Help! My cat is a sex addict!

[Angalin]

Mix and match plush toys of the Rumpty Cat with various vegetables, reptiles and amphibians? I like it. Don't think IKEA will pick up the line, though.

[Stubby]

I think you could open a website, referring to Muppet as Rumpty Cat, sparking memes, t-shirts and (dare I say it) plush toys.

But no wombats or koalas. That would just be taking it too far.

[The Anti-Targ]

But no wombats or koalas. That would just be taking it too far.

Koala's have VD. It is known.

[Seventh Pup]

I think you are going about this the wrong way, as everyone knows the best ways deal with masturbation is guilt. Have you tried explaining to Muppet that by pleasuring himself in the here and now he risks the fires of hell? Have you told him that every time he dances the forbidden dance with carrot that God weeps? Truly I think one good guilt trip might be able to straighten this all out. :idea:

[Guest]

I think you are going about this the wrong way, as everyone knows the best ways deal with masturbation is guilt. Have you tried explaining to Muppet that by pleasuring himself in the here and now he risks the fires of hell? Have you told him that every time he dances the forbidden dance with carrot that God weeps? Truly I think one good guilt trip might be able to straighten this all out. :idea:

We'll have to see how Muppet reacts once he gets word of this thread. If that doesn't do it, I don't think religious superstition will have any chance of working.

[Angalin]

I think you are going about this the wrong way, as everyone knows the best ways deal with masturbation is guilt. Have you tried explaining to Muppet that by pleasuring himself in the here and now he risks the fires of hell? Have you told him that every time he dances the forbidden dance with carrot that God weeps? Truly I think one good guilt trip might be able to straighten this all out. :idea:

It's hard to lay a decent guilt trip on a member of a species previously worshipped as gods themselves. They give you the side-eye for dropping them as official deities and raise a paw as if to say, Bring Me my plushie, sacrilegious human.

[dalThor]

Unfortunately I've already missed my first opportunity this morning to document the phenomenon. I see Mr. Broccoli was safely stowed atop a box of toys, however, Mr. Carrot didn't fare as well. I was getting the kids dressed and Muppet dragged him into their room beneath him, pounding away furiously.

[Moon-Pale Maiden]

OH my goodness.. I had a male cat that did the SAME THING!

My poor late kitty Dexter was a fiend for this big fake fur hat. He'd drag it around between his legs, stop right in front of our company, then proceed to do the nasty. All the while, He'd hold the top of the hat between his teeth and sort of stare at us while he did it. It was by turns hilarious and quite unsettling.

You said your cat was neutered. It's surprising that he still does this. My kitty did eventually stop when we got him neutered. What I can recommend first is spraying everything he "uses" with lemon juice. Cats hate the smell with a passion. Also, try the feliway, as other have suggested.

Lastly, you could choose one thing - and everytime he goes for something else, re-direct him to use just that one stuffed animal. Then he'll at least only get his passions out on that one, and you can try to hide it in another room with a gate. That way your poor frustrated kitty can have a little self-time by himself.

I would not recommend punishing the cat though. He cannot help it, it's an instinct. He'll only begin to act out, become aggressive, or start doing other destructive things, like peeing on your bed. You don't want to make the problem worse. We simply lived with it and tried to minimize his interaction. It made him happy. whatever.

[Every]

Lastly, you could choose one thing - and everytime he goes for something else, re-direct him to use just that one stuffed animal. Then he'll at least only get his passions out on that one, and you can try to hide it in another room with a gate. That way your poor frustrated kitty can have a little self-time by himself.

I think we also need video of you trying to redirect his affections away from the carrot mid-coitus. I'm picturing something like

, only involving the broccoli.

[Chaldanya]

...pounding away furiously.

I don't believe I have ever needed to see this phrase in relation to a cat.

I feel dirty and a little bit violated now.

N

[Call me Odie]

This topic is sponsored by ... IKEA

I wonder what Kamprad would say about this topic :)

[Gillio]

I think you are going about this the wrong way, as everyone knows the best ways deal with masturbation is guilt. Have you tried explaining to Muppet that by pleasuring himself in the here and now he risks the fires of hell? Have you told him that every time he dances the forbidden dance with carrot that God weeps? Truly I think one good guilt trip might be able to straighten this all out. :idea:

It's hard to lay a decent guilt trip on a member of a species previously worshipped as gods themselves. They give you the side-eye for dropping them as official deities and raise a paw as if to say, Bring Me my plushie, sacrilegious human.

And they've got nine lives, so i guess 9 afterlives - can probably spare one for hell!

[Elder Sister]

This thread is still making me laugh like heck.

Re: lemon juice...I believe fairies also hate lemon juice.

I'm wondering what would happen if I sprayed my dog's 'girlfriend' with lemon juice. But I hate to break up a long standing relationship, though.

[Lightning Lord]

Unfortunately I've already missed my first opportunity this morning to document the phenomenon. I see Mr. Broccoli was safely stowed atop a box of toys, however, Mr. Carrot didn't fare as well. I was getting the kids dressed and Muppet dragged him into their room beneath him, pounding away furiously.

This thread continues to deliver. Would should have it stickied for the rest of the year. (just like the broccoli and carrot...)

[Chaldanya]

This thread is still making me laugh like heck.

Re: lemon juice...I believe fairies also hate lemon juice.

I'm wondering what would happen if I sprayed my dog's 'girlfriend' with lemon juice. But I hate to break up a long standing relationship, though.

I dunno, ES, I think you keep washing his smell off his girlfriend. He thinks his doing a job of work and getting his girlfriend soiled enough and then you undo all of his work. He is probably on the verge of stopping when you clean her and he has to start again.

Poor bugger

N

[Whitestripe]

Just popping in to agree that this has to be the best thread ever.

[Minaku]

Unfortunately I've already missed my first opportunity this morning to document the phenomenon. I see Mr. Broccoli was safely stowed atop a box of toys, however, Mr. Carrot didn't fare as well. I was getting the kids dressed and Muppet dragged him into their room beneath him, pounding away furiously.

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

I can't figure out what the best thing about this scenario is: the carrot getting donged in the eyes of children and men, or the fact that the cat is named Muppet. I petition you guys to rename Muppet Khal Dongo, The One Who Mounts Produce.

[Tears of Lys]

I can't take it anymore. Please stop!

:rofl:

[dalThor]

I can't figure out what the best thing about this scenario is: the carrot getting donged in the eyes of children and men, or the fact that the cat is named Muppet. I petition you guys to rename Muppet Khal Dongo, The One Who Mounts Produce.

I suppose in the future having Muppet around will make having 'The Talk' with the kids a bit easier.

[Chaldanya]

I suppose in the future having Muppet around will make having 'The Talk' with the kids a bit easier.

isn't the danger there that the boys will come away with the vague feeling that they should be having sex with vegetables? (I suppose it'll make grocery shopping new and exciting)

N