Dating Thread: In Memoriam

[Toth]

7 hours ago, maarsen said:

That is a life lesson. There is always some creepy guy interrupting you when things start to become interesting. I will bet anything the woman feels the same as you and is waiting to reconnect. Good luck.

I somehow doubt that. A conversation is still just a conversation. I also clicked back and... I was certain I already mentioned her before, but I couldn't find any post here or elsewhere, so I will mention this (again): I was a bit bummed out to hear that she will move away in a few months, which is why I asked her whether she was considering going to a convention next month, which would have been a great excuse to meet up in real life. Unfortunately she declined, saying she will likely be too busy (though oddly still keeping the option open to go spontaneously). At the same time however she said she'd like to meet up next year when her life is less defined by radical changes, but that's a long time off and I somehow doubt it will happen.

[Madame deVenoge]

2 hours ago, Toth said:

I somehow doubt that. A conversation is still just a conversation. I also clicked back and... I was certain I already mentioned her before, but I couldn't find any post here or elsewhere, so I will mention this (again): I was a bit bummed out to hear that she will move away in a few months, which is why I asked her whether she was considering going to a convention next month, which would have been a great excuse to meet up in real life. Unfortunately she declined, saying she will likely be too busy (though oddly still keeping the option open to go spontaneously). At the same time however she said she'd like to meet up next year when her life is less defined by radical changes, but that's a long time off and I somehow doubt it will happen.

You did mention it; I remember it - the post went away when we had to kill the thread due to my Cyberstalker.

[DMC]

4 hours ago, Madame deVenoge said:

Intimidated - I’ll let other men explain it to you. 

I dunno.  Men on this forum aren’t too intimidating.  Unless you ask about Ned Stark or something.

To be serious, from the sounds of it I think you’re right.  Law professor was being a douche and not up front about fearing being in a relationship.  Which I can identify with.  But I try not to mislead women.  Jackass.

[Toth]

26 minutes ago, Madame deVenoge said:

You did mention it; I remember it - the post went away when we had to kill the thread due to my Cyberstalker.

Ah yes, indeed! (Hope he has gotten bored of it...)

Edited April 27 by Toth

[Madame deVenoge]

17 hours ago, DMC said:

I dunno.  Men on this forum aren’t too intimidating.  Unless you ask about Ned Stark or something.

To be serious, from the sounds of it I think you’re right.  Law professor was being a douche and not up front about fearing being in a relationship.  Which I can identify with.  But I try not to mislead women.  Jackass.

Yeah, gigantically douchey. I’m incredibly hurt, there were zero warning signs. Literally a fuck me and leave me. 

[Reny of Storms End]

7 hours ago, Madame deVenoge said:

Yeah, gigantically douchey. I’m incredibly hurt, there were zero warning signs. Literally a fuck me and leave me. 

I just want all of us to catch a break. Like come the fuck on world, let us have and enjoy some happiness!

Edited April 28 by Reny of Storms End
an-and

[BigFatCoward]

Has Ty actually posted since he hooked up with his new squeeze, or is he just a broken husk of a man now from getting lucky about 10 times a day? 

[Phylum of Alexandria]

26 minutes ago, BigFatCoward said:

Has Ty actually posted since he hooked up with his new squeeze, or is he just a broken husk of a man now from getting lucky about 10 times a day? 

I can't help think of the poor captured Gelflings and Podlings in Dark Crystal, after being drained of their "essence..."

[Madame deVenoge]

2 hours ago, BigFatCoward said:

Has Ty actually posted since he hooked up with his new squeeze, or is he just a broken husk of a man now from getting lucky about 10 times a day? 

I will give him a call and report back.

[Spockydog]

He ded.

[Madame deVenoge]

23 minutes ago, Spockydog said:

He ded.

NOT UNALIVE. He is sounding quite chipper, with both kidneys intact. One couldn’t sell his liver, anyways. 

He is quite busy (wink, wink, nudge, nudge??) and shall call me on May 7, at which time he shall again post. That is, if he isn’t really part of the Borg collective.

He has stated that his, ah “essence” is safe 

News in Chatayaville: I confessed to Law Professor that I was quite blindsided. He responded with a nice (and authentic sounding) text that when he left my house on Friday, he was just “not feeling it” and that he “couldn’t put his finger on it”.

I’m thinking “well, you feel like shit because my cats set off your allergies.” But what I said was “might you possibly take a week to reconsider? I suspect that my cats triggered your allergies and we might have been moving too quickly. If you are amenable to continuing, we could not spend any significant time at my house, and also move more slowly. That said, if your decision as it stands is truly final, I respect that. Just let me know.”

