kissdbyfire Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 24 minutes ago, Spockydog said: Fuck it. Just bought a ticket for this: Speed Dating in City Of London Good luck! 24 minutes ago, Spockydog said: Right. Where did I leave my Paco Rabane? And remember, less is more! Spockydog 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik of Hazelfield Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 Regarding online dating, I met a whole lot of nice women on Tinder, the last of which became my current fiancée, so for me it worked. But I think it may differ between countries, among other things. This was also five years ago and things may have changed. In any case, for me online dating was a huge advantage, because it provided me with a non-awkward way to find a date. I’ve always been a better writer than talker, so that part fit me pretty well, and the fact that I knew she had looked at my profile and liked what she’d seen gave me some confidence. But most importantly, it had me dating regularly, as opposed to just hoping that someone nice and single happened to come my way and ask for my number, which obviously didn’t happen ever. I’m personally a bit sceptical to the idea of joining a class, meet-up or organisation of some sort and hope to find friendship there that can eventually lead to love. In what other context would you recommend someone not to go for what they want, but instead do something completely different and hope that, by some stroke of luck, you find what you’re searching for? (For practicing your social skills and making friends, that’s a whole other story. Just don’t expect to find a girlfriend there.) Larry of the Lawn 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears of Lys Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 1 hour ago, Spockydog said: Fuck it. Just bought a ticket for this: Speed Dating in City Of London Right. Where did I leave my Paco Rabane? Just don't mention to your prospective dates that you're a budding millionaire, okay? BTW, shouldn't you be working?? I know - all work and no play makes Spocky a sad dog. Larry of the Lawn 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spockydog Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 (edited) 3 hours ago, kissdbyfire said: And remember, less is more! I have never actually owned a bottle of Paco Rabane. I actually favour two or three squirts of Issey Miyake. My favourite fragrance of all time. Or maybe it's Eternity for men, the OG one, by Calvin Klein. Edited February 25 by Spockydog kissdbyfire 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spockydog Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 2 hours ago, Tears of Lys said: BTW, shouldn't you be working?? I know - all work and no play makes Spocky a sad dog. I am working, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight Of Winter Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 On 2/23/2024 at 8:24 AM, Crixus said: I tried Bumble a couple of years ago when I'd broken up with my bf. I think online dating is definitely skewed toward women: I created an extremely basic, thin profile and had literally 100s of 'requests' or whatever it's called in the first 2 hours. Since women have to initiate contact, I tried sifting through and got in touch with a few. My criteria was pretty much 'I'd like to get to know someone, not interested in a quick shag'. Thing is, a lot of the men prominently featured 'interested in a real relationship' etc. on their profiles but once I connected with them, all but one wanted to immediately meet up or even, lol, come over!!1! There was one I chatted with for a few days, found him nice enough, and finally mustered the nerve to meet at a bar near my place. The date was pleasant enough, but literally the next day he started messaging me on the lines of 'if you're not interested in meeting at my place this evening, I have another chick who is'. So, yeah, that was it. Luckily, my bf and I reconnected a few months later and things have been great since. I cannot imagine doing this again and if I am ever single, I guess I'll just be celibate :P. It both fascinates and appalls me how profoundly unsuccessful dating apps are at their most basic purpose: connecting sane and normal people who would be interested in meeting each other. A few of my female friends were on dating apps, and their experience was eerily like yours (and many many other women): lots of matches, however, these are - lots of guys looking for hookups, lots of low-effort guys, lost of guys prone to flakiness and indecisiveness etc. As I said - lots of matches, but rarely a single serious one. Meanwhile, myself and my male friends who were on dating apps at some point had the opposite problem: namely being radio-silenced. Likes were rare, and matches even more so, of out few matches half don't respond to first message, and out of those who continued chatting few would end up in dates. I'd say one date every several months was the norm. It's obvious that apps are full of women and men who are serious about looking for a relationship - yet these somehow rarely end up interacting with each other. You'd think that it would be easy enough: "Hey, we're all on this app, so we're looking for a partner. We've matched so there's some basic level of attraction. Let's talk and/or meet and if we click: great, we're dating. And if we don't: great, we'll move on and meet other people". But nope - what happens is that normal women end up meeting creeps and hookup-wannabes while normal men don't end up meeting anyone at all. Ughhh, rant over. Obviously, this is not everyone's experience. Success stories do exists (seriously, congrats @Erik of Hazelfield ), but judging from everything I've seen, heard, read or experienced - they're far less common than expected. 