space for sexist jokes" is pretty ridiculous also. Fuck, what about the women who post in this thread? Props to LL for saying something, I should've done so initially.

Um... I'm a woman. And I fully admit that I was mistaken in saying that an NFL thread is a place for such jokes. If someone's uncomfortable with those comments, then they shouldn't be made. I made an assumption, I was wrong. I'm sorry that I said something that upset someone and I'll be mindful of that in the future. As far as my friend, who is not black, I was not using that as an excuse. I was sharing something that I've experienced, and trying to convey that I will -in fact- refrain from such offensive conduct in the future. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that it's not okay to willfully make someone uncomfortable, but humor (and acceptable humor) varies from individual to individual. I was obviously mistaken in my comment, and I'm sorry for making it. It's not an excuse, I was wrong. I apologize.

[BLU-RAY]

OK, fair enough. I apologize for the assumption you were a guy. Just as a note, the point of the "black friend" comment is that people who make insensitive comments will often try to prove they can't be prejudiced by pointing out that they have friends in the relevant group.

Anyhow, Smith seemed pretty composed post-loss, and I like that he didn't pout and took responsibility (even though, I have to say, I didn't think he was awful - IDK that most QBs could have done better in that rain with those passcatchers, they were terrible). It'll be impressive if he can rise above and kind of put away the rep that Jaime was talking about a few pages back - the pouty whiner. The season is going to be a travesty for the Jets one way or another, but especially with Sanchez out for a while, he has a shot to establish himself as the post-Rex QB for a while.

[Ramsay B.]

Is this the NFL thread? How sour is Brady? They're so lucky to be in the AFC East.

[Jabronius Maximus]

Looking at the first couple games, the Jets' run defense might actually be quite good in the long run. I know Tampa sucked in general, but holding Doug Martin to 65 yards on 24 freaking carries is no small feat. And tonight, they stuffed the Pats' previously solid ground game and held them to 54 yds (albeit there wasn't really a receiver worth covering). Despite all the doom and gloom, they might actually have a lot of good stuff to build on heading into next year.

[BLU-RAY]

They're lucky that they got the Bills and Jets in the first two weeks, rather than the Dolphins - with the defensive front that Miami has, they would've given this anemic offense fits. But yeah, even looking over their schedule, knowing that they'll get Amendola and Gronk back and Brady will develop some chemistry with those WRs... I can't see them losing more than six games, really. And 10-6 will win the division.

ETA: HS - yeah, the Jets front seven is pretty strong; it will be interesting to see if the secondary gels around Milliner over the season and next year. If they do (and if whoever they bring in next year has a good defensive coordinator), that unit could stay very good.

Even for this season, I think they're a rough matchup for fantasy running backs.

[Jace, Extat]

It'll be impressive if he can rise above and kind of put away the rep that Jaime was talking about a few pages back - the pouty whiner.

Are you talking about Smith or Brady? Seriously, guy's got issues. Michael Irvin mentioned it during the postgame show, and said he wouldn't stand for how ridiculous Brady was acting towards his receivers. I've always thought Brady puts on a little show for the camera sometimes (a lot of guys do it IMO), but Brady was just looking stupid. That's me not hating on Brady, either. I had a lengthy discussion with a former colleague about how Peyton reacted at times in the 2011 loss to Dallas, too.

Is this the NFL thread? How sour is Brady? They're so lucky to be in the AFC East.

See above comment. If there's every been one NE Patriot I've always liked (I respect several), it's Vince Wilfork. Perennial all-pro, and a pick-six artist. I also can't help but love big guys who seem to be genuinely nice people.

[Ramsay B.]

See above comment. If there's every been one NE Patriot I've always liked (I respect several), it's Vince Wilfork. Perennial all-pro, and a pick-six artist. I also can't help but love big guys who seem to be genuinely nice people.

Good call. Wilfork is one of the only guys I don't mind, either. Dude's been a beast for years. Besides him, I pretty much hate all Patriots.

