GOODKIND X: Lemmings of Discord

[Jaxom 1974]

If TG (BBNC) didn't take the time to pound everything into our heads his books would be the size of bus schedules.

I grant you that.

But the query remains. If he wants to beat us over the head with his philosophy, why does it have to be with torture, rape, murder, rape? Why rape twice? Apparently he really likes rape. A lot.

[Enguerrand]

I notice that the hocker was wearing panties. Wonder if they had elastic waistbands. (For people that can't be bothered with history panties originated in the 1920thies). I thought it remarkable how far the undergarment technology has progressed in the D'haran empire compared too other areas like warfare.

I wonder if Richard is a boxer or briefs kind of guy?

[Alytha]

If Richard Rahl, Jaime Lannister (with 2 hands), Corwin of Amber and Rand al'Thor were fighting, you would win?

[Moosicus]

If Richard Rahl, Jaime Lannister (with 2 hands), Corwin of Amber and Rand al'Thor were fighting, you would win?

Jaime's lack of magic gets him killed immediately. I don't know who Corwin is, but between Richard and Rand, I gotta give it to Rand. Great swordsman, greater knowledge of how to use his power. Rick is still a little bit inept with his gift.

[Alytha]

I think the two with brains in their heads, Corwin and Jaime, would team up against the two angst-ridden wannabe dictators and reduce them to bloody pulp. Corwin is a prince of Amber and very good swordsman and he has a bit of magic too. And he's cool. And Jaime's an excellent fighter.

[Jaxom 1974]

Jaime's lack of magic gets him killed immediately. I don't know who Corwin is, but between Richard and Rand, I gotta give it to Rand. Great swordsman, greater knowledge of how to use his power. Rick is still a little bit inept with his gift.

Fuck no! Richard would just talk the other three to death then chop off their manhoods and feed them to the noble goat...or am I mixing my stories...

[Alytha]

Is the noble goat and Shagga's goat the same one?

[BranTheBuilder]

Fuck no! Richard would just talk the other three to death then chop off their manhoods and feed them to the noble goat...or am I mixing my stories...

Yeah, maybe - but Yoda would turn up and say, "Come, a go you will have if hard enough you think you are." and kick his psychotic arse.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

God, just think that if Rand balefired Master Rahl with enough power, all of his deeds would be erased, and the SoT series would not exist. And if this were possible, and it happened, I think TG's Yeard would disappear, and most (if not all) his Objectivist stupidity would vanish, because Richard and Yeardi share a magical bond, and share their souls (if they have any).

If you just stripped everyone of magic, I think Richard (without the RAGE and experience of the previous seekers) be on the receiving side of an anal sword-insertion manuever from any one of these. Then Rand and Jaime would cut off each others' hands. I don't know who this Corwin guy is, but they would probably both gangbeat the crap out of him with their bloody stumps, and then both die of bloodloss.

[Jerol]

I'm with Corwin and Jaime just slicing the other two to ribbons. Better swordsmanship will win out. If you want to factor in magic, I would like Rand and Richard to go up against Anomander Rake. It would be worth it to just have Richard piss himself when Anomander pulls that blade off his back.

[Watcher]

In defense of the latest QotD.

You people are missing what Terry is trying to create here. You are too wrapped up in the non-human details. Terry has created two living breathing people. It takes time to create the image of these people in the readers mind. To show how horrible Rose’s death is, how her life was violated first he has to make her real. He reinforced the color of her eyes so us readers can hold on to something of hers. Her profession is generally held in disdain. Terry has shown us how even a hooker can be noble and celebrated the nobility of the human spirit through her.

It is all the more shocking that her life was snuffed out by such a callous beast. But Terry is even more subtle then that. He missed with his first strike! While he is an animal he is still capable of making mistakes. Something Richard will pick up on, for sure. But even with his mistake, his cold-bloodiness and careful planning was evident. Tricking Rose out of her panties to use later to muffle her screams, talking to her calmly while carefully planning her death. Truly creating two mutli-dimensional character in a short chapter.

If you weren’t all lemmings of discord, you would realize his masterful and careful pace setting of the plot.

[Seventh Pup]

Watcher where are you?

Does mystar have you? DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM!!!!

Okay I need volunteers for a rescue Watcher mission. I think he is being held somewhere near where Ayn Rand was buried. He is being brainwashed, and if we don't get to him soon it may be to late.

Watcher we're coming for you baby, stay strong!

[Moosicus]

Watcher where are you?

Does mystar have you? DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM!!!!

