NestorMakhnosLovechild Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 It's been a week. I can't imagine NOT having had a conversation about this already. At this point, I'd say just to let it go. "We're moving too fast" is a fixable problem. It's possible to "move slower," however one envisions that. Fewer dates, not spending the night, not hanging out so frequently with each other's friends. But, if that's what she wanted, presumably that's what she would have suggested. Instead, she wants to end your relationship over it. To me, that suggests that "moving too fast" is a euphemism for "moving too fast with someone I don't want to be in a relationship with" - and the last clause is really the most important one. I'm really not opposed for having post-mortem discussions about relationships. With a notable exception or two, most of mine ended that way. But I don't think you should have that discussion if your real interest is in keeping the relationship alive somehow. That conversation is now past due, I think, and based on everything you've said, not something she wants. Let it go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liffguard Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Agreed with all the above. Forget about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quorra Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 On the "things are moving too fast" comment - it's best not to try to read too much into it or analyze it. If that's the reason for ending it, that's just something people say. I have said that before, and meant it, but with people I didn't want to break up with. I had actually meant that I wanted to slow down. It's hard to hear, and hard to interpret unless the person specifically tells you they want to break up or keep seeing each other. You said she was specific, though. :frown5: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sperry Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Yeah, "moving too fast" is another one of the ways people try to save the other parties feelings when breaking up, but usually just accomplish the opposite. Move on. She knows you're interested, and the ball is in her court to try to start things back up, and if and when that happens you can decide if that's something you'd be interested in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckwheat Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I am sorry about your situation, RhaegarTar. I recently got a very similar text message. I would answer your question about messaging her back (although after one week it might be a bit late) depending on what you want to write into that message: if you say you are sorry to hear it, but accept it and wish her luck in the future, go for it. If you are begging her to stay together, that might not be the best idea. But then I obviously have no clue what I am talking about since I am just arranging to "be friends" with the person for whom I still have feelings - and he keeps messaging me either just about how I am or about when we are going to do something together with copious amounts of smileys and exclamation marks and "I am looking forward to it". This ... is not well, is it? :leaving: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smegma Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Move on from anyone that breaks up with you over text. That's the golden rule. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quorra Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Move on from anyone that breaks up with you over text. -Confucius, circa 500 BCE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Move on from anyone that breaks up with you over text. That's the golden rule. Wisdom. :agree: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch-MaesterPhilip Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Doing anything but forgetting is always a road to nowhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The guy from the Vale Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Doing anything but forgetting is always a road to nowhere. Mostly true, although in the best cases, you can try to learn something from the way things shaked out. Doesn't mean you should do anything other than a case study, of course. Trying to get a relationship back on track is somethings both sides have to be interested in. Unless she signals a change of mind, just let her live her own life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch-MaesterPhilip Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Move on from anyone that breaks up with you over text. That's the golden rule. I had a woman dump me via text and the have the stones to call me immature for refusing to be her friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
l2 0 5 5 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Been about five months since I met the girl on Match. Been happily together since. Surprised at my good fortune. Very much recommend online dating if you're looking to branch out from familiarity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 I had a woman dump me via text and the have the stones to call me immature for refusing to be her friend.You can't make this shit up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ordos Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Before I make my very long post (I've been contemplating doing this for months), there are two things I want to say first. Much earlier everyone here told me to go see an attorney regarding my divorce. There is one problem with that. I want my divorce to be discreet. In order for me to get an attorney, I will need to confide in somebody to help me seek out one. I don't know who I can trust because people here talk. Second, my wife has told me that I must make a choice between my desire to be free and my daughter's well being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all swedes are racist Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Before I make my very long post (I've been contemplating doing this for months), there are two things I want to say first. Much earlier everyone here told me to go see an attorney regarding my divorce. There is one problem with that. I want my divorce to be discreet. In order for me to get an attorney, I will need to confide in somebody to help me seek out one. I don't know who I can trust because people here talk. Second, my wife has told me that I must make a choice between my desire to be free and my daughter's well being.Ordos,As to your first issue, I must say I'm sorry. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you, but I can offer no sound advice, as I have neither experience or knowledge regarding such things. I believe and hope there must be a way for you to find access to legal counsel in a manner that meets your needs, but can give no concrete specifics.Your second issue simply screams to me: "GET. A. LAWYER." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The guy from the Vale Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Ordos, can't you use the internet to find a good lawyer near you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Ordos, if your long post in any way relates to your divorce or your ex or your relationship or your current romantic adventures (and why would it not?), I would suggest NOT posting it. And get a lawyer. This is much more important than any sort of "discretion" and the lack of one will screw you over way worse than any amount of local gossip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ordos Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Ordos, if your long post in any way relates to your divorce or your ex or your relationship or your current romantic adventures (and why would it not?), I would suggest NOT posting it. And get a lawyer. This is much more important than any sort of "discretion" and the lack of one will screw you over way worse than any amount of local gossip. OK. I agree but just to clarify, are you saying that my lack of discretion on an Internet forum is worse than risking myself to some local gossip? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The guy from the Vale Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Your lack of a lawyer will screw you over far worse than the gossip, and that should be your main concern right now. Your lengthy post might feel cathartic for a short time but will do nothing to actually address your problem and take you a lot of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 OK. I agree but just to clarify, are you saying that my lack of discretion on an Internet forum is worse than risking myself to some local gossip? Yes. Because your wife's smart lawyer will dig up all of the shit you've posted on this forum and wave the hard proof (printouts) of this in front of a judge, which will legally fuck you far worse than any hearsay or local gossip could. Multiple people on this board have found that out to their everlasting chagrin. Seriously, find a damned lawyer and DON'T make the long post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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