Is spanking wrong?

[Q the Cat]

This thread was not what I was expecting...

I have to admit I thought the same thing .... So, spank me!

:spank:

:leaving:

[Littlefingers In The Air]

Victims often do feel a deep bond with their abusers. How many times has your grandmother hit a child because they failed to repeat her religious indoctrination correctly?

I know I was reading the entirety of the Bible by 8 years old but God knows I don't recall the process it took to get there. It was my Grandma who played the biggest role though.

[Masonity]

I know I was reading the entirety of the Bible by 8 years old but God knows I don't recall the process it took to get there. It was my Grandma who played the biggest role though.

That's just, yeah.

I know you love her. She's your grandmother. But she honestly sounds like an abusive person who probably shouldn't be left in charge of a small child.

[polishgenius]

Yeah, it's fine, but it should be absolutely a thing of last resort, very rare, and delivered for consistent reasons. I think I got two in my entire life and both were after my parents had tried everything else, and for something I really needed to stop doing before it got me in real trouble.

That's a proper one though. There's nothing wrong at all with a sharp smack on the hand or bum if it's necessary especially, like masonity says, with kids who don't respond to rationalisation (though that doesn't necessarily mean being too small - sometimes they're just being dicks). But again, should be consistent - no use smacking for some tiny thing then letting a bigger misbehaviour go with a sigh or a shout, or letting something go one time and hitting the next.

I say that, I've never hit a kid and I'm not sure that I ever would (I don't have my own yet and hitting someone else's kids is rather different, after all).

[Littlefingers In The Air]

That's just, yeah.

I know you love her. She's your grandmother. But she honestly sounds like an abusive person who probably shouldn't be left in charge of a small child.

Yeah, she's guilty of a lot of things she'll probably never have to answer for here on Earth. We usually just dismiss it as being well meaning and how she was brought up.

[Masonity]

Yeah, she's guilty of a lot of things she'll probably never have to answer for here on Earth. We usually just dismiss it as being well meaning and how she was brought up.

Yet you are enabling her to carry on the abuse with a fresh victim, often helping to watch her even. Rather than explaining to the parents that your grandmother is an abusive person who shouldn't be left in charge of a small child.

[Littlefingers In The Air]

Yet you are enabling her to carry on the abuse with a fresh victim, often helping to watch her even. Rather than explaining to the parents that your grandmother is an abusive person who shouldn't be left in charge of a small child.

I wouldn't say that. I've told them she spanks the little girl and I myself have stepped in to punish the little girl with an alternative method, usually having her stand in the corner or cleaning something, both of which she hates. When I'm home, I try to make sure she's never alone with her because I know how impatient she is. It's sad but it's true.

[Galactus]

This remains baffling. You don't. Hit. Children. It's like the basic rule of "Don't be a dick".

[Kobayashi Maru]

Well I got my share of spanking as a kid and now when I look back at it it was never too harsh on not deserved...once I cut my baby brother while playing surgeons,once I called my mother a whore ( had no idea what that meant just repeated what I heard on the street) and that was pretty much it. Getting a one spank on behind for this or that was nothing. More like a scaring technique and it worked better than talking I must say...actually I remember prefering it to talking :) I remember once my mother started talking to me how what I did was wrong ect and I said,mom can you just do the spanking in sted please this is killing me,I was maybe six or seven. Talking usually got me all eyroling and sullen and the more my mother talked the more I thought you don't tell me what to do I'll do what I want....but if I got spanked for something...I rarely ever did that again. I'm for it in some situation ( the stove example) when the kid just can't grasp the seriousness of the situation. It really isn't beating I'm supporting God forbid or punishment it's more like a scare. I had experience with his kid who was a real problem,he was hurting other children an he was just too ypug to understand it,he sat on another boys head on a concrete floor,other boy couldn't breathe and had some damage to his face,he almost poke a girls eye cause started hiting her with a heavy wooden toy,she got a little scar two millimeters from her left eye...and so on. Of course all we could do was talk to him and it had no use whatsoever,kid just kept doing what he did and his only response to thinking chair etc was to say sorry and that was it. In his case a spank might give him a scare and stop him from crossing a line. I remember when I hurt my brother I was that young or couple of months older. What really got trough me and made me realize what I did was something really bad was not my mom yelling or hm crying,he cried for everything he was a baby,it was the spanking I got that made me stop and think...I remember every time after that when I wanted to play with my brother my first thought was is it safe for him,will I hurt him. Only later when I was like eight or nine and when I had my share of cuts and bruises did I realize how bad I might have hurt my brother with those sizors. Sometimes kid doesn't understand what might be the consequences and some other form of punishment such as taking away toys just might not be enough to make them realize the severity of the situation. Fear cuts deeper then the sword. If a spanking means preventing them hurt other kid or themselves severely I'm all for it.

