You have two cows

[Buckwheat]

Salinger: The Catcher in the Rye

You have two cows. They are sooooo corny and phony.

Robin Hood

You have two cows. You give both to the poor.

[Myrddin]

*curtsey* Not sure if I should be offended (I am not!), but glad you are amusing yourself. ;)

No offense intended. It was fun re-reading the older two cow posts.

Martin: ASOIAF: There are two cows. One that is present and one that is promised. Neither one is your bitch, apparently.

[williamjm]

David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas

Saturday 15th June 1850: I set sail on the morning tide with two cows, one of them stowed away but I persuaded the

Dear Sixsmith, I got hooked on reading a journal from 1850 about two cows on a Pacific voyage but I only have the first half of the book,

Luisa is doing an investigative story but two cows are chasing after her

I have two bulls chasing me for money they think I owe them, I'm laying low in a country hotel but it seems to be some sort of home for retired cows.

I had two cows, they both worked in a burger restaurant, but they both wanted to see the wider world. They were told they were mad to leave,

I hav too coos, one of 'em came from farway, wans to clime big hill tho evryun nos Old Bull livs up there an' he don' lyke coos

if they'd just been patient after seven years they could have retired and the burger company would let them live happily.

I'm trying to convince two of them to escape with me, we should all want to be free, we're not sheep after all.

one of them wants to kill her, but the other used to know her father when they were both calves.

it is maddening not having the second half of the story. On the bright side the local farmer has two cows and I think one of them really likes me.

Captain not to make him into steak. I think the other is my friend but sometimes I catch him looking at me oddly with his bovine eyes.

[James Arryn]

Twain: You have two cows, and though I know scientists would proclaim it impossible, I reckon that so long as any 2 beings congregate in close enough proximity for the one to hear the other, you can be sure to find plenty of bullshit.

[Jslay427]

Luke Skull: You have two cows, both of whom produce a dark, grim, chocolate milk.

[Larry of the Lawn]

Westeros.org: You have two cows, and some guy named RawMulkChuck shows up your lawn saying pasteurization is the devil and raw milk is a wonder drug.

[peterbound]

Caine:

You have two cows. Unless I want your fucking cows. Then they are my cows. I'd burn the world for those fucking cows.

[Larry of the Lawn]

Really there are only two cow questions: how many cows do you want, amd what are you willing to do to get them?

[Callan S.]

Y: you have to cows, a passerby thinks he should have a right to know their names and yours if he can hear them moo.

You have two cows, one writes a book, the other reads it but treats her as just a passer by.

[Callan S.]

GRRM: A feast for cows

[Callan S.]

R. Scott Bakker: You have two cows.

You have two cows, forming the circle of milker and milked. As is the basis of all sorcery.

[Happy Ent]

The Bakker things write themselves, his work seems to lend itself easily to bovine deepitudes.

Bakker

For the first time, you realise that you have two cows.

Bakker

You have two cows. You fall to your knees, milking. Milk comes swirling down.

Bakker

You think you have two cows, but you are deceiving yourself

Bakker

You have two cows

You have two

You have

You

(Gets sprayed with milk)

[Mark Lawrence]

Robinson Crueso You have two cows. They're starting to look mighty attractive.

Winner!

[Mark Lawrence]

The Feynman Lectures on Physics

You have two cows. Assume both are spherical.

[Larry of the Lawn]

Schroedinger

You have two cows. You put them in a stall and blast them with radiation. You can't really say,.without opening the stall, whether or not the cows are alive.

[The Marquis de Leech]

Another Bakker one:

You have two cows. You lock one of them in the shed, where it milks itself in order to mess with your mind.

[Happy Ent]

Patrick Rothfuss

I have two cows. I naturally excel at animal husbandry.

[Larry of the Lawn]

Things Fall Apart - you have two cowz, but you're old school, so you trade them for some yams, palm wine and machetes.

[thistlepong]

Patrick Rothfuss

I have two cows. I naturally excel at animal husbandry.

Well frelling played.

[Corvinus85]

Harry Potter: You have two cows. Not as fancy as Voldemort's Horcruxes, but you got to start somewhere.

You have two cows. They were something else before, but you're not sure since you never really paid attention in Transfiguration class.

The Hunger Games: You have two cows. You're in the wrong district.

You have two cows. Story title no longer applies.