Cockblocking

[Balefont]

[quote name='Stego' post='1703328' date='Feb 28 2009, 11.07']I don't give a shit if people hit on Mo. Good for her.[/quote]

I know. It was just really funny that the dweeb wouldn't believe her.

[Frosty]

[quote name='mashiara' post='1701790' date='Feb 26 2009, 21.24']I'm not sharing. :blush:[/quote]

I thought it was a firewall

[Annelise]

[quote name='Balefont' post='1703321' date='Feb 28 2009, 10.58']:lol: It's your own damn fault for being beautiful, Annelise. :)[/quote]

I actually have to wonder if it may have had something to do with possibly flashing my boobs. That blouse was not a good wardrobe choice, as it turns out. It was loud in there, so I was leaning over talking to the male friend I mentioned and my shirt gaped open. I know this because he said something. "Dude, I can see your boobs" to be exact. :blush: :leaving: Although the emoticons are really representative of me the next day, at the time I just pressed it close with my hand, "Oh, sorry" and went right on with the conversation.

[Balefont]

[quote name='Annelise' post='1703356' date='Feb 28 2009, 11.56']at the time I just pressed it close with my hand, "Oh, sorry" and went right on with the conversation.[/quote]

:lol:

[Lyanna Stark]

[quote name='Stego' post='1703327' date='Feb 28 2009, 17.05']Read Stiffed by Susan Faludi.[/quote]


I'm reading Faludi right now, among other things. :P

However, I meant here on the board. Everyone should know by now I am supportive of men's and women's right to have whatever one night stand or flings or romances they want, and that it is nobody's business what they do and with whom.

The initial post litechick commented on was definitely not anywhere near that spirit tho. It was simply a guy moaning in pretty demeaning language cos he couldn't get a "fugly" cumbucket for his desperation. Which is pathetic.


As for guys walking up and using the "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?" line. Yes, it has happened to me and each time I took it into consideration, since I like honesty. I don't think it is an impolite thing to say at all, just direct.


[quote]It's just a general yet palpable feeling I've gotten through reading various threads. Guys are ignorant sex driven pigs that us girls have to put up with. Of course with the exception of those enlightened few that "get it".[/quote]


Well, to me it has felt like quite the opposite, maybe because of this thread and the large number of Bakker and Women threads. As for whether men as a group is being oppressed on the board, I don't think so, especially since a lot of the people arguing the loudest for the "feminist side" in the Bakker threads, if you will, were men.

The only poster here who actually SAID that men are sex driven pigs was a man. Personally I have a much higher opinion of men than that.

[Mme Erzulie]

[quote name='Lyanna Stark' post='1703270' date='Feb 28 2009, 14.42']No, people who are looking for one night stands are not normally desperate. They are people who are good at picking up other people of the other sex, normally quite attractive ones too. The absolute BEST people at this are the people who are good looking and know it. I used to be one, I know.[/quote]

The looks are always the first to go... :P

[Teri]

[quote name='Erzulie the Unruly' post='1703398' date='Feb 28 2009, 09.53']The looks are always the first to go... :P[/quote]

Lyanna's only 32. I bet she looks even better now than she did at 22.

[Kat]

I've done the female equivalent. I have friend jealousy, in all honesty, not that a friend is getting hit on, but that I'm being ignored. If I go out with a friend on the condition that we're going to spend the evening together, and that friend then quickly gets absorbed into a conversation with a guy who's trying to pick her up, and I'm excluded from this conversation, then yes, I'm going to be a bit miffed. Now I just check with my friends before we go out that this is not an expedition to pick up guys, and if that's what they want to do, then let me know up front so I can find someone else to talk to and hopefully not mislead them that I'm planning to go home with them, because almost 100% of the time, I'm neither looking for a hookup nor a relationship. I wouldn't try to wreck someone's potential hookup just for kicks, but I do get mad when a girls' night out turns into something else. :thumbsdown:

[Aegon Blutarsky]

[quote name='Xray the Enforcer' post='1702379' date='Feb 27 2009, 10.23']I don't think she's saying this at all. I think she's taking issue with a lot of the posturing in this thread that reduces women to the meat between their legs.[/quote]

I thought it was the hole in the meat between their legs?

