Children and Same Sex Couples

[Whitestripe]

Let me first start off by saying what you all probably already know. Ser Stripe and I are working hard to raise tolerant, open-minded children. They know that Miss Lydia and Miss Heather (colleagues of mine) live together "like a family" and they know that the kid they went to summer camp with has two dads. We don't treat homosexuality any different than heterosexuality in our house. That said, I don't think that the kids have ever seen a same-sex couple being affectionate towards each other. We are are going renting a beach house next week with several friends from undergrad and one of the couples happens to be two men. Should we say something to prepare the kids? Kids have no filter, and I can see "Why is XX holding hands with another boy?" coming out. (again, they know that you can hold hands/kiss/marry in our state whomever you want to but I don't know that they've thought it through to the actual doing or seen anyone other than opposite sex couples being affectionate.) While I certainly don't mean to imply that there is going to be any inappropriate behavior in front of the children, I am sure that they will act like any other couple there (as well they should!) and the kids will pick up on that.

Am I totally over thinking this? I don't want my kids to ask what might be seen as rude questions and embarrass my friends.

[Mya Stone]

Skunky, I think you might be over thinking it. Children are infinitely more tolerant to everything. However, in new situations, they take their cues from you. If you don't show any confusion or displeasure from the displays of same sex affection, I don't think they would.

Even if they were to voice a question out loud, I don't think anyone would take it the wrong way. It's natural for kids to ask questions about everything. It's all about the answer you give them, and I know you, and know you will have a great response if they happen to verbalize confusion in public. They may wait until you are alone, though. :)

[Martini Sigil]

Kids need parents who will read to them, and provide emotional stability. You'll be fine, your kids will be fine. May you and your family experience nothing but health, happiness, and silly laughs.

[Tears of Lys]

Yeah, I agree with the above two. I wouldn't say anything to them about it ahead of time, or it'll make them "on guard" and draw unnatural attention. IOW, they'll be watching out for the "gay guys" and whisper among themselves at the first sign.

[Foxtrot0245]

A normal couple making out and being all lovey-dovey in front of a kid would be weird. Two guys doing the same in front of your kids would be even weirder. Tell your friends that it's inappropriate, or just leave the kids with a sitter if you really must go.

[all swedes are racist]

Yeah, I think if you try to "prep" your kids, you run the risk of making this "a thing" in your kids heads. It's totally natural for kids to be curious an ask questions. I think answering these questions naturally, as they come up, kind of reinforces the idea that "yeah, this may not be something you've witnessed before, but see, it's totally cool, just two people being happy and loving"

Uhh sorry, rambling. But yeah, kids, especially ones raised in such a positive atmosphere, can be really good at just getting it...

[brook]

There is a huge gap between making out and normal displays of affection. I certainly don't consider hand holding/hugging/quick kisses in front of children to be inappropriate or weird and I have nfi why you would consider it weirder coming from a gay couple than a straight (sorry 'normal') one.

Skunkbelly I agree with Mya, you're overthinking it, kids are generally pretty relaxed about these things and I can't imagine anyone being upset about an honest question from a child if they do have any.

[Foxtrot0245]

Let me rephrase, since feelings were hurt: I don't care what you do behind closed doors, gay or straight, but I shouldn't have to see it. Just keep off of each other and act like you have some restraint, FFS.

[peterbound]

Let me rephrase, since feelings were hurt: I don't care what you do behind closed doors, gay or straight, but I shouldn't have to see it. Just keep off of each other and act like you have some restraint, FFS.

Ya, that shits icky, keep it in your homes you perves.

[Foxtrot0245]

Also, a man fucking another man isn't normal. However, neither is heterosexual anal sex or eating breakfast for dinner, but people do that shit all the time. Pipe down and stop looking for a place to practice your gay white knight routine.

[H von T]

I wouldn't worry about it. Kids seem pretty open today. My niece and nephew have had lots of kids in their classes with two daddies or two mommies. Granted this is Portland. Heck, my nephew's high school even has bathrooms for transgender students.

[TerraPrime]

Re: Skunk

I think the others (except Foxtrot) are right. Just let it be a natural part of the gathering and if your kids do seem confused, then explain. I'd instead prep your friends. I'm sure they would not be offended by simple genuine questions or remarks from your kids, but letting them know that they should do what comes naturally to them far as PDA goes even if your kids raise some questions will go a long way of eliminating any doubt that the questions and reactions are just innocent reactions.

Re: Foxtrot

Yes people, I saw his comment. He's new here, so I think we should let that post stand. You know how in nature toxic animals have special markings? Yeah, this is his marking for our forum. May it live in perpetuity, or until he gets banned.

[Foxtrot0245]

I don't understand, a question was asked and everyone loses their minds when an answer pops up that doesn't match the preconceived answer. What is the point of asking the question if society already has its mind set as to what is the appropriate answer?

[chris999]

It would be inappropriate for them to be physically affectionate in front of children.

Save it for your private life, Children do not need to be exposed to it, and heteros dont want to see it.

Bash me for not being politically correct if you want, but Most people secretly agree with me, I am just telling it straight.

[Sci-2]

I'd actually say something to your kids beforehand.

Not that you need to make a big deal of it, in fact just mentioning it as casually as possible is probably best.

Save it for your private life, Children do not need to be exposed to it, and heteros dont want to see it.

Unless of course the children themselves turn out to be LGBT.

And this hetero is more than happy to see his gay friends happy and affectionate with the ones they love.

[brook]

Thankfully for everyone Skunkbelly is not here asking for advice on how to prevent her children being exposed to same sex affection. So any opinions on that matter really don't seem very helpful.

[Tears of Lys]

@Chris999: I'm hetero and I don't mind seeing it. :dunno:

[karaddin]

Neither of you are answering the question that was asked, I suggest you reread the OP if you think Skunk was asking whether she should shield her children from the disgusting homosexuals. She was asking whether she should discuss the nature of homosexual relationships with her children, or let them see the perfectly normal displays of affection between two consenting adults regardless of gender without any priming beforehand.

[Seventh Pup]

The only advise I might give is if you are close with the people you are going to be sharing a beach house with, it might be nice to give them a heads up if you think it's needed. An innocent question from a young child is not rudeness, it's curiosity; I'm sure your friends are smart enough to know that. :)

[Sci-2]

Neither of you are answering the question that was asked, I suggest you reread the OP if you think Skunk was asking whether she should shield her children from the disgusting homosexuals.

Nicely stated.

It's probably best for that discussion to be moved into some other thread.

eta: In case people don't know Karaddin's being sarcastic about the disgusting part.