protar Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Really sorry to hear that Karaddin :frown5: . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weeping Sore Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 That's terrible, karradin. I'm so sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warg Arry Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: Thinking of you and your family. So sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreamSongs Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I'm glad to hear that the catheter is out. I'm sorry to hear about your mum. My condolences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears of Lys Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Goddamn it. That sucks, Kar. :grouphug: Things like that just make you want to shake your fist at the universe and scream, WHAT THE FUCK??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdawnb Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Kara, I'm so sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Summah Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I'm sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seli Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deedles Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I'm so sorry to hear that Karaddin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivin Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Karaddin, that's fucking horrible. I send you my most sympathetic thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 This thread is glorious and sad at the same time. I'm glad the physical recovery is going well and I hope the emotional recovery of losing your mom goes just as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Yeah that one is just going to dull, never recover, but I thank you for the wishes anyway. I was about as big a mummys boy as you get and the only thing that changed was it became mummys girl. I was ultra defensive of her, and hated being separated from her when I was young. They tried to get me to go to preschool but i only went twice because I couldn't handle being away from her. She's the only person I've ever felt comfortable on the phone with, and sitting down and just rambling for hours was one of my favourite things in the world. The loss of that will always be an ache, it will just dull with time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears of Lys Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 She sounds like a wonderful one-in-a-million person, Kara. I'm sure you'll carry her with you in your journey and she'll be cheering you on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mashiara Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 I'm so sorry for your loss, Karaddin. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Your relationship with your mom sounds like it was truly something special. I'm really glad you had that.Both my parents really really love kids, as much as anyone I've ever known. Mum thought she was done before me, but then I came along as a surprise 7 years later at 40. I was her baby and she had more time to dote on me than the others, but the relationship was that strong for all of us. When the tumour was first diagnosed and we were all together the night before the operation I could tell that we were all just as scared and loved her just as much, even the eldest who had been having a somewhat strained relationship with her. The workaholic lawyer took two weeks off just to see more of her.My Dad loves us all just as much, but he's a man of his time (born during WW2 and has a much harder time showing and talking about how he feels. Add to it that he was trying to raise me a boy as he didn't know any better and that same relationship wasn't there, everything he tried to get closer (and I found out later there was a lot) just pushed me away. It took my divorce to crack through his shield and openly show how much he loved me, and gave me the trust to move forward once I figured it out. I would never for a second have doubted mums support, and I was right... Her only concern was for how others would treat me if I didn't pass. The night they met me I had a wig on, and she was just stunned by how beautiful I was to her and her fears evaporated. She asked me to take the wig off, let her do my hair and take a photo.When I was sitting at her hospital bed reading to her after her surgery last year she broke my heart by telling me that I inspire her. My asserting myself in the face of a hostile world, opening up and letting go of the pain she had seen eating me for 15 years. How could she be inspired by me, all the good aspects of who I aspire to be come from her (that's not to say nothing good comes from dad, but it's passive underlying stuff).Sorry if I'm turning this into a mourning thread, but I need it and I need to say it publicly since I'll be missing her funeral. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdawnb Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 What beautiful words you had to say about your mother. She sounds like she was a lovely person. How lucky you were to have each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 When I was sitting at her hospital bed reading to her after her surgery last year she broke my heart by telling me that I inspire her. My asserting myself in the face of a hostile world, opening up and letting go of the pain she had seen eating me for 15 years. How could she be inspired by me, all the good aspects of who I aspire to be come from her Awesome. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Awesome. :grouphug:I broke down when she said that to me, the idea of the woman I look up to so much being inspired by me did not compute.In many ways I feel like the black sheep of the family, only one without a degree, only one to be divorced, these days only openly queer one, only one that's never wanted kids, now the big one... Only trans. But that's how she felt anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 I am angry with myself for feeling envious. I'd like to think my mother would have felt the same about me, but I lost her in 1971, years before I was able to acknowledge who I really was. You are very fortunate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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