I’m going to assign at least a 75% probability that he comes around. Let him talk to his therapist. His therapist will hopefully tell him that he clearly needs to keep spending $200 per week if he lets me go.

Meanwhile, I shan’t do anything untoward with other people, but I am keeping my options open.

Edited April 28 by Madame deVenoge

[Spockydog]

Honestly, the cat allergy seems like a deal breaker to me. You're never going to want to go catless, and dude can't spend the rest of his life on anti-histamines. 

Anyone allergic to dogs would be totally and instantly incompatible with me. I mean, allergic to dogs..? There has to be something inherently wrong there 

 

 

Edited April 29 by Spockydog

[JGP]

Raven, a former boarder, once told me that in her assessment people who love dogs are like cats, and that people who love cats are like dogs... and I can't unremember it. :p

It strikes so true sometimes.

Maybe it's the people that have both we ought to worry about.

[Madame deVenoge]

2 hours ago, Spockydog said:

Honestly, the cat allergy seems like a deal breaker to me. You're never going to want to go catless, and dude can't spend the rest of his life on anti-histamines. 

Anyone allergic to dogs would be totally and instantly incompatible with me. I mean, allergic to dogs..? There has to be something inherently wrong there 

 

 

I’ve actually gone catless a number of years, much as my son jokes about “Cat 4.0” when I’m 90-something. 

I have also spent literally 1/3 of MY life on antihistamines. Zyrtec every day and sometimes twice…I must do what I can to remain compatible with life in a world filled with plants. 
 

BUT - UPDATE - my son says the drama is ridiculous. To sum up:
 

Law Professor answered my text. Praised the openness and honesty of my feelings, and stating he didn’t want to be callous with my emotions, but stating that he would not accept a time frame, it is essentially forever that the door is open.

I responded back, stating that by so stating, he IS being callous with my emotions. And the offer is extended, and time is of the essence, and my terms are one week, and one week only.

i did apologize for being bitchy, I do have multiple work obligations tomorrow, and must arise at an unaccustomed time to do so.

That said, if I really want to hone my repartee in legalese, there is a conference I’m considering crashing (at least for the evening soirées) in Palm Beach.

Edited April 29 by Madame deVenoge

[Madame deVenoge]

Aaaaaaaand he hasn’t answered back, so I’m hurt, mostly because my ego is seriously bruised, but also: he’s a giant douchebag, clearly.

[Maithanet]

Law Professor sounds like the kind of guy who is very interested in a woman until they sleep together, and then he reassesses whether there is an actual future or not.  Perhaps a bit less callous than someone who says explicitly lies about wanting a relationship, but the result is often the same. 

That hurts, sorry that is happening to you.   

[Reny of Storms End]

5 hours ago, Madame deVenoge said:

Aaaaaaaand he hasn’t answered back, so I’m hurt, mostly because my ego is seriously bruised, but also: he’s a giant douchebag, clearly.

A giant douchebag who also clearly has no taste

[Tears of Lys]

Stick to your guns.  The nerve of him, after your giving him your heart and your body.  (Mistake, I suspect, but it brought things to a head quicker.)  And then you give him one week to decide whether he wants to continue, his saying (essentially) "No, the door to YOU is essentially open forever.  I'M the one in control."  

I'd be over and done with him, frankly.  

[Madame deVenoge]

57 minutes ago, Tears of Lys said:

Stick to your guns.  The nerve of him, after your giving him your heart and your body.  (Mistake, I suspect, but it brought things to a head quicker.)  And then you give him one week to decide whether he wants to continue, his saying (essentially) "No, the door to YOU is essentially open forever.  I'M the one in control."  

I'd be over and done with him, frankly.  

Yeah, his name is not (the Doctor).

I had a good cry about it, today. But, yeah. I’m  a very forgiving person - but this is a bridge I can’t cross.

[mcbigski]

On 4/26/2024 at 6:00 PM, Madame deVenoge said:

well, ah, I just got broken up with. Ouch. He was very nice about it. Still not fun, though. I soooo did not see this coming. He was all about how attracted to me he was, how gorgeous I am, etc. I didn’t make any serious mistakes like getting drunk or picking a bad restaurant.

 

Women pick restaurants for dates?  I'm pretty easy going, but whenever I've asked back "what do you want to eat" it's usually seemed to come off as my losing points for not being decisive, when really I'm just a low key omnivore.

Sorry to hear, but I've definitely stopped seeing someone because she liked to sleep in the cold, without appropriate blankets and snored a lot.  Hard to be with someone where you're wildly divergent on something so basic as sleep conditions.  No blame, but not everyone is totally cat compliant maybe.