Drawk's Back To Crisis Mode

[Lany Freelove Cassandra]

:grouphug: Sorry to hear about all the stuff you are going through :grouphug:

Please don't be too hard on yourself. You have been under so much pressure.

Also try to make some time for yourself to let off some steam.

[Tears of Lys]

It's been said before - often the caregiver will get sick because they don't/can't keep focus on their own health.

:grouphug:

It can't be said enough. I seriously worry about you, Drawk. You've been running on empty for too long.

Yeah, your parents aren't going to want people they don't know helping them. Y'know what? Tough. They sound like they can't see what they've been doing to their son all this time.

My mom has a tendency to try to shift stuff off to us "kids" when she has a call she has to make or paperwork to fill out. When we insist that, no, YOU have to do it, she's pissed at first, but then is so proud of herself after she's done it. And it makes her STRONGER. Leaning on others for assistance all the time weakens you. In the long run, it's not healthy.

Now, that being said, it takes a critical eye to be able to distinguish between someone who's just pushing stuff off on others to do for them, and people who really need help. (For instance, my dad has been losing his hearing for some time now AND he has macular degeneration, which renders him almost totally blind in one eye PLUS cataracts. I take him to his appointments and make phone calls for him because he truly cannot do it.)

Does your mom and dad have a primary care physician who is experienced in working with the elderly? Older people need to be screened for signs of dementia, Alzheimer's, medicine dosages, depression/anxiety, and a host of other issues. The fact that she said she couldn't walk and the doctor at the ER said it was psychosomatic should be mentioned to her primary care doc.

As for your blowing up at your mom, don't worry, you're not going to hell for what you said. But definitely do whatever it takes so that you can take time for YOU. You need to recharge.

We love you, Drawk! :grouphug:

[drawkcabi]

The drama continues...

I mentioned having dizzy spells. Well today I was at the grocery store doing the shopping and I started feeling very weak and tired. I went and sat on a bench for 15 minutes and thought I felt better. I got up to finish my shopping but after going maybe 30 feet I started to lose my vision and I felt a pressure in my head like a geyser was going to spurt out of my ear.

I tried to make it back to the bench to sit down. Halfway there I completely blacked out. The next thing I knew I was on the floor, the shopping cart had fallen over on its side too, I had been holding onto it so tight I took it down with me.

They had to call the paramedics and too me to the ER. They did blood tests and an EKG and everything looked ok they said. But I had never seen my blood pressure so low. It was 99/47, I'm usually like 130/80. The machine kept taking my bp every 20 minutes and it kept fluctuating, the systolic went up to about 117 then back down to 105, the diastolic went to 61, then back to 56.

The ER doc thought the most likely culprit for my dizzy spells and blackout today is the Atenolol I've been taking for high blood pressure. I've been on this medication for years but only in the last couple months have I been having these dizzy spells and today by far was the worst of them.

I'm home now. Tired and my head still feels kind of strange, like there's pressure in areas. I was told to call my gp tomorrow and let them know what happened and not to take any atenolol until I talk him.

I've had dizzy spells before and I've had times where my vision started going, but nothing compares to how bad it was today. I've never before fainted or blacked out. It was a scary thing.

[Seventh Pup]

That sound extremely frightening. Definitely follow up with your doctor! I have no advice, just wishing you the best, and a creepy :grouphug:.

[Gillio]

Ooh, that IS scary. Dont forget to follow up with your GP.

AND take care of yourself!! :grouphug:

This should cheer you up!

[Sis Who Swears]

Wow, that IS really scary Drawk. Please look after yourself, and remember YOU and YOUR health needs to come first. Let us know how you make out at the doctor's today okay? I am thinking of you, my friend. :love: :grouphug:

[Quoth]

Holy crap, Drawk! Please see a doc and take care! :grouphug:

[Tears of Lys]

Aw, shit, Drawk. Please feel better, okay? just for us? :) :grouphug: <---- not creepy at all.