13 hours ago, Erik of Hazelfield said: I’m personally a bit sceptical to the idea of joining a class, meet-up or organisation of some sort and hope to find friendship there that can eventually lead to love. In what other context would you recommend someone not to go for what they want, but instead do something completely different and hope that, by some stroke of luck, you find what you’re searching for? (For practicing your social skills and making friends, that’s a whole other story. Just don’t expect to find a girlfriend there.) People go to work for work, and to college to study - yet workplace and college are statistically two most common places to find your marriage partner. Same applies to all the other hobbies, activities and clubs. It's not (or rather: it shouldn't be) about desperately searching for a partner doing things you're not really interested in, but expending your social network and sphere of interests (as you note in your last sentence), however these expansions naturally lead to more dating opportunities - especially since you're surrounded by like-minded people who are interested in same hobby or club. All other factors being equal, I'd certainly say someone with regular 2 hobbies and 1 club has much higher chance of meeting compatible romantic partner than a homebody whose lives revolve around workplace and solitary home activities. Crixus 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spockydog Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 I asked my sister for dating site tips. She told me to put as much information as possible in my profile. She reviewed my pics, and told me to remove one. And then she gave me the prime directive: Be yourself, and don't mention money or sex. Tears of Lys and kissdbyfire 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 2 minutes ago, Spockydog said: I asked my sister for dating site tips. She told me to put as much information as possible in my profile. She reviewed my pics, and told me to remove one. And then she gave me the prime directive: Be yourself, and don't mention money or sex. Very sound advice, listen to your sister! Tears of Lys 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spockydog Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 2 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said: Very sound advice, listen to your sister! I have two sisters. Laura, who is basically a female version of me. And Susan, who I would never dream of discussing things like this with. Funny that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 1 minute ago, Spockydog said: I have two sisters. Laura, who is basically a female version of me. And Susan, who I would never dream of discussing things like this with. Funny that. OMG now I'm defo certain you should always listen to her b/c she's not only clearly wise and intelligent and I'm sure beautiful, but she also has the greatest name! Ever! Spockydog 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spockydog Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 (edited) Anyway, I must be doing something right. I'm having enormous success on Match. I've not met anyone in person yet*, but I have several ongoing conversations with some interesting ladies. * I did have plans today for a dog walking icebreaker with the teaching assistant from Kew. But it got rained off due to the bloomin' rain. Edited February 25 by Spockydog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spockydog Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 (edited) 2 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said: OMG now I'm defo certain you should always listen to her b/c she's not only clearly wise and intelligent and I'm sure beautiful, but she also has the greatest name! Ever! I had to turn down a potential match with a Laura. I just can't date anyone with the same name as my sisters. Edited February 25 by Spockydog kissdbyfire 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Just now, Spockydog said: I had to turn down a potential match. I just can't date anyone with the same name as my sisters. Yeah, I suppose I can see how that could feel awkward and even a tad icky? We're not Targaryens after all! Spockydog 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigFatCoward Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 3 hours ago, Spockydog said: I had to turn down a potential match with a Laura. I just can't date anyone with the same name as my sisters. My rule was always nobody younger than my youngest sister. Thankfully my wife is 4 months older than her. Either way it's a bit noncey, 8.5 years is borderline gross. And my wife is also called Laura. The Sunland Lord, Larry of the Lawn and Spockydog 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spockydog Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 15 minutes ago, BigFatCoward said: And my wife is also called Laura. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derfel Cadarn Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 I soent about 11 months on and off using Ok Cupid and Plenty of Fish. On one occasion at the end (not sure what happened), I started a first message greeting the woman by her first name. A minute later I got a reply asking “Who the hell is Lorraine?” Anyway, we’ve been together for 10 years this summer and married for almost 8, and have a 5 year old daughter. Crixus, Larry of the Lawn, Tears of Lys and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spockydog Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 1 minute ago, Derfel Cadarn said: I soent about 11 months on and off using Ok Cupid and Plenty of Fish. On one occasion at the end (not sure what happened), I started a first message greeting the woman by her first name. A minute later I got a reply asking “Who the hell is Lorraine?” Anyway, we’ve been together for 10 years this summer and married for almost 8, and have a 5 year old daughter. You see? It's not a total waste of time. Happy for you, man. Derfel Cadarn 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 33 minutes ago, Spockydog said: Oi! It’s a beautiful name! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spockydog Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 1 hour ago, kissdbyfire said: Oi! It’s a beautiful name! No argument there. kissdbyfire 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spockydog Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 (edited) Lol. One of my most favourite crushes on Match just broke the prime directive by saying this: "It's unbelievable that you didn't date for soooo long, no sex in this time?" With beads of sweat breaking out on my brow and my sister's words ringing in my ears, I responded with a simple, "Nope." Edited February 25 by Spockydog Madame deVenoge 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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