You know, The Wound That Never Heals

[Myshkin]

[quote name='Balefont' post='1703293' date='Feb 28 2009, 06.42']It's just a general yet palpable feeling I've gotten through reading various threads. Guys are ignorant sex driven pigs that us girls have to put up with. Of course with the exception of those enlightened few that "get it".

I dunno, though I agree that "The Battle" is still going on, albeit on a more subtle level, I feel like I [i]personally[/i] have gathered the skills necessary to navigate through these life trials. I will pass this knowledge on to my daughter all the while hoping that things will continue to get better. I don't, however, feel the necessity to protect every one of my female "sisters" when their own worst enemy is not male douchery but themselves.[/quote]
Thank you. Your posts make me happy. Sadly, other posts in this thread have made me very mad. Frankly the accusations made against men in this thread have been disgusting and very offensive. We've been accused of having no interest in women besides getting our "dicks wet". We've been accused of being disease-ridden perverts whose ultimate goal is to trick women into thinking we're using a condom (Honestly, do you think we're stupid? Do you think that men don't worry about pregnancy or STDs?). We've actually been accused of rape. As if sleeping with a women met at a bar somehow constitutes rape. And the most ironic thing is that those posters who have jumped in in the supposed defense of women have themselves been more sexist toward women than anyone else in this thread. The implication from them is that women are too naive to understand what they are doing when hooking up with a guy at a bar. The implication from them is that women need protecting from our lecherous advances, lest in their innocence they fall victim to our diabolical plans. Simply put, their implication is that women don't have the capacity to make decision regarding their sex life, nor should they be held accountable for their action when a man so obviously led them astray.


Now if I'm gonna be accused of being a sexist pig I might as well have some fun with it:

[quote name='VigoTheCarpathian' post='1703083' date='Feb 27 2009, 22.04']Vice versa? Or do both disfigurements have something to do with Dostoyevsky? Regardless of what anyone might think, I believe that any penis decapitation involves the cream of the Russian writers, and a big toe might figure in there too.[/quote]
Like I said, the cock thing really isn't that interesting a story.

I was informed that the International Federation of Misogynist Perverts (IFMP) had concluded that my cock was ruining women for the rest of them. I was told that they had taken a vote and decided that my beast should be trimmed down to a modest 7 inches. Now I could see where they were coming from; Biggo and I [i]had[/i] been tearing up the vag recently. But I'd be damned if I let them chop my hog down to a mere size 7. So I set up a meeting with the IFMP president, Jeremy Dostoevsky, and after weeks of rock hard negotiations we finally agreed on a middle ground; I chopped the top 9 inches off my cock, and now I'm a svelte size 14. The IFMP isn't entirely happy, but I told them there's really nothing I could do about the girth.

[Slurktan]

[quote name='Lyanna Stark' post='1703368' date='Feb 28 2009, 12.16']The initial post litechick commented on was definitely not anywhere near that spirit tho. It was simply a guy moaning in pretty demeaning language cos he couldn't get a "fugly" cumbucket for his desperation. Which is pathetic.[/quote]

You have an interesting way of inserting words of your own choosing and making it seem as if the original poster said them. Even though in this case they didn't. Seriously is there a reason for you to do this or were you purposefully being an asshole just to get a rise out of certain people, who in this case are particular men?

[Arbor Gold]

[quote name='Myshkin' post='1703759' date='Feb 28 2009, 20.39']Frankly the accusations made against men in this thread have been disgusting and very offensive.[/quote]
I agree 100%. They have also been very offensive to me personally, as they paint women as helpless victims with no decision-making abilities of our own.

As far as cockblocking goes, yeah it sucks. It's funny when done intentionally, but the friend who just won't leave is annoying as hell. I prefer the direct approach in these situations. I once told a guy, "Can you please go somewhere else? I want to fuck your roommate now." Worked like a charm.

[SquireThomas]

Myshkin:

I was just going to type "good post", but I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. After a review of your recent actions, The IFMP has decided to expel you. While you may feel this decision is sudden, I assure you it's based on solid facts. Coming right on the heels of the cock debacle, it's come to my attention that your quarterly STD-infection numbers are [i]far[/i] below par. Since, as is well known, we are the premiere international woman hating league, you no longer meet the lofty standards of our organization, and President Bakker has personally authorize your dismissal.

If you have any questions, please contact me or your local IFMP rep.