[BLU-RAY]

Are you talking about Smith or Brady? Seriously, guy's got issues. Michael Irvin mentioned it during the postgame show, and said he wouldn't stand for how ridiculous Brady was acting towards his receivers. I've always thought Brady puts on a little show for the camera sometimes (a lot of guys do it IMO), but Brady was just looking stupid. That's me not hating on Brady, either. I had a lengthy discussion with a former colleague about how Peyton reacted at times in the 2011 loss to Dallas, too.

See above comment. If there's every been one NE Patriot I've always liked (I respect several), it's Vince Wilfork. Perennial all-pro, and a pick-six artist. I also can't help but love big guys who seem to be genuinely nice people.

I was talking about Smith, but I actually agree about Brady. Getting on your players is fine, and it's not like Brady's the only one (goddamnit, Donald!) but he was a bit too demonstrative, and I concur - I thought Irvin's comments were on point.

I also don't recall him doing that with dudes like Lloyd or Ochocinco back when they were fucking up - maybe it's just because these guys were rookies? Or because I didn't watch enough Pats games those years...

[wolverine]

Are you talking about Smith or Brady? Seriously, guy's got issues. Michael Irvin mentioned it during the postgame show, and said he wouldn't stand for how ridiculous Brady was acting towards his receivers. I've always thought Brady puts on a little show for the camera sometimes (a lot of guys do it IMO), but Brady was just looking stupid. That's me not hating on Brady, either. I had a lengthy discussion with a former colleague about how Peyton reacted at times in the 2011 loss to Dallas, too.

I thought in the post game interview he appeared to attempt to make it look like he wasn't blaming the WR's while doing exactly that.

Either way, did Brady not buy them enough hookers or blow for Irvin's taste? I am sick of flamboyant receivers getting analyst jobs (mainly Keyshawn who is an enormous idiot).

[Rhom]

Bwhahahahahah

Are you f'ing kidding me?!!? For the first time in my life I've been moderated on an online message board and it was because I made a joke about Sanchez's labrum surgery.

No offense intended to those around here that run the show, but if people honestly get moderated for things like that you won't have anyone left to post. I see much worse around here without a peep.

[DanteGabriel]

I've been saying for years I wanted the Pats to regain their identity as a defense-first team but that's not what I had in mind.

They're really lucky they get to open the season against sub-par competition. I shudder to think what will happen when they have to play teams with real QBs. Here's hoping the receivers can figure their shit out in the next week or two.

[Rhom]

I've been saying for years I wanted the Pats to regain their identity as a defense-first team but that's not what I had in mind.

They're really lucky they get to open the season against sub-par competition. I shudder to think what will happen when they have to play teams with real QBs. Here's hoping the receivers can figure their shit out in the next week or two.

It really was jarring. I guess I always kind of figured that if a WR was good enough to make the league, then they could catch passes from a Pro-Bowl QB if they were open. Now granted, part of the game was played in a monsoon; but it was really something to witness.

[Rockroi]

I was at the game Thursday evening/Friday morning. Holy Hell. I found out later that the first half took 2 hours to play. That has to be a mistake because it felt like 16 years.

And that was before it started to rain.

Before all that, when Brady completed his first pass to Julian Edelman (Kent State – and I will be returning to that in a moment), my buddy said, “And due to our receiving core, that will be the first of twenty-nine targets tonight for Julian Edleman.” And then, he paused… he looked at me and I looked at him.

And we started to count. From that moment on, we counted every Brady-Edleman target. Keep that as a backdrop as you read my review of this soul-crushing game.

Believe me when I say that it was a miserable game to watch. The Pats started out with that amazing first TD drive and then followed it up with 3.75 quarters of poo. Thank God they were playing the Jets who I feel bad for because this was their type of game and they would have won but for the fact that the Pats D stepped up and played amazing.

Against a terrible offense, lead by a rookie QB and a head coach who is a dead-man-walking. That’s the silver lining.

Dobson and Thompkins were unwatchably bad. Dobson dropped balls that hit him in the hands, cannot make an adjustment to save his life, and is not a good route runner. Thompkins is not a pro-level WR. He cannot get his head around to even see Brady most plays, he cannot run a route at all, and does not know how to get his two feet in ever (his best catch of the night probably only stood because the Pats ran the next play so fast before the Jets could challenge- his feet were likely NOT in).