Okay, now this is creepy ----> :kiss:

ETA: Sit down and relax and gaze upon my avatar. You'll feel better in no time! (or something. ;) )

[drawkcabi]

I have an appointment now with my gp for this Friday morning, earliest he could fit me in. I feel ok now, but at times my head starts feeling like a bowling ball on my shoulders, and whenever I stand up, no matter how easy I take it, I feel dizzy for 30 seconds to maybe a couple minutes at times.

I just want to reiterate my thanks and appreciation for all of you not only taking the time to read all my drama but to give me such support. I don't do facebook or anything like that and it seems everyone in my extended family have their own trials going on, being able to vent in this thread to people I consider my friends has been such phenomenal help to me.

Thank you, all of you, you are the best internet friends a guy could have. :grouphug:

[Gillio]

Friday? Good Friday? Cool Doctor, they close here!

Keep taking it easy!

[Howdyphillip]

Sorry to hear that you are having more troubles. I have experienced similar things as well, and I think that you are making the right decision to consult your physician. Try and take it easy until you get a verdict and try really hard to follow whatever instructions that he/she gives you. Health problems are serious concerns. Take care of yourself so that I can spend many more years enjoying your internet friendship.

[Angalin]

Best wishes, drawk. Take care of yourself.

[Hereward]

Very, very late to this thread. Apologies.

Best wishes, drawk.

[Sci-2]

I have an appointment now with my gp for this Friday morning, earliest he could fit me in. I feel ok now, but at times my head starts feeling like a bowling ball on my shoulders, and whenever I stand up, no matter how easy I take it, I feel dizzy for 30 seconds to maybe a couple minutes at times.

I just want to reiterate my thanks and appreciation for all of you not only taking the time to read all my drama but to give me such support. I don't do facebook or anything like that and it seems everyone in my extended family have their own trials going on, being able to vent in this thread to people I consider my friends has been such phenomenal help to me.

Thank you, all of you, you are the best internet friends a guy could have. :grouphug:

I'm glad you got to the doctor. Let us know how things are going and keep in mind there's a bunch of resources in my sig.

[drawkcabi]

Just an update for anyone interested:

Went to see my doctor this morning. He went over the blood test results he got from the hospital. He thinks my fainting was a combination of my anemia/thalassemia and low blood pressure. When I had my bp taken this morning it was 147/82 but he is still asking me to hold off on my bp meds.

He's referred me to a hematologist and I've got an appointment set up with him for the 12th of May. I think this is good, because as I mentioned I not only have anemia, but I have the thalassemia minor that I inherited from the Italian side of my family. (Of all the things I could have inherited... :P ) But it will be interesting to talk to a specialist about this. No matter what for the rest of my life, my blood will always show up as anemic do to the disorder, but understanding it more can only be a good thing.

Also, my doctor said that the blood tests showed my kidney's didn't look good. There were indications I could have kidney stones, so I need to go to the imaging center and get some X-Rays of my kidneys.

I have been having a lot of lower back pain recently and also, a few weeks ago, my right foot swelled up to twice its normal size for some reason. It was incredibly painful to walk on. When that happened, on my initiative, I took an extra bp pill that day that I knew was also a diuretic. I urinated like crazy for the next couple days and my foot went back to normal size and the pain went completely away. My doctor said that it was ok taking the extra pill like I did and that if something like that happens again, to go ahead and start taking the diuretic bp meds again until the swelling again subsides, and then discontinue the meds again.

My doctor also took some more blood today to do a bit more extensive tests than they did at the hospital. I also go back to see him on the 8th of May.

I came home today and was just plain dog tired. I couldn't sleep right away though. I hadn't watched the most recent 6 episodes of Community, I watched them all today and that put me in a great mood!

After that I was ready to take a nap and I slept for the rest of the afternoon.

Thank you again everyone for your kindness in your sentiments and your caring. :grouphug:

[Gillio]

Glad to hear things are progressing, you sound more like your old self!