[Myshkin]

[quote name='SquireThomas' post='1704155' date='Mar 1 2009, 15.02']Myshkin:

I was just going to type "good post", but I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. After a review of your recent actions, The IFMP has decided to expel you. While you may feel this decision is sudden, I assure you it's based on solid facts. Coming right on the heels of the cock debacle, it's come to my attention that your quarterly STD-infection numbers are [i]far[/i] below par. Since, as is well known, we are the premiere international woman hating league, you no longer meet the lofty standards of our organization, and President Bakker has personally authorize your dismissal.

If you have any questions, please contact me or your local IFMP rep.[/quote]
This is bullshit! Why wasn't I informed before such drastic measures were taken? Well, you know what? I'm gonna go stick my beast into every diseased vag I can find, and when I show up at the next meeting with a dripping masterpiece dangling around my knees you're gonna [i]beg[/i] me to join you again. And I'm gonna make you bend over backward (literally) before I even consider returning to the fold!

[DJDonegal]

OK, first of all, the original post was based on (what I thought were) comedic perceptions. I have never picked up in a bar, I have very rarely even [i]tried[/i] to pick up in a bar. Yes. I am admitting to a 0% success rate at picking up in bars, but luckily women don't exist only in bars.

It appears my humour has left a sour taste for some people. Apologies. But comedy (however poorly translated), like life, isn't something that should be edited. I'm disappointed only that funnier people than me were unable to pursue the avenue of creative comedy for longer, as I was kept amused for the opening pages of this thread, until some people (justifiably, as they feel strongly on this subject) took it slightly more serious than was ever my intention. But I hold no bad feelings for that. I appreciate passion in a topic, and that has led to a good debate. Just not in the place I had intended. I can only assume it's my lack of a reputation for humourous posts that parody the finer points of life is what has led to such misperception about my intentions, which were entirely tongue-in-cheek. But two of the posts I picked up on my way through:

[quote name='cyrano' post='1701812' date='Feb 27 2009, 14.42']I know I am almost American now, but I see there are still many customs and traditions I have to learn in this sytange land of yours.[/quote]
<---- Not American

[quote name='Teri' post='1702444' date='Feb 28 2009, 04.58']DJ usually seems like a nice person, so I'll assume that he was being deliberately more crude in his post than he really feels when he is on the make, as is often the way with these threads.[/quote]
Thanks Teri. I appreciate you could see past the words.

I had intended for a more humourous second post, but I'm not sure how apt that would be given the hostility by some posters. As Jacen said earlier:

[quote name='Jacen' post='1702412' date='Feb 28 2009, 04.46']This thread has just about reached the point where it's too dangerous to say anything as [s]a guy[/s] the original poster.[/quote]
Maybe the third will be an attempted return to form.

[HT Reddy]

:) Poor DJ.

ETA: I mean I am referring to the fact that he got himself accidently much maligned by starting this thread.

[Auburn Dragon]

I'm really surprised by all of the negativity here. But we must forge on.

Both men and women are capable of harming their friends through their own selfishness. I myself have both male and female friends who I always need to be conscious of when I go out to a bar.

One guy friend will wait until I go pee and then pick a fight with any guy I was talking to, or just tell the guy that we are involved. If I include my guy friends in the conversation from the beginning they often are more accepting of letting a guy hang out with us, and it makes it harder for them to scare the new guy away.

My female friends are another story. I haven't found a good way to guard against their swooping in. I know it's insecurity that makes them chase the same guys as me, but sometimes it can be really painful to watch them walk away with someone I liked. The only thing I can do is tell a guy right up front, if they are looking to have sex they can go home with K or M... but if they want to get to know me, that isn't an option.

[SquireThomas]

[quote]One guy friend will wait until I go pee and then pick a fight with any guy I was talking to, or just tell the guy that we are involved. If I include my guy friends in the conversation from the beginning they often are more accepting of letting a guy hang out with us, and it makes it harder for them to scare the new guy away.[/quote]

This may be a stupid question, but why exactly are you going out with this guy? He sounds like a fucking pain.