This then left Brady to throw all game to Julian Edleman, a 7^th round draft pick. Last season, Julian was 6^th on the team in catches behind Welker (replaced with a guy who will not play 10 games for the Pats), Gronk (still injured), Brandon Lloyd (unemployable, apparently), Aaron Hernandez (murderer) and Danny Woodhead (returned to his homeland of Lilliput). Edleman finished last season with 21 catches , just 5 more than Deion Branch a guy who played in ten games.

Edleman had 13 catches last night alone (62% of last season’s total. In one game). And we were counting. He also returns punts and that is almost as crazy/sad as the fact that 1984 High School Running Back of the Year LeGarrette Blount (who you should time his runs with a calendar) returns the Pats’ kick offs.

The game would have been all but unwatchable had the Pats D not forced 4 turnovers and made the 2013 Jets look like the 2013 Jets, something they have screwed up on in the past, namely, making bad teams look, in fact, bad.

Now, don’t get me wrong, the Pats will not play an offense WORSE than the 2013 Jets this season, but “We Can Build on This.” Maybe.

Everything else was farce. Brady has literally no quality targets on offense. His best source was Edleman who was ferocious, but ultimately limited (he averaged a whopping 6 yards a reception). Dobsopn and Thompkins looked like first year rookies who are utterly overwhelmed by, well, everything. There was no running game to speak of (despite having DOUBLE the games to play, Stevan Ridley is STILL trailing Shane Vareen as the team rushing leader; Vareen is currently on IR). The Pats also have no Tight ends. Without Tight Ends not only is running harder, but they cannot drive down the seams which is where Brady (and Manning) make their living. Not only can the tight ends NOT catch passes there, but they cannot clear out traffic for the Wide Receivers to make ctaches. It ends up being Brady throwing balls to, in some cases, nobody.

BY the end of the game, in the rain and misery, the Pats netted this slop-bucket of stats:

• Pats 232 total yards; Jets had 318.
  
• 9 whole first downs. The Pats punted 11 times.
  
• Brady averaged 4.7 yards an attempt. For context, Mark Sanchez’s lifetime average is 6.5 yards per attempt.
  

When all was said and done, Julian Edleman, the #6 target last season had 13 receptions on 18 targets and one carry. He also returned 6 punts. For a joke-guess of 29… not too far off.

Julian Edleman was a 7^th round draft pick out of Kent State … where he played … quarterback.

I need somebody to tell me when was the last time a pro QB was expected to throw to a receiving corps so diluted of talent that his BEST option… was a guy who never played WR in college and was a 7^th round pick out of the “powerhouse” program like Kent State… When did Aaron Rodgers need to do that?

The highlight of the game, actually, was when the Jets went uber-pussy after the last INT and started a huge brawl. The refs tossed two Jets. When the ejected Jets would not leave the field, the refs (as seen on the Jumbo-tron) told Belichick that they would not do anything because there were only 38 seconds left. So Belichick – who was irate – called a timeout. To give the young lads time to get their sorry asses into the locker room. Amazing.

Just a few of your comments and then I’m going to hang myself (not really)-

Love the announcers trying to blame the receivers for all of bradys off target throws. Guys just off tonight. It happens

Go with me here it was NOT Brady. I think a classic example of this- besides the drops and the bad routes and the miscommunications etc was the 3^rd down with the Pats driving at the Jets goal line and Brady, seemingly, threw the ball into the ground. And he starts pulling a nutty and screaming at Dobson. And the problem was that on that route, Dobson is supposed to cut in and then as the DB catches up, stop and then just sit on the turf as the ball is thrown. Something Welker, Edleman, Gronk, Hernandez etc have a;; done countless times because it’s a set play. Dobson couldn't grasp that. That’s why Brady was pissed, even though it LOOKS like Brady just threw the ball into the ground.

I mean… which is more likely- that the 13 year pro, 2 Time SB and Reg season MVP was THAt off… or that the rookie WRs are just not making it work?

