Children and Same Sex Couples

[Foxtrot0245]

Also, a man fucking another man isn't normal. However, neither is heterosexual anal sex or eating breakfast for dinner, but people do that shit all the time. Pipe down and stop looking for a place to practice your gay white knight routine.

It would be "weirder" to those that took offense to that, just like explaining sex to a kid is weird but describing anal sex to a kid would be even weirder.

If you want to hate me, at least hate me for something I actually said, not something you assume I meant.

[Elder Sister]

Skunkbelly, I'm with Mya and the others; your kids will do fine. If they ask a question or two, it will be because they genuinely want to know, and your friends will most likely be fine with it.

The anti-gay bullshit in this thread is pretty horrifying. If you want to pretend that homosexuality is a 'lifestyle choice' that you disapprove of or that you condemn, that is fine; that's your right. But I don't want to hear anything you have to say on any subject, and am going to assume that you are an extremely backwards, vile human being on a par with KKK members. Making a judgment about me based on my sexuality is no different than judging me for the the color of my skin or my sex. It's just another form of bigotry. And if you can't get that, or don't understand that, I feel sorry for you.

[polishgenius]

Foxtrot, you've completely missed a fairly sizable part of the point of this topic. This isn't about the showy PDAs you seem to be objecting to, it's about the everyday ways couples interact that are totally fine in public and that kids may well pick up on when it's a same-sex couple doing it. Presumably you don't object, for example, to people holding hands in front of the children (which was one of the examples given initially).

[Foxtrot0245]

Yes, gay or straight, just leave it for your private life. Holding hands, kissing, baby talk, all of it. I understand people feel differently about touching and expressing love than I do, but all I have said is that seeing a couple being all lovey-dovey with one another in public is weird to me. Apparently, my non-discriminatory mindset of staying away from PDA is upsetting quite a few of you to the point that you are trying to make it "anti-gay." Whatever floats your boat.

[MinDonner]

The kneejerk defensiveness is strong with this one.

[mormont]

Foxtrot, your opinion is there in black and white: you've said you don't like PDAs from either straight or gay couples, but it is very clear that you do not have a 'non-discriminatory mindset'. You've said PDAs are "weirder" from gay couples than from straight ones: that is discriminatory.

Now, if you'd like to recant that statement, that would be laudable, but if you're just going to pretend you never made it, that's somewhat less than laudable.

[Foxtrot0245]

Mormont, did you read the thread? Or even just my last post? I stand by what I have said and have explained all my statements. While I am not the best in choosing my wording, I do honestly believe that people are reading into my comments what they want to. I don't know if it is because of the stereotype that most black people dislike gays or what, but I have only spoken on my personal beliefs that PDA from any couple is unacceptable.

[Stubby]

What? This is exactly what I've been saying since the beginning. I've made it very clear that my opinion was based on what is appropriate public behavior (not sexual orientation) over and over again, but still receive more useless drivel from the same people about a straw man they have been building since page one.

A strawman defence is only appropriate if you had not in fact said what you were being challenged on.

With this in mind, did you in fact say:

Also, a man fucking another man isn't normal. However, neither is heterosexual anal sex or eating breakfast for dinner, but people do that shit all the time. Pipe down and stop looking for a place to practice your gay white knight routine.

And did you not say:

I understood the question and put forth my method for handling a situation like this. My answer did not fit into the close-ended format of the question, but it is still a valid submittal.

I feel the need to ask my own question now: why does what I said make me a bad person? I made no attempts to ostracize or convert any gay person from their lifestyle, which is widely accepted and defended. But I put forth my own lifestyle choices of what I believe to be proper and acceptable and give solicited advice about how I handle similar situations around my kid and people act like I'm the devil...

If those comments were not meant to "ostracize or convert any gay person from their lifestyle" what did you mean? You have had opportunities to explain the reasoning behind your comments and have ignored them.

[Foxtrot0245]

Stubby, sorry I wasn't ignoring I was just inundated with responses of the same kilt and I thought you and a few others would have had your questions answered by now.

I don't think I understand what you are getting at though. I said that I haven't attempted and don't want to attempt to dissuade anyone from living their life as they see fit so I didn't understand why people were criticizing the way I live mine the way I see fit. Where did I go wrong in that?

[Stubby]

Stubby, sorry I wasn't ignoring I was just inundated with responses of the same kilt and I thought you and a few others would have had your questions answered by now.

I don't think I understand what you are getting at though. I said that I haven't attempted and don't want to attempt to dissuade anyone from living their life as they see fit so I didn't understand why people were criticizing the way I live mine the way I see fit. Where did I go wrong in that?

Perhaps you could start by addressing the issues I raised in my first post in a meaningful way. We get that you meant that all PDA's upset you. What has upset everyone else is the unexplained comments bolded in my reply above and explained in more detail in my initial reply.

[Gillio]

To try to get this thread back to the subject.

Skunkbelly, I too, think you are overthinking it. I think your kids will take it in their stride, and be more interested in which of your friends know about MTG or want to watch them do handstands. If the do ask questions, and you say, "you know, like friends dads, or Miss Lydia and Miss Heather", they'll get it.

Thank goodness there are no bigots going!