[Inigima]

The evidence strongly suggests that it's not an effective tactic. Given the debate about its morality, it's hard to see a reason to use it.

[Masonity]

This remains baffling. You don't. Hit. Children. It's like the basic rule of "Don't be a dick".

Honestly, I'd extend this to "You don't hit people, full stop." The greater the power imbalance, the worse it is.

The only time anyone should be hitting anyone is grown adults who both give explicit consent* or in order to prevent an immediate worse wrong. Breaking someone's arm throwing them away from a roof ledge then were about to jump off isn't wrong, nor is smacking a hand about to touch a live wire, nor is hitting someone about to shoot someone else.

*Both for sport, sexual reasons or to settle differences. I think it's a lousy way to settle differences, but if both consent, who am I to stop them?

[Kobayashi Maru]

I think some ppl now yell abuse for everything. I would never use spanking and by spanking I mean a hit or two on behind with a hand, nor I ever did but I think if I see my daugther cutting her brother with sizors or sitting on someones head and suffocating him I would spank.

[Masonity]

I think some ppl now yell abuse for everything. I would never use spanking and by spanking I mean a hit or two on behind with a hand, nor I ever did but I think if I see my daugther cutting her brother with sizors or sitting on someones head and suffocating him I would spank.

If I caught my daughter cutting my son with scissors i'd probably spank her too, in the heat of the moment. It'd be wrong though.

[Lany Freelove Cassandra]

it's hard to see a reason to use it.

as was stated, to prevent real harm to the child when they are just not responding to anything else.

I will give an example of the 2 or 3 times I had to (and it was certainly a last result thing)

My older son threw some very serious temper tantrums, the kind where I worried he would hurt himself or someone else and he was so out of control I couldn't just hold him until he calmed down (which is what I normally tried to do). That one little smack and the shock generally brought him around enough to be reasoned with or at least held.

[Littlefingers In The Air]

I'm seriously considering therapy, because my girlfriend was pointing out the other day that I can be aggressive and that it scares her. Given the propensity for violence not only in my family but by people in my community in general, I think this is the best decision. I've never been (physically) abusive to someone and I would like to make sure it stays that way,

[Castel]

I don't know. On the one hand I'm not that against the idea of punishing kids physically if the parent can be reasonable, consistent and within bounds. On the other hand, going off my own personal experience, I don't think that I trust adults with this enough to give it a general pass.

[Arch-MaesterPhilip]

My parents never really hit us as kids, I can only recall getting hit once by my mother. I touched the stove when it was lit and I got a rap across the knuckles with the wooden spoon. My father would just yell and yell and it worked pretty well.

[Spockydog]

My grandad once beat the shit out of me for picking wallpaper off the wall. He was a total cunt.

[Matrim Fox Cauthon]

Even if we ignore the morality of spanking, we would probably recognize far more effective means of disciplining children. If there are more effective means of disciplining children apart from physical violence, then what's the benefit of spanking?

[Littlefingers In The Air]

Even if we ignore the morality of spanking, we would probably recognize far more effective means of disciplining children. If there are more effective means of disciplining children apart from physical violence, then what's the benefit of spanking?

I could argue that it's a convenient method of last resort before you have to get into methods that would cost money, but I'm not sure how much I believe that.