Outside of route running, catching the football or even so much as determining which player on the Patriots is, infact, throwing them the football...I think it has been a quietly strong performance by the Patriots receiving corps.

That is a far more accurate description of the game. Except for Edleman who, in all fairness, was a warrior out there.

Seriously, guy's got issues. Michael Irvin mentioned it during the postgame show, and said he wouldn't stand for how ridiculous Brady was acting towards his receivers. I've always thought Brady puts on a little show for the camera sometimes (a lot of guys do it IMO), but Brady was just looking stupid. That's me not hating on Brady, either. I had a lengthy discussion with a former colleague about how Peyton reacted at times in the 2011 loss to Dallas, too.

For starters, I can’t completely disagree with you because I don’t like people who yell at other people on a professional level. I think its uncalled for. That’s why I fucking hate Gordon Ramsey and I don’t care how good is soufflé tastes. At the same time… Brady has been VERY patient with these guys through camp and the preseason (multiple sources report this). And they were unbelievably terrible last night- there was one play where the ball went right through Thompkins’ hands. Another that Dobson just dropped. These are balls thrown right on target and these guys cannot catch. Now add that to the terrible routes and the fact that Thompkins is incapable of turning his head and looking at Brady on any play. Then add that to their inability to make any adjustments… and these are the best they have… While I agree Brady has to tone it down, he also has to let these guys know that this won’t fly at this level. Sure, you can do enough to beat the Bills and the Jets and MAYBE the Bucs. But you are going to be exposed and embarrassed by the Falcons in 20 days if these guys cannot learn. Sometimes you got to yells at those guys.

Michael Irving has a point- if Michael Irving was on the field and Tom Brady yelled at a Hall-of-Fame Caliber WR who was having one bad game, Irving should be indignant. And this IS Michael Irving we are talking about a total class act who never stabbed another man with a scissors because he took his seat at the team barber shop or harassed and embarrassed other players to the point of emotional torture. Stay Classy coke-head.

In other words, these guys are no Michael Irving and Michael Irving is no Michael Irving when it comes to broadcasting.

In the end… the Pats … won… kinda… So okay that’s something. But did it have to look … like that?

As the first half ended, Teddy Bruschi was inducted into the Patriots Hall of Fame. It was as the ceremony ended and Bruschi was walking to the sidelines that it just started to pour- a torrent of rain. And as it came down, Bruschi looked up and spread his arms out, sucking up the moment in the maelstrom.

And I thought- not for the first time –if we were not watching the setting sun of a dynasty in a field of rain.

[Independent George]

To be fair, the Pats entered the season expecting to have Gronk and Hernandez as their primary receivers, with Amendola underneath; I don't know that any of these guys were expected to play the roles they've been tasked with.

On the other hand, is it really surprising that Gronk and Amendola are injured?

[Rhom]

*Stuff*

So what you're saying is that this is a team with nobody to catch the ball...

As good as Brady is, if there's nobody around to catch his perfectly thrown balls; he is limited. Sounds like what you need is a playmaker at QB... maybe someone who can "just win."

If only there were such a QB available...

:leaving:

[Mya Stone]

I just wanted to say I completely missed the misogynistic trash talking.

I would have had something to say about it.

Thank you for stating what I would have, LL, without any swears. :P

ETA: I understand it was about Sanchez. It PAINS ME to state it doesn't make it any better. And I say this as someone who has a labia. :P

Moving on.

I worry about this Pats team. The Tom Brady who made Troy Brown look like a top 10 receiver is not the same Brady who played last night. :(

[DanteGabriel]

It really was jarring. I guess I always kind of figured that if a WR was good enough to make the league, then they could catch passes from a Pro-Bowl QB if they were open. Now granted, part of the game was played in a monsoon; but it was really something to witness.

Funny thing is that Dobson was supposed to have a reputation for good hands. I think it's just that he's thinking too much about what he's supposed to do, and that affects his concentration. Hopefully his catching skills will improve as he starts to get more used to things. He didn't play last week, so this really was his first game. Thompkins improved from Week 1 to Week 2, hopefully Dobson improves in Week3.

Also, Jets fans -- I bet Tim Tebow could have won that game for you.