Ordos Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 As requested here is the bird story. My father is an environmental activist in Indonesia. He owns an animal rescue center in the province where I live. Protected and endangered animals are brought here after they have been confiscated from people selling them illegally and are temporarily held until they can be released into the wild again. So there is this large animal enclosure that sits on the slope of a steep hill. The ridge has a road leading to a parking area and a building for accommodating the volunteers (People from around the world actually pay to stay and feed the animals. Mostly animal loving tourists). The parking area and bungalow overlook the animal enclosure from concrete walls. This animal enclosure is partially forested and the top of the hill is where the animal caretakers descend into the enclosure from the top of the wall separating the onlookers from the animals. The enclosure includes deer, babirusa (English translation: deer pig. which is unique species of horned boar from the island of Celebes) and two cassowaries. From the top, you can throw in food scraps and the boars will eat them. The cassowaries rule the enclosure and the other animals keep their distance from them. Anyway my brother and some friends were visiting the rescue center and spent the night in the bungalows overlooking the animal enclosure (and a great view of the ocean also). We stayed up late eating seafood and drinking. In the early morning hours one of our friends decides to get closer and enters the animal territory. Because I was asleep, I was not a witness to the incident but my brother gave a great description of what happened and took pictures. He probably wanted to hand feed the boars and deer (I have to ask him again). Anyway as he walked around, my brother from the safety of the hill top called out ‘Don’t get too close to the cassowary!’ to which our friend responded with ‘I’m not afraid of them!’ He then raised his fists and did some air punching as if he were boxing. The cassowary notices this and takes it as a provocation. It turned its head and made a strange noise before charging. My friend then screams like a schoolgirl and runs as fast as an Olympics athlete towards the wall. He scrambles to get to the top but falls and scrapes his knee. He quickly tries to go up the wall again. This time he succeeds in climbing to safety seconds before the cassowary caught up with him. My brother and another friend who witnessed the whole thing were laughing so hard when I woke up and walked out of the bungalow. That’s the story. Make some good dinosaur jokes here (referring to the cassowary)! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 LOL. I actually felt the suspense at the end...will he make it...will he not...beware THE CASSOWARY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Don't they have like proper velociraptor heel-spikes that can disembowel the unwary? Those birds are hardcore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horza Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Don't they have like proper velociraptor heel-spikes that can disembowel the unwary? Those birds are hardcore. Yeah, a five inch talon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoth Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Cassowary and kung fu shrimp. "Two creatures enter! One creature Leaves!""Two creatures enter! One creature Leaves!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polishgenius Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Don't they have like proper velociraptor heel-spikes that can disembowel the unwary? Those birds are hardcore. Like I said in the other topic, they're basically glam-rock dinosaurs.In fact, I hereby begin my campaign to officially rename them Velocibowies. Cassowary and kung fu shrimp. "Two creatures enter! One creature Leaves!""Two creatures enter! One creature Leaves!" Kung fu shrimp? Pfffffffft. The mantis shrimp is where it's at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoth Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Kung fu shrimp? Pfffffffft. The mantis shrimp is where it's at. Expect a stern reply from X-Ray soon. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Notorious Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 I bet the cassowary thought the human was a terrorist. How heavily bearded was the human, ordos, and were they taking pictures of the hill? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ordos Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 I bet the cassowary thought the human was a terrorist. How heavily bearded was the human, ordos, and were they taking pictures of the hill? I'll answer your joke question with the truth. My brother was taking pictures of our friend retreating from the cassowary. My friend was shirtless because he likes to show off his tattoos (he's a tattoo artist) and he has no beard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 It's likely the bird thought your friend was in a biker gang and that your brother was taking pictures because they planned to build a meth lab on the steep hill. Luckily the bird took action, thereby avoiding the BIGGEST mistake of its life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all swedes are racist Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 No no no, everyone knows cassowarys are genetically predisposed to be aggressive murderous menaces, and should all be sterilized and/or euthanized. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 I'm trying to come up with a dinosaur-themed joke but cannot get over this hurdle: "Cassowaptor" doesn't have the same menacing sound as "Velicoraptor". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 The bird is plenty menacing, it speaks for itself drop bear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Kung fu shrimp? Pfffffffft. The mantis shrimp is where it's at. The Kung-Fu Shrimp is a mantis shrimp -- peacock mantis shrimp, to be exact. If I took on my Kung-Fu Shrimp Aspect, and raised up an Attribute*, I would totally kick that cassowary's ass. I would kick all cassowary ass. :whip: *Zelazny fans unite! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoth Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 I'm trying to come up with a dinosaur-themed joke but cannot get over this hurdle: "Cassowaptor" doesn't have the same menacing sound as "Velicoraptor". :lol: In my head, I'll be hearing Barry Kripke saying "Cassowaptor" all day now. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mance Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 :lol: In my head, I'll be hearing Barry Kripke saying "Cassowaptor" all day now. Thanks. Could be worse. Could be, "Beware the Wath of the Cassowapta!" So, ya, at least its not that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince of the North Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Hmm...I don't know...I think "Velociwary" has a nice, bad-ass ring to it :fencing: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mance Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Hmm...I don't know...I think "Velociwary" has a nice, bad-ass ring to it :fencing: Ermm, sounds more like a fear of going too fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince of the North Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Ermm, sounds more like a fear of going too fast. Eh, you're right! Well, then maybe we could at least get away with promoting the "Velociwary" as the Jabberwocky's long-lost, even-more-aggressive cousin :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maarsen Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Be very glad that moas are extinct.http://www.sumnertoferrymead.co.nz/images/moa.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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