Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Crap, the realization just washed over me like a fucking tidal wave. No football for the better part of two weeks. Then, no football for like seven months. Then I get to watch Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force run my beloved Niners into the turf of Pants Stadium. :crying: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime L Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Crap, the realization just washed over me like a fucking tidal wave. No football for the better part of two weeks. Then, no football for like seven months. Then I get to watch Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force run my beloved Niners into the turf of Pants Stadium. :crying: "I would not say that. I wouldn't say that either." --Carl from ATHF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 "I would not say that. I wouldn't say that either." --Carl from ATHF I found an epic quote of his on the ATHF Wiki, but unfortunately couldn't find a you tube of it... Carl: Hey, this is Carl, and yeah, I'm plenty pissed...at God for forsaking Kurt Warner in my time of need when he was a New York football Giant. And now He's working in completely mysterious and retarded ways by letting the Cardinals play in the Super Bowl. Listen, the state of Arizona is only good for one thing: testing A-bombs so the people from the good states don't get hurt. Pittsburgh's gonna be up by 24 before O-Town can say "My country, 'tis of thee," but I'm gonna give all you party bookies some Super Dull XLIII over/unders to keep your guests from killing themselves before halftime. Number of human interest stories about Larry Fitzgerald's dad during the pregame show—17; amount of interest I have in a human interest story about Larry Fitzgerald's dad—0. Number of Knight Rider promos we get to see during a booth review—87. Number of times John Madden will somehow work Brett Favre into the conversation and gently stroke his nipple with one of his fat outstretched fingers—9. Number of strippers Adam "Pacman" Jones slaps playfully during his pregame analysis—2; number of strippers Adam "Pacman" Jones slaps not so playfully during his pregame analysis—1; number of times Adam "Pacman" Jones slaps Bob Costas for gently asking not to slap a stripper during his pregame analysis—37. Number of concussions Ben Roethlisberger will suffer during the pregame stretch, "God Bless America", and the coin toss—2. Number of Jonas Brothers riding a surfboard with a computer-generated porcupine in an effort to raise your awareness of Tostito's brand Garlic and Cinnamon Corn Chips—3. Number of children Kurt Warner adopts during the second half—2; number of children Kurt Warner sacrifices to Jesus during the second half cause he was told to in a dream—3. Number of times Anquan Boldin kisses his fist and thanks Jesus for blessing him with running a successful 12-yard slant—1. Number of minutes Jesus actually spends watching the Super Bowl—0. Number of times Bruce Springsteen sings the acoustic song from the Philadelphia movie about the Vietnam POW with AIDS—0. Number of times Matt Leinart will say, "I'm goin' to Disneyland"—0; number of times Matt Leinart will eventually go to Disneyland because, at some point, he's gonna be that dude runnin' the on/off lever at the Magic Spinnin' Teacups—3. He's gonna get cut from that job too. Those are the actual Vegas over/unders through a true insider! Now go make some money, dummy, cause I'm pissed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime L Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 I found an epic quote of his on the ATHF Wiki, but unfortunately couldn't find a you tube of it... That is freaking tremendous. And also good news because now I no longer think Jim Tomsula is Carl from ATHF. No way Jim Tomsula is that articulate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramsay Gimp Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 I found an epic quote of his on the ATHF Wiki, but unfortunately couldn't find a you tube of it... :rofl: I always thought Carl was funnier than the 3 main cast combined Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 That is freaking tremendous. And also good news because now I no longer think Jim Tomsula is Carl from ATHF. No way Jim Tomsula is that articulate. Whoever writes that stuff should have Rob Riggle's job on Fox Sports. His Stone Cold Lock of the Century stuff is gold... http://www.adultswim.com/videos/carls-lock/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 :rofl: I always thought Carl was funnier than the 3 main cast combined Agreed. He is far and away my favorite character on that show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trickster Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Yeah this is definitely feels like an after-the-fact attempt to make sense of a highly unlikely event. These teams won therefore they did X. There's just no evidence for it. The 2012 Ravens lost 4 of their 5 games. The 2011 Giants were outscored by their opponents. Both were a little too successful at not being good. It'd be nice to believe either simply wasn't trying but football isn't a game that can be played half-heartedly. That's how guys actually get hurt. What is demonstrable is the ability of Flacco and Eli to raise their play in playoff games. Other guys feel more pressure; they seem to feel less. The rest? The more likely explanation is the right tweak to raise