[Fragile Bird]

Um, Foxtrot, I just spent a week with my best friends at a cottage. They've been married 30 years and are still madly in love with each other. They hold hands, they kiss each other in the morning, in the afternoon, and at night, or when one of them is going somewhere (like driving into town to get groceries), they snuggled on the couch in front of the fire. We go to the same church, and they hold hands in the pew, or put their arms around the other's waist while standing and saying prayers. When they do the exchange of a sign of peace, they don't shake hands, they hug each other and kiss. In church, no less!

I gather all of this behaviour would be unacceptable to you? Feel free to correct me if I have misunderstood your posts.

If I state your position correctly, honestly, I would highly recommend you get some counseling for your fear, or loathing, or discomfort with, normal human public displays of love and affection.

I can understand being upset at seeing things which may be inappropriate at, say, work, but walking down the street holding hands or kissing a loved one in public are not actions most of the world gets upset about (maybe in very religious nations). We are not talking about a couple having a roll in the hay in the grass in the park on Sunday afternoon in front of the kids playing soccer, we are talking about normal adult behaviour that might be seen happening between couples sharing a beach house.

Now, rule number one at the cottage, or beach house, is no sex. The walls are too thin. :)

[All-for-Joffrey]

I wish I was a floob so I could tell a mod to fuck off! :devil:

[Fragile Bird]

I wish I was a floob so I could tell a mod to fuck off! :devil:

Don't let your status hold you back! I'm sure the mods would enjoy a little excitement. :P

[mormont]

Foxtrot: yes, I have read the whole thread. It's sad that you are standing by what you said. Frankly, you cannot stand by every one of your statements, because they are incompatible. You can't stand by the first statement, and still claim you have a 'non-discriminatory mindset': the former disproves the latter. A 'non-discriminatory mindset' is one where any display of affection is equal. You spend a lot of time telling us that this is your belief, but at the same time insist on standing by a statement which says certain displays of affection are not equal.

Skunky: my own feeling on this is not to 'prepare' the kids, because any way you do that marks the situation out as worthy of extra attention. And it's not.

[polishgenius]

I wish I was a floob so I could tell a mod to fuck off! :devil:

In all fairness, Terra's good about separating his mod-powers from his enjoyment of a good verbal ruckus.

[Chaldanya]

Skunky: my own feeling on this is not to 'prepare' the kids, because any way you do that marks the situation out as worthy of extra attention. And it's not.

Agree with Mormie here. Also, if they are already aware that there is more than one type of family and they see how you and Mr Skunk are with each other in their family it won't be a noteworthy thing to see it in other families. I think that made sense...

N

[Whitestripe]

Thanks guys. Let me be clear about this to anyone who missed it the first time: I don't think it's a big deal. Obviously, if I had a problem, I wouldn't be sharing a house for a week with a gay couple. (Among others) I'm NOT expecting to discover my friends having sex in the pool, but they will be sharing a room. I am sure that they will probably want to snuggle on the couch to watch TV, give each other quick kisses good morning or good night, etc. That, to me, is appropriate.

My daughter, in particular, isn't shy about asking questions. "Why Grandma and Grandpa always pray before they eat. Why don't we pray?" "Is that a lady? Why is her hair so short?" "Why doesn't XX eat meat?" That sort of thing. The reason that the Misses Lydia and Heather came up is because I had to drop something off at their house and they were on the way out for a bike ride. My daughter asked if one was over at the others for a play date. I said no, that they both lived there like we all live in our house.

My children know that there is such a thing a homosexuality, but I don't think that we've ever used the words "gay" or "homosexuality." It's just the way people are. They know they should not discriminate or treat people differently. They've certainly met gay people. One of the guys who will be at the beach has crashed at our house before.

I want to make it a non-issue. And I certainly wasn't planning to sit them down and make it a big deal. I just didn't know if a word beforehand would be wise or overkill. Honestly, I don't even know what I would say other than "Steve, who you met before, and Mitch will be there too." When going down the list of other couples and families while will be there.

This trip is a college friends reunion of a sort. We're meeting several other people who we haven't seen in years. We'll be meeting most of their spouses for the first time. What the kids know is that "we're going to the beach to have a house party with some of Mom and Dad's friends from college."

I see now that I am totally over thinking it. Thanks for telling me what I already knew. :)

[Ser Scot A Ellison]

We're all ignoring the big issue from Foxtrot's post. What is wrong with breakfast for dinner? French toast, waffles, pancakes, bacon, eggs, hashbrowns, homefries, they all taste wonderfuly. Does eating them in the evening spoil their flavor?

[All-for-Joffrey]

We're all ignoring the big issue from Foxtrot's post. What is wrong with breakfast for dinner? French toast, waffles, pancakes, bacon, eggs, hashbrowns, homefries, they all taste wonderfuly. Does eating them in the evening spoil their flavor?

He called it "abnormal" if IIRC. That's bullshit. Eating breakfast for dinner is one of the most normal things there is. It's so popular that Perkins and other diners a popular business model based on serving breakfast 24-7.

Breakfast for dinner and anal sex are two of my favorite things ever and I fail to see how either are abnormal as hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people partake in both.