Theda Baratheon Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 We all care about you here my friend :grouphug: and what Robin said, feeling pain and loss does not make you weak or any less strong. We are all thinking about you x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Skype with Brook helped me get through the afternoon, then making friends with some girls here from my suburb in Sydney completed the night. They heard I really needed some support so came and sat in my room chatting for a couple of hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weeping Sore Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Hopefully if this comes across as nonsense you'll just take the positive intention from me... My spouse was raised by her grandmother and they were extremely close. When her grandmother passed she was devastated but had a series of very vivid dreams of her, wherein her grandmother seemed to be saying goodbye. (No one had said goodbye to her IRL- she died in the night suddenly) These dreams then ended abruptly. What I would say is be open to any lingering energy of your mother, in dreams or awake. Whether it is just a manifestation of your memory or wish fulfillment doesn't matter; I think a strong intention to reach out to her one last time to say goodbye can feel emotionally truthful regardless of what you normally think of any non-material reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 My dreams were of her dying in December before Christmas and before I left >_> they were a large part of why I was so convinced I was saying goodbye for good when I left, even though I had no indication of that and she had actually been showing an uptick in that last week. Everything that I would have wanted to tell her I got to, I told her I couldn't have had a better mother, that I loved her (many times), that I was thankful for all she had done, and that I was happy now. I think we were already at peace on that front, I don't need to say anymore, I just still want her here :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Oh god this is so fucking hard doing it alone. I'd imagined doing it on the other side of the world when I moved to the US, but at least I always had my partner with me in those scenarios. I miss my Mum and I'm so fucking alone, and I hurt and I can barely move. I know everyone on here somehow thinks I'm strong, but if I ever am I'm not right now/ I'm a broken wreck curled up on the ground Oh honey, I'm so sorry you're alone right now. You've got our love, we're all pulling for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Summah Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 What Robin and Theda said. I know it's hard to be alone. It's good you were able to get some support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Well ate at one of the street places last night, it's super popular so I thought it would be OK, yet here I find myself awake at 3:30am with some pretty major nausea, and the type that might actually make me throw up not just miserable. This may have been a mistake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weeping Sore Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Well ate at one of the street places last night, it's super popular so I thought it would be OK, yet here I find myself awake at 3:30am with some pretty major nausea, and the type that might actually make me throw up not just miserable. This may have been a mistake But the street food there looks so good when I see it on Anthony Bordain! They must edit out scenes of him vomiting or curled up in a ball. Either that or his gut flora must be industrial strength. It could be that if you've been on antibiotics after surgery, your natural alimentary protection has been temporarily wiped out. Not that that helps your feeling nauseous in the short term... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Yeah, I'd say the antibiotics leaving me vulnerable is most likely option. Unless it lasts I'm going to be OK (it normally takes a lot for me to vomit), I got down some chips which then let me get down some anti-nausea drugs, so hopefully another 20 or so and they kick in and I can go back to sleep. Got a big day today :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Sorry to hear about your cuisine consequences. Hope you feel better, soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 So I'm going to necro my own thread to say holy hell I didn't know pain could get this bad or persistent and have everything be OK and healing well. After a massive dose of oxycodone slow release alone wasn't doing it, I'm now still on the large dose of that, plus some hydromorphone, plus something else called endep which apparently is complimentary to opiates by working on different receptors. My trip home after getting these was hell so I'm hoping they kick in fast and are enough. I'm also getting a referral to the pain management specialist at the local hospital, as I've heard back from one of the other girls who had excessive pain like me and she said it lasted 5 months rather than the regular 2-3, my GP can only prescripe this stuff for 2 months so best to get things lined up. This whole experience is basically vindication of my concern before surgery that my hyper sensitive nervous system would make this a lot harder. Thailand got me into a false sense of security because the nerves were all disconnected yet so their special snowflakeness couldnt kick in to make my life hell. I've also obtained another month off work, but I'm seriously contemplating the possibility that I won't be able to go back to work for 5 months and that's kinda way longer than I wanted and a bit scary. I literally can't even go out for lunch without having the entire afternoon drestroyed by pain at the moment though so work is literally impossible. As for Welcome to the world of feminine products. ; ) Get some Vagicaine, great for itching and numbs it up some too.I'm glad I won't ever need to make the decision, but if I did I'm already convinced for tampons, pads so so fucking uncomfortable now I've tried wearing them. Even just the small liners. And there is so much gunk coming out of this thing while it heals that they are a requirement for now. ETA: Also got familiar with Thrush (although just on my thighs, not inside thank goodness) so been introduced to Canesten! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Oh Lord Kara! I hope you get to feeling better soon! So hope the pain management people can help you. As for Thrush :(. It's an unfortunate fact of life down here in the summer for a lot of people. It's TERRIBLE and just insult to injury at this point. Get better fast! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fragile Bird Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I am having sympathetic pain after reading your post, karaddin. Damn, I'm sorry to hear it's that bad. :( I do hope it passes quicker than you think. Good thoughts are being sent your way, m'dear! :grouphug: :love: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreamSongs Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Kara, I'm glad that you have pain management in the works. Consistent contact with your docs is vital! I'm sorry that I haven't kept up with things...but my dad was seriously ill. I was sorry to hear about your Mum. AND NO FEMININE PRODUCTS! Use a liner or a pad if you need to, but non-prescribed powders and creams are probably a recipe for disaster. You don't need a nurse to tell you that :p :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears of Lys Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Wow. I was wondering how you were doing. Good thing you're getting hooked up with pain management. Like Fragile Bird, I'm having sympathy pains for you too! Keep us posted, okay? It'll (hopefully) take your mind off your troubles for a while. Cussing up a storm will be expected. :grouphug: :love: :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emberling Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 oh no :( :grouphug: the awfulness of surgical recovery seems like a kick in the teeth from the universe to me, like it's saying - you want to get out of your pain? no ma'am, you can have it chip away at your psyche day after day or you can take all that lifetime of pain and condense it together and choke it down in months. but this way ... there is an end, at least. it will stop. it will be better, better than it ever has been. gah, I sat down to write something supportive and encouraging and ended up with something bleak. keeps happening to me. guess I'm not in as good a mood as I think I am. anyhow I think of you a lot and wish you all the hugs and pamperings and all other good things :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I'm kinda viewing it as "you want a vagina? well you are supposed to pay in regular monthly payments, but i guess we can let you do it in one lump sum" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weeping Sore Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Hang in there honey. Rome wasn't built in a day. Try to keep your doses as low as you can bear. Thinking about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Karaddin, Having been shot, had SRS and torn the rotator cuff tendons in both shoulders, I thought I knew something about pain, but when I was shot, I lost blood and was going into shock, so I didn't feel all that much until after surgery, when morphine took the pain away. My SRS used a different procedure and healing was quite normal, with pain lessening each day that past. The closest I've experienced to long term pain was having my shoulders feel like they were on fire for almost a year. That can wear you down. Just keep reminding yourself that the pain will subside and be replaced by something wonderful. I am surprised at your reference to, "so much gunk", this long after surgery. Again, I realize that our procedures were different, but I trust you've checked and determined it is normal for this point in the healing process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Editing because I was confused: Yellow discharge is common after this surgery, although not at the levels experienced after the bus trip yesterday. It's a mix of dead skin and a bunch of other healing byproducts, and is not a sign of any issues at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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