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Help! My cat is a sex addict!


mashiara

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At least you're not a vegetable. I notice Terra has wisely stayed out of here.)

See above. The Daikon knows no fear. It is not sold by IKEA.

Of course not. The Daikon is not mass produced. There is only one. And yes, that makes Terra the Highlander of produce.

But no wombats or koalas. That would just be taking it too far.

Is there such a thing as too far on this board? I thought we had taken any boundaries and destroyed them long, long ago!

ETA: I just saw Chaldanya's last response and am laughing all over again!

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isn't the danger there that the boys will come away with the vague feeling that they should be having sex with vegetables? (I suppose it'll make grocery shopping new and exciting)

When a man loves a broccoli very much...

(Apparently someone didn't get the memo that all our cats are spayed or neutered and that there is already a female cat present. *sigh*)

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I suppose in the future having Muppet around will make having 'The Talk' with the kids a bit easier.

Nothing makes having The Talk easier. :P

Of course not. The Daikon is not mass produced. There is only one. And yes, that makes Terra the Highlander of produce.

:rofl:

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Well they make a toy called Hotdoll for dog's maybe they make one for cats and you can get the Great Muppet the Raper to use it instead.

Oh and for the love of your sanity dont google the hotdoll thing unless you wanna see a dog humping its eyes out on a sex doll for dogs, dishwasher safe too!

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:love: this thread makes me so happy.

Clearly, Muppet needs one of the new TGOT plushies...

If he woke the dragon by humping one of the eggs, Mash and dT would have a whole new set of problems to worry about. :)

I'm crazy busy right now and the kids are driving me insane but I just couldn't ignore those. :love: Want! I might even share with Muppet.

I was feeding them a snack half an hour ago when I noticed the small turtle had moved from the bedroom to the dining room. One thing to be said for Muppet, he likes to spread it around!

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Sanctuary.

Few words provided such relief.

Mr. Broccoli found himself perched atop a mountainous bookshelf. How he had come to be there was a blur, but he would not rehearse the events of his salvation lest he be forced to recollect more of the nightmare than he could bear. Here he had achieved isolation most holy.

He and Mr. Carrot had been enjoying a casual repose on the sofa as only stuffed vegetables could and wondering when the children would come to play with them. But their reverie had been disrupted when a hulking, furry, and crucially, animated creature had lept up onto their hallowed cushions.

Muppet.

The demon went for Mr. Carrot, the poor root. Mr. Broccoli heard Mr. Carrot shriek in tones that only other stuffed veggies could hear. The noise sent shivers down the depths of his stalk and to the very reaches of his sprouts. Muppet had come with his dreaded Love in tow, and Mr. Carrot would be the unfortunate recipient.

The rest was a blur for Mr. Broccoli. Perhaps trauma had spared him the more intimate details of the unholy congress of Mr. Carrot and the demon. Perhaps Miltos, heroic and merciful, had spirited him away from the horrors on the sofa. What mattered now was sanctuary, and he had found it. He would not relitigate the details.

But just as he was drifting off into more pleasant dreams he was knocked from the cherished shelves.

He fell.

Suddenly, realization struck him. He was on the floor. The fall itself was not the problem. No, he had been designed to be tossed to and fro. But how had he fallen? What had disturbed his precious solitude?

He looked up.

No.

It did not seem possible, but upon the ledge where he’d rested only moments before there were now two eyes affixed to a head too large to be a cat’s though it was catlike. It could only be the demon. Muppet.

Somehow he had found Mr. Broccoli even there where he’d believed himself safe. But the time of Muppet had arrived, and no refuge remained for the furry and the inanimate…

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