a unit's overall play. Like Clay Matthews positional switch making GB's D much better or the Giants 4 Aces package back in the day.In 2007, the Giants played one hell of a game in the last game of the regular season. Rather than resting their starters(they were locked into their seed), they went all out to end the Pattriot's bid for an unbeaten regular season. They lost narrowly(38-35 if I am not mistaken) but it gave them a lot of momentum going into the playoffs. The backbone of that Giants team e.g. Strahan, Osi,Tuck, Eli, Burress played all 16 games. I really don't see anything that proves Altherion's theory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awesome possum Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Bears hire former 49ers DC Vic Fangio to run their defense. Also, both Alfred Morris and Mark Ingram have been given replacement Pro Bowl berths over Matt Forte, who had 600 total yards more than either and more touchdowns as well. I know the Pro Bowl is a joke but holy shit, where's the punchline? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mexal Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Reason #498 why the Pro Bowl is a shitty idea. Andy Dalton was just added to the Pro Bowl roster as the 7th alternate. Nothing like making the big show because you're slightly better than Ryan Lindley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime L Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 I know the Pro Bowl is a joke but holy shit, where's the punchline? Reason #498 why the Pro Bowl is a shitty idea. Andy Dalton was just added to the Pro Bowl roster as the 7th alternate. I swear this shit writes itself. ETA: And Motherfucker on Vic Fangio! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howdyphillip Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 With the Pro Bowl being in Arizona this year instead of Hawaii, we are lucky that Ryan Lindley isn't the only QB to show up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Tiger Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Peyton's 14 pro bowl appearances become more a joke every year Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalbear Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Well, John Fox didn't impress me, but getting Fangio is a pretty awesome win for the Bears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Peyton's 14 pro bowl appearances become more a joke every year Why? He's always a top-5 regular season QB. He's not getting in as the 8th QB as a 6th option. ETA: Doug Marrone just signed on as the Jaguars Offensive Line coach. Good god, what a fall from grace. Though to be honest, I'm not sure this should be a surprise. He screwed over the new owner who had just spent months kissing ass to join a very exclusive boys club. At least 2/3 of the owners liked him enough to let him have a team, and he hasn't been around long enough to make enemies. I don't see why Marrone getting effectively blackballed is surprising to some people, his team was only 9 and fucking 7 anyways. While that's a monstrous achievement in Buffalo, nobody else is impressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 The Prob Owl is a joke as it stands. It needs to be totally revamped. At this point I'd prefer seeing the 2 HC's who lost the previous season's NFC/AFC Championship play a game of Madden using the Prob Owl rosters. At least this way you'd avoid any chance of a marquee name being injured in this worthless game. ETA: Or have the 2 starting QB's play, while the HC's pick the plays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
l2 0 5 5 Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 ETA: Doug Marrone just signed on as the Jaguars Offensive Line coach. Good god, what a fall from grace. Though to be honest, I'm not sure this should be a surprise. He screwed over the new owner who had just spent months kissing ass to join a very exclusive boys club. At least 2/3 of the owners liked him enough to let him have a team, and he hasn't been around long enough to make enemies. I don't see why Marrone getting effectively blackballed is surprising to some people, his team was only 9 and fucking 7 anyways. While that's a monstrous achievement in Buffalo, nobody else is impressed. I'm so happy to hear this. He bails out of Buffalo, thinking he'd get a better opportunity, and then gets sent to Jacksonville to be an O-line coach? Lmao............. :lmao: ETA: Though he's still getting 4 million from the Bills next season. Still funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Joe Barry has been hired as the DC for the Racists. Sorry Jamie and Maithanet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalbear Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 That's really sad. Doug Marrone would have been at least a good OCoord in Chicago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Tiger Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Why? He's always a top-5 regular season QB. He's not getting in as the 8th QB as a 6th option. Not what I meant, I mean it's nice and all to be the pro football version of an all-star, but you're essentialy chosen to participate in a game that becomes more and more of a joke each year. I mean contrast his 14 pro bowls with say Merlin Olsen, back when he played the game was an actual competition, now it's a laughing stock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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