Okay I need volunteers for a rescue Watcher mission. I think he is being held somewhere near where Ayn Rand was buried. He is being brainwashed, and if we don't get to him soon it may be to late.

Watcher we're coming for you baby, stay strong!

Looks like we'll need a professional deprogrammer. I recommend strapping Watcher down, Clockwork Orange style, and forcing him to read all 103 pages of the QotD while all the parodies are read to him. This will either fix him or kill him. Either way, its for the best.

[Elrostar]

Watcher, that was beautiful I think you're right. It really is a case of being able to look past the sheer awfulness of the writing so as to be able to look at the deeper meaning lurking beneath (much like Richard's thing, I suppose).

Perhaps that is yet another way in which the books themselves are a metaphor for... themselves? The fact that Richard's thing is always lurking beneath the surface, trying to get out. It's like how the subtleness of the books is always trying to escape and hit the reader over the head. TG/Richard has to keep his thing in check lest the preachiness become too evident and obvious. Clearly, much like how Richard is not always successful in keeping this thing hidden, TG is not always able to keep himself from being a bit... blunt, and perhaps lacking in subtlety.

But it's that conflict. The inner conflict which we see personified in Richard, which is ultimately a representation of the inner turmoil in TG.

Don't you people see how deep this work of art really is? And you call it fantasy. If you only knew.

[Werthead]

Watcher where are you?

Does mystar have you? DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM!!!!

Okay I need volunteers for a rescue Watcher mission. I think he is being held somewhere near where Ayn Rand was buried. He is being brainwashed, and if we don't get to him soon it may be to late.

Watcher we're coming for you baby, stay strong!

[rat-arsed]

F'sure. My intelligence is that Watcher is being held in Indiana (an American state, allegedly), where Mystar has total knowledge of everything that transpires. Apparently, he will be gang-raped by Ann Coulter until he submits to the Will of the Yeard.

MinDonner, you can have point. Moose, you cover us with the antiyeard cannons. Seventh, you are on recon. Okay, people. GO! GO GO!

[/rat-arsed]

[Seventh Pup]

Sweet I'm on recon! But I think with Moose's intimate knowledge of the enemy and high immunity to it's truthiness he should be our front man.

Okay the last couple QotD have been truly disturbing. Seriously out one distinguishing point between good guys and bad guys is gone. So rape is okay if Mother Confessor says it's okay; but the worst possible thing if IO says it's okay. Moose thank you, and enjoy your vacation your brain needs it.

[Mme Erzulie]

His prose in this last QotD isn't down to his normal sub-standards, it's obvious he really put some effort into this. This reads like your average fan fiction sex fantasy. I liked the dialogue, too.

"I want you to enjoy this too"

"Don't worry, I will"

"I know you will"

"Yeah, so"

"I really want you to enjoy this"

"Oh, I'm gonna"

"I know"

"Yeah, baby, I want you so bad"

"Uhm, maybe you don't understand: I want you to enjoy it too"

"Oh yeah, darling"

"I know"

On a more serious note, Terry fails miserably to convey a sense of foreboding to the reader. Instead, we're told that he will be "rock steady" (is this a medieval expression?) once he starts.

And until I saw your replies, I thought Drefan was supposed to be a good guy, killing a hooker (presumed amoral - my bad) and all.

Now, I know I've missed big parts of these threads, but has the "ban fire" speech been QOTD yet? Cause that thing is memorable. Cute how Terry obviously wants it to be a parallell to the "ban handguns" argument. Real subtle there, Goodkind.

[KAH]

Her perfectly plucked brows bunched together, lifting in the middle, furrowing the skin on her forehead into neat rows. He counted them, because he was special.

Yeah, very special boy, that. I have a bit of a problem believing even lunatic murderers are able to cram out thoughts that retarded. Is there any villain in SoT that is not completely cardboard cut-out?

[Sad King Billy]

Now, I know I've missed big parts of these threads, but has the "ban fire" speech been QOTD yet? Cause that thing is memorable. Cute how Terry obviously wants it to be a parallell to the "ban handguns" argument. Real subtle there, Goodkind.

here

[MinDonner]

Here's a funny thing - the characters of Richard and Kahlan could actually be pretty good if handled by a proper writer. You know, two utterly self-involved psychopaths, murdering their way through the Midlands, annexing countries for their evil empire and destroying all who disagree with them, and yet still believing that they are the good guys... like a cross between Natural Born Killers and the bit in Falling Down where you realise that Michael Douglas is not the good guy after all but just a psycho. If only it had been written by someone who didn't just have moral celery between his ears instead of a brain. Sigh.