Best of luck with the next appointments!

:grouphug:

[Tears of Lys]

Yes! So glad to hear you're getting some answers.

BTW, if your doctor's been entering all of your info on a computer lately, you probably can get access to all that stuff from home. You need to ask at the dr. office to get a code and then set it up. Also, most of them now offer the ability to send in a question.

I have yet to use it yet, and I'm sure different docs' responsiveness varies. But I really like the idea in theory.

[drawkcabi]

Not in crisis mode now but more shit is happening again...literally.

I've talked about my neighbor before with dementia, possibly Alzheimer's. Her daughter has been trying to get her into a nursing home for a while now but the waiting list is long and until then she takes her mother home with her for a few days here and there and then brings her back to her home here where she lives by herself.

I know when she's home because every time I go out of the house she sees me and if the weather is fair she comes out because she wants someone to talk to. When I go out and she doesn't come out that usually means she's at her daughter's. All this week/last week she's been home. Garbage is such a strange thing with her, she'll put bags and bags of it out on collection day, seemingly way too much for one person to have in a week, then the next thing I know she's moved her garbage bags in front of my house or other neighbors' houses - one time I went out and on my front porch was a bag full of old tax information and stuff all with her name on it, another time she came over and wanted to give us a bunch of oranges, we told her we didn't want them and made her take them back, then later I go out back and there's a bag out there with the oranges plus banana peels and dirty socks. Anyway, on Friday, I was walking around the house and see that up against the back of my house her garbage can and a bunch of garbage in shopping bags and some loose too outside the can.

She came outside and I asked her if that was her can, she said it was but she swore the garbage was not hers. I put the garbage in the can anyway because it wasn't mine and brought the can back to her yard. I swear, not thirty seconds after I brought the can over and halfway back to my yard she looks in the can and says "Who put all this garbage in my can?" I just shrugged and went back inside my house.

Cut to yesterday evening. I go to the bathroom only to urinate and when I flush the toilet it stops up. I get the plunger and start plunging but the water won't go down and as I plunge the sink starts belching up water too. We've had septic issues before and ever since the first time back in 2008 we've been very careful about what goes down our pipes. Only human waste and the least amount of toilet paper we can manage. When we had the first septic back up in 2008 it made the cap on our clean out pipe in our front yard pop off. Since then we've had plastic tubs turned upside down over the pipe to keep animals and other obstructions from getting in there. Again, back to yesterday evening. It's still light out so I go outside, the patio is all wet. I go over to the clean out pipe and barely touch the bucket and it crumbles and like a volcano water and toilet paper and waste starts gushing out of the pipe. Gushing and gushing and gushing, then I see orange or tangerine skins, apple skins, lettuce, carrots, and other junk all over my front yard and loads and loads of toilet paper.

WTF?!!! I know no one in my house would ever put that stuff, besides some toilet paper in the toilet and no way down the sink. The carrots were sliced rounds, only way they could have got into the system was to be flushed. Also maybe some of the white stuff wasn't toilet paper but wipes that don't break down.

I guess I should mention my house shares the septic system with my neighbor.

:tantrum: :bang: :ack: :stillsick: :dunno:

[Elder Sister]

Drawk, you are past overdue for a major break. I'm so sorry.

[James Arryn]

Really simple things can actually help deal with crisis and depression, to some degree.

Number one, breathing. Stupid but true. Deep breaths. Over and over. Try and feel if your jaw muscles are clenching, and if they are try sagging and loosening your mouth. Roll your neck and shoulders.

Number two: realize that there will be a time when you will be able to look back on this and think of it as history. The 2 most powerful emotions people go through with crisis/situational depression are a profound sense it will never get better and a connected feeling of helplessness. Realizing that, as bad as it is, you will be looking back on this one day helps with both feelings. It's not easy and it's not immediate, but persuade yourself like you're a friend, and realize that in reality you're speaking the truth. Happier times will come, even if it's watching Community.