[ldygrffn]

in the original vein of the thread...

nobody has mentioned how that poor girl feels when his drunken-asshole-buddy shows up. i mean, i know that if i have been having a real conversation with someone for any length of time at a bar, it is because they don't suck and i am enjoying myself (although if they do suck, that might be for the better).

i have twice ever in my life wanted to go home with the guy i met in the bar, once was a good hang-out for a few months before i left for far off lands, the other was the victim of the OP's cockblocker. we were talking for much time, and then his buddy, the one who had periodically interrupted to argue that we must both take his millionth shot with him and been blown off by his friend, came over and pulled the true idiot-card, and would not go away. alas, the very interesting male that i had invested my entire evening into eventually, after apologizing a million times, had to run away in a cloud of humiliation because of said friend. and he ran too fast for me to even say good-bye, let alone get a number.

damn the cockblock!

[litechick]

DJ, I appreciate you coming back to clarify where you were coming from in the OP. It doesn't surprise me that you meant to be funny. It's my position that it's not funny because a lot of guys really do think like that and they can do a lot of damage to women who haven't learned to spot them yet.

I didn't make any provisions in my response for women who know the score and are willing participants because by definition they can take care of themselves. Women who are not willing participants but have the ability to spot the creeps may wish to vent their distaste for the creeps even if it serves no purpose but catharsis.

I don't think innocent men should take offense because I took care to qualify my language with 'many' 'most' or 'some'. I didn't make sweeping statements like "every man in the history of the world.." If my comments don't apply to you, don't take them personally.

It's confusing to me why some seem to take my comments as a sweeping indictment of every man who's ever tried to start a conversation with a woman in a bar. It would be nice if we could agree that no sweeping judgment is being made unless the person says specifically that every person in ABC group does XYZ but perhaps that is asking too much. If I didn't address you but you see yourself in my criticism, that's you making the judgment not me.

I regret that SJohn was one of the recipients of my diatribe because I really do believe that he is a good guy who means no harm to anyone. Nevertheless, I could not turn a blind eye to his posts.

To those who think I have accused them unfairly I say: Prove me wrong. Every interaction you have with the opposite sex, keep it forefront in your mind that she is a human being whether you find her attractive or not, whether you think you can get her in bed or not, whether she is an obstacle to your objectives or not. Kindness is not weakness even if your buddies are there making ribald remarks and generally behaving like jackasses. If every courteous interaction is followed by a mental "fuck you litechick!" that's fine with me. I embrace it.

[Please do not mistake my use of the word 'courteous.' I'm not trying to be some sexual Emily Post. I don't think that courtesy and ribaldry are mutually exclusive. I'm just talking about treatment which is not derogatory. When my crew guys mime giving me an eiffel tower, I take it in the spirit intended and consider it charmingly affectionate.]

If I could control what people take away from this thread it would be this:

--Being a horny young man does not give you a free pass to be oblivious to other people's feelings and get laid by any means necessary. I keep hearing "but we were just having fun" or "you can't expect a man to turn down an opportunity to get laid" etc. (Not just in this thread, in the world in general. Not every man makes these justifications. [I hope that satisfies the generalization police.])

"Boys will be boys" ends when you become a man. If you consider yourself a man, do not hide behind lame justifications. "But I hadn't been laid in a long time..." "What could I do? She was willing, I can't be expected to turn down sex."

Once again, if I am not describing you I'm not talking about you.

--Some women are sexually sophisticated and ready to engage in sexual negotiations over drinks and ask no quarter. Some women want romance and naively interpret your interest as interest in her as a person and not just interest in her pussy. Women need to learn the difference, men need to learn the difference. [b]Mistakes will be made [/b]but a woman doesn't have carte blanche to assume genuine interest in her as a person and men don't have carte blanche to do her even if she is not sophisticated.

--Have fun but try not to hurt anybody.

I can't believe I even have to stipulate this. I don't think that the average person wants to sow hurt and destruction, nevertheless hurt and destruction are sown. "I didn't mean to" is for children. Try hard. Admit your mistakes. Face up. (Women and men.)

--People see what they want to see. A woman who wants romance sees romance in the bar hook-up. A man who wants to see no-strings sex sees no-strings sex. Adults need to be aware of their pre-conceived notions and add salt to what they see accordingly.

I'll stop now. One cannot encapsulate the mating dance in anything less than a book. I've undoubtedly left many avenues of argument unexplored but how long can a post realistically be?

I want people to have fun. I know people rarely want to inflict suffering. I know this aspect of my message will go unregarded. I know some will find offense in what I've written. Now I succomb to helplessness. Take it how you will, just try to find unkindness in yourself and eliminate it. I'm still trying.