Jump to content

karaddin's get well soon Thread


Gillio

Recommended Posts

Yeah that one is just going to dull, never recover, but I thank you for the wishes anyway. I was about as big a mummys boy as you get and the only thing that changed was it became mummys girl. I was ultra defensive of her, and hated being separated from her when I was young. They tried to get me to go to preschool but i only went twice because I couldn't handle being away from her. She's the only person I've ever felt comfortable on the phone with, and sitting down and just rambling for hours was one of my favourite things in the world. The loss of that will always be an ache, it will just dull with time.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Your relationship with your mom sounds like it was truly something special. I'm really glad you had that.

Both my parents really really love kids, as much as anyone I've ever known. Mum thought she was done before me, but then I came along as a surprise 7 years later at 40. I was her baby and she had more time to dote on me than the others, but the relationship was that strong for all of us. When the tumour was first diagnosed and we were all together the night before the operation I could tell that we were all just as scared and loved her just as much, even the eldest who had been having a somewhat strained relationship with her. The workaholic lawyer took two weeks off just to see more of her.

My Dad loves us all just as much, but he's a man of his time (born during WW2 and has a much harder time showing and talking about how he feels. Add to it that he was trying to raise me a boy as he didn't know any better and that same relationship wasn't there, everything he tried to get closer (and I found out later there was a lot) just pushed me away. It took my divorce to crack through his shield and openly show how much he loved me, and gave me the trust to move forward once I figured it out. I would never for a second have doubted mums support, and I was right... Her only concern was for how others would treat me if I didn't pass. The night they met me I had a wig on, and she was just stunned by how beautiful I was to her and her fears evaporated. She asked me to take the wig off, let her do my hair and take a photo.

When I was sitting at her hospital bed reading to her after her surgery last year she broke my heart by telling me that I inspire her. My asserting myself in the face of a hostile world, opening up and letting go of the pain she had seen eating me for 15 years. How could she be inspired by me, all the good aspects of who I aspire to be come from her (that's not to say nothing good comes from dad, but it's passive underlying stuff).

Sorry if I'm turning this into a mourning thread, but I need it and I need to say it publicly since I'll be missing her funeral.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I was sitting at her hospital bed reading to her after her surgery last year she broke my heart by telling me that I inspire her. My asserting myself in the face of a hostile world, opening up and letting go of the pain she had seen eating me for 15 years. How could she be inspired by me, all the good aspects of who I aspire to be come from her

Awesome. :grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Awesome. :grouphug:

I broke down when she said that to me, the idea of the woman I look up to so much being inspired by me did not compute.

In many ways I feel like the black sheep of the family, only one without a degree, only one to be divorced, these days only openly queer one, only one that's never wanted kids, now the big one... Only trans. But that's how she